>You are Anon, slacker extraordinaire
>You've just finished a hard day of doing nothing, when your cell phone rings
"Marcus...thought he was in Cleveland. Wonder what he wants..."
>You answer the call
"Hello?"
"Anon...is this Anon?"
>The voice is way too girly to be Marcus...
"Marcus...dude is this one of those calls that ends with me having to call you Martha?"
"No, listen! This is Jennifer. I work at Spaghetti Land. Marcus said to call, something's gone horribly wrong."
"What? What happened?"
"Turn on your TV."
>You grab the remote and turn your TV on
>The Emergency Broadcast System is on
>Apparently, Cleveland and the surrounding area is totally overrun with fluffies
>The military had been called in just a few hours ago to deal with the problem
"Holy shit...what do you need."
>Jennifer pauses
>You hear her say something to Marcus, and then you hear the phone being handed off
"Anon, listen. Things in the park are shit. We need help."
"Things in the PARK? Dude, Cleveland is practically buried under fluffies!"
"What!? How many are there?"
"News says...anywhere from 10-30 million."
"Holy fuck...alright, change of plans then."
"What do you need?"
"I need you to make a phone call."
>You stay on the phone for a few more minutes listening to Marcus' instructions
>He wants you to call Hasbro and as many news stations as possible
>He also wants you to try to get through to the military
>You're to tell everyone that someone has planted explosives all over Spaghetti Land
>It takes you about 45 minutes, but you manage to spread the word to everyone
"Alright...that should stop the place from becoming a crater...for now at least."
>You stop and think for a minute
>Marcus is trapped in what is possibly the least happy place on Earth
>He is surrounded by fluffies
>There are explosives
"Shit...what should I do..."
>AND there's a damsel in distress
"....Hey, Starsplash! We're taking a trip!"
"Otay, daddeh! Stawspwas wuv dwivin!"
>You hop in your car and speed toward Cleveland
>You barely run into any traffic, since everyone is going AWAY from the city
>That gives you the perfect opportunity to go about 30 above the speed limit
>Within 5 hours, you reach the city
>It's about 6 at night, and martial law is in effect
>A soldier stops your car
"Sir, I'm going to ask you to turn around. City's being swept for fluffies and looters."
"No, I can't do that. I have a friend trapped in the park."
"Every effort is being made to safely evacuate-"
"THERE'S FUCKIN' 10 TONS OF C4 UNDER THE GODDAMN PLACE!"
"WHAT!?"
>You grab Starsplash and dash through the blockade
>No one attempts to give chase since you're essentially knee-deep in shit
"The things I do for that guy.."
"Daddeh, we goin' Sketti Wand?"
"Yeah. We're going to Sketti Land."