>You are George Costanza.
>Unemployed, and living with your parents.
>Plans never go your way.
>It’s gotten you down in life.
>You’ve resorted to 4chan.
>Not just the website, oh no.
>A building in New York is dedicated to it.
>It’s large, and it’s following is larger.
>Unsurprisingly, Kramer was a part of this following.
>Specifically /mlp/.
>He talked you into visiting the building, with promises of great artwork and stories.
>Driving down the street, you see it.
>A glass statue of a 4-leaf clover, and a sign that reads “4chan”.
>You’re here.
>Pulling into the parking lot, you discover that the place is packed.
>It could have fit thousands of cars.
>And it did.
>You park quite a ways from the building.
 
>The only time you’ve felt worse was the Summer of George.
>Heaving, you finally enter the building.
>”Welcome to 4chan, Name or Anonymous?”
>Looking over to the reception desk, you see a man.
>The nameplate on the desk says “Moot”.
“George Costanza, sir.”
>He types into his computer for moment, and something prints out.
>”Here you go, George.”
>He hands you a small slip of paper along with a clip.
“Yeah… thanks.”
>You enter a room 63 doors, all leading somewhere different.
>You start from the left.
“Anime & Manga, Pokemon, Retro games..”
>Might pop in there later.
“Sports, Oekaki, Worksafe gif…”
>What does that mean?
“Sexy, beautiful women?”
>Definitely go in there later.
“Ah, here we go.”
>Found it.
>Pony, or /mlp/.
>Kramer better be right about this.
>Entering /mlp/, there are even more doors.
>About 149.
>As you walk down the hallway, many green skinned, faceless men open their doors to look at you.
>Many of them mutter “Please don’t do this.”
>That’s weird.
>On each door is a whiteboard with writing.
>One reads “Ah, finally, it's working” along with a lot more text.
>Along with it is a picture of a pony at a computer.
>This may be a good place to start.
>You enter, and a barrage of “Yes” attacks your ears.
>That’s really loud.
>The room is large.
>A round table, large enough to fit many people, is in the middle of the room.
>The people in the room include, various green men, a zombie pony, a mint green unicorn, and a cream colored pony.
>As it turns out, the room has a popcorn maker.
>So you take some, and take your seat.
>You begin to eat as an argument breaks out between the Mint and Cream.
>This is not too bad.
 
>The fight ends when Cream leaves the room.
>In an attempt to make yourself known, you try to say hi.
“Hello, there.”
>The little green unicorn gets really excited.
>”HUMAN, AND YOU LOOK OLD, can we wash you?”
>She gives a big smile to you.
>You should have kept your mouth shut.
“Sure, Mint.”
>You give her a look reading “I hope you don’t do this”.
>”My name’s Lyra, not mint.”
>You should have guessed.
“Sorry, uh, Lyra. How about that wash?”
>You were kidding, but she was dead serious.
>She pulls out a fire extinguisher from…
>Somewhere.
>You’d rather not find out.
>”Here’s my special soap sprayer.”
>This will be an interesting story to tell Jerry.
>Lyra proceeds to spray you with her “soap sprayer”.
>It does smell and feel like soap, you’ll give her that.
>After a few seconds, she stops.
>You are absolutely soaked.
>Feeling clean doesn’t dismiss this fact.
“Gee, thanks. I feel nice.”
>Lyra smiles back at you
>Guess she doesn’t get sarcasm.
>There has to be a perk to this somewhere.
>She comes from a magical world, right?
>What if she can take you with her?
“Can I explore your little rainbow land?”
>You cringe.
>Shouldn’t have said it like that.
>She’s going to say no, you just know it.
>Someone says Vinylstiguisher is best fire extinguisher.
>Instead, she puts a hoof to her chin.
>”Ermmm.. We have a few things... a lake, mirror pool, ancient castles, a bathou- err I mean spa.
>She then glares at the Vinyl guy and says”Oh hell no.”
>Thinking about it, a spa would be nice.
“Take me to the spa.”
>”Sure thing. Aloe and Lotus are muh hos.
>A purple suit, hat, and cane pop out of nowhere onto her as she begins a small dance.
>As this happens someone transforms into a toy transforming.
>And an Green guy puts a finger in your face whilst saying…
>”Fingers can get hurt by things such as bats.”
>These people might need more help than you.
“Oh, okay, nevermind. Can I see one of those castles of yours?”
>”The prince destroyed them 10 seconds from now.”
>What?
>Don’t question it George.
>A few green guys went to hug a pony you didn’t notice in the room.
>And some get a bit sad, or “feels” as 4chan called it.
>A small yellow pegasus enters the room.
>”Y-you guys a-are a creepy b-b-bunch.”
>A quick look at the door tells you that a window has been there the entire time.
>She must have seen quite a lot in this room for her to say that.