1
>‘Knock knock’
>You open your door.
>it’s Fluttershy with roofies.
>”Um, hi Anon. Is rape your fetish?”
“No.”
>‘Knock knock’
>You open your door.
>It’s Fluttershy again, this time with a lab coat.
>”Um, hi Anon. Is chemistry your fetish?”
“No.”
>‘Knock knock’
>You open your door.
>It’s Fluttershy again, this time with a whip and some cotton.
>”Um, hi Anon. Is slavery your fetish?”
“No.”
>‘Knock knock’
>You open your door.
>It’s Fluttershy again, this time with an Ouija board.
“Fluttershy.”
>”Yes?”
“Persistence is not my fetish.”
>”Oh, ok.”
>Fucking Fluttershy.
 
2
>You are Anonymous
>And every day of your life in Equestria has consisted of Sluttershy trying to get in your pants.
>She has tried so many fetishes, you think she’s used half the Encyclopedia Equestricca.
>But today you have a plan.
>“Well Anon?”
“Fine Fluttershy. Yes, Hybristophilia is my fetish. I shall now teach you the human mating ritual.”
>”-Squee!-“
“First, get me a coil of barbed rope, a ceremonial dagger, 3 stones, some firewood, and a chicken. Then, see that mountain over there?”
>”Yes?”
“Meet me at the summit.”
-
“Ok Fluttershy. Let us begin.”
>”-Squee!-“
“First, light the firewood and put the stones on it”
>”ok”
“Second, take the barbed wire and put it through your tongue through a hole you made with the dagger.”
>”umm… ok…”
“Now you must wait here 3 days, not eating and drinking nothing but stagnant water. At the end of each day, you must insert one of the stones into your anus. Finally, you must use the dagger to pierce your clitoris. Then return to me.”
>Sluttershy looks scared but agrees.
-
>3 days later, she arrives at your house.
>“Ok Anon, it was hell but I did it. Do we have sex now?”
“That was sex for humans.”
>She looks at you with shocked disbelief, and then promptly passes out.
>Victory at last.
 
3
>It’s December 21st.
>Your birthday.
>The day the yellow menace is eliminated.
>You gear up, grabbing your Kukri and that gem encrusted bandana from rarity.
>You’ve long since decided you’re sure enough of your masculinity.
>And you do admit, it does look ‘FAB-U-LOUS’ on you.
>Just as you finish. Your suddenly find yourself being sucked through a portal.
>You smash your head on landing and black out.
-
>you wake.
>You appear to be bound to a stone altar.
>Suddenly Sluttershy, in some Mayan priest outfit.
“Fluttershy, Mayan sacrifice roleplaying is not my fetish.”
>“Who Fluttershy? Me Kaba Uk Ah Cucumatz. I kill you now for Sun God Celestia”
>She proceeds to tear out your heart with a ceremonial dagger.
>Fatality.
 
4
>Open the door.
>It’s Fluttershy, of course.
>”Um, hi anon. –ahem-“
 
>”Oh, Anon the fairest
>With two balls so blue,
>Why don’t you give it a rest
>And just let me fuck you.”
-
>”You’ve been here for a year
>But no mare have you met,
>Who has saved you from your fear
>Of getting your dick wet.”
-
>”So much time I have spent
>To try to find what you want,
>Yet no matter how far I’ve went
>Your virginity you flaunt.”
-
>”It’s been such a long time
>Since I’ve last had sex,
>It won’t cost you a dime
>If you were to be my next.”
-
>”So please, I beg you,
>I beseech you,
>I plead of you!
>Oh please oh please, let me finally fuck you!”
 
“…Fluttershy…”
>”…yes?”
 
“Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Now let me stay my choice
Of not rutting you”
 
>”ok…”
Fucking Fluttershy
 
5
>Today, you are learning to sew clothing from rarity.
>For some reason, her machine is in running in slow motion.
>You open up the side to see what the problem is.
>Fluttershy is in it.
>”Oh… um… hi Anon. are slow threads your fetish?”
“Fluttershy, you don’t even know what that means.”
>”Is that a no?”
“That’s a no.”
 
6
>Your pouring sweat.
“Oh sweet Celestia, this is good.”
>You twirl your tongue around in ecstasy, teasing Silver Spoon with your mouth.
“I’ve always said, on a day like this, there’s nothing better.”
>You get another scoop of ice cream.
>It’s summer in Equestria.
>Silver Spoon is a literal spoon.
 
7
>Day Idon’tgiveaflyingfuck in Equestria
>You walk out the door.
>Your already standing on the floor.
>The dinosaurs died out millions of years ago.
>outside your door is Flut.. no wait.. Silver Spoon
>”H-Hi A-Anon. H-How a-a-are y-you!”
“What do you want you little dyke?”
>“I-Is st-st-stuttering y-your f-fetish?”
“No Silver Spoon, stuttering isn’t my fetish.”
>Suddenly Fluttershy with a katana.
>”Quit stealing my job you little bitch!”
>Fluttershy disembowels Silver Spoon.
>”Hi anon.”
“Fluttershy…”
>”Yes?”
“Disembowelment isn’t my fetish either.”
>“Oh… ok…”
>Fluttershy preforms seppuku.
"Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
 
8
>Day square root of -1337 in Equestria.
>Flutters is on your door step with a bag of peanuts and this article.
http://now.msn.com/now/0503-licking-monkey-butt.aspx
“Fluttershy… I don’t even want to know any more…”
>You kill yourself that night.
 
9
>Your walking down the road, headed to Sugarcube corner for some tea and crumpets.
>Yea, you like tea and crumpets? So what?
>You arrive at Sugarcube corner and open up your laptop, then remember there’s no internet in Equestria.
>No matter, you have portal 2!
“Wait… what’s this desktop icon?”
>It opens up an interactive 3D Fluttershy.
>”Hi anon. is virtual sex your fetish?”
>Ctrl+Alt+Del
>”Wait, what are you doing?”
>Start Task Manager
>”What’s that?”
>End Program
>Right Click
>Delete
>Are you sure you want to move this item to the Recycling Bin?
>Click Yes
>Open Recycling Bin
>Empty Recycling Bin
>Open Notepad.
>Select font.
Today was interesting.
>Save.
 
