>Day 172 in Equestria
Ugh...
>You groan softly, prying your face off the pillow
Fuh- Fucking...
>Shaking your fist at the small rays of sunlight sneaking through your curtains, you swing your legs over the edge of the bed..
>And immediately slip on a small mat
MOTHERRRRFUCKERRRRRRRRRR!
>Slide straight into the open closet
>*POMF*
>The frantic sound of clothes rustling and junk clattering emanates from the closet as you pull yourself free
>Pulling yourself upright shakily, you give the crumpled mat a nasty stare
>You turn back to the closet to grab some clothes for the day
>Nothing
Where the fuck? FLUTTER- Oh.
>You're wearing them. Somehow.
Fucking pony world physics...
>Commence the daily rituals
>Shit. Shower. Shave. Bowl of Applejacks. Attempt to masturbate without any visual aids.
>The last one is ruined by the daily arrival of the Yellow Autist
>Open the door
>Get on the floor
>Everybody do the Festishsaur
>No. Really. Fluttershy is stood at the door wearing a damn dinosaur costume.
Why are you dressed like a Jurassic Park reject?
>"O-oh... are Long Extinct Creatures you fetish?"
Nope.
>"D-darn... W-well, I'm not leav-"
>She noticed your boner.
>She's just staring at it, a long line of drool running down one side of her face.
Heh, gross.
>"I-is that for me?"
No, Fluttershy. It is not for you. You just happened to interrupt me during my daily 'Try to fap without a visual aid' session.
>"Oh... W-well, I c-could help with that!"
>She wiggles her flank in an attempt to appear alluring.
>"I could b-be your visual aid, A-anon.."
Nah, I'm gonna go see if I can find me a Pony-hustler, or Playpony or whatever freaky porno mag you little sugarpuffs jack it to.
>Pushing her out of the way, you head off into town, whistling and doing your best impression of a Nazi goosestep.
>Other ponies start following you, copying your walk, and singing along.
 
>....
 
