>”C’mon, push! Push!” >your now-two-month pregnant fluffy mare, Eva, is currently in labor >as with all fluffy dams, she’s swelled like a balloon >however, she’s at least twice the size of the average pregnant mare >using your incredible deductive reasoning skills, you guessed that this probably just meant a larger litter than normal >”Daddeh! Babbeh! Babbeh!” >you look a bit closer and see a foal’s head poking out >”Okay, that’s good. That’s good. Keep going.” >”Daddeh! Babbeh hew-AHHHHHH!” >she’s in a lot of pain >you wish you had something to give her, but an aspirin doesn’t look like it would help right now >the foal slides out onto a clean linoleum tile >it’s not the most comfortable thing, but you didn’t want your towels covered in afterbirth >”Whewe babbe-“ >she lets loose another shriek >this causes the foal to start chirping, but at least it’s quiet >”Eva! Shush! You’re scaring your kid!” >”B-babbeh?” >”Yeah, babby. Uh, baby. Baby. Right here.” >”Wuv babbeh-“ >she’s cut off by the sounds of more foals and blood slopping against a tile you now need to melt and douse in rubbing alcohol >”Eva! Look! More babies!” >”Moh…babbehs…” >you slide the foals over to her >she seems tired from the whole ordeal >can’t blame her though >you’d want to pass out if you just had quintuplets without any anesthetic >”Mummah…wuv…” >she shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath >you sit down for a few minutes, watching the foals >all earths, all of varying color >pink, red, blue, orange, and green >the pink one is a girl, the rest are boys >they’re snuggled up in her fluff >you realize that the foals still need to be cleaned off >”Eva. Eva, come on. Wake up.” >you poke her in the side >nothing >”Eva?” >you push two fingers under her throat >no pulse >”Oh, shit…” >you look for any signs of life >none >no breathing, no pulse, and she’s getting steadily colder >”Oh, no, no, no. Goddamn it.” >you shake her, waking up the foals >”Come on, get up! Fuck, just get up!” >you know it’s futile >you slump into your chair >you should’ve been more prepared for this >fluffy births are likely to end in death normally >quite a few complications based around their genetics or something along those lines >and Eva had a litter twice as big as the average fluffy >what were the odds that she would survive it? >you scoop up the five foals >they begin chirping for their mother >you set them down in the sink, and go dispose of Eva’s corpse >you dig a small hole in the backyard and set her down in the unmarked grave >you rush back into the kitchen >the foals are blindly stumbling about, chirping >you grab a bottle of liquid soap from beneath the cupboard and turn on the water >you don’t want it to be too hot, but it needs to wash off the caked-on blood >after filling up the sink and stirring in the soap, you wash each fluffy one by one >they don’t seem to like the water very much, but it needs to be done >following the brief washing, you dry them off with a soft little hand towel >you rack your mind for the rest of the details >they’ve been cleaned >foals don’t usually eat until later, but it’s already the middle of the night, so that can wait for tomorrow >names >you look down at the lot, huddled up in the towel >”Alright, let’s see here…Pink, you’re Pinky. Blue, Inky. Red, Blinky. Orange, Clyde. And Green, you can be…Dr. Ignacious, the Fourth.” >oh god, that was stupid >”Actually, on second thought, you can be Todd. Hope you like it.” >you check your watch >12:36 AM >it’s pretty much time for bed, even though they were just born and all >they’re probably tired, anyways >you head upstairs and grab Eva’s old bed from the closet >when she was just a foal, she slept in this massive, oversized, plush bed >oversized for a fluffy pony, that is >you went all out, back then >it’ll have to do for tonight >you bring the bed to the foals, and they instinctively crawl in >it must still have Eva’s scent on it or something >regardless, most of them fall asleep right away >you very carefully carry the bed back upstairs, into your room >you set it down on the floor, near the foot of the bed >you turn out the lights and flop down on the mattress >today’s been a long day, and you’re tired >you fall asleep within minutes   -------------------------------------   >you’re awakened by a combination of mewling and chirping >once again, your amazing deductive skills tell you that this means the foals are hungry >you heave yourself out of bed and grab the foals >you really need to start getting a little bucket or something for all this carrying >you head down to the kitchen, and set them on the floor >you would put them on the table, but you don’t want them to, you know, fall off and brutally die >Inky waddles over and grabs at your foot >he chirps and tries to get milk from your ankles >Hnnnnngh. >you pat him on the head and gently shove him away >so, what do fluffies drink >well, milk, obviously >but you don’t exactly have any fresh mare’s milk on hand >and Eva isn’t exactly here to provide >you hop on the Internet and look it up >”fluffy milk”, “substitute fluffy pony milk”, “how to make fluffy pony milk” yields mostly results for smoothies made from fluffy ponies >you look and look, but can’t seem to find anything >until you find a single, lone webpage >it’s a little forum dedicated to all things fluffy pony >a helpful anon tells you that fluffy milk is easily replaced >you just use milk from any other animal and mix it a bit of sugar >simple enough, you suppose >you grab a cup and pour in some 2% >you find some sugar packets behind the toaster and add in one of those >after about ten minutes of mixing to make sure it’s completely stirred in, you realize that you don’t have anything by way of a baby bottle >it’s Sunday too, so almost everything is closed >after some digging around, you find a turkey baster in your bottom drawer >it’s not much by way of a medicine dropper or