Maud:
 
>Day What Do You Wanna Do With Your Life in Equestria
>It's been a pretty good morning so far.
>Fluttershy apparently forgot to come by and torment you, which means you got to sleep in.
>Of course, that also means you've only got an hour or so before work instead of the usual two.
>Fucking Fluttershy.
>As you step out onto the porch to grab your paper, there's the sound of a hurricane blowing through.
>You sneer and look up to the sky.
>Hurricane Pinkie Pie...
>"Nonnalicious!"
>She squeals, crashing into the ground with an audible thud.
>But she pays it no mind as she tucks and rolls her way to the bottom of your stairs.
>Pinkie ends up looking at you from her back, grinning like an idiot.
>You sigh and rub your forehead.
"Morning, Pinkie."
>Day has just gone to shit.
>The party pony perks up at her name and bounces to her feet.
>And then keeps bouncing, her hair sproinging in time with her leaps.
>"Hey Nonongo, guess what!"
"Chicken butt?"
>Pinkie pauses for a moment, then giggles.
>"No, silly! My sister Maud's in town and I'm taking her around to meet all my friends!"
>But you're not...
>Oh right, this is Pinkie Pie.
>Friendship is not optional with this mare.
>And she's got a sister?
>Ugggggh.
>Before you can duck inside, Pinkie grabs your hand and tugs you off the porch.
>"Come on, she's right over here!"
>Great.
>You don't even try to dig your heels into the ground any more, it's just not worth it.
>Pinkie tugs you across the lawn to a rather drab looking pony.
>Compared to everyone else in Ponyville, she seems incredibly out of place.
>The seconds pass by before you finally clear your throat.
"Uh, hi. I'm Anonymous."
>The pony stares at you with a reserved inquisitiveness, but doesn't say a word.
>What the hell is wrong with this horse?
>You try to walk away, but when you turn your head you spot Pinkie bouncing excitedly.
>She's not going to let you just step out.
>What a mess.
>Clearing your throat, you try again.
"You must be Pinkie's sister, Maud. It's nice to meet you."
>Another moment of silence.
>Then, she breathes in.
>The seconds tick by as you wait, feeling to hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
>Finally, Maud sighs.
>"Yeah."
>...
>How underwhelming.
>And so flat.
>Time to spice things up a bit.
>Turning back to Pinkie, you jerk your thumb in her guest's direction.
"You sure that she's your sister?"
>The pink pest giggles and nods.
>"I am, surely!"
>Snorting, you cross your arms over your chest and scowl in Maud's direction.
"You know I hate it when you call me Shirley."
>Pinkie giggles again and you manage to crack a smile as well.
>But Maud is still stone-faced.
>Wow.
>Tough crowd.
>You decide to try another approach.
"So, Maud."
>The apparently disinterested pony focuses her attention back on you.
"What is it you like to do?"
>Another deep breath, but the words come faster this time.
>"I like rocks."
>...
>It's official, this girl is Pinkie's Pie's sister.
>Her flat, boring, uninteresting, completely polar opposite sister.
>How twisted.
>Wait a second, that gives you an idea.
>Smirking, you shoot Pinkie a look and then turn your attention back to Maud.
"So, you like rocks, huh?"
>Maud nods.
>Perfect.
"I know a song about rocks."
>You clear your throat and hum a note.
>Behind you, Pinkie Pie gasps.
>"Nonny, no!"
>You smirk and mentally chastise the party pony for being off her guard.
>You're not allowed to sing after last time.
>Fuck that noise.
>You can feel Pinkie rushing towards you in an attempt to slap her hooves over your mouth.
>But too late.
>You thrust your fist into the air and roar.
"I wanna rock!"
http://youtu.be/ThOXlmVbQGs
>Pinkie's sent flying through the air by the echo of your voice as the sound of guitars explode around your person.
>Maud's mane is blown back, and a look of momentary surprise crosses her features
>As she gapes, you repeat yourself.
"I want to rock!"
>All across the town, ponies stick their heads out of windows and doors, echoing "Rock!" right back at you.
>And again the echo pushes back the encroaching Pinkie Pie, leaving you with a smile on your face.
"I wanna rock!"
>Thrusting your imaginary mic towards Maud, you give her an encouraging smile.
>But she doesn't join in.
>The music begins to fade into the background, when her shoulders heave.
>Maud takes a deep breath, the chords thrumming back to full force as she opens her mouth...!
>"...rock..."
>And with that singled deadpanned syllable, the song falls apart.
>Pinkie tackles you to the ground and stuff her tail into your mouth, successfully gagging you.
>As you glare up at the drab pony, Maud shifts her weight from one side to the other, a gentle frown spreading across her lips.
>"Sorry, we don't do much singing on the farm."
>Fucking rock farmers.
>You sigh and wait until the song magic dissipates completely and Pinkie Pie climbs off of you.
>She pouts and shakes her head.
>"Nonny, you should know better than to sing. Nopony can keep up with you and your weird songs!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
>Snorting, you sit down in the yard and scowl at the two ponies.
>After a moment, Maud smiles and walks up to you.
>She stares into your eyes for the longest time before taking a breath and clearing her throat.
>"I did like your song, what I heard of it."
>...Wait.
>What?
>Somebody, likes your songs?
>As you gulp, Pinkie grabs her sister and begins tugging her down the road.
>"Maudie, don't encourage him! Now come on, I want to introduce you to Gummy and my other best friends!"
>The rock pony gives a gentle grunt, following along behind her sister.
>But she shoots one last glance back at you.
>And you can almost swear you see a smile on her lips.
>Swallowing again, you get to your feet and dust yourself off before going inside.
"F-fucking rock ponies..."
 
