>When you come in the next morning, nothing seems out of sorts. >Starlight is snuggled very closely to Slate. >Fluffy is in her bed, and Mandy is on his back as usual. >Huh, the cage is awfully clean. >He didn't eat too much yesterday, anyway.  At least you won't have to clean it out. >You set your bag on the front desk and head over to wake everyone up. >”Mommy back!” >You give Starlight a hug as you take her out and set her in the pen. “Yes, mommy's back.” >She runs in wobbly rings, chanting 'yay mommy!'. >Slate yawns as you take him out next. >”Nice hooman fin' new fwiends?” “I'm afraid not.” >You probably should have gotten up a bit earlier, you might have been able to find a couple. >The four times you woke up after dreaming about a Felix sandwich thwarted you. >You check on Mandy next. >His eyes are halfway open, as is his mouth. >This is his usual waking up look, so you leave him for a moment to retrieve Fluffy. >Once she's in the pen, you go back to get Mandy. >...something's not right.  His eyes are all the way open now, but look in different directions. >His left foreleg twitches every so often. “Mandy?” >He might be as slow as a quadraplegic snail, but he still knows his name.  Most of the time. >It gets no response out of him, however. >You look more closely.  He's still breathing. >Very carefully, you scoop him out and carry him over to the desktop. “Fluffy, what happened to Mandy?” >She climbs out of the litter box and looks up at you. >”Make funny noisies.  Bouncy.” >You spend a moment to translate that into English. >That sounds an awful lot like a seizure. >You look at Mandy again. >He's still twitching a bit.  Drool trickles down his cheek fluff. >”Fwiend okay?” Starlight asks. “I'm...I'm not sure.” >You wave your index finger above his face.  A healthy fluffy would track it, usually while asking 'wha doin'?' >Mandy's eyes don't even budge. >Even his blinks are incredibly slow. >It's finally happened.  His brain is broken. >”Wan' pway wif fwiend!  Pwease gif!” Starlight calls. >Mandy is in no state for that, of course. >You have to get him to the vet... >No, you already know what she'll say. >You may as well do this yourself. >”Mommy?  Wha' doin'?  Why no gif fwiend?” >You look over at the pen.  Starlight is plopped on her rear, gazing at you, while Slate stands beside her. “Mandy doesn't feel well.” >”Sickies?” she tilts her head. “Um...yes!  You could say that.” >”Gif huggies!  Huggies make betta!” >...maybe they could.  Maybe she could suffocate him for you by accident. >Damn it, how could you think that?! “I don't think huggies will help, sweetie.” >”Gif nummies?” Slate offers. >You just shake your head, too busy thinking about how to get this over with. >It has to be quick.  He deserves that. >No leaving him outside to fry on the sidewalk. >No letting him starve to death either. >The least horrible option is to take him and break his neck. >Picturing this brings out the tears. >”Nuuuuuuuu!  Why mommy cwy?!” “I'll be right b-back...” >It takes so much effort to choke out the words. >You gently pick Mandy up and go to the door in the back right corner. >This is a storage closet, the only place in the building that's out of sight of the play pen. >You can hear Starlight calling fearfully as you shut the door. >You never go back here with a fluffy pony.  She knows something is wrong. >After you turn on the light, you set Mandy down on an empty shelf. >The cold metal makes him twitch a little more violently. >Even though you know he's mentally checked out, you can't help but think his derped eyes look a little fearful. >That's probably the fault of the part of you that's already regretting this. >You pick him up again. >You finally have to admit that you have no idea how to do this. >Unlike your unstable cousin, you tend to shy away from murdering living creatures. >You wrap your left hand around his neck. >Too hard; he poops a little.  Now he's shaking. >He can't be in pain, he was barely responsive! >Suddenly, he emits a broken, high-pitched squeak. >It startles you, and you drop him.  Little cracks ring out as he strikes the tile floor. “N-no, that's not what I meant to do!” >His eyes are still looking in different directions, but his body twitches furiously. >The squeaks.  Oh god, the squeaks. >Frantic, you pick him up off the floor.  His blood gets onto your hands. >He's wiggling, and now the blood's making him slippery. “Mandy, stop!” >Why would he stop?  He's in terrible pain and it's your fault. >He slips out of your hands and drops again, landing with more faint snaps. >The chirping shifts from tinny and fearful to weak and pained. >After a few agonizing seconds, you're just desperate to stop the noise. >You kneel and punch him.  Right in the head.  He squeaks loudly one more time, then falls still. >Now you have to shove down your emotions, and get him into the trash can by the sinks without Starlight or Slate seeing the body. >You gather up his bloody corpse and shoulder open the door. >”Mommy back!  Bwing fwiend too?” >You dare not turn and look at them.  You just walk sideways along the wall until you reach the can, then drop Mandy in. >Damn it, some of his blood got on your white shirt. >”Nice hooman haf fwiend?  Whewe fwiend go?” >You wash the crimson off your hands, but there's no towel over here. >Without thinking, you turn to walk back to the desk. >Starlight sees it immediately.  ”D-dat boo-boo juice?” “No!  It's...uh...it's cranberry juice!” >Slate stares at you for what seems like an eternity. >”Whewe fwiend go?” he asks again. >Curse that fuzzy blue ball. >When you don't immediately answer, Starlight has enough time to piece it together. >”M-mommy huwt fwiend?  Why mommy huwt fwiend?” >You walk toward the pen, but before you can even try to explain, Starlight is backing away from you. >”No huwt Stawigh'!  Stawigh' good fwuffy, no huwt!” >Slate positions himself between her and you. >”Why huwt fwiend, nice hooman?  Why make fwiend go 'way?” “I didn't have a choice!” >”Nice hooman neva huwt fwuffy, a'ways say fwuffies good, no get owwies!” “Mandy was sick, he was in pain, I had to...I had to...” >You sit on the floor by the pen.  Starlight scrambles to the farthest corner. >Slate eyes you for a minute, then follows her. >They're never going to understand this. “I'm not going to hurt you, don't run...” >”No suwe.  Hooman make fwiend go 'way.” “Slate, I had to!” >He cuddles with Starlight, who's now crying and trying to 'hide'.  His eyes never leave you. >Fluffy, as usual, may as well be on another planet.  She doesn't even acknowledge the noise. >You don't know what else to say, so you get up and go find a tissue. >You glance up at the clock.  It's not even ten thirty. >This day sure got ruined fast.