>No one counts how many days they have been on Earth
>You are Anon
>You just ended a great relationship
>Or so you thought
>Bitch cheated on you
>Broke you heart
>You had been dating her for 8 months
>You felt something, and she threw it away
>Whatever
>You're taking a walk through the woods
>Walking helps clear the mind or some shit like that
>It's a nice night out
>It's also fall so the leaves crunch under your feet
>The full moon lights your way
>You can see a lot of stars
>But one catches your attention
>It's a bright one
>Like really fucking bright
>Suddenly you think of the song "When You Wish Upon A Star"
>Isn't that song for kids
>Wishes never come true anyways
>A voice in the back of your head yells something about a plot device and to go fuck yourself
>Fuck it
I want to meet a girl who will always love me, and never will leave me
Or world peace, whatever works with you
>God this is the worst plot device ever
>You head home
>Look at the picture of you and your Ex
>You both look so happy
>You're holding a stuffed animal and she is hold a basket ball
>Yes, SHE won YOU a stuffed animal at an arcade
>You have something for the crazy chicks
>Whatevs dawg
>Realize you're really tired.
>Go to room
>Strip into boxers
>Fall asleep
 
>Wake up
>Sit up in bed
>Look next to you
>No one sharing the bed
>thatfeel.jpg
Guess that star didn't work
>Fucking Disney with their fake songs n shiz
>Morning routine
>Eat a shit breakfast
>This whole day is going to be shit isn't it
>Head outside to run errands
>First things first
>Coffee
>You need Coffee
>Head out towards coffee shop
>While walking you notice something
>There are a lot of moving trucks
>Like, a whole freaking lot
>When was the library a tree house?
>Meh, the town is always doing stupid stuff
>You didn't vote for this dumb Mayor Mare anyway.
>Some fucking democracy this is
>More like we are ruled by some queen or princess or something stupid
>Coffee shop
>Smells good
>Get large coffee
>Go run more errands
>Realize you need socks
>Only place in town open is some boutique
>Maybe they have socks
>The lady had some odd blue/purple hair thing going on
>Said it was dumb to waste her time getting you socks
>Most expensive socks you ever bought
>Why did you buy these socks
>Pick up books at dumb new tree house library
>The librarian was too busy to help you
>Had to be helped by some kid in a dragon hoodie
>Kids pretty cool though
>Then you realize it's lunch time
>You think about what you want to eat
>You want something with sugar in it
>Walk around town looking for a bakery
>Find one
>looks like a loving mother gingerbread house
>You read a nearby sign
> SUGAR CUBE CORNER
> NOW OPEN
>Well you smelled baked good so what the heck
>Open door and walk in
>Everything smells great
>Walk up to counter
>See no one
>Look over counter
>See someone's ass
>Hopefully it's a chick, cause your dick is already giving you some nasty thoughts
>They are looking through some stuff one of the drawers
*Cough* Uh, hello
>In a flash, she spins around and is now facing you
>"Oh hi! I didn't hear you enter, I'm Pinkie Pie, I work here. Well, I guess you could tell that already, anyway I'm going to take your order and WWWWWHHHHHHOOOOAAAAAAA....... I've never seen you before."
>whatthefuckisgoingon.jpg
>She talked so god damn fast
>And the pink
>SO MUCH PINK
>Pink curly hair and shit
>Wait.... Pinkie Pie
>Like the, cartoon.
>Like, My Little Pony Pinkie Pie
>Fucking Wishing apon a star
>Everything made sense now
>Well except that no one was a pony
>"Hey, crazy guy! I said I've never seen you before, you going to respond?"
Oh, uh yeah....
>Sure, you only lived here a year but...... wait
>A year?
>A year and you never noticed a bakery
>Or that the library was a treehouse
>Or that everything felt magical............
>Oh dear bucking Celestia
Uhhhhhhhhhh.....
>Quick, come up with something
I'm..... New here?
>Oh cool, yeah, no really, not suspicious at all.
>no really
>"New? Well now I have to throw you a PARTY!"
>The emphasis on the word party was a bit scary, but you knew what was going on.
Uhhh, cool a party.
>"Yeah, meet me and everyone in ponyville here in an hour."
>Cool, yeah, an hour.
>Run out of Sugar Cube Corner
>Run home
>Run in house
>Everything seems normal
>But feels off
>Stop and think, it's fine, you lived here your whole life
> Fortunently, you weren't teleported to the pony world, they were teleported to you.
>At least no yellow pony will try to rape you
>Why does that comfort you?
>Look get over it.
>Pick up copy of "If wishes were real"
>You knew it was a good idea to pick this book up
>Open to index
>Find "Accidentally combining two worlds with a wish."
>It is really your lucky day isn't it?
>Read the section
>"If you combined you world to another through a wish, do not worry. No one other than you will be able to tell the difference."
>That's good
>"Just go with the flow, everything will work out"
>Well, books can't lie now can they
>Look at watch, still have time before party
>Better go out and meet the your new neighbors
>Met a few cool people
>Applejack still has some obsession with apples
>Kind of creepy
>While Walking, you look a the houses
>They look really dumb in real life
>In a cartoon it's cute, but in real li-
>You just bumped into someone
>Smooth one
>You look at her
>Pink hair and sweater
>Fluttershy
>and Because you bumped into her all the animal food she was carrying is all over the ground
>"Oh dear"
I'm so sorry
>"No, it's me, I should have watch were I was eep"
>Oh shit
>She just realized she doesn't know you
>Bitch always has to be fucking shy
>You'll never get her to say anything
>Unless
Look, it's my fault, you have no reason to apologize
>Start picking up food
>"Oh you don't-"
Yes I do
>You help her pick up the food
>You then realize there is 4 bags
>She is carrying too much
Let me help you
>When did you become the gentleman?
>After some arguing, you help her carry her bags to the cottage
>Arrive at cottage
>Drop off bags in kitchen
You sure you don't need any more help
>"Yes."
You sure? I mean it must be really hard to all this work on your own.
>Sure turns and looks you dead in the eyes
>"I've never met anyone like you."
>What
>"No one ever offers to help me as much as you have today"
Well I just feel that you could use some help
>"No, you are just a really nice guy..... I don't know how I could repay you"
>She's blushing
>Oh fuck you've done it now
>Look at your watch
>Almost time for the party
Hey.... I got to go......
>You turn and run
>Why are you running from a relationship from Fluttershy?
>You've been on /mlp/
>Arrive at SCC
>Looks empty
>Open front door
>It's dark
>"SURPRISE"
>Everyone jumps out as the lights flash on
>Even though you knew this was coming you jump a bit
>Pinkie is now in front of you
>"Do you like it? Huh huh huh? Do you? I planned it just right, all for you! It's going to be so much fun, we can play games and have fun!"
>She had put emphasis on "all for you"
>Well, it was "all for you" but the way she said it
Pinkie, it's great
>"Come on!"
>She grabs you by the hand and pulls you into the crowd
>She introduces you to everyone, yes everyone, at the party
>it's a bit crazy
 