 
Two Boots:
 
>Day Two Boots in Equestria
>Wake up
>Do your usual thing
>Go down for breakfast when there's a knock on the door.
"Son of a bitch..."
>Stagger over to the door, grabbing a boot along the way.
>Shove your foot inside and then open the door.
>Fluttershy smiles up at you in her usual way.
>"Good morning, Anon!"
>A breathy squeak escapes at the end.
>God that's cute.
>You sigh and cross your arms over your chest.
"Morning Butter Stutter."
>The cream colored mare's face goes flush as she stares at the ground, dragging her hoof back and forth.
>Great, now she's shut down.
>You can never tell if she's ashamed or aroused when she gets like this.
>Maybe both.
>Clearing your throat, you draw her attention back to you.
"So, what is it today?"
>As though snapping out of a daze, Fluttershy smiles up at you.
>"Oh, yes. Um, Anon, are manicures your fetish?"
>...God damn, it finally happened.
>This bitch is running out of ideas.
>Though, a manicure does sound nice.
>You glance down at your damaged nails and frown.
>Fluttershy gasp as you show an interest in one of her ideas.
>"Oh, oh my! I'll set up a spa appointment right away!"
>Without waiting for your answer, she turns to walk away.
>And then you see it.
>Her flank.
>The perfect target.
>Grinning, you let her get a short distance away from you before breaking into a sprint
>As you approach, you shore up your steps until you're right behind her.
>And then you give that cunt the boot!
>Literally.
>Somehow your boot got stuck in her snatch, and she clamped down as she started flying through the air.
>Thankfully your footwear came off and you didn't go with her.
>Holding your hand over your eyes, you watch as the mumbling mare sails through the air and crashes off in the distance.
"Heh. Nice."
>Whistling a small tune, you stroll back inside.
>Just as you're pouring your milk, there's another knock on the door.
>Taking a deep breath, you sigh and look to your lone boot.
"I guess today's a two-fer."
>Shoving your foot into the boot, you open the door and force a smile at...
>Fireworks explode in your face, blinding you to the outside world.
>As you scramble to regain your sight, you hear a booming voice cry out:
>"Behold, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!"
>Fucking shit.
>The dots eventually fade into the background and you glare at the magician pony.
"Warn a guy, eh? You could have blinded me."
>Puffing out her cheeks, Trixie shoots your look straight back at you.
>"Trixie cares not for your concerns, she is here on business."
"Business, huh?"
>You sigh and lean against your door frame.
"Listen, I don't think I have anything you want to buy."
>Unflinchingly, The Awful and Terrible Cuntsy frowns up at you and furrows her brow.
>"Trixie was under the impression that you were in possession of a highly desirable artifact that will give her the advantage over Twilight Sparkle. She wishes to purchase it."
>...Right.
>You chuckle a little and shake your head.
"I don't know about that, it's not like I make a habit of collecting weird stuff. Your information is faulty."
>Puffing out her cheeks, Trixie attempts to build herself up as she glares at you.
>"Do you not possess the Hot Monkey Dick? I have heard of its power and wish to see if I can tap into its endurance!"
>...
>Fucking Fluttershy.
>Rubbing your temple you shake your head.
"Listen, Trix."
>"The Great and Powerful Trixie."
"Right, No Talent Hack."
>You smirk as Trixie gasps, continuing before she can cut you off.
"The HMD isn't for sale. I'm rather attached to it."
>For emphasis, you bring your hand down to your crotch and grip it.
>Trixie's eyes widen as a look of terror crosses her face.
"Understand?"
>There's a mute nod and you smile, ruffling her mane.
"Atta girl. Anyway, I gotta eat so, later."
>As you turn away, you hear a small, uncertain voice cry out.
>"W-wait!"
>That's it.
>Someone's fucking with you.
>Sighing again, you turn and put on your best 'I don't want to be here so make it fast' smile.
>The Oblivious and Autistic Trixie doesn't seem to notice, tapping her hooves together a few times before looking back up at you.
>Her face is tinged with red as she stammers
>"W-w-would you consider, a, a sampling then? I-I can... p-p-pay."
>Why do these ponies think you're a whore?
>You're about to tear into Trixie, asking her if she thinks you look like a bitch, but an idea strikes you.
>Grinning, you rub the bottom of your chin with your thumb, as though considering the offer.
>You can almost see Trixie's heart thudding away in her throat.
>After letting her stew for a moment, you grin and shrug.
"Sure, I can give you something."
>The stage magician gives an unprofessional squeal.
"Free of charge."
>Her jaw drops and her legs lock up.
>"Are. You. Serious?"
"Sure, sure. Just do me a favor and turn around, okay?"
>Trixie gulps and hurriedly does as you ask.
>Using your thumbs and forefingers, you frame Trixie's bulbous blue butt into a small square, squinting for emphasis.
>You see her wiggle it a little in anticipation, and decide to strike.
>Rushing the mare, you fire your second bootpedo into her Great and Powerful flank.
>Trixie screams as she flies through the air, destination unknown.
>Snapping a salute, you turn and march back into your house.
"Man, what a great start to the day."
>Unfortunately, your cereal is all soggy now.
>And the milk was bad.
>What a terrible day this is going to be.
>Fucking Fluttershy.
>And Trixie too.