>You cannot believe you've been talked into this.
>And why is she so damn quiet?
>It's making you feel horribly awkward.  You have your hands clenched on your lap.
>And you're grimacing.  It's like you're getting a shot or something.
>”Relax, Lucy.”
“I am relaxed!”
>”You look like you're having teeth pulled.”
“I can't believe I'm doing this...”
>Sarah rolls her eyes and smiles a little.
>”It's one breeding pair.”
>You fold your arms and make a face, trying your best to imitate that look of hers.
>She just grins at you and returns her eyes to the road ahead.
>You're driving south to meet a low-volume alicorn breeder that's closing up shop.
>With strays in such short supply, and nothing else to occupy your time, you've decided to try Sarah's idea.
>Now you just hope you aren't going to regret it.
“So, like, what's different about the alicorns?  Besides the wings and horns at once, I mean.”
>Sarah taps her fingers on the steering wheel.  “They're a bit bigger.  Supposedly smarter.  They can't use magic, and they can't fly.”
“That's not very much different.”
>”They have better memories too.  I've been told they freak out for a long time if you take away their babies.”
>You blink and frown.
“I think Tiffany would enjoy this more than I would...”
>Sarah snorts a little and smiles.  “I'm sure she would.”
>You take off your cap and smooth back your un-dreadlocked hair.
“Why am I going to be good at this again?”
>”Because you've got the patience I lack.  I don't do well with the merchandise when it complains.”
“They're not merchandise, they're living things...”
>You gulp a little as you see Sarah's annoyed look.
>”We can have that argument again later.”
>Ten silent minutes pass before you leave the interstate and emerge into a small town.
>After a few turns, you find yourself in front of a nice brick one-story ranch-style house.
“Home business?”
>”Yeah, he only has a few pairs.”
>You get out and follow her up the path to the front door.  She rings the doorbell and puts on her Serious Business face.
>”Hello, ladies,” an older man with glasses says, inviting you in.
>In his carpeted living room, playing in front of the couch, are two alicorns.
>One is a very soft pink color, with a steely grey mane and tail and blue eyes.
>The other is electric blue with a yellow mane and tail, and orange eyes.
>This is the one that comes over and tugs on your long skirt, wings spread with curiosity.
>”Daddy, dis new fwiend wike say?”
>”That's right, her name is Lucy.  Er...it is Lucy, right?”
“Yes, that's right.”
>”Hi Wucy, fwuffy name is Wightnin'.  Dis bes' fwiend eva, Bewwy!”
>Berry waddles over and plops down, waving up at you.
>”Hi Wucy!”
“Wow, they know names...”
>Sarah nods a little, searching around in her bag.
>”You sure you don't want two whites?  I still have a pair,” the man asks.
>”I'm not paying you five thousand dollars for a test run, Walter.”
>”Just asking,” he says, raising his hands.
>”...is Wucy new mommy?” Lightning asks, looking between you and Sarah.  Then he walks over to her.  “Wha yo' name?”
>She smiles down at him.  “I'm Sarah.  Lucy is my sister.”
>Lightning wanders over and clings to Sarah's boots.  “Owwies, funny weggies huwt...”
>Berry can't find your legs under your skirt.
>She comes to the obvious conclusion.
>”Wucy no haf weggies!”
“Sure I do!”
>You lift your skirt just enough to show her your sandals.
>”Dere weggies.  Weggies hidin'!”
>How adorable!
>Sarah fishes out a stack of money and quickly counts it.  “All right, fifteen hundred for the pair.”
“Good lord...”
>”Only one in every three hundred thousand fluffies is an alicorn.  They're quite pricey.”
>Sarah has a very slight smile on her face as she picks up Lightning.
>You don't really listen to the conversation, you're watching Berry stack her blocks.
>You're snapped out of it when Walter hands you a small binder.
>”This is everything you should need to know about them.”
>You open it and skim the writing inside.
>Their favorite foods are listed, as are their favorite toys.
>Also, it says not to separate them, as they get very sad when apart.  They consider themselves a couple.
>Wait, what?  Alicorns pair bond?
>”Ready to go, Lucy?”
>”Bewwy miss daddy...”
>She's hugging Walter's legs.
>Lightning asks to be put down.  He waddles over and gets a little blue bag.
>After a few minutes, Berry waddles over to her blocks and puts them in a pink bag.
>Walter has to close it for her, but she carries it like Lightning afterwards.
>”Dis goo'bye baggie,” she frowns, speech muffled by the fabric handle.
>Walter gives them each another hug, causing them to drop their bags for a moment.
>”Be good for Lucy, okay?” he says.
>”Be good fwuffies,” Berry sniffles.
>”Are you sure they don't need to be in carriers?” Sarah asks.
>”They'll be fine.  If they need to do something, you'll know it.”
>More goodbyes are exchanged, and you're out the door following Sarah.
>Lightning and Berry waddle after you at top speed, carrying their little bags.
“They have luggage.  How much smarter are they than a regular fluffy?”
>”Pretty smart.”
>You set Berry into the back while Sarah puts Lightning in.
>After you've pulled out of the driveway, you start reading the binder text more closely.
>Berry likes to watch TV a lot.  Lightning loves coloring books.
>The more you read, the more awkward you start feeling.
“Sarah, these are like little kids.  I mean, even more so than regular fluffies.”
>”Babeh hoomans?” Lightning asks, looking around.
>”Well, they are supposed to be smarter.”
“I think they're a lot smarter...how am I supposed to explain to them that we're gonna, well, you know...”
>”Wha' Wucy talkin' 'bout?” Berry asks.
>You already know Sarah's answer before she says it, of course.
>”Don't explain it to them, just do it.”
“That's not fair.”
>”Look, they've been bred before.  They should know the drill.  If anything, they should be a lot easier to deal with than my stock.”
>”Make fun huggies...make babehs?” Lightning asks.
>”That's right, make babies.”
>”B-b-b-b-bu' babehs a'ways go 'way, wuv babehs...pwease no take babehs 'gain...”
>Berry is sniffling hard.  Lightning scoots over and hugs her tight.
>You frown, but decide not to test Sarah any further.
>You go back to reading the binder.  The last few pages are litter information for the pair.
>There's nothing unusual, at least when it comes to the descriptions of the litters themselves.
>The notes about what happened after make your stomach twist.
>”April 12: Berry gave birth to four, two males and two females,” the first entry says.
>”Foals (purple, blue males, and orange, pink females) were all healthy.
>”May 7:  Berry's foals sold off.  Berry attempted first to chase the buyer, then jump in his car.”
>”When she failed to get her babies back, attempted to drown herself in her water bowl.”
>You almost drop the binder when you read that.
“Sarah, she tried to kill herself when...”
>”No kiww!” both alicorns gasp.
>Damn it, you have to be even more careful around them than normal fluffies.
>”No one is going to kill you,” Sarah groans, rolling her eyes.
>Berry gulps loudly.  ”Nice hoomans, pwease no huwt fwuffy fwiends...”
>”Do you still have that stun gun?”
“Um...yes, I think so.  Why?”
>She glances over at you knowingly.
>You have never reset a fluffy pony before, even when you probably should have.
>It bothers you, the idea that a living creature can be so easily programmed.
>Berry sniffles behind you, the noise muffled by Lightning's fluff.
>”Miss babehs...no kiww...”
>You may not have a choice, if you're going to go through with this.
>So much for no regrets.