>Afternoon of day five. >It's still drizzling as you return to the island. >At first, they want to know where their friend has gone. >”Hooman take fwiend!  Where fwiend go?!” the silver unicorn asks. >You attempt to explain what you've done, but they all hide from you anyway. >”No wan' go poofy-bye!” the yellow earth fluffy cries. >You decide the only way to solve this problem is tell the truth. >You explain that you took the orange fluffy to a land full of spaghetti. >motherofgod.jpg >The fluffies run over to you as fast as their stubby legs will carry them. >”We wan' go sgetti-wand!  We wan' go!” the earth fluffies cry. >Well, that was easy. >Now there's a different issue. >You want them to go into the crate. >They don't. >You discover that herding fluffy ponies is like trying to teach nuclear physics to a goldfish. >If they're not hugging your legs, they're bouncing around shrieking 'pway wif hooman!' or 'pick fwuffy!' or 'wan' sgettis!' >You decide to simplify matters. >After fighting your way to the wooden crate, you tip it upright again. >Then you begin picking them up and setting them into it. >”No sowwy-bocks!” the red pegasus screams. >”Fwuffy sowwy!  No put fwuffy in dawk pwace!” the purple earth fluffy wails. “Calm down, the box won't hurt you.” >They don't buy it.  Soon, you have a wooden crate full of crying fluffies. >”Pwease wet out, fwuffy be good!” they beg. >You realize you have another problem. >This box is too damn big to carry by yourself. >And even if you could get it to the shore, it's not going to fit in your car. >You hear buzzing and look down into the crate. >The pegasus fluffies are trying to fly, but they only get about three inches off the bottom. >”Wet out!  Wet out!  Fwuffy wan' pway outside!” the green one yells. >You take a minute to consider your options. >Since the crate has gaps between the planks, it won't fill with water. >They won't drown.  Theoretically. >They also won't get themselves hurt by running around. >Figuring you've bought yourself some time, you go inside to call your friend for help. >He's got a truck, too, which is a bonus. >You depart the island, trying to ignore the fluffy cries.   >In the crate, simplistically articulated accusations are starting to fly. >”You make hooman weave!” the silver unicorn sniffles. >The two pegasus fluffies are indignant.  At least, they're as indignant as something with an IQ of 12 can be.  ”No, I good fwuffy!  Good fwuffy no make hooman go poofy-bye!” >”You twy fwy outta sowwy-bocks!” the blue earth fluffy says. >”Sowwy-bocks bad!  Fwuffy wan' pway!  Fwuffy is good fwuffy!” >They don't notice the yellow earth fluffy in the corner by herself, shaking furiously. >They do notice the smell soon after. >”No smell pwetty!” the green pegasus gasps.  “Fwuffy make poopies in sowwy-bocks!” >Outright panic sets in.  The yellow earth fluffy sobs, while the others all shove themselves in the farthest corner. >”Fwuffy bad!  Fwuffy make bad poopies!” >”Had to!  Fwuffy tummy hurted!” >”You no s'pose make poopies in sowwy-bocks!” >She is freaking out at this point. >”No wan' sowwy-stick!  No wan'!  Fwuffy sowwy make bad poopies!” >The red pegasus loses her mind when she hears 'sowwy-stick'. >”We all gon' get sowwy-stick!  We all be in twouble!” >The fluffies begin screaming to nobody in particular about how sorry and good they are. >This keeps going until you return with your friend and look in the crate. “What are you yelling about?” >They bawl loudly and scream apologies, crowded so tightly into the corner that the yellow fluffy is forced to the center. >”Move!  Wet in!  Wet in!  Fwuffy no wan' be awone!  Fwuffy not bad fwuffy!  Fwuffy had make poopies!” she cries. >You see the problem and sigh. >Your friend is just snickering. >You have to ask, even though you know the answer. “Who shit in the crate?” >The yellow earth fluffy experiences an entirely new level of fear. >She's so afraid, she lies down and hyperventilates. >She tries to cover her head with her stubby forelegs, hiccuping a broken series of 'sowwy' all the while. >When you reach down toward her, she screams and begins to piss herself. >In reaction, the fluffy ponies huddled together begin shitting everywhere. >They apologize for this even as they do it, crying and begging for forgiveness. >This begins a cycle of defecation and remorse that causes your friend to laugh loudly. >teee-fucking-riffic.mov >You now have a crate full of crying, shit-covered fluffies. >The yellow one is still pissing herself and shaking. >They all implore you to not injure them. “This is just fucking great.” >Your tone sends the fluffies into a new round of terror. >In desperation, they blame the shit, running around and sobbing as they scold their feces for betraying them. >They reaffirm that they are good fluffies.  They are sorry fluffies. >Your friend gasps for air as he laughs. “Well, you're not going to spaghetti land now.” >They lean up on the side, begging for mercy. >”Sowwy!  Pwease wuv fwuffies!  Pwease go sgetti-wand!  Pwease no sowwy-stick!” >The smell is unlike anything you have ever encountered. >Not even Snowflake's shit stunk like this. >It's like they have some sort of ability to enhance the stink if they're afraid. >Perhaps it's evolution's attempt to give them some sort of deterrent against predators. >Maybe it was a practical joke between gene scientists at the lab. >You glare down at them, annoyed, as they try to climb out and hug you. >Hugs fix everything. “No.  Stay in there while I figure out what to do with you.” >They take that to mean 'sowwy-stick'. >Once again, they shit themselves in self-defense. >Big.  Fucking.  Sigh. >Your friend looks in the crate while you walk away to think. >”Hey, why's this one not moving?” >”Fwiend?  Fwiend?  We sowwy cawl you bad fwuffy!” they all hug the motionless one.  “Pwease hug!” >It's hard to tell, but finally, you see some yellow through all that brown. >The yellow earth fluffy scared, pissed, and shat herself to death. “Let her be.” >You telling them not to hug her confuses them. >”Why?  Fwuffies wuz mean to yewwa fwuffy, wan' make betta!” “You can't make her better.  Just sit in the corner, please.” >They reluctantly agree, still babbling about how sorry and good they are and not meaning to hug even though hugs fix everything. >There's no point in explaining this to them. >Your friend isn't laughing anymore as you send him into your house for gloves. >The six shitty, fluffy ponies are now five.