>High School, the best time of your life.
>...Yeah, right.
>More like the most awkward, clumsy phase of existence; kind of like Junior High all over again, except the things you do follow you around for the rest of your life.
>Like last night, at the soccer game...
 
>"Did you guys seem out there? I was awesome!"
>Rainbow Dash gives a triumphant grunt, punching her fists into the air as she marches back to the locker room with her teammates.
>They laugh and agree; as well they ought considering that the speedy star has put the team on her back more times than they can remember.
>Still, they aren't important.
>You've got your eyes fixed on the cocky captain, hands clenched tight by your side as your heart thuds away in your chest.
>All you have to do is take a step towards her, walk into her line of sight and everything will fall into place from there.
"At least, that's how it should be."
>Sighing, you feel your nerve slip away as the gaggle of girls moves closer.
>You don't stand a chance, better to cut your losses.
>Maybe you could try your luck with Derpy instead?
>She was more on your social tier.
>Yeah... stuck on the same level as the loopiest girl in school.
>Groaning, you bury your face in your hands.
"...What am I doing with my life?"
>As you throw yourself an impromptu pity party, you hear the girls begin to pass by.
>With another sigh, you give up completely.
>And, as you turn to walk away, it happens.
>"Hey!"
>Your hear jerks up.
>Could it be?
>Truly?
>Scanning the crowd, you spot Rainbow Dash and...
>See that she's completely oblivious to your presence.
>Seems like you got worked up for nothing.
>Biting back a curse, you turn your head away and...
>"I SAID LOOK OUT!"
>What?
>Your eyes widen as you see some amateur wobbling back and forth on a skateboard rocketing towards you.
>He screams.
>You scream.
>And at least have the presence of mind to dive out of the way as he rockets down the hill.
 
>Stumbling to regain your balance, you end up falling down onto your hands and knees, heaving a sigh of relief.
"Thank goodness."
>"I'll say. That was a pretty close call, dude."
>That voice...
>Your eyes widen as they fix in on several pairs of cleats.
>Jerking your head up and back, you gape at the female footie squad.
>Mocking, predatory grins rest on some faces, while a handful looks to be concerned for your well being.
>And there she is.
>Rainbow Dash.
>Looking like she's about to bust a gut.
>Sweat beads on your forehead as you scramble back up to your feet.
>A small laugh escapes Dash's lips as she follows the skateboarder's path with her eyes.
>"Newbies shouldn't be running down this hill. It's too steep. But how about you? That was some spill, you all right?"
>Gulping, you nod your head twice.
>Rainbow's smile fades as she adopts a concerned frown.
>"Too rattled to talk? You didn't knock your noggin did you? Head injuries can be dangerous."
>Did you?
>No, of course not.
>You shake your head again, feeling the fettuccine filling your pockets.
>"Uh, well if you're sure then I suppose there's no reason to check you out."
>WHAT?
>Rainbow, as though sensing the rising tortellini tide in your shorts, gives an anxious grin and waves you off.
>Too late, you realize the missed opportunity.
>"Well, okay, see you later dude."
>And just like that, she's turning away, the girls going with her.
>Your heart thuds away in between your ears, drowning out the sound of everything else as you watch her leave.
>Today you did the impossible; you talked to the girl of your dreams.
>...well, she did all of the talking, but still, you managed to engage in a conversation with Rainbow Dash.
>Maybe your idea wasn't so crazy after all.
>Another few meetings like this and she might even come to like you like you like her.
>And then, who knows what could happen!
>But, are you really going to be satisfied with just this?
>What if this is your one chance?
>Clenching your fist, you take a step forward.
"R-Rainbow?"
 