>You've now met everyone.
>Also, Lyra has an obsession with Ponies.
>It's rather funny
>Also, Pinkie hasn't left your side the whole time.
>It's rather funny
>When you were meeting Colgate, she asked "So I guess you and Pinkie are best friends?"
>Before you could even respond Pinkie full on hugged you
>"The bestest of friends."
>You're not dumb
>Pinkie Likes you.
>You should probably make a move
>As you think of what to say, the Pink One breaks your train of thought
>"Hey, you want to dance?"
>Now you're not much of a dancer, but.......
Yeah
>At least you don't have to make the first move
 
>You're on the dance floor with Pinkie
>It's some crazy dance music no-one knows the words to
>Pinkie has some crazy dance routine going on
>You're making it up as you go
>Commander Shepard is better than you
>You don't care though
>Pinkie will occasionally say something that makes you laugh uncontrollably.
>The music stops
>Octavia and Vinal are having an argument
>At least you have a chance to catch your breath
>Pinkie looks ready to keep on dancing
>How does she have so much energy?
>You spent the time dancing coming up with something to say to her
>Ask her out or something
Pinkie?
>"Yeah?"
You think that, maybe tomorow... you might-
>"Oh my princess yes"
You didn't let me finish
>"yesyesyesyesyesyesyes"
Do you even know what I was asking
>"You were asking if I wanted to go on a date with you."
>Damn she's good
>She hugs you, for the 5th time today
>You hug her back
>/mlp/ said nothing about Pinkie ever rapeing anyone
>Well, you could be wrong
>Pinkie ends the hug then looks into your eyes.
>You look back
>Dem blue eyes are so damn beautiful
>You could stare into them forever
>The only thing that might make you stop is.....
>That
>Your eyes focus on the one who just entered the room
Fucking Fluttershy
>"Fluttershy?"
>She turns around and sees her good friend
>"Fluttershy, oh I haven't introduced her to you yet! Oh, well I guess you met her already, but no, I really should take you over to meet her and what are you waiting for come on!"
>Once again grabbing your hand and pulling you along
>Except this time you don't want to go
>PP: "Fluttershy!"
>FS: "Pinkie!"
>PP: "I want you to meet my good friend Anon!"
Hey...... Fluttershy
>PP: "Oh yeah, I guess you two already met."
>FS: "It's fine Pinkie. I'm fine with meeting Anon again."
Yeah..... Pinkie, can I talk to Fluttershy alone?
>PP: "Yeah sure, just don't take too long~"
>Pinkie skips away cheerfully
>FS: "So what did you want to say to me?"
>She's giving you a sultry look
Look, your nice and all, but I'm going on a date with Pinkie tomorrow.
>FS: "Oh......."
>Her look quickly changes to one of sadness
There is nothing wrong with you....
>There is everything wrong with her
I hope you understand
>FS: "I understand......."
>With her head hanging, she walks away quietly.
>Pinkie comes skipping back, carrying drinks for you and her
>"What's up with her?"
Don't worry about it
 
>Next day in Earthquestria
>You've been excited all day
>Going on a date with Pinkie
>You kind of want to tell the other Anons of /mlp/
>But you don't have any pics, so it didn't happen
>You start heading over to SCC
>You said you would pick up Pinkie at noon and you didn't want to be late
>Suddenly you reach a cross-walk
>When was this there?
>Someone else is standing there, waiting for the light to say walk.
>It's Fluttershy
Not today
>You walk up next to her, trying to avoid eye contact
>"Good morning Anon."
Fluttershy
>Awkward Silence
>"Going to meet Pinkie?"
Yes........
>Awkward Turtle
You aren't offended that I blew you off?
>"No, no........ I just want you to know that you are the most kind person I ever met... and......"
>She motions for you to lean in closer
>You comply
>"I don't give up easily"
>You shoot her a confused look, but you can see she is already walking away.
Mother Jesus please help me today
 
End Part 1 (Cause I'm too tired to finish tonight)