bottle, but it’ll have to do >you suck up some of the milk and point the end at Clyde >you push it against his mouth >he very slowly opens his mouth and wraps his mouth around the end >he starts suckling >you squeeze the tiniest amount of milk out >he instantly pulls back and spits it out, coughing >Clyde runs over to the other foals, crying >”What? What’s wrong?” >and then it hits you >”Oh, shit. Sorry. I forgot to heat it up.” >you stick the baster and cup in the microwave >after a brief forty seconds, you’re ready to go >the milk seems just warm enough to not cause any burns >you offer it to Clyde again, but he’s not willing to try it out a second time >”Alright, that’s fine. Todd?” >he latches onto the end right away >he must’ve been pretty damned hungry >THERE GO YOUR OBSERVATIONAL SKILLS AGAIN >the rest of the foals see him drink, and they seem to decide that it’s safe to drink >you make the round, and everyone has their fill >Clyde’s a bit hesitant, but he gives in >you make yourself a drink and sit back in your chair >you notice that the foals have all opened up their eyes, and seem to be communicating through chirps and mewls, somehow >you take a swig of your morning coffee >foals mature pretty quickly >fortunately, this just means that they eat solids after just a few days >maybe you’ll make spaghetti     ------------------------------------   >two days have passed since the foals first ate >since then, they’ve been eating solid foods >they had spaghetti the first night, but they’ve been regressed to kibble >they complained, but you explained that spaghetti was for special occasions >oh yeah, and they learned to speak on their own >you’re not quite sure how, you just woke them up one day and got greeted by an almost collective cry of “Daddeh!” >that was pretty adorable, you have to admit >you got Eva when she was about a month old, so you didn’t exactly do this before >regardless, you’re busy preparing lunch when you hear Blinky’s voice behind you >”Whewe mummeh?” >you freeze >you turn around to see the other four fluffies staring at him, confused >”Mummeh?” they repeat back >they start getting worried, as if the very word triggered some kind of genetic response >”Mummeh? Mummeh! Whewe mummeh?!” >they start running around, looking for her >Todd and Pinky start to cry, and by the looks of it, the rest are about to burst into tears as well >you need to talk with them about this >”Alright, everyone. Come with me.” >you lead them to the living room and plop down on the couch >they all sit down right in front of you >with the exception of Inky, who’s trying to get up on your lap >you help him up and begin to speak >”Your mom…isn’t here, anymore. She’s gone.” >all of the foals start tearing up >Inky looks up at you >”B-buh…whewe gone?” >”She’s someplace else now. I don’t know where.” >everyone except Blinky bursts into tears at the news >”But it’s okay. Because I’m your dad, now.” >Pinky looks up at you through tears >”Y-yuu Daddeh?” >”Um, yeah. ‘Daddeh’.” >she sniffles and hugs your leg >you lift her up too >you all sit there for a few moments before you speak up >”I…I think this calls for spaghetti for lunch.” >their tears turn to smiles >Todd looks up at you >”Yuu good daddeh. Wuv daddeh.” >you pet him and stand up >”Alright, then! Spaghetti time!” >”SKETTIES TIII!”   ---------------------------------------   >as of today, the fluffies have been alive for one week >you figure that today you’ll teach them how to use a litter box >”Okay, everyone. You see this? This is the litter box. Alright? Repeat after me…” >”Widduh bock…”, comes the reply >”Close enough. Now, you know when your tummy feels funny after you eat too much spaghetti?” >they all nod >”And then you make the stuff that ‘doesn’t smell pretty’?” >they nod again >”That’s called poop. And a few other things. But when you need to poop, make sure you do it in there. Clyde, repeat that.” >he looks around for a few seconds, nervously >”Fwuffy nee’ poopies…in widduh bock!” >”Alright, close enough. Again. At least you understand it.” >Todd rushes past the other fluffy and gets in the litter box >he takes a shit and hops out >”Yeah, like that! Excellent. Wow, I didn’t expect you to catch on so fast.” >Pinky nudges Eva’s old ball over to you with her nose >”Good fwuffys pway baww?” >”Good fluffies play ball…what?” >”Pway baww…wuv…daddeh?” >”Oh, fine, that’ll do. Let’s go outside!” >”OWSIIE!” >the group follows you into the backyard >you throw the ball about three feet above the fluffies >”Hurry! Catch the ball!” >”Wan’ baww!” >”Fwuffy geh baww!” >”Wheee!” >they all slam into one another, and go sprawling in different directions >Inky starts giggling >this sets of a chain reaction of giggles, until even you end up laughing, too >you all play with the ball for a few more hours, throwing it up in the air, catching it, rolling it around, falling, laughing, the works >as soon as it gets dark out, you all pile into the house >you lie down on the couch and stare at the ceiling >you begin drifting off, when you feel a slight tug on your pant leg >”Huh? What is it?” >you look down and see Pinky on her hind hooves, holding her arms out to you >you pick her up and set her on the couch with you >she hugs your neck, mutters “wuv daddeh”, and slowly falls asleep >again, just as you start to fall asleep yourself, you hear a hushed whisper of  “daddeh?” >this time, it’s the other four fluffies asking to come up with you >oh, what the hell, why not >you carefully lift them up, so you don’t wake up Pinky >it doesn’t matter, though >they all lie in a big pile of fluff on your gut >”Wuv ‘oo, daddeh…” Clyde whispers >the other three fluffies echo him >”Love you too, fluffies. Good night.” >”Nii…” >Blinky can’t even finish his sentence before he falls asleep >you don’t blame him >they certainly look pretty comfortable >and so are you >you sleep soundly that night >with a ball of fluffy ponies on your stomach