1/9 >Own one fluffy pony. >Hugo; a yellow unicorn stallion with green mane. >Spoiled brat fluffy, but that's as much your fault as his. >Has a big safe room with toys. >Plenty of food. >Fenced in back-yard...net above to keep out hawks. >Everything his little fluffy heart could desire. >You even let him have friends. >Sometimes strays and ferals come into the yard. >If they're friendly and non-aggressive you let them stay a while.   >Hugo enjoys playing with these "fwiends." >When it gets dark you bring Hugo inside. >Strays always whimper and beg to come inside. >"Pwease new daddee?" "Come inside?" "Haf nummies?" >That's a big N-O. >One fluffy pony is enough. >They'll sit in the back yard and cry for hours. >If they're too noisy you go out and spray them with the hose. >Either way they're gone by morning. One day... >Hugo hops up on your lap. >"Daddee...fwuffy pwease wan' fwiends." "Hugo, I let your fluffy pony friends play in the backyard all the time." >"Nuuu! Fwuffy wan' fwiends come inside! Fwiends stay!" "No, Hugo...there's only room for one fluffy pony here." >Hugo cries, begs and even throws a small tantrum. >Maybe he does need some friends. >Maybe you can teach Hugo a lesson.   2/9 >Saturday...home from work. >Fluffy pony is out in the backyard, playing with some strays. >5 adults, three foals. >They don't seem to have a leader. >This is a good group for your little experiment. "Hugo, come on over here!" >Your fluffy rushes over happily. "Do you like these fluffies?" >"Yes! Yes daddee! Fwuffy wuv fwiends! Fwiends can stay, come inside pwease?" "Okay...yes, your friends can stay if they want." >Hugo looks up at you dumbly. >It takes his feeble fluffy mind a few moments to register. >"Fwiends...stay? Wive wif fwuffy inside?" "Yes Hugo, that's what I said." >"Yay! Wuv daddee!" >Hugo scampers off to tell stray fluffies. >This is gonna be a lot of work for you, but hopefully it'll be worth it.   >Your new herd rushes inside. >9 fluff-balls; bouncing off your heels and falling over themselves. >For 30 minutes the new arrivals rush around, exploring everything. >It's okay...house is pretty much fluffy-safe. "Okay fluff-balls, gather around now!" >You're mobbed by fluffy ponies. >"Yay!" "Gif new daddee huggies!" "When nummies?" "No hugs now...you need to learn the rules." >Explain the litterbox. >Explain the concept of meal-times. >Explain that fluffies must stay in the safe-room when you are gone. >Wonder how much they actually understand.   3/9 >First week is rough. >You clean up a lot of poop. >You break up a lot of fights. >There's a lot of broken furniture and dug up flowerbeds. >Fluffies spend a lot of time in the "sorry box." >Hugo seems to be enjoying it though. >He's taken the role of Alpha. >Thankfully he's not referring to himself as "Smarty Fwiend." >He's the first to rat another fluffy out when they've done something bad. >Other fluffies defer to him when it comes to food or toys. >That's not gonna last...you know it. >You try hard to give each fluffy equal attention. >Hugo doesn't like this. >He cries and complains when he doesn't get extra attention. "You wanted your friends to live here, Hugo...now you're all equal." >Yeah...like a fluffy brain could ever understand that. >"Whaaahh! Fwuffy hewe fiwst!" >Thwack him on the nose before he goes full-blown tantrum. >Hugo is silent, and sniffles a few times. >Tears pooling up in his big eyes. >Times are a-changin'.   4/9 >Things aren't so cheerful by week three. >Other fluffies are getting used to living in your house. >Hugo no longer seems special. >He's losing his grip on power. >Fluffies no longer wait for him to eat first. >Toys are now shared. >Your attention is split between 9 fluffies. One night at bed-time... >Herd fluffy ponies into safe-room. >Normal complaining and whimpering. >"Fwuffy wan' pway!" "Nu tiwed!" "Pwease nu scawy dawk time!" >They'll be asleep in minutes. >Hugo is last to go inside. "Come on Hugo...bed time." >"Pwease fwuffy can stay wif daddee?" "No Hugo, fluffy ponies all sleep here in the safe-room." >Hugo rubs against your leg. >"Nuuuu...fwuffy am speciaw fwuffy...stay wif daddee." "You know better, go to sleep Hugo." >Fluffy shit storm breaks out. >Hugo clamps onto your leg, begins crying. >"Nuuu! Dun wan safe-woom! Fwuffy wan stay wif daddee!" >Full blown temper tantrum. >*groan* He's probably just tired. >Pick him up...kicking and screaming. >Lay him in the fluff pile. >Hugo bucks his way out rudely. >Other fluffies complain; "Owwie!" "Why fwuffy huwt?" >Hugo rushes the door...you close it in time. >Hear him thumping and crying to be let out. >Ignore it...he'll tire out soon.   5/9 Three hours later... >Your bed-time. >Finish beer...brush teeth. >Check on fluffy ponies like you always do. >ohshit.jpg >Hugo is still banging on the door. >You can hear his little voice yelling. >Open it up. >Hugo rushes out and hugs your leg. >"Yay! Daddee come get fwuffy!" "Hugo, why aren't you in bed?" >Other fluffies look tired & angry. >Foals are crying. >Hugo's bratty behavior has kept them all awake. >Even worse, he's torn up pillows and broken toys. "Get over here Hugo." >Pick him up by the scruff. >Hugo immediately knows you're mad. >He's not getting what he wants. >Switches into apology panic mode. >"Fwuffy sowwee! Fwuffy be good!" "Fluffy is going to the sorry-box!" >Hugo wails in dismay. >"Nuuu! Pwease nu sowee box! Fwuffy pwomise be good!" >Normal sorry-box is too narrow to sleep in. >He can't stand up all night...you want him to sleep. >Lay Hugo down in a packing box. >Toss in a sweatshirt as a blanket. >"Nuu! Pwease...Hugo nu wan sweep in sowee box!" "Bad fluffies stay in the sorry box, Hugo.  