>The soccer star pauses, setting her face profile to your sight.
>Despite the swollen sensation in your throat, you swallow and gather your nerve.
"Would you, go out with me tonight?"
>The world slows to a crawl.
>Everyone turns and stares at you.
>The hate in their eyes, every glare promising a brutal beating if sh-
>Wait. Scratch that.
>N-nobody's paying attention.
>Well, some of her teammates are giggling again, but everyone else is just going on with their lives.
>Shaking your head, you focus in on Dash.
>She's the only one who matters.
>Rainbow raises an eyebrow, and the corner of her mouth goes along with it.
>Dangit
>You brace yourself to be laughed off as she opens her mouth.
>"Yeah, sure."
>OH CRUEL FATE, YET AGAIN YOU H-
>Wait.
>What?
"What?"
>"I said sure," Rainbow laughs, waving her hand. "Don't make a big deal out of it or anything. Meet me out by the gate and we'll grab a burger or something. See you soon!"
>And then she turns again and makes her way to the locker room.
>After a moment of silence, you lift your hand and wave.
"Y-you too..."
>As she walks around the corner, a smile splits across your face.
>Biting down on your knuckle, you resist the urge to scream for joy.
>You still get a few strange looks, but it doesn't matter because you have a date!
>WITH RAINBOW DASH!
>Your legs can't carry you fast enough to the gate.
>Well, actually they can, since you end up waiting a good ten minutes for Rainbow to show up, but they were the best/worst ten minutes of your life!
>Grinning, she shakes a little bit of water still clinging to her hair loose as she walks up.
>"Sup, I'm starved. You mind spotting me for tonight?"
>IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE, M'LADY
>Wait, stay calm...
"Th-that sounds cool."
>Nice.
>And so the two of you walk downtown, Rainbow regaling you with stories about, what else, how awesome she is.
>You are without a doubt transfixed by the sheer awesome radiating off this girl.
>She really is the best.
 
>She also eats like a horse.
>After putting away her third bacon cheeseburger, Dash takes a few moments to suck a bit of salt off the pad of her index finger.
>Mentally you're sweating bullets, wondering if you have enough money to cover this gorgefest, but outside you're doing your best to remain calm and sip at your drink.
>Dash takes a noisy, unladylike slurp from her own soda before patting her stomach.
>"Aw man, that was great. Nothing like a bad meal after a great game."
"Y-yeah, you really went to town."
>"I do everything big," Rainbow says with a lazy grin. "It's just my nature, go big or go home, right?"
"Yeah, right."
>You gulp, watching the soccer star as she glances back up to the counter again, perhaps considering going back for a fourth.
>But finally she sighs and places her hands on the table.
>"Well, I know when I'm beat. Thanks for covering me, Anon."
>Think fast!
"Thanks for being had!"
>As Rainbow gives your stuttering response a curious frown, you realize that one was a swing and a miss.
>But then she laughs and shakes her head.
>"You're a real kook, you know that? We should hang out again sometime."
>H-hang out?
>Is she, asking you on anoth-
>At once, Rainbow's phone chirps out at her.
>"Ah, darn!"
>Fumbling at the skirt pocket, she fishes the electronic out and scowls at it.
>"Sorry, I was supposed to be home twenty minutes ago. Gotta dash!"
>As she takes a step, the blue girl snorts a bit.
>"Heh, dash..."
"Hold on a second!"
>To her credit, Rainbow does pause again, though she doesn't look too pleased.
>Between the knot in your throat and your swollen tongue, you manage to mumble
"Uh, can I get your number?"
>"Sure!"
>Dash's face brightens and she pulls out a pen.
>Scrawling on her used napkin, she taps the cap against her head.
>"Later!"
>And then she's gone.
>You hurriedly grab the paper and type the number into your phone.
>Unsure what to do with the napkin afterwards, you shove it into your pocket.
>The owner won't mind.
>Probably.
>Even if he does, forget him!
>You...
>Gulping, you wipe your slick palms against your pants and grin.
>You're dating Rainbow Dash!
>K-kind of.
 
>Oh man, what are you even supposed to DO now?
>Texting her would be obvious, but what if when she says hang out she just means hang out?
>How can you be sure that Rainbow's into you?
"Well, I could ask..."
>WRONG!
>That's a sure sign of betamax.
>Asking is out.
>So...
"Right, I'll ask him."
>Scrolling through your contacts, you find the name you're looking for.
>Fingers flying, you hammer out a quick message.
'I really like this girl and I think she likes me too. How do I win her over for sure?'
>Send, and wait.
>While you're fishing for change to pay the cashier, your phone chirps in response.
>Forgetting your responsibility for the moment, you check your phone.
>1 New Message
>From Flash Sentry.
>'Sup brah? Cool that you're breaking out of your shell. As far as chicks go, do what I do. Send her a pic of your dick.'
"WHAT?"
>The cashier clears his throat and you blush, going back to paying him.
>As you make your way outside, you begin going back and forth with Flash.
'Seriously? My DICK?'
>'Yeah bro, girls are just as kinky as guys.'
'But it's my dick!'
>'So? Girls take nasty pictures all the time; this is just your way of showing you're game too.'
>This can't be happening.
>As you're wrestling with what to say, Flash texts you again.
>'I do it all the time; there's no shame in it. Trust me; she'll be all over your knob once she gets a look at your ladykiller.'
'You're sure?'
>'Yes, dude. BTW I'm on my way to bone this chick. Guess how I hot her attention.'
'...Dick pics?'
>'Dick pixxx. Haha, later broseph.'
>Later, in your room, you stare at your phone as if it had a life of its own.
>Flash made it sound so easy, just snap and send, but you've never done anything like this before.
>Every time you open up the camera app, you freak out and close it just as quickly.
>Flopping onto your back, you scowl and stare up at the ceiling.
"Why does this have to be so hard?"
>Closing your eyes, you do your best to struggle through it.
>...And then wake up at five in the morning.
>Your panic had carried you through the night, and while you don't feel rested, you're sporting a boner that's hard enough to be used as a lethal weapon.
>Staring at your erection, you take a deep breath and go back to your phone.
"Just bite the bullet and do it."
>Once your dick is on full display, it dawns on you that you still have no idea what you're doing.
>Does the lighting need to be right?
>What about the angle?
>Feeling your nerve slipping, you stop thinking and hear the shutter close as your thumb presses against the screen.
"There, it's done."
>Taking a moment to admire your handiwork, you smile at the familiar fleshy pillar on the screen.
>Hello boner, you're looking mighty fine this morning.
>Now all you have to do is send it.
>...dangit.
 
>And so here you are, slouched over your lunch table, clutching your phone between your sweaty fingers.
>Rainbow Dash's number glares up at you, accusingly.
>Should you?
>Can you?
>From across the room, you hear Dash laugh.
>The sound gives you courage.
>Fingers flying, you type up a short message.
'Thanks for last night. Let’s go out again soon.'
>Perfect.
>Attach pic.
>Last chance...
>...
>...
>And it's gone.
>A weight leaves your shoulders as you sigh and close your eyes.
"It's done."
>And you are at peace with yourself.
>But as you go to take a bite of your lunch, Dash's laugh rings out again.
>And then, her voice echoes across the room.
>"Haha, look what Anon sent me!"
>Wait, what?
>No.
>NO!
>"A dick pic!"
>The cafeteria quiets
>This time, everyone is staring at you.
>Quiet sounds of laughter quickly begin to grow in volume from all corners of the room.
>Hahahaha, he actually thought I was going out with him."
>Louder and louder still.
>Frantic, you search for someone, anyone who can help you.
>Two tables away you see Flash.
>He's staring at you in amazement.
>Seeing he has your attention, his smile grows and he gives you a double thumbs up.
>It doesn't help.
>Pockets pouring out penne, you scramble to your feet, stumbling towards the door as the laughter reaches a crescendo.
>The door gives way to the hall, but as it closes, you hear Dash's voice one last time.
>"What a loser!"
>Click.
>...This is it.
>Your life is officially over.
>In the yearbook, your title is going to be 'most likely to send Rainbow Dash a picture of his dick.'
>Slumping to the floor, you place your head between your knees and wallow in your own misery.
>And to think this all could have been avoided.
>Fucking Flash Sentry...