>You made the ponies sing an hour long song about Nazis, all whilst goose stepping the whole way.
>These fuckin' ponies man.
>You walk into Sugarcube Corner, your spinal cord having trouble keeping the top half of your body upright.
>You lost your sides somewhere in the first ten minutes of Die Ponien Song.
>Dinging the service bell, you look around for the pink menace.
>No Pinkie. Unusual. Unless..
>*Shuffle*
>You duck, and a long-range projectile crocodile soars over your head, suction-cupping himself to the fridge in back.
>"Darn! One day.."
>The pink pony pops up from behind the counter, and grins at you.
>"Sooo... Anon. A little birdy told me you were having a little party all by yourself this morning..."
>She wiggles her eyebrows.
Party? I don't- wait. You don't mean...
>She leans in close and whispers into your ear
>"Yep. A hand-party!"
>How the fuck did she know?
How the fuck do you know? Okay, yeah, fine. But it ain't easy without something to look at, if you know what I mean..
>"Silly anon! Why don't you just let Fluttershy help you with that!"
Lol no. She smells like animal crap and shame.
>"Weeelllll..."
>She pulls a big cardboard box from behind the counter.
>"Why don't you borrow some of MY special tapes! These always start my parties off!"
>You grin as a mental image of Pinkie mashing her cunt and squirting confetti runs through your head.
>Pinkie runs through a list of porno names.
>"Bon-Boned, Praise the Sun, Frosting the Cake-"
>Mr.Cake grabs the last tape out of Pinkie's hand, and disappears upstairs, his face red.
>Pinkie shrugs and continues.
>"Playing Octavia, Spit-roasting Spitfire-"
Jesus Christ! Has everypony in this town done a porno?
>Pinkie giggles.
>"No, silly! I haven't! But..."
>She traces a hoof downwards towards her crotch..
>"We could make one."
Haha, no. Lemme borrow one of those fap-aids.
>You grab a random tape and tip the fuck out of this joint.
>"Enjoy!"
>You glance over your shoulder at the pink pone.
>Yeah, your refusal to fuck didn't even faze her.
>Why does everypony in this goddamn town want to jump your bones?
>Oh. Right. You're sexy.
>You press a finger to your thigh and make a hiss sound.
I'm a sexy motherfucker!
>"Damn straight."
What? Oh, Rainbow Dash. You gonna try and boff me too?
>"You know me so well."
Yeah, well I ain't having none of that shit. See this?
>You wield the tape, shoving it into her face.
I got me some major-league snake taming to do!
>"I knew you wanted to rut me! Go ahead!"
>She thrusts her flank in your face.
Are you retarded or something?
>The blue pony stares at you blankly.
>"No, anon. Are YOU retarded? Take a look at that tape's label."
>You do so, and read the name outloud.
"Taste the Rainbow Dash"... This is what I think it is, isn't it?
>Wearing the biggest shit-eating grin ever, Dash leans in.
>"Yep. Over 3 hours of Me and Scootaloo... Enjoy!"
What? Did you say "Scootaloo"? Isn't that Filly-fooling?
>"Yep. Technically illegal, but..."
>She leans in and whispers..
>"I won't tell if you won't."
>She winks.
Nope.
>"What?"
Nope.
>You snap the tape over your knee.
Can't handle this shit today!
>You slide downwards, disappearing into a thin crack in the path.
>You reappear in your house, sliding out from the fridge.
>How you did it, you have no idea, but the Nope is strong in you.
>"A-anon? Where did you go, bro?"
>A confused Rainbow Dash stares into the crack you disappeared down.
>You stare back, looking into the slightly-ajar fridge door.
>Pony world physics are strange, for the second time today.
>You motion with your finger on your lips, and whisper into the fridge.
Ssshh.. No one will believe you.
>A confused "What?" emanates from inside the fridge.
>It's been a strange kinda day.
>It's been a "Still haven't managed to jack-it" kinda day too.
WHY?! ALL I WANT IS SOME GODDAMN PORNO MAGS!?
>Then, as if by magic, a Twilight appeared.
>"Anon. Take this."
>She hands you a greasy-looking magazine.
"Equestrian Filth: The magazine for colts with no shame."
>The cover has a picture of Rarity, spread-eagle, sucking a large banana and using one hoof to spread her marehood.
Eh, good enough.. Now get the fuck out of my house, you purple autisti-
>Bitch be gone.
Whatevs.
>You flip through the filth rag, dick in hand.
>Not surprisingly, the magazine is filled with lewd pictures of most of the mane 6.
>Rarity is on page 2, showcasing her new line of bondage gear, and her cunt. Filthy posh bitch.
>Page 4 has Pinkie Pie doing extremely uncomfortable things with balloons.
>Twilight Sparkle has a softcore photo on the next page. Tame shit, dressed up as a librarian.
Fucking nerd, too shy to show her horse slice..
>You frown as you read the little subtitle under the picture.
>"This one's for you, Anon!"
>Bastard.
Welp, time to play me some flesh music!
>Fap it.
>Fap it some more.
>Beat your dick like it owes you money.
OH YEAH! THAT'S THE STUFF!
>Getting. Real. Close.
HNNG! GONNA!
>You go over the edge, dick pulsating as ribbons of cum shoot from your cock.
>They fly through the air.
>And land on a little yellow filly.
>Wait, what?
APPLEBLOOM?!
>The confused filly looks up at you, tears in her eyes. Well, eye, because the other one is covered in jizz.
>"Why, Mr. Ahnon? Why?"
HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN GET IN HERE?
>Before the cum-covered filly can respond, the door is kicked off it's hinges.
>A pissed-looking Applejack stands in the doorway, her eyes burning into you.
Woah now, AJ! This isn't what it looks like!
>"Oh? And what is this supposed to look like?"
>Oh crap.
>"Looks to me like you're a goshdarned Filly-fiddler!"
>The orange pony is right in your face.
>"Now... Ah could just turn y'all in.. But.."
>A devious look crosses the earth pony's face, and a slight grin appears.
>"Y'all could.. do something for me."
Sure! I'll work all day! As long as you want!
>A warm hoof touches your dick, rubbing the head softly.
>"Now, hush y'all. I didn't mean it like that.."
Oh.
>You look past Applejack's seductive gaze and notice Applebloom grinning.
>Her tongue snakes out of her small mouth and licks up some of the jizz covering her face.
>She winks at you.
>Bitches planned this all along.
You planned this all along, didn't you, AJ.
>"Aw, now don't be sore! But this way, y'all had to give us what we wanted, or..."
Prison rape?
>"Yep, an' Big Mac's ah parttime warden."
>Nope.
Nope.
>"Yup."
>You spend the rest of the day getting raped by Applejack and Applebloom.
 
>"See y'all tomorrow, anon!"
>The two devious sisters exit your house, leaving you huddled in a fetal-position on the floor with a red raw dick.
Muh dick..
>Then you hear something that stops your heart.
>"Oh look, girls! Looks like Anon does need our help!"
>Look up.
>The rest of the Mane 6 are walking in, all bearing hungry looks, and doing lewd gestures with their hoofs.
F-farewell, penis. It was nice knowing you.
>You hear a small "Nnnoooo.." from your pants.
>Get raped again.
>Doesn't matter, had sex.