>”Barb. The name is BARB, Anon.”
>You shrug, removing the remains of some books from a damaged bookshelf.
“That’s what I said. Barbara.”
>You toss the marred books into a large bin.
>The little dragoness facepalms.
“Isn’t that what Twilight calls you?”
>”Well… yeah! But I don’t-“
“Then that’s what I’LL call you.”
>She stutters more, unable to respond.
>You toss more books into the bin with a bit of frustration.
>Barb scratches her head.
 
>This little dragon wasn’t your favorite character around.
>In fact, you only dealt with her because Twilight insisted.
>Barb was overtly clingly, talkative, and… well the fact that she was a dragon made you uncomfortable.
>The ponies were easy to get used to.
>But Barb was a mythical creature that could, in essence, end you at any moment.
>You ain’t down with that, yo.
 
“Tsk. All ruined….”
>You toss a bunch of books into the bin, causing Barb to yell and jump into the ladder you were standing on.
>The ladder wobbles, but you manage to hold on to the shelf.
>Barb panics and tries to steady the ladder.
“Damn, Barb! Watch it!”
>With a bit of joint effort, the two of you are able to straighten the ladder out.
>You wipe the sweat off your brow.
>”Whew! That was a close one, huh Anon?”
>Barb leans against the ladder in an attempt to look cool.
“ARGH!”
 
>The ladder gives in and gravity does the rest.
>You fall and crash into the bin with the rest of the books.
>”Oh no! Anon!!”
>Barb rushes over to your aid and tries to dig you out.
“No! Stop, Barb! I’m fine! Argh….”
>You pull yourself out of the bin and land on the ground with a thud.
>You see Barb suppress a laugh.
>”Are you… heh… are you alright, buddy?”
>She smiles at you trying to help you up.
 
>You push her away and glare at her.
“I could have been seriously hurt, dammit!”
>Barb shrugs.
>”Hey! At least you got my name right! Hehe!”
>You throw your hands up in frustration.
“That’s it! I’m done for today! Tell Twilight I’ll finish cleaning up this library tomorrow.”
>You storm out of the ruined Library, leaving Barb behind.
>”B-but Anon! We have to-“
>You slam the already broken door behind you, causing it to break off of it’s hinges.”
 
>You shout in anger as you stomp back to your cottage.
>Every day it was the same thing.
>You try to do work for Twilight Sparkle.
>She gives you somewhat simple work.
>Then she decides to make Barb tag along with you.
>Much to your displeasure.
>You try to start working.
>?????
>And you always end up falling from some tree, sbuilding, or… damn ladder.
>EVERY. TIME.
>It never fails.
>Either Barb is a major klutz, or she is extremely unlucky.
>Or maybe both.
>Whatever the reason, you need a break from Barb, ponies, Ponyville, everything!
>Going home for the rest of the day would be a nice start.
 
>You see your cottage in the distance.
>Home sweet fucking home.
>Just as you start to calm down, you begin to hear footsteps behind you.
>You groan loudly, not even turning around.
>You already know who it is.
>Your unlucky charm.
“BARB! I told you I’m-“
 
>You turn around to an angry Twilight Sparkle.
“Oops. Hi, Twi! What brings you ‘round these-“
>”Zip it, Anon!”
>Twilight glares at you, her face flushed.
>”I just went got back from the Library. I decided to check on you and Barb, and what do I find?”
>You scratch your chin.
“A messed up Library?”
>Twilight moves closer to you, getting more annoyed.
 
>”No, Anon! Barb was sitting in the middle of the floor crying her little eyes out!”
>Of course she was.
>You put your arms up.
“That’s not my fault! She made me bust my ass and-“
>”I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, ANON!”
>You cower a bit.
>Damn, Twilight was intimidating when she was angry.
>”It’s not an excuse to make her cry! She was just trying to help!”
>You grumble under your breath.
“Like she always does.”
 
>Twilight groans.
>”I don’t feel like trying to scold you, Anon! It’s a waste of both of our times. But you really hurt her feelings!”
>You shake your head angrily.
“It’s not MY FAULT that she is a damn klutz and always gets in the damn way!”
>Twilight opens her mouth to retort, but she quickly shuts it.
>”Look. I would really appreciate it if you went and apologized to her. That’s it.”
>She turns away.
>”And if you don’t, don’t bother coming by for work anymore.”
>You open your mouth to defend yourself, but it was too late.
>Twilight teleports away.
>End of discussion.
>You stomp the ground in anger.
“FUCK, man!”
 