Good Night." >Leave him alone in the storage room. >He can make all the noise he wants in there.   6/9 >Things don't get much better. >It's been a month now. >The other fluffies are doing fine. >It's a lot of work taking care of 9 fluffies. >Hugo is the worst though. Snack time... >You have a bunch of grapes to give out as treats. >All fluffies eagerly beg for "nummies." >Hopping excitedly at your feet. >You give the first one to a meek filly you call Bluebell. >That triggers another tantrum from selfish Hugo. >He bites Bluebell's ear. >She squeals, drops her treat and flees. >Before Hugo can eat her grape you snatch him up roughly. >Hugo cries at percieved injustice. >"Whhaaahh! Why daddee gif fwuffy owwieS!?" >Bad fluffy goes in the sorry-box. >The real one this time...that forces fluffy to stand. >Give all the others their snack. >Take 15 minutes to get whimpering Bluebell out of her hiding place under the couch. >Make sure she gets a grape too. >Once Hugo's hour is up, let him out of the sorry box. >He's sniffling, face fluff soaked with tears. >"Weggies huwt...fwuffy hungwy." "That's too bad, Hugo.  The sorry box makes your legs hurt...and you missed snack time because you were bad." >Hugo cries and protests but you set him down. >Quick whack on the butt...tell him to go play. 10 minutes later... >Hear crash from the kitchen. >Hugo has knocked over stool. >You see him scurry out of the kitchen...a trail of grapes behind. >He's easy to catch.   7/9 >Hugo tries to escape with the entire bunch of grapes. >You grab him by the tail. >This is too much. >Hugo is howling and throwing a tantrum. >Whaaaa! Why dummy fwuffies get nummies not fwuffy!? Fwuffy wan'!" >Kicking his little legs frantically. >You don't like to use the sorry-stick. >Today there is no doubt. >Fetch sorry-stick from its place in the closet. >Hugo goes ape shit when he sees it. >"Whhhahh! Nuuu! Fwuffy nu wan' spankies! Pwease daddee nuuu!!!" >Put fluffy over the arm of the couch. >Yank up tail. >Proceed to whip fluffy butt with sorry stick. >Hugo screams and thrashes, but can not escape. >You give fluffy a good long ass whipping. >Fluffy gets another hour in the sorry-box. >After that; locked alone in the safe room until dinner-time. >This started as an experiment to teach Hugo a lesson. >It's actually you learning. >Hugo is worst fluffy.   8/9 That night before bedtime. >Fluffies playing or watching TV with you. >Hugo approaches you meekly. "Do you have something to say, Hugo?" >"Fwuffy no wike odder fwuffies. Fwuffy wan' fwuffies go 'way." "But you wanted your friends to stay." >"Fwuffy no wike fwiends.  Fwiends dummy fwuffies." >You know the problem is with Hugo, not the others. >But this was the desired result of the experiment. >Hugo has learned sharing his home isn't all fun & games. "Okay Hugo...we'll find new homes for your friends."   >Over the next week you seek out good homes. >Some of your fluffies are unhappy to leave. >All of them take it well though. >They've all lived as strays. >They're just happy not to be thrown away again. >Soon you're down to your last two. >Hugo & Bluebell. >You'd really like to keep Bluebell. >She's polite, quiet, never demanding. >She'd be traumatized by moving to a new home. "What do you say we keep Bluebell, Hugo?" >Hugo puffs up his cheeks. >"Nu dummy fwuffies! Awl fwuffies go 'way!" "I'm sure there's room for two fluffy ponies." >"Nu! One fwuffy onwy!" "Well, it's hard to find a good home for Bluebell...she's so shy." "Thwow fwuffy out! Dummy fwuffy wive outside!" >You look at both your fluffy ponies. >Bluebell; sitting quietly, playing with blocks. >Hugo; cheeks puffed, demanding you throw Bluebell out. >The choice is easy.   9/9 "You're right Hugo...there's only room for one fluffy." >Grab him by his fluff. >Hugo squeals in pain. "And I'm throwing the bad fluffy out of my house." >Slide open back door. >Toss Hugo out on the grass. >"Owwiee!" >Close the door. >Shocked, Hugo scrambles back and scrapes his hooves on the glass. >"Fwuffy wan' inside! Why daddee put fwuffy outside?" >Ignore him...he's not your fluffy anymore. >Bluebell is. >Sit down, pat your lap. >Bluebell smiles and accepts your invitation. >She never dared sit in your lap while bully Hugo was around. >Fluffy happily curls up in your lap as you scratch her ears. >That night you both eat spaghetti. >Bluebell goes to sleep in the safe-room without complaint.   >After dark, Hugo is still at the back door, crying and scratching. >Hooves rubbed raw on the glass. >Face fluff soaked with tears. >"Fwuffy pwease inside, daddee! So scawy dawk!" >Slide the glass door open. >He tries to run inside but you boot him back. >Confused Hugo looks up at you and bawls. >Blast him with the hose. >That's how you've always dealt with fluffy strays.