10
>Day Istilldon’tcare in Equestria
>Your heading to Dusk Shine’s house to pick up some books on painting.
“Hey, dusk, have you seen butterscotch lately?”
> “I think he’s at the hospital for surgery Femanon.”
“Oh my, is he ok?”
> “It’s cosmetic or something.”
Oh, ok. Well see you around!”
> “Bye.”
>Suddenly Butterscotch.
>He’s a mare now.
>”U-um, hi Femanon.”
“Butterscotch…”
>”It’s Fluttershy now.”
“Fluttershy…”
>”Yes…?”
“Rule 63 is not my fetish.”
>”Oh, ok…”
“How did you even find out about that?”
>”I don’t know…”
 
11
>Year 12 in Equestria
>You’ve gotten married to your Rainbro.
>To your joy, she was able to become pregnant, despite the obvious biological differences.
>Your about to start a family.
>Your about to be a father.
>You see the head crown.
>Its yellow…
>With a pink mane…
>Oh Celestia… why…
>You start to tear up.
>”Um.. hi Anon. Is this your fetish?”
“Fluttershy… what happened to my child?”
>”I aborted it”
>You burst out into tears.
>Dash hangs herself.
>You slit your wrist.
>Fluttershy rapes your corpse.
>Rarity was secretly a cannibal and eats you and Rainbow with spike [spoiler]while Fluttershy is still humping you[/spoiler].
>Pinkie throws a party because she secretly hated you and Dash.
>Applejack fucks Bigmac to get over her depression.
>Twilight is worst p0ny, no one gives a fuck what she does.
>The fetish was spawn camping
 
12
>So ur fuking Fluttrshi an shee keps stopin befor u cum
>So u ax her
“LOL Flttrshy what u doin?”
>And she sais
>“Is orgsm deniul ur fetsh?”
>So you saes
“Nao flutershy orgasm deniel is not mi fitesh, y u stil gessing wen im fuking u?”
>And she sase
>“I CNT STOP! BWAH!”
The End.
 
13
>Day 30 in Equestria.
>You’re shopping for new thread to help Rarity.
>There is none.
>”H-hi Anon… is new thread your fetish?”
“No Fluttershy… but where the fuck is it?”
>”I accidentally it in the river.”
Fucking Fluttershy.
 
14
>It's been 28 days since the outbreak of Derpatitis in Equestria.
>Scientist have seen searching for a cure.
>They believe it to be something called "New Thread".
>I'm currently holed up in one of the Ponyville emergency supply closets.
>Suddenly a knock.
>"Hi Anon. Are epidemics your fetish?"
"Fuck off Fluttershy."
>"O-ok..."
 
15
>You are Anonymous.
>AKA the Grim Reaper.
>Today you’re going to collect the soul of one Fluttershy.
“Fluttershy…”
>”Yes Mr. Reaper?”
“Thou time hast come.”
>”You can make me cum anytime Mr. Reaper…”
“That is NOT what I meant.”
>”Are you sure? You have quite the looooong biiiig bone…”
“That is my femur!”
>”So is losing a limb your fetish?”
“What are you talking about?”
>She rips off your femur.
“Give that back!”
>Fluttershy start’s pleasuring herself with your leg.
>”Ooooooh… Yes!”
“Fuck this shit! I’m out of here!”
>”Same time next week?”
 
16
>Well, I'm running down the road
>tryin' to loosen my load
>I've got one pervy filly on my mind,
>Boy she wants ta suck me,
>Man she wants ta buck me,
>But she’ll never get this dick of mine
>Take It easy, take it easy
>Don't let the sound of horny mares
>drive you crazy
>Lighten up while you still can
>don't even try to understand
>Just find a place to make your stand
>And take it easy
 
17
>Day shamalamadingdong in Equestria.
>If that grey whore comes a-knockin.
>I’m a be a-stompin.
>Speak of the devil.
>”Hay anon like OMG YDTF?”
>You stab the little dyke in the head.
>You proceed to stomp on her.
>And stomp.
>And stomp.
>And stomp.
>Suddenly her skull gives way, and your boot is coated in Silver Spoon brains.
“I guess you could say your boot is covered in,”
>You put on sunglasses.
“Grey matter.”
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAA!
 
18
>Day Nien In Equestria.
>You are Anonymous.
>And as by decree of Führer Celestia, you are tasked with exterminating ze Earthies.
>You are observing one known as… Silver Spoon, the most unremarkable, if not annoying of the inferior race.
>“Like OMG what is up?”
“Begin feeding ze gas into ze chamber”
>”Yes Doctor Anonymous.”
>”LOL I know totally!”
>”Hey do you smell something?”
>Her skin and fur proceed to melt off, as do her eyes and flesh.
>Finally some peace and quiet at Neighschwitz.
 
19
>Day SHUTTHEFUCKUP in Equestria
>You are Dark Brotherhood Anon.
>And your current contract is none other than Silver Spoon.
>You sneak up behind her, drawing your dagger.
>”Like OMG LOL like totally Ohmaigosh are you serious? Like he totally said that?”
>DEAR SITHIS MAKE IT STOP!
>You stab her lung.
>Finally… peace and quiet…
>Suddenly Fluttershy.
>”H-hi Anon. Is rape your fetish?”
“No Fluttershy fuck off.”
>Fluttershy morphs into Molag Bal.
>”No? Well it’s mine!”
Fucking Daedra
 
20
>Day 99problemsandaFluttershyain’t1 in Equestria.
>You are Dark Brotherhood Anon again for some reason.
>Wait… why wouldn’t you be?
>And today you have to reassassinate Silver Spoon.
>Evidently, she’s the first to survive you.
>You swear she’s a Daedric Prince in disguise.
>You sneak into the hospital.
>Well, more like skipping along yelling ‘FOR SITHIS’ and ‘TO THE VOID’ over and over while stabbing everyone.
>Let’s see.. room 3.
>Ponyville medical only has 7 rooms strangely.
>You the door’s already open.
>You ninja roll across the floor.
>Since you’re an Argonian, you look like a dinosaur.
>You take your butter knife out…
>And BAM! Filthy Rich.
>”You bastard! I won’t let you kill my daughter!
“LOL NOPE!”
>You slice off his head.
>Suddenly, Whoever The Fuck Silver Spoons mom is.
>You cut her open and use her intestines to skip rope.
>Khorne would be proud.
“STFU brain this is Skyrim!”
>Oh yea.
>”wu..what?”
>Oh look, she woke up.
>Not for long!
>You choke her with her own mother’s intestines.
>Then you feed her her own eyes.
>Then you rape her with her father’s head.
>Or, you tried to, but p0ny’s reproduce by budding.
>Then you cut out her lungs, and spread them like angel wings.
>She dies for real this time.
>Molag Bal appears.
>“Its RAEPING TIME!”
“NO MOLAG NO!”
“Molag no rapeing Molag no rapeing Molag no rapeing!”
>”What on Nirn are you doing?”
“LOL IDK this is Equestria.”
>”STFU we aren’t in Africa.”
“Wrong Equestria dumb shit.”
>A wild DISCORD appears.
“Hey Molag go rape that thing!”
>”Hello anonymous, thanks for the-Wait what?”
>”Hello… Sexy…”
>And then Molag Bal and Discord had kinky butt sex while Fluttershy watches.
>The Aedra and the Daedra all agreed Silver Spoon is worst pone.
~Fin~
 