>You walk briskly back to the ruined Library.
>This is bullshit.
>Twilight blackmailing you to apologize to Barb.
>It wasn’t YOUR fault Barb is an unlucky nuisance.
>It wasn’t YOUR fault you almost fucked yourself up earlier.
>It’s never YOU fault.
>But NO!!
>Barb has to just cry, and everyone is on her side.
>Bullshit.
 
>You reach the Library once more.
>You take a few deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down.
>No need to get angry at Barb again.
>Just apologize and leave, Anon.
>That’s it.
>Apologize.
>And-
>You hear sniffles coming from inside.
 
>You walk over to one of the few intact window and peer through it.
>Barb sits on an old chair, her eyes watery.
>She looks quite saddened….
>Her ear fins drooped; she sniffles and shakes her head.
>Twilight stands next to her, trying to console her.
>”Barbara… he didn’t mean to snap at you. He was just… a bit upset, is all.”
>The little dragoness shakes her head, rubbing a tear from her face.
>”He… he must think I’m such a loser….”
>Can’t disagree with that one.
>Twilight pats her back.
>”No, Barbara. Don’t talk like that. He likes you, I promise!”
>Don’t lie, Twilight! Damn!
>Barb buries her face into her claws, her cries intensifying.
>”Twilight! *sniff* I know he… *sniff* I know that he d-doesn’t like me! Waaaah!!!”
 
>Twilight wraps a hoof around her.
>”Barbara… it’s ok, honey….”
>Twilight looks out the window and glares at you.
>What the fuck?
>Damn magical pony.
>”Barb, look… I think Anon will come back soon and apologize, ok? Just try to cheer up?”
>She sniffles and nods.
>”You think… *sniff* you think he would come b-back after what I did to him?”
>She glares at you again.
>You stick a tongue out to her.
 
>”Yes. I promise you he must feel guilty about this whole thing.”
>Twilight pats her back.
>”I’m going to go meet Applejack real fast. I’ll be back soon, alright?”
>Barb sniffles and nods.
>”Alright, Twi….”
>Twilight glares at you once more.
>She grits her teeth at you.
>You put your hands up.
>You mouth the words ‘Fine!’ to her.
>Twilight exits the Library, leaving Barb on the chair by herself.
 
>You shake your head.
>You look at Barb.
>She… does look kind of sad.
>Heartbroken, even.
>Damn, man. Fuck!
>You rub your eyes.
>Alright, Anon.
>Just apologize.
>Offer to get her an ice cream or something.
>Then, try to avoid her when possible.
>Good plan.
 
>You take another deep breath and head to the entrance.
>You raise your hand to knock on the broken door.
>Wait, why would you knock?
>You push the busted door aside and enter the Library.
>Barb doesn’t notice you enter.
>She continues to sniffle as you approach her.
>You grumble.
“… hello, Barb….”
>She lifts her head.
>”A-Anon! H-hey!”
>Her ear fins return to normal, and her cheeks redden at the sight of you.
 
>You give Barb a quick wave before putting your hands into your pockets.
“You uh… alright there, Barb?”
>She sniffles and wipes tears from her cheeks.
>”I…! Um….”
>She slowly puts her head down, avoiding your eyes.
>You see her bottom lip tremble.
>Dammit.
>You can’t handle her crying anymore.
>It’s breaking your heart.
>Well… at least it’s trying to.
 
>”I’m… I guess I’m feeling sick, heh! Must be allergies or something… *sniff* got me… crying and stuff…. *sniff*”
>She coughs a bit and wipes a bit of snot from her nose.
>You raise an eyebrow at her.
“Barb, you don’t have allergies. You’re a dragon.”
>”Uhh… well… y-you know, maybe I’m special! Haha…!”
>You knew she was lying.
>You couldn’t help but tease the little dear.
“You sure you’re okay?”
>She nods, her ear fins flapping.
>”N-never better!”
>Her eyes nervously begin to shake.
 
>Barb must be too ashamed to tell you the truth.
>That you upset her by blowing up earlier.
>She blinks a few times, still avoiding your eyes.
>It really wasn’t her fault.
>She was just trying to help you….
>Dammit, Barb!
>You kneel down next to her.
>Her eyes look into yours, her brilliant green irises shrouded by a faint redness from her tears.
>You put a hand on her shoulder, causing her to blush again.
>”A-Anon!”
>She begins to laugh nervously.
>You clear your throat.
>Engage preset apology 6B.
“Hey, listen. I’m sorry about earlier, okay? I was a royal asshat, and I didn’t mean to upset you.”
>You cough.
>Barb’s eyes don’t wander from yours.
>Almost as if they want to hear more.
>DAMMIT, BARB.
“And… I don’t want you to think that I dislike you or something….”
>She blinks again, her slightly chubby cheeks still red.
“And… I guess I’d like to treat you to ice cream as my way of apologizing.”
>Barb smiles widely at you.
>”Do… do ya mean that, Anon?”
 
