">Stomp stomp stomp stomp...
>You hang your head in the uncomfortably warm interior of your mech.
>Not even the jumbo sized cup holder could make your day.
>Despite the air conditioning on full, you only receive warm air through the designated operations area.
>Another buggy result of human technology and alien horse hardware.
>The lush greenery of your surroundings formed a humid hell that for whatever reason, made the sensors read ghost signals through the wisps that draped across the land.
>Supposedly it was haunted, the place of an old battle zone where old machines and probes lived on without direction.
>There’s a series of heavy thuds and you sit up to a massive eye staring into the side of your windshield.
>It blinks and you just dully wave at it, tapping the communications switch. “Morning, Daisy.”
>The face pulls back to an equine head, helmeted with a thick, protective visor snapped up and out of the way.
>Cheery and enthusiastic. she was out of place with the rest of the scenery.
>The monsterhorse smiled sweetly as she took her standard position next to you in the line of squad members.
>With an exaggerated hoof motion like she was scattering seeds across the ground, she happily greeted you.
>”Good dawn, human ally!”
>One of your eyebrows shot upwards.
>She was usually chipper, but today she was sporting a bizarre change.
>Her entire coat, main, and tail, were entirely green.
>"Hey, hey, human."
"Yes?"
>There came a squeak from the speakers, furiously translating.
>”Suckle upon my face for I am imported from Ireland!”
"What?"
>Her grin faded into nervousness.
>She looked to a leg-mounted screen for a second, reading giant horse runes blinking across it.
>”Keh-kuh-keesh mee, aye arhm, I-i-i-reesh,” she stammered in her attempt at English.
"You mean 'kiss me, I'm Irish?'"
>She takes a beat to listen to her own translator when suddenly, she looks astounded.
>She drops any pretense of practicing her "humanish" and babbles on, letting the translator pick up the slack for her.
>"You're actually Irish?!"
"Not what I meant! I was just trying to show you how to say it."
>"Oh, well, i-it was the day of Patrick the Saint."
"Saint Patrick's Day?"
>She nodded eagerly.
>"Affirmative, human!"
>In the silence that followed, she scanned her eyes up and down your bipedal warmachine for a moment before squinting to look into your pilot chamber.
>She grew a sly smile.
>"Why aren't you wearing green?"
-------
>You glance at the display.
>The silhouette of your mech is all green except one part, now a dangerous yellow.
>You swivel your machine's torso and leer out the side of the windshield.
>There's a big, dark green horse with its teeth latched onto your mech's ass.
>Soaked with the swampy water, she's obviously had some wading through the mired waters.
>You hope their translators convey emotion like yours does.
"Daisy!"
>The pony just growls at you and shakes and twists the plating in her grip.
>The metal screeches and groans before tearing off completely with disturbing ease.
>You can't see the damage properly from where you sit, but the warning indicators tell you more than enough.
>She spits it out but you can still see bits of shrapnel wedged between her teeth like bits of popcorn.
>Doesn't that hurt?
>As if sensing your thoughts, Daisy gets this sly look.
>"I figured out how to pinch."
"Daisy, what the hell is wrong with you, what if you bit into something important?!"
>Her ears pin back and she snarls something, the translation piping into your speakers.
>"Rrrrr, I'm a strong meat-eater too, now give me my lip-to-lip-contact in a romantic manner!""
"Daisy, shoo, go away."
>She tilts her head to the side and mumbles some more of her alien language.
>"Deeshya ullen, sh-shoosia."
>Something something about shoes.
>The translator picks up the slack, chiming with a mock voice, trying to match what it recognizes as a female speaker with an automated girl's voice.
>"What do shoes have to do with this?"
"No, no, that's a translation error, what I mean is-"
>You stop as you hear a second set of metallic horseshoes entering proximity.
>Another hulking quadruped rounded the side of a hill towards the two of you.
>It is a familiar green color.
"Daisy?"
>The newcomer snapped its head around with a squeak.
>"Eep, don't shoot yet, time-out!"
>That sure sounds like Daisy.
>Only, you turn between the two horse soldiers, who are busy sizing each other up.
