>Be Spike.
>Number one assistant to Twilight Sparkle.
>"C'mon bro, let's park it next to the arcade."
>Also number one little brother to the coolest guy in all of Equestria, Anon.
>"You got it big bro!"
>Anon is the best thing to happen to you since the Crystal Empire thing.
>"Hey, you got some on your nose there Spike."
"I do?"
>You cross your eyes to get a look at the tip of your nose.
>A light flick brushes across it causing you to flinch back while Anon chuckles to himself.
>"Man, You always fall for that one don't you."
>You playfully bat away his finger as you rub your nose.
"Have your fun now Anon, I'll be having plenty of it when I beat you at cloudbusters" you growl.
>"Do you really think you have what it takes to beat the reigning champion?!" he says as he flexes confidently.
>Some mares nearby look in your direction.
>Twilight warned you about showing off too much, that it could attract all kinds of ladies.
>All their eyes do make you a little nervous, but Anon's never worried about stuff like that.
>You can feel the confidence coming off of him.
"I don't see Button Mash anywhere around here big bro" you goad.
>Anon's sundae almost falls out of it's glass as he laughs along with you.
>"Well played, little bro. You're going to grow up to be a real bastard one day you know that?" he says proudly.
>You love having him as your big brother, he's always making you feel better even if he's not trying.
>And he loves you too, you're sure of it.
>You shoot a glare at the two mares nearby that are approaching you both.
>They reel back a bit, and walk away.
>Nothing will ever get in the way of that.
>You'll make sure of it.
>"I think I'd give it a meh out of ten, scratches the itch but doesn't wow me y'know? Coldrock's Creamery is way better."
 
"Huh? Oh! Yeah, the food at the carnival is okay at best, but where else can you get this kind of variety AND play games too?"
>Forgot about the sundaes for a moment there.
>"Alright Spike, we've got two clawfuls of bits and a whole day at the carnival, so what's say we get started huh?"
"You betcha!"
>Deciding to start slow, what with bellies full of sundaes, you both play some of the hologames for a little while.
>"Dam- uh, dang. When did you get so good at this bro?"
>Your random button strategy must have gotten much better since last time.
>Anon was beating everyone in Mortal Wombats last time.
>You should ask him how to do the special finishers when your wombat collects more food than the other player.
"Hey A-"
>"Howdy Anon."
>You both turn to see Applejack looking uncomfortable in the arcade.
>Some of the colts whisper comments of disgust, and questions of what a mare is doing here.
>"Oh hey, Applejack. Here to play a game?" Anon asks, motioning to the holocabinet you were just playing at.
>Applejack's mouth scrunches, but she tries playing it off, "Uh, no. Not much into em m'self Anon... I was actually hopin' t-to talk to ya f-for a moment" she mumbles.
>"Sure thing AJ" Anon responds as he leans back against the cabinet.
>She's acting all fishy... you don't like fishy.
>Applejack seems to have noticed you narrowed stare, "Uhm... In p-private?" she adds while motioning for the door out of the arcade.
>Psh, like Anon would ditch you t-
"Oh" Anon crouches down to talk to you quietly, "Hey, mind bringing me a snack? That Sundae's wearing off, and I guess Applejack has something important to talk about."
"Wha-?!"
>"Thanks little bro, you're the best" he chirps as he hands you a few bits and walks out with Applejack.
>You know what she wants to talk about, the signs are all there.
>Going to coltish places, the sweating, stammering voice, swallowing a lot.
>It's just like in the plays, she's going to ask him out.
>But she can't have Anon, he's YOUR big bro.
>And you know just how to make sure it stays that way...
 
>"Your barn?"
>"Mmhmm, could use some strong arms like yours Non. And maybe afterwards..."
"Here you go Anon!" you shout loud enough to get them both to jump.
>Anon recovers quickly and takes the snack you've handed him, "Sweet, thanks Little br-"
>He's noticed what it is you've handed him, while Applejack stands there sweating arrows.
>"Whoa! I didn't even know these things existed. I haven't had one in so long!"
>Anon turns back to Applejack as he takes a large juicy bite into the delicious, green...
>"P-pear?!" Applejack shouts.
>"Yeah! Can you believe it? These things are awesome!" Anon hums happily as he takes another bite, "S'good too" he adds with a mouthful.
>You take a bite into a pear of your own as you grin smugly at the horrified mare before you.
>"So... What were you saying about afterwards Applejack?" Anon asks.
>A piece of pear flies out of his mouth and lands on Applejack's cheek.
>She looks like a little filly that just learned about cooties.
>"Oh, my bad." Anon reaches out to brush her cheek but Applejack rears back in a panic.
>"N-no! Uh, I mean... I think I left the oven on back home!" she shouts as she starts backing away quickly.
>"Alright? See ya!" Anon shouts as she speeds away.
"So what were you two talking about?"
>"Huh? Oh, nothing important after all. She wanted me to see her new barn or something, dunno why she made it seems like it was a big deal but I guess it is to a farmer right?"
>You and Anon shrug to each other before glancing around for the next thing to do.
>Cloudbusters is the finale after all, and there's still some daylight left.
 
>"-And there I was thinking that I'd never get the designs finished in time a-"
>You want to do nothing more than growl at how boring Rarity's story is about her dumb mare stuff.
>But Anon and Pinkie seem to be enjoying it so you swallow it down.
>Today was supposed to be just you and Anon, brotherly time.
>Instead it's just been one mare after the other.
>You managed to scare them all away so far.
>Fluttershy bought you both some corndogs after you were done on the spinning cups, the least scary ride here.
>She was going on and on about some cute critters she just took in that Anon HAD to see back at her cottage.
>A few questions about how close corn dogs are to the hot dogs Anon told you about before was more than enough to send her running though.
>Rainbow Dash dropped by shortly after.
>While it bugged you that she called him "her sis", Rainbow didn't really do anything other than high-hoof him and rub your head.
>She's alright in your book, for now anyway.
>Twilight was particularly difficult, not to scare off but to consider scaring off.
>You know she likes him, and she is kind of like your mom.
>But she also tried to make you come back with her before while Anon was in Manehattan.
>And while you love Twilight, living with Anon is a lot better.
>No more "safe space time" from "toxic mareculinity".
>Realizing that made it much easier to pull the trigger on your cork crossbow.
>It set a chain of events that led to her getting covered in honey.
>She'll get over it, Twilight's always been good about handling being totally embarrassed in public.
>You'll make it up to her later anyway.
>And now, just when you were about to play cloudbusters Pinkie and Rarity showed up.
>Pinkie was going to be difficult, you knew that.
>What you didn't expect was that Rarity was going to be just as tough.
>Nothing phased her, you thought for sure bringing up all those coltish moments she's had would have her running to protect her pride.
 
>Nobody seemed bothered by it either, not even Anon.
>"What do you think Spike?"
"Huh?"
>"I asked if you think you'd like a matching ensemble with the outfit I'm making for Anonymous."
>"I was thinking something tough, like muscle shirts. Those are tough right?"
>Pinkie and Rarity giggle, "I'd say that's a perfectly fine outfit for you, but our little Spikey Wikey here may be just a tad too young for something like that. Worry not however, I'll think of something just fitting for him."
>She's caught on, you're sure of it with the way she growled the word "fitting".
>"Now then, If we're to make matching sets I believe I'll need to get formal measurements on you darling" Rarity coos in Anon's direction.
>"Don't you already have my... oh. Oh! Yeah I thi-"
>Think fast number one little brother!
"Hey, Pinkie! I bet I can eat more pies than you can!"
>You smash your face into the small pie in front of you and start chowing down.
>"You know not the depth of my power little boy" Pinkie says with a voice that sent a chill down your spine.
>One smushing sound followed by her normal chipper voice, "Mmm! Appleberry!" makes you feel a little more at ease.
>"Aw shit son, we pie smashing here?!"
>"Anonymous! You shouldn't be shouting something like th-"
>A smush sound from right next to you followed by a squeak from Rarity tells you that Anon did exactly what you'd hoped he'd do.
>"C'mon Rarity dig in" Pinkie mumbles through a mouthful of pie.
>"I do believe I'll pass" Rarity responds with a slight gag.
>You don't really like getting messy like this either, but if it gets her gone...
>Oh hey, this pie is actually pretty good.
>Rarity gags once more, "Well, if you're all going to continue being heathens then I'll take what civility is left here and make my leave."
>All three of you shout out goodbye's as pie crumbs fly out everywhere.
>Now it's just Pinkie.
>Ugh, and your full tummy.
>This isn't going to be easy.
>"Hey Nonny?"
 
>Anon hums as he's drinking down a glass of milk.
>"Can I fuck you?"
>You choke on the pie you were chewing down, while Anon spits out all the milk in his mouth.
>Pinkie looks on curiously as you both cough and try to recover.
>"Holy shit Ponk! That's... this is not the place for that kind of talk."
>"But you said you'd be thrilled to be asked that back during the dance off."
>He did? But Twilight was very clear about that kind of thing...
>"Okay, yes." Anon pauses to glance over at you, "But this is a later kind of talk Pinkie."
>"Alrighty... so do I need to bring some streamers when we fu-"
>"As in "not today" kind of later Pinkie!"
>"Ohhhh, Okie dokie lokie! Just lemme know when" she chirps before bouncing off.
>Anon leans back before realizing he's sitting on a bench and jerks forward to catch himself.
>He sighs loudly right when you do.
>You both look at each other, "Hey bro? I think cloudbusters is going to have to wait for another day."
>You pat your aching tummy and agree.
>Anon lifts you up onto his shoulders and you hug his head for balance.
>Now that you're both walking back home, away from the crowd at the carnival you feel confident enough to speak your mind.
"Anon, did you really say that before? That you'd like for mares to ask you?"
>You can feel him tense up under you, "Uh, If I'm being honest with you little bro, I did."
"Why? Twilight always said that s-sex is supposed to be special and that being asked like that is not okay."
>"Ah jeez... okay uh, Twilight is right. Kind of. Let's just say I was feeling particularly frustrated in that moment. Most peo- ponies probably don't just throw it out there like Pinkie did, but I'm pretty sure she has no idea what she's saying."
"Really?"
>"Man I don't know anything when it comes to Pinkie Pie."
"No, I meant about you getting frustrated..."
 
>This is something Twilight has been so confusing on whenever you bring stuff like this up, it feels a lot less awkward to ask your big bro about it.
>Anon sighs loudly, "Are we doing this then? Alright... let's get home and we'll talk about it."
 
>Be Anon.
>Yesterday started out like such a normal day... well, "normal".
>Got to be Dante, then some bro time with Spike.
>Even got to see all your friends again, even it was a little brief.
>Somehow things took a sharp turn to awkward though.
>Rarity isn't exactly dating you, but you probably have to bring up the Pinkie incident.
>Then you probably still have to talk about it with Pinkie, she's kooky but she never forgets anything.
>And if that wasn't enough, you had to do "the talk" with Spike.
>Twilight had some crazy notions about everything that had the little guy all confused.
>You set the record straight on some things and left things be on others.
>You miss "normal", all this awkward shit is way too much for you right now.
>"Hey Anon? You've got a letter from The Princesses" Spike mumbles sleepily.
>You take the letter out of his claw and he waddles back to resume his sleeping in.
>This is the kind of normal you can get behind.
>What'll it be this time, Earthquake? Ancient evils? Mad tyrants?
"Forest cleanup?"
>What a fucking load.
>You've done street cleanup in order to get that street named "Butts Ct.", it was funny to fourteen year old you and your friends, but fuck was that tiring.
>You look at the crumpled letter in your hands.
>It's either this, or you have to go do all the talking.
>A knock at your door makes your decision for "immediate action" for you.
>"Anon! Oh I'm so glad you're up. Listen, I need your help."
>Rainbow Dash asking for help? Sounds actually serious.
"What's up?"
>"My sis Gilda, you remember her right?"
>You nod as you recall the snarky 3cool5you gryphoness.
>"Well she being threatened into moving out of her home by the mob!"
 
>Rainbow would be the perfect hypeman for anyone... hypemare?
"The mob? Are you sure she's not just short on rent?"
>"Well she is..., but that's the thing, they keep adding on charges for like everything! G says they want her out so they can use the building to push drugs or something."
>Jesus, that catbird's going all in with the story.
"I'm not giving you money Rainbow."
>"No dummy, I don't need your money. I need you to come with me so the three of us can take down the mob!"
>You pinch the bridge of your nose in utter disbelief of what you're hearing.
"Alright, so if they're clearly a "mob", why don't you get Twilight or the other Princesses to do something about it."
>"They can't, Gilda lives on a border town. The princesses can't do anything, it would lead to like some crazy political stuff!"
>Crazy political stuff.
>Really knowledgeable there Dash...
>So now you have options.
>Do some forest stuff for the Princesses.
>Or help Rainbow and her friend deal with "the mob".
>Can't say you didn't get what you asked for, totally "normal" times up ahead.
 
"So this chariot thing?" You shout ahead.
>"Pretty awesome right?" Rainbow shouts back at you from her harnessed position.
>It's certainly faster than the train, and surprisingly roomy all things considered.
"How did you get this thing Rainbow?"
>"What?"
"AAAH HOLY FUCK!"
>Rainbow corrects her tilt to prevent you from going over the edge.
>"Sorry! I'm still getting used to this thing. It's standard issue for all the high ranking Wonderbolt Reserves, which I only just reached."
>Well that answers your question.
>Not that that's at the front of your mind right now anyway.
>Right now you're focused on your heart not punching out through your chest.
>"I must say I quite like the view" Discord snickers.
 
I'm sure you do Mr. "I had wings for all of my life".
>"Come now, just take a seat and relax. All this panicking is unbecoming of you Anon."
Haw haw, what do I just squat back and fall to my death? You go with me you know.
>"No, I mean lift the fold out seat and sit down."
No shit?
>No shit, there is a pull out seat.
>This actually feels a little more relaxing, whaddaya know.
>With a feeling of stability now, you can really admire the view Rainbow is offering you.
>It's not that much different from the other, larger chariots you've taken, but maybe since it's your friend pulling it feels... different.
"You were right Rainbow, this is pretty awesome" you shout.
>Rainbow raises her hooves up into the air for a moment and you can hear her shouting something, but since she doesn't face back it's totally lost to you.
>Probably an I told you so if you had to guess.
 
"So I meant to ask, how the hell does this even work?"
>"How does what work?" she asks as you both slow upon entering the border town.
"Well you could barely lift me on your own the last time we were in the Gryphon lands, and now you can lift both me and this chariot no problem?"
>"Oh, well this thing is a training chariot. It's enchanted to levitate a cerain amout of weight that I can change on the fly."
>Rainbow kicks the front of the chariot with one of her rear hooves, "Get it? On the fly."
>You roll your eyes, but realize that