>You groan.
“Barb, look I-“
>She tackles you to the ground, squeeing happily.
>You feel the breath knocked out of your lungs.
>Damn, she is a strong dragon.
 
>”Oh, Anon! You like me! You *sniff* really like me!”
>You try to wrestle Barb away.
“Barb! Ugh…! S-stop!”
>She doesn’t listen, and instead continues to hug you tightly.
>”And you want to eat ice cream with me!”
>You try and push her off to no avail.
>Her grip on you is menacing.
>Fuck.
>All you wanted to do was apologize and bail.
>Now you’ve been glomped and overpowered by a cute dragoness.
>….
>Cute?
“Oh, hell nah! Barb!”
 
>The two of you roll around on the floor.
>”I can’t wait to get ice cream with you! Omigosh! It’ll be so much fun!”
>Her energy feels dangerously like that of a certain pink pony you despise.
>Your breathing becomes a bit more strained.
>You helplessly try to fight back, being overpowered by her happiness.
>You decide to give up, for the sake of your own health.
>Hoping that she would ease up.
 
“Barb.. you win…. Geroff me….”
>You tap her back, signaling your loss.
>”Oh? Oopsie! Sorry about that, Anon. Heh….”
>Barb lets up, letting you catch your breath.
>You cough, trying to regain your composure.
 
>She rubs your back gently.
>”You alright there, buddy?”
>You cough loudly.
“Yeah… just… *cough*”
>She gives you another tight hug, cutting your breathing off again.
>”Oh, Anon! I’m just so happy that-“
>You push her away angrily, clenching your throat.
“Damn, Barb…. *cough cough* what the hell is-“
>You stop yourself as you see her give you puppy dog eyes.
>Except they are more effective for some reason.
“What… the hell… is your favorite kind of ice cream?”
 
>Barb kneels next to you, her tail wagging.
>“Mint! It’s always been my favorite! Though I try not to eat it too often….”
>You rub your head.
>You like mint, too….
>You can’t let her know that though.
>Lest she tackle you into cuteness submission.
>….
>There’s that word again.
 
>Barb squees happily.
>”Oh, Anon! I’m so excited!”
>You give her a weak smile, trying to keep her off you.
“M-me too….”
>You try to get up from the ground.
“Alright, Barb. Well… I’m happy that everything is fine now, so I’ll just be on-“
>Barb wraps her stubby arms around you, keeping you down.
>”So when are we going on our date, Anon?”
 
>You push her away, laughing nervously.
“Date? Hahaha, oh no. Barb, this is no date.”
>She stands up quickly, her face a deep shade of red.
>”D-date? Did I s-s-say that? No, no, no! I d-didn’t mean….”
>She laughs nervously and clicks her claws.
>Well, THAT seems oddly familiar.
 
>You quickly get up before she can pin you again.
>You wipe down your trademark suit.
>”I meant to say… our… hang out sesh?”
>She laughs, trying to hide her red face.
>Her tail still wagging in a cu-
>UGH.
>NOT CUTE.
>You groan and rub your face.
>”Anon, do you think we could get some ice cream tonight?”
 
>Tonight?
>No way.
>You were meeting Rainbow for a session of cards.
>You open your mouth to turn her down.
>But her puppy dog eyes stop you again.
>They instantly twist your heart, causing you to nod.
>Great.
>Now Barb can control your body.
>This is worse than The Stare.
 
>You internally groan.
“S-sure, we can go tonight, Barb.”
>Barb jumps up and down, clapping her claws.
>”Oh, great! Omigosh, this is so exciting!”
>You see a bit of green flame escape her snout.
>You forgot that she could do that.
>She wraps her arms around your waist.
>She nuzzles your thigh affectionately.
>”I can’t wait, Anon! I just can’t!”
>You gently push her away, rubbing your suit down again.
“Welp, you have to ‘cause I need to go home and shower.”
 
>”Meet you at Sugarcube Corner later then, Anon?”
>You nod.
“Yup, it’s a date.”
>OH FUCK.
>You are tackled to the ground once more by an overly excited Barb.
>She squees happily.
>"Oh, Anon!!"
>This was going to be a rough and long night.
>At least you’d get some of your favorite ice cream.
 
~