>Same mane, same coat, same tail, same armor suits.
>You get a moment of inspiration and check their eye color.
>Nope, same peachy color.
>"H-hey, I'm the real Daisy!"
>"Nuh uh!"
>"Yeah huh!"
>They turn towards you.
>"Human, human, I'm Daisy!"
>"But, but I'm Daisy, ally!"
>Your targeting reticle sweeps back and forth.
>Normally it would highlight and identify allies but the transponders were shut off for this exercise.
>"I'm the best kisser~"
>"I'm the best [translation missing]!"
>"Ask me something about humans!"
>"No, ask me!"
>"Show the-"
"Stop!"
"Daisy."
>They both perk up."
>"Yes?" they say in unison.
"Wipe off your armor."
>Daisy personalized her suit early on.
>"Oh, clever!" the newcomer says.
>"That's my human!" the one with the metal in her mouth bobs her head.
>Mud and plant life is quickly wiped off of the newcomer's armor with a hoof, still dripping with swamp sludge, to reveal a cartoony picture of a flower.
>Definitely Daisy.
"So if that's you, then who's that?"
>Real Daisy backs up worriedly, ducking behind you.
>"I-I don't know!"
>You take a step forward
>Before you can get to the bottom of this, the dark horse lurches forward and places a pair of hooves on the shoulders of your mech with a couple of loud bangs, steadying herself.
>Her eyes look you over for just a moment before those metal-clad hooves push on you with a noise of actuators and hydraulics in action.
>The safety harnesses in your machine strain against you as you're sent stumbling, mech and all, backwards into Daisy, who reflexively rears up.
>The two of you end up in a heap in the mud.
>Ignoring your cohort's whining, you check an exterior camera feed.
>As smeared with mud as the view is, you see the mystery mare dart away into the safety of the marshlands.
>To either side of your pilot chamber's window, long legs reach out to the sky like spires, reinforced with the leggings your squadmates wear.
>You're rocked back and forth as the ground supporting your mech is in fact a giant pony trying to reposition herself.
>Her face manages to poke into your peripheral view and a hoof reaches down to wipe muck off of her face.
>"Are you okay, human?"
"Yeah, just a little rattled."
>The caring smile she gives you abruptly changes out for a mischievous grin as her forelegs reach around and hold your mech against her.
"Daisy?"
>"Calm down, ally," she coos and starts to eyeball your mech.
>"Finally, I get to....HEY!"
"What?"
>"Someone already pinched you."
>Oh, right, the pony-bitten piece of your mech.
>She looks heartbroken, if you can indeed say that about a horse.
>In the awkward silence of her breathing so close to your pilot's seat that it's about as loud as a jumbo fan, you hear metal scraping metal.
>The mech shifts again and she shuts her eyes peacefully while you check external cameras.
>She's doing something but you can't tell what until she sighs contentedly.
>"Oh well, happy Saint Patrick's Day, human."
>It's a monsterhorse hug.
>She's got you trapped in a hug.
>She looks so peaceful until you start wiggling the controls.
>"H-hey, what are you doing?"
"If Wave Runner catches us like this..."
>You didn't have to say anymore.
>"Oh, oh no!" she mewls.
>"Quick, get off me!"
"Hold on, it's tricky to get up like this; help me up!"
>"I'm trying!" she grunts, jostling you around in your seat.
>She continues squirming noisily when wouldn't you know it, someone shows up.
>"S-squad leader Wave Runner!"
>"Daisy, human, I know training's over, but if you're going to do that, do it back at the barracks."
>She continues on but pauses for one last look back as your mech gets to its feet.
>"I expect a debriefing in two minutes."
>Were her eyes always a funky peach color?
>You and your squadmate trudge back to the base in a huff.
>When everyone meets together and Hoof Step once again comes in right behind the squad leader's own scores, you and Daisy explain your abnormally low score with an abnormally weird day.
>The squad leader orders everyone to admit who was responsible.
>Not a single one fesses up, though the ever sharp-tongued, Big Bounty, is more than willing to laugh.
>Daisy ends up thinking it was a ghost of the haunted swamp.
>Such is life with the mecha mares.