21
>Day 1 in  someplace called Equestria.
>So far you’ve been almost dissected by a purple OCD horse, practically molested by way of party supplies by a pink cocaine addict, had your clothes thrown out by a white snobby unicorn, got your ass whooped by a dyke pegasus, and been bucked in the balls by an in-bred hick.
>At least your day cannot get any worse.
>Oh, someone’s knocking.
“Who is it?”
>You open the door to a yellow pony with a pink mane
>She’s carrying a Branding iron, wearing a leather suit, and has a whip on her back.
>“H-hi, im Fluttershy. Is masochistic BDSM your fetish?”
>Kill me now…
 
22
>The day is 919 in Equestria.
>Ever since you have arrived, there has been a technological revolution.
>You regret bringing it here.
>Silver fucking Spoon text you every goddamn minute.
>"Like OMG Annon R U HORNY????"
>So today, you invested in a high powered riffle.
>There she is in the park, texting the phone you threw into the river.
>”OMG ANON BOYZ ARE LEIK SO MEAN TO ME… Atlst U Luv me, Rite?”
>You aim…
“BOOM HEADSHOT!”
>You are arrested for first degree murder.
“WORTH IT!”
>And now the park bench is a nice new shade of red.
 
23
>Day Uno! in Equestria.
>Fluttershy is chasing you around with her old feathers.
>She keeps trying to tickle you.
"Ha ha! Flutter Ha Shy Ha ha! tickling is not my Ha Fetish!"
>”Oh… Ok.”
>She looks depressed now.
> you decide to cheer her up somehow.
>You start tickling her back with your fingers, turning it into a tickle fight.
>Evidently she's so ticklish it sexually stimulates her.
>She manages to climax from you tickling her with both hands at the same time.
>Lyra stayed jealous of Fluttershy for a month.
 
24
Anonymous and the Holy Quest for the Holy Silver Spoon Clop!
>Thou beeth Anonymous, King of the Equestrions. And thou is a King.
>And thou art on a quest for the silver spoon clop, given to thou by Celestia herself.
>Thou and thous knights cometh upon a cavernous cave, and ye be entering.
>Thou stab the rabbit, tim lied to ye it turneth out.
>Maybeeth he hath been speaketh of Angel Bunny the Infernal.
>Thou and ye knights of the square table cometh across a golden altar, laiden in gold.
>Upon thee altar beeth a box.
>Thou open thee box.
>And thereth beeth the resulteth of thou’s holy quest for the holy silver spoon clop scroll!
>Thou unrolleth thy scroll, and readeth to ye knights outloudeth.
“Fair knights! Gather around!”
>Thou calleth out to thy knights, readething from thee sacred text.
“Ahem. ONE DAY IN THE MAGICAL LAND OF EQUESTRIA! THERE WAS A GREY FILLY WHO WAS ALSO SILVERWARE! AND THERE WAS ALSO A HOOMAN NAMED ANONYMOUS! AND THEY FUCKED! THE END!”
 
25
Day 50 in equestria
>You are heading back form the market, getting your weekly groceries.
>On the way back you notice Fluttershy, but she doesn't notice you.
>She's heading towards the school for 'special education'.
>You think nothing of it.
-
>Later, you hear a knock on the door.
>When you open it, a hundred screaming high pitched voices start complaining about 'stolen kills' and 'campers'
>Once several start tossing the word "faggot" at you, they all join in on it.
>"O-oh, hi anon, is Xbox live voice chat your fetish?"
>You rage quit a golf club into Fluttershy's head.
 
26
>Day 9.001 X 10 to the third power in Equestria.
>You’ve done it!
>You’ve created a portal to go back home!
>Suddenly, you spot a little tuff of pink mane at your window.
>No matter, soon you will be home, free of that yellow nut-case.
>You begin to charge up the ‘thingy that looks like a flux capacitor’.
>If anything goes wrong in this stage, shit’s gonna go down.
>Just as you think that, the pink mane reveals itself to be Pinkie.
>”HiwhatjadoingAnonoowhatsthis?”
“Don’t touch that!”
>She does, and a glowing white sphere forms around the capacitor thing, growing quicker and quicker.
>Just as the sphere consumes you, you hear Fluttershy call out.
>“Is Murphy’s Law your fetish Anon?”
>You black out
-
>Sometime later you wake up
>Nothing seems to be different.
>You walk into town, hoping to get supplies to retry.
>Suddenly, Pinkie Pies, thousands of them.
>Everypony in Equestria was turned into Pinkie Pie.
>The original became an Alicorn.
>Cake and pastries grow on bushes, and booze and candy on trees.
>You party for a year straight, only stopping when you die of diabetes.
 
27
>Day I give up in Equestria.
>You’re enjoying a nice cup of tea on your porch, suppressed at the fact Fluttershy hasn’t tried anything today.
>Speak of the devil, here she comes.
>H-hi Anon, are roofies your fetish?”
>Wha-
>Blackout.
>You wake up, and you’re tied to a table in Fluttershy’s basement.
>”Hello, anon. shame I couldn’t get you to love me before, but now you will…”
>Why does she sound so… cold?
“What are you doing to me?”
>She puts on a devious grin.
>”Just making you love me, don’t worry.”
>She shoves a bottle down your throat.
>It taste… lovely?
>”That my love, is a love poison. Now let me ask you something. Are love poisons your fettish?”
“Oh yes… now let me ask YOU something. What is your fetish?”
>Your love unfurls a comically oversized roll.
>Better get started.
 
28
>Day 30 in Equestria.
>You walk in your house.
>The entire inside is covered in a strange white substance.
>You can’t stand.
>You slide around the house, looking for your mop.
>Fluttershy fly’s in.
>”H-hi Anon…”
“Fluttershy…”
>”Yes?...”
“Ectoplasm is not my fetish…”
>”That wasn’t ectoplasm”
>…Eww…
>”It was coconut syrup.”
>Phew…
>You make pancakes and use some before you clean it up.
>You pass Fluttershy hers, and then start eating your own.
>the syrup taste pretty funky...
>”U-umm, Anon?”
“Yes?”
>“In Equestria, we make coconut syrup out of stallion semen, what do you make it out of?”
 
29
>It’s day -30 in Equestria.
>You’re heading home from work when you see her.
>Oh, that luscious coat of yellow, that beautiful pink mane.
>Oh if only she loved you as you loved her…
“Hmmm… I wonder…”
>You get a hose, and head over to Fluttershy’s cottage.
>You stuff the hose down your throat, and turn on the water.
>You fill up for 3 hours, eventually reaching your optimum size.
>Fluttershy gets home just in time.
>”U-um… Anon… what are you doing? Fat humans aren’t my fetish…”
“-Sniff- it was supposed too be a water balloon!”
>”Still not…”
>Angel pops you with a needle.
 
30
>Day abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz in equestria
>You’re running.
>From what you don’t know.
>Why you’re running you don’t know.
>And how you’re running you don’t know.
>All you know is that you’re running, and you’re afraid.
>Suddenly you wake up.
>Fluttershy is hovering over your bed.
>”U-um… hi Anon, are nightmares in stage 4 sleep your fetish?”
>You grab a rope and tie her legs together.
>You break off her wings.
>You stab her in the chest with a knife.
>She cries out in pain, and you drown her in the toilet.
>You wake up gasping.
>You are actually Fluttershy.
“Hmmm… is brutality Anon’s fetish?”
“I should try that…”
 
31
>Day ‘fucking hell’ in Equestria.
>Your walking home from your job at Lotus and Aloe’s spa.
>Fluttershy fly’s up to you.
>She’s wearing a strangely long duster.
“Fluttershy… what are you doing?”
>O-oh.. um…”
>She pulls open the duster and looks at you seductively.
>”Is flashing your fetish?”
>What.
“Fluttershy… we’re in a fucking town of nudist.”
“You’re naked all the time…”
>”So… that’s a no?”
“That’s a no…”
>”O-ok…”
>She flies off.
>What she didn’t notice that you're sporting wood now.
>Turns out it was your fetish.
 
32
>You’re sitting in your house
>Doing nothing as usual.
>Fluttershy fly’s in the window, and sits on the couch in front of you.
>You can’t walk away.
>You can’t cry out for help.
>You’re stuck there, having to sustain whatever she does.
>She starts to push your buttons, but you can’t do anything about it.
>Then she just starts staring…
>She start’s to giggle like an idiot, almost as if she was a mad mare.
>You would get creeped out, but you can’t.
>She’s watching comedy.
You are a television.
 
33
>Year 2 Day 3 in Equestria.
>You’re on a dingy in Ponyville Lake, enjoying the sun and ignoring the drunken retard in pirate regalia.
>It sucks that he’s the only other human here.
>Suddenly, a submarine surfaces next to you.
>It’s yellow.
“Fluttershy…”
>The sub beeps in response.
“’The Beatles’ are not my fetish…”
>The submarine gives off a drawn out, sad sounding beep, then submerges.
>You put back in your headphones and start playing some Black Sabbath.
>You glance over at the wannabe pirate.
>The drunken idiot fell off and drowned.
>Fucking Pastafarians, the Invisible Pink Unicorn’s better.
 
34
>Day Aieou in Equestria.
>You open the door, wondering what Fluttershy is going to try today.
>She's hovering upside down, looking at you with dem lust filled derp eyes.
>"HI ANNON IST WETAWDATION YUR FETISH?"
"No Fluttershy, intelligence is. I say, good devotion to your cause old chap. shame it's irreversible."
>"WHUT?"
>You put her out of her misery by bashing her with your cane.
>I say tis a jolly good day.
 
35
>Your traveling to Sweet Apple Acres to tell off Applerape, when you hear a rustling.
>Is it your jimmies?
>No, it’s a bush, but their also rustling now.
>A pair of yellow wings pops up.
>Fluttershy…
>Why do they look masculine?
“Fluttershy… I can see you.
>”O-oh… umm…”
>Why does she sound like a stallion?
>”I-its butterscotch now…”
>She walks out, revealing that she is now a he.
“Fluttershy…”
>”Butterscotch.”
“Butterscotch…”
>”Y-yes?”
“Transsexuals are not my fetish…”
>You don’t like that look…
>“Damn it! What do I have to do to make you love me? I’ve done EVERYTHING!”
“I don’t think I can ever love you… sorry…”
>”Then I’ll just bucking take it!”
>He kicks you to the ground.
>You try to push him off, but he manages to pin you down.
>He manages to flip you over, and pull down your pants.
>As he’s raping your ass, you look back to him and say.
"Anal rape was my fetish, good guess."
 
36
>You’re in a bar, sitting around a table telling jokes with the mane 6
“Ok, ok… I got one.”
>”Say it.”
“What do gay horses eat?”
>They look at you with a slight glare.
>”What would that be?”
“Haaaaaaay!”
>Pinkie burst out into laughter, she obviously doesn’t get it though.
>Twilight just looks at you with a look that says ‘duh?’
>Applejack looks slightly humored.
>Rarity calls you an uncouth bigot.
>That dyke rainbow looks pissed.
>Fluttershy grabs rainbow, and tries to tongue kiss her.
>”Are gay equines your fetish Anon?”
“No, they-“
>Rainbow knocks Fluttershy out cold, and knocks you on your ass.
>Bitch needs to get a sense of humor.
 
37
>You’re walking alongside the Canterlot gate, when you suddenly see a large yellow and pink thing sitting on the wall.
>It’s Fluttershy.
>She’s gained a massive amount of weight, dressed in an egg costume, and taped fake hawk talons to her hooves.
>”H-hi Anon, are Oviraptors your fetish?”
“Fluttershy, that’s not what an Oviraptor is, and no, they are not my fetish…”
“O-ok…”
>You push her off, and sing out.
“Humpty Shy sat on a wall.”
“Humpty Shy had a great fall.”
“And all the princesses’ ponies,”
“And all the princesses’ mares,”
“Couldn’t put Flutters back together again.”
 
38
>Day 6 August 1945 in Japan.
>You are buying some tuna at the market in downtown Hiroshima.
>Suddenly, a weird little yellow cartoon horse pops out of the fish stall.
>She’s asking you something.
“My ingrish very poor, say again?”
>”Is death by a nuclear fireball your fetish, Anonymous-san?”
“What?”
>Your face melts off before she finishes talking.
>You have three testicals and four eyes now.
>She’s become a zombie looking thing.
>You don your power armor, and shoot her with a laser pistol as she tries to bite into your leg.
>You spend the next year roaming the capital wasteland searching for giant robot parts, like any good Japanese citizen would.
 
39
>You open the door to your house.
>Flutterslut is on the floor, laying in...
"Oh lawd..."
>She's laying in a pool of her own blood, one hoof coated in it.
>She drew several pentagrams in the crimson fluid, and on the wall wrote, "are Satanic ritualistic sacrifices your fetish Anon?"
>You manage a single tear.
>Blood is hard to get out of carpets.
>You throw the corpse in the weird tree dumpster in the middle of town that's full of books.
>OCD pony screams as you walk into the distance.
>Today was ok.
 
>Walking on the way to Sugarcube Corner to meet with pink cocaine pony, you see weird green lights comming out of the tree dumpster.
>Purple OCD pony's emmitting a weird green light, and turning into a skeleton.
>She looks at Flutterslut's body, and it starts to rise.
>"It worked! Fluttershy is alive!"
"What worked?"
>"I made myself into a lich, and brought back Fluttershy!"
>Suddenly, Flutterslut runs out the door, moaning.
>She bites into a applehicks neck, and starts to eat her brains.
>"Applejack!"
>Two rapist down for the price of one.
>Today was great!
 
>You're currently in the back of Flim and Flam's Supper Speedy Zombie Killer 9000.
>Twilich has started the zombie apocalypse.
>Celestia was infected, as was most of the pony race.
>Your rag tag group of survivors currently consist of Luna, Gilda, Rover, Flim, and the CMC.
>Applebloom got a ass mark of a machete.
>Sweetie belle got a mark of a shotgun.
>Scootaloo got a mark of a brain being eaten, she didn't survive.
>Made good fried chicken when you deep fried the little zombie though.
>Today was kind of bad...
 
40
>You are Fluttershy, and you are searching in the forest for a little injured squirrel.
>Suddenly, a blue oval appears on the ground, and a box flies out of it.
>You barely move out of the way, and it slams into a tree.
>A little white thing burst out of it.
>It kind of looks like...
>Nothing you've seen before.
>Oh! Its moving! You hope it's ok!
>"Deploying."
>"Hello, and thank you for purchasing your new Aperture Science Military Grade Turret, class: Anonymous. To begin registration, please say 'registration'."
"u-um... Registration?"
>"Scanning registry to identify purchaser."
>"Scanning complete."
>"Species registered as'Pegasus'."
>"Error, Pegasus labeled as non-existent, altering registry..."
"Are you ok little guy?"
>"Registration complete."
>"Fluttershai, what in tarnations is that?"
"I'm not sure..."
>"I see you..."
>Its sides start to... open?
>Suddenly, the trees arround applejack start to splinter, and the thing points a red light at Applejack from it's eye.
>"Searching."
>"Target lost."
>"Are you still there?"
>"... Good Night..."
>It tucks in it's side-thingies, and you think it goes to sleep.
>You tap on it with your hoof to make sure.
>It starts to tip over.
>"WAAAH!!"
>It freaks out, and starts to do the thing it did to Applejack. This time randomly though.
>"I don't blame you..."
>By Celestia... you think you killed it!
 
41
>You are currently discussing the future of technology with twilight.
>"I bet you that someday pony-like robots will be indistinguishable from real ponies, and will blend in with society. Maybe they will even be unaware that they themselves are robots!"
"ptth, I doubt it. There's a higher chance of someone inventing a way to turn wood into gold."
>"There's a spell for that already."
"Oh."
-20 Years Later-
>"Give us another round!"
>The bartender pours you and the mare with you each another shot of whiskey.
>Your currently sitting in a bar, drinking with a lovely mare you've met.
>Normally, you would be the one buying the drinks, but evidently she just won a small fortune in court.
>So, being the gentleman you are, you don't object to her paying for the drinks.
>Fuck it, you just want to save bits.
>"How about we get out of here... handsome?"
"My place or yours?"
>"Why not -hic- both?"
>Hurray for portals!
 
>You and the mare stumble down the street, giggling like school fillies on the way to your place.
>You almost trip heading up the door to unlock the stairs.
>Wait...
>Buck it, you don't care.
>Fumbling with the key, you think you've unlocked it.
>Nope.
>Now?
>Still no.
>"-Hic- Hurry up! You don't want me to go find somep0ny else to satisfy me, do you?"
>-click- There you go.
>She stands on her hind legs, trying to her tongue into your mouth.
>She misses, and starts to lap your face like a dog.
>You both head to your bedroom, with her still licking your face.
>You step on some newspapers and slip.
"Fuck fuck fuck!"
>"Oh buck!"
>You both land on the couch, barely.
"Ehh, close enough."
>She starts to grind her marehood your leg.
>She may be ruining your pants, but penis happy, so you don't care.
>You push her over so she doesn't just stay content with your jeans, and start moving your head down between her legs.
>You stare stupidly at it for a while, taking in the smell.
>"Hurry up down there!"
"-hic- sorry."
>Slipping two fingers in, she lets out a small gasp of delight.
>You proceed like this for a while, crudely trying to pleasure her like the drunken bastard you are.
>Eventually, your arm gets tired.
>She looks like she was getting bored anyways.
>You start to use your tongue.
>She taste like... Rubber?
>You push your tongue deeper, wiggling it around inside her.
>This sends new shockwaves of pleasure through her.
>Wait... litteral shockwaves...
>She begins to spark, and smoke comes out of her neck.
>"-Error- Sexual activity.exe has been corrupted, please restart system to correct."
>"-Error- System malfunction, attempting to reboot."
>"-Error- Unable to reboot, disk is corrupted, please contact the manufacturer of this product."
>Damn, that was the third this week...
 
42
>Someones outside, making a racket.
>It's three a.m., there's too much noise don't you people ever wanna go to bed?
> Fluttershy is smashing in your door with a hammer for some reason.
"Fluttershy...."
>Thats not Fluttershy...
"who the fuck are you?"
>They answer with a bat to your face.
>A little while later, you wake up. Your neck is soar, as if someone pricked it.
>In the window is a silhouette of a pony in a swagalicious cloak.
>"Ello, anon. Iz vampyrism your fetizh?"
"no..."
>Damn, that is quite unfortunate..."
Why are you talking like that?"
>Isn't this how vampires talk?"
"No Fluttershy..."
>"I give up, can you just tell me what it is?"
Hmmm...
"Garlic bread! And i just happen to have some downstairs..."
>"-Squee!- I'll be right back!"
>She turns into a bat, and zooms downstairs.
>a little while later, you hear screams of pain downstairs.
>"Why Anon? Why..."
>You answer her by throwing her out the window, and throwing crosses at her.
>A few days later, you learn she infected you with it.
>Turns out, ponies don't have a cure, so it becomes an epidemic.
>You live out the rest of your infinite lifespan drinking blood, sleeping in coffins, and chillin with Luna.
 
44
>Running through the forest, you cant help but to frown.
>How long has it been since you've last been thrown into one of Fluttershy's little schemes?
>Likely three hours, which means she's probably about to try another.
>Speak of the devil, spikes start shooting out of the floor around your feet.
>Holy fuck, is she out for blood this time?
>You pick up the pace, narrowly avoiding darts shot from the walls.
>Sprinting as fast as You can, you grip onto a vine and leap.
>The vine swings, taking you with it across a ravine.
>You toss yourself at the other side, gripping the edge.
>Unfortunately, the rock wall is too slippery to gain a good grip, and you fall into the roaring waters below.
>The current is too strong to fight, and you slam into rock after rock on your way down the river.
>You black out, having hit your head on one of the rapids.
>An unknown amount of time later, your eyes shoot open, darting arround to view your surroundings.
>Your in a cottage.
>Fluttershy's cottage.
>Spotting Fluttershy, you notice she is dressed as a golden idol.
>"H-hi Anon, is lost treasure your fetish?"
"Fuck off Fluttershy..."
>You don your hat, and strangle her with your whip.
 
45
>You are Anonymous.
>The DOVAHKIIN!
>And you seem to be in a giant stable, filled with strange, tiny horses with giant eyes.
>Some of them have wings, they would make magnificent steeds, and some have retarted little horn thingies on them.
>You've killed a few for Hircine, but you can't find a shrine to bring the pelts to.
>Wait, what is that?
>Dragon! But why is it so small and purple?
>No matter, a dragon is a dragon either way!
>'Cept Paathurnax, he cool.
>You run up to the beast, and impail its head on your sword.
>The flesh begins to burn off of the bones, as you absorb the soul.
>DRAGON SOUL ABSORBED
>Hmm... Which shout will you have the soul teach you?
>You've just learned the word YOL recently, perhaps that ll be cool?
>You decide to Test it out.
>Facing the tree house thing, you shout with all your might.
"YOL!"
>The entire fucking thing explodes! Awesome!
>Huh, theres something in the rubble.
>Its the bosy of a unicorn, purple specifically.
>Your pretty hungry, and horsemeat is pretty good tasting.
>You cut off the head, and shout again to finish cooking it.
"YOL!"
>The body turns to ashes, and begin to float away towards that city on the mountain.
>Odd, maybe you cooked it too long?
>You go around, shouting at every horse you come across, but to your dismaythe same thing happens every time.
>Eventually, you make your way to the mountainside, High Hrothgar esq city.
>By the Nine (because you aren't some imperial elf slave)! Why are there so many horses here?
>You run into the palace, slicing open every horse for the hell of it.
>Some even had that weird Cyrodiilic horse armor, you loot it, hoping you can melt it down like Dwarven junk.
>Running around shouting at more horses, you come across the jarl's chambers.
>There's all your food! And a big white winged unicorn also!
>She has a look of shock on her face as you start to dig in, eating a cyan and rainbow horse.
>When your full, she looks angry, so you hop on her and have her fly away into the sunset.
>Literally, you fly into the sun, and burn into tiny ashes.
 
46
>You are Rarity
>And you have a plan to get that lovely gentle stallion, Anonymous, to swoon for you.
>Putting the finishing touches on your newest creation, you try to think of a name for them.
>Hmm... For some reason the word 'socks' keeps popping into your mind.
>It'sas good a name as any.
>You pull them on magically, having some trouble gettingthem over your ankles, but not much.
>"Rarity? You wanted to see me?"
"I'll be right out Anonymous!"
>You gallop out into the foyer.
>The silk must be slippery against the varnished hardwood floor, you cant stand.
"Oh dear!"
> You slide into a wall, knocking yourself back.
>Standing up again slowly, you start to trot over to Anonymous.
>That foul ruffian is giggling at you!
>If you wern't trying to court him, you would be giving him quite the earful right now!
>Your almost to him now.
>"Nope!"
>He pushes you, sliding you around the floor.
>Buck it, socks won't work.
 
47
.yhslasreveR gnikcuF<
".tnenamrep stI"<
"?ti xif ew od woh woN"
".ko ,ho-O"<
"...hsitef ym ton yletanifed si sdrawkcab gnieb ,yhsrettulF oN"
"?hsitef ruoy sdrawkcab gnieb si ,nonA ih-H"<
.uoy ta gnirats ,hcuoc eht no si yhsrettulF<
.esuoh ruoy ot rood eht nepo uoY<
 
48
>Heading to Twilight's to get some books, you notice a small, white sign in the middle of the road with a loop of rope surrounding it.
>Reading the sign, it says,"stand here."
>You walk around, and continue on your merry way.
 
>Later, you're in the middle of the market, when a dart goes shooting past your neck.
>It hits a pony behind you, and he is out cold in seconds.
>Your starting to get slightly worried now, but sofar your jimmies remain unrustled.
 
>Your eating lunch in Sugarcube corner, when pinkie brings out a piece of cherry pie someone left for you.
>You pull out the pills, and cautiously eat it.
 
>Dragging a freshly killed boar out of the everfree, you trip over a wire.
>A net falls out of the tree, missing you by several inches.
 
>As your cooking up some porkchops, you hear a knocking at your door.
>Answering it, a blast of some sort of gas his you in the face, only to be blown away by a slight breeze before you inhale.
>Looking down, you see a familiar yellow menance.
>H-hello Anon..."
"Fluttershy...
>"Is failure your fetish?"
"You know what?"
>"-squee!-"
"No, it's not. You failed again."
>You grab her by the tail, and fling her into the distance.
>She narrowly misses landing on a mattress by a foot or so.
 
49
Day omelet in Equestria
>You are on a mission.
>You creak open the window, and slip inside.
>Putting Angel in a choke hold, you make your way upstairs.
>You creak open the door to Fluttershy's bedroom, and tip toe in.
>She's asleep, good.
>You go over to the nest in the corner, and start gathering eggs.
>Having grabbed around ten, you make your way out.
>-creak-
>Oh shit..
>"Hu...? Anon? What are you doing here?"
>Mission failed! Retreat!
>"Oh Anon... Why didn't you say you wanted eggs?"
>She turns around and lifts her tail.
>Suddenly, egg after egg launches out of her cloaca, splattering on the walls around you.
>You grab Angel's unconscious body and flee.
>You have a rabbit and pegasi egg omelet for dinner.
 
 
50
>Aim for the moon, and even if you miss you'll land among the stars.
>You've been told that all your live, but noone has said what to do if you manage to hit it.
>Or, rather, if a large white horse throws you there.
>It's calm, and serene...
>And utterly, mind numbingly boring.
>A bit interesting though, instead of ON the moon, you're in some sort of prison IN the moon.
>Every so often, a horse comes bye and sedates you.
>In particular is a mint green unicorn in a lab coat, she seems to really love to.
>You go to sleep, waiting out your 'sentence'.
 
>Upon waking, there appears to be a yellow horse in the room with you.
>Are those... Wings?
>And why are they so stiff looking...
>Suddenly, she lunges at you.
>"Itha ku mikana?"
>The fuck is she saying?
>It's just now you notice the latex suit on her.
>She throws you to the floor, and binds you with leather clasp before you can respond.
>You must have hit your head harder than you thought, because you black out.
>When you wake, she's still in he room, your pants are nowhere to be found, and your still bound.
>She is laying beside you, smoking a cigarette.
>"Kasa du fera..."
>You've never felt more violated in your life...
 
51
>D'day in Equestria.
>You are storming into enemy territory.
>Flutter-clone after Flutter-clone, your Thompson cuts into the fascist rapists.
>You reload another clip, just as they issue a banzai.
>Hundreds upon hundreds of fluttershys swoop through the air towards you.
>You pull out your knife, and begin to make short work of them.
>As you finish off the last one, another wave comes.
>This time, their wings block out the sun.
>You take down as many as you can, but eventually you are overwhelmed.
>They bound and gag you, then put a burlap sack over your head.
>You are thrown into the back of a truck, and locked inside.
>Several hours later, the sack is pulled off of your head, and your gag is removed.
>"So... Mester Anonymouz... What iz ze fetizh!"
"I'll never tell you whore!"
>"We suspected you would zay zat..."
">he pulls a lever on the wall, and several electrodes taped to you activate.
>"well?"
>You spit on her
"fuck off"
>She responds with another shock.
>"We can do ziz all day mester Anon..."
"Fine... You really want to know?"
>"-zquee!- What iz zit?"
"I don't have one, I'm asexual."
>"Zen you are of no use to me."
>She loads her walther, and fires a round into your head.
 
52
>You are deaf dumb and blind Anon.
>And you are playing pinball when all the smells around you change.
>The pinball machine's still here though, so you keep playing.
>Feels fuzzy though.
>Oh well.
>Suddenly, the pinball machine moves.
>Your legs get smashed in.
>You scream out in pain, but cannot hear it.
>Suddenly, something fuzzy is touching your dick.
>Since you can't get laid being deaf, all that pent up sexual energy is unleashed instantly.
>It's an ok day... Or maybe night, you can't see which.
 
53
>You are anorexia Anon.
>And you are trying to come up with a lie to explain why you are so skinny.
>You can't come up with anything good, so you use your go to excuse.
"It's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit!"
>"Yes you do! I don't know of any magic that sustains a lifeform without nourishment! Unless..."
>She goes off on a twenty hour tangent on the possible explanations.
>You die of starvation before she finishes.
>A yellow horse rapes your scrawny corpse.
 
54
>You are braindead Anon
>...
>...
>...
>"Time for your bath Anon"
>...
>...
>...
>"U-um... I'm still sorry for thinking neurosurgeons were your fetish... Incase you can still hear me atleast... -sniff-."
>...
>...
 
55
>Fluttershy looks to you.
>Her gaze is filled with want, and nothing can break it from you.
>She picks you up with her surprisingly strong hooves.
>Putting you to her mouth, she gives you a sniff.
>Slowly, she starts to take you in her mouth.
>She twirls her tongue, reveling in your salty goodness.
>She nibbles on you ever so slightly.
>Then it turns into a bite.
>She eases up and continues massaging you with her tongue, enjoying all your flavor.
>Eventually, when she's content with her work, she swallows.
>What a mare.
>Then, she grabs another from the bag.
>You were a french fry.
 
56
>You brandish you weapon
>Across the field your foe does the same.
>You begin to circle each other, looking for any opening in the others defenses.
>Nothing comes between you but the sound of the wind, and onlookers avert their gazes.
>The stale mate continues for a while.
>But then, you see it.
>Her gave is averted, if only for a moment.
>But a moment is all you need.
>You lung at her, taking a swipe.
>She's quicker than you expected and dodges you easily, returning with a swipe of her own.
>To dodge as she did would be a fatal error, and you parry her weapon with your own.
>She takes wing as you lung for her.
>She dashes for you, and you go to block.
>As you brace yourself, she suddenly ascends.
>The gust of her wings is enough you knock you off your balance, but by your ancestor's graces, you keep yourself from falling.
>You dodge the attack coming before she decides it, her speed not making up for her predictability this time.
>She smacks into the ground, effectively putting herself in a state of vulnerability.
>You take the opportunity that has presented itself, and slash at her.
>She recovers in time, and your weapon hits the earth instead of your opponent.
>She is faster than when you last fought indeed.
"I am impressed Rainbow, you have improved."
>"Well duh..."
>You make for another hit, this time your weapon only finds her mane.
>She lunges at you again, this time swerving behind you.
>Before you can turn to face her, four hooves slam into your back, and you are on the ground.
>You go to get up, but your neck meets her weapon.
>As you prepare for this to end, she swipes it at your head.
>And it explodes into feathers.
>"I finally got you! That makes me the best flyer AND pillow fighter in Equestia!"
"Yah yah, you win."
>"So now what?"
"The usual?"
>"Movies and booze?"
"Yep."
>"Ehh, why not."
 
57
>You are in your office, sipping on a cup of coffee as you play tetris, pretending to work in the event a student comes in.
>Right on cue, the door creaks open.
>"H-hi professor...." Rainbow says nervously.
"What is it?" you say as you close out the tetris window discretely.
>"I'm sure you know about my grade."
"Ah yes, I was actually just going over your recent test." you say, lying out of your ass.
>"W-well... I was wondering... is there anything I can do to get it up?" She begins to look at you more... seductively?
>Oh... Oh! You've dealt with this before many a time, but you decide to lead her on anyways.
"Well, do you have any ideas on what you would prefer to do?"
>"Well, when I said 'anything'," she replies seductively," I mean, "ANYTHING'."
"Well then," you say as you whip out a box of condoms," let's begin."
-An hour later.-
>Your office is covered in balloon animals, along with the rest of the college.
>Outside, Dash is flying around in a penis suit, dropping coconut-cream filled condoms on people and ponies alike.
>You get onto the schools database, and raise her grade to a B whilst muttering to yourself, "Congratulations Dash, you've finally passed the third grade."
 
58
>Day Hallelujia! in Equestria.
>You are Anonymous.
>Formerly Jesus.
>Your dad recently kicked you out, because evidently the big man was tired of you freeloading.
>So, you've moved out of his world and are searching for some other.
>Ah, this will do.
>Seems to be a planet of equines.
>You find a virgin and burst out of her with swag.
>Ick, forgot that leaves you covered with placenta.
>You head over to the fountain and rinse off, walking your way across the water around the edges to the center.
>As you're making sure you get everything out of your hair, you notice something.
>All of the water seems to have turned... red?
>OH SHIT JAYSUS, YOU JUST TURNED IT INTO WINE!
>A mare with a plumb purple mane and coat comes up and takes a sip.
>Then another...
>Then another...
>The next thing you know she's gulping the entire fountain.
>Suddenly she stops...
>Looking down, you see the liquid has become a lot more viscous, and has taken on a crimson color.
>"IT'S BLOOD! THE FOUNTAIN'S BLOOD!"
>Well shit, this is a bad way to start your second coming.
 
59
>Ok, so the first run at it went poorly, you just turned back time though.
>You can't believe dad didn't for all his fuck ups, kind of obvious.
>You decide to skip the virgin this time, rather making your human form out of dust, like Adam.
>Damn, Adam was a BRO.
>You appear in perfection in the middle of the townsquare as before, careful to avoid the fountain.
>A yellow one comes up to you meekly.
>You'll make sure she inherits at least a part of the planet
>"H-hello?"
"Greeting my child. I have come a long way to give you salvation."
>"Thats... nice...."
>She hides behind her mane.
"There is no need to be shy my child."
>"What's you name?"
"I use to be called 'Jesus of Nazarith, but here you may call me, Anon."
>"Well... Anon... I was wondering...."
"You may ask me anything child."
>"How about we go back to my place and rut like stallions?"
>What.
>Looking around, you see many of the females have gathered, and are all staring right at your naked form.
>Turns out there is such thing as "too perfect."
>You flee on foot, but end up tripping over a rock.
>The mares pile on you, and you are left with no choice.
>You stone yourself with the rock you tripped over.
>The mares leave your body quickly, and shortly after you rise again.
>Thank... dad... for reincarnation.
 
60
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtwfSFW1Kik
You know Ponygone and Sorcerer and Sherman and Leucine,
Bastinator and Nomad and Gadget and Wuten
But do you recall?
The most famous writefag of all?"
-
Aether the Autistic Writefag
Had a very fucked up prose,
And if you ever read it
You would even say it blows
-
All of the other writefags
Used to clop and call him names;
They never let poor Aether
Join in any writefag games.
-
"Then one faggy new thread eve,
Betty came to say,
"Aether with your autism so bright,
Wont you write some clop tonight?'"
-
"Then all the writefags loved him
And they shouted out with glee,
"Aether the Autistic writefag,
You'll go down in Hist-or-ry!"'
 
I'm so sorry.
 
61
>Day Windows 7 in Equestria
>You feel...
>Naughty
>Heading up to Luna, you plug a USB into her ass
>"ANONYMOUS! WHAT ART THOU DOING!"
>Into her cooter you plug a USB mouse and keyboard
"Oh, just having a little fun."
>You press her against the wall and immobilize her.
>Placing the mouse and keyboard on her promiscuous rear, you get to work.
>You wiggle the mouse around, bringing her hard-dive out of sleep mode.
>Finding the start menu, you go under options, and select screensaver.
>You then pull up the flash drive's pictures, and select one very special one.
>Oh yes, this will do just nicely.
-
>Day Windows 8 sucks in Equestria
>You watch from your jail cell as Luna meets Twilight in the gardens.
>She's hiding behind a bush as Twilight approaches.
>"Twilight Sparkle, we... require thou's assistance with... an urgent matter."
>"Well sure Luna, what is it?"
>She steps out, and you can barely hold back your laughter at the look on Twilight's face.
>You've set the screensaver in Luna's mane to be a slideshow of your glorious ass.
>Solaire may praise the sun, but that's only because he hasn't seen the way your glorious rear shines and shimmers in Luna's mane.
>Twilight however seems to be vomiting.
>Shame, perhaps you should wipe more often.
>Today was a good day.
 
62
>The birds chirp around you as you take a sip from your slushie.
>It’s a fairly nice day to work. The birds are out and it’s a clear sky.
>That cursed sun is melting your slushie though.
>Why must life be so cruel?
>You look around, checking incase your boss catches you slacking on the job.
>Is it possible to slack when your job is slacking?
>Eh, you don’t care. Better safe than sorry.
>As you glance around the only pony you see is a little green mare.
>And she’s coming this way.
>Oh god, you might have to…
>C-converse!
>She gets closer, and your palms begin to sweat.
>Oh god she’s so close.
>She made eye contact! Shit shit shit!
>You wipe the sweat from your palms, incase she wants a hand shake or…
>Wait, she’s a horse.
>”Hiya! I’ve never seen you around here! What’s your name?”
>She takes a seat next to you, and you open your mouth to speak.
“N-n…”
>”What was that?”
“N-no you.”
>”Umm… okay? I’m Lyra!”
>Oh god you’re going to be sick.
>”So…
>Oh no… you can feel it…
>”What is it you like to do Mr…?”
>You can’t handle it anymore, the spaghetti begins to trickle from your pockets.
>Taking a sip from your slushie, you attempt to act non-chelant.
>As you suck the straw, you notice it’s flavor has changed.
>It’s no longer super blizzard mega strawberry.
>It’s now Tomato and Basil sauce.
“B-b-b-b”
>The flow increases from your pockets, and the mare has taken notice.
>”S-sir? What’s going on?”
>The more she speaks, the more it flows.
>Soon, you have a small mound of pasta surrounding you.
>It’s not even just spaghetti now, you think you’ve even spotted some ravioli.
>”I-I’m going to go…”
>At last, your pockets can no longer keep up with the flow, and they burst.
>The noodly explosion begins to spread, not stopping at the confines of the park.
>Within an hour Ponyville is covered in your fettuccini alfredo.
>By the time Celestia planned to set the sun, all of Equestria is covered, and the Crystal Empire’s boarders are being threatened.
>With Celestia and Luna buried under the Italian tsunami, no one is left to set the sun.
>The world is destroyed, coated in a miles deep layer of sun-baked lasagna.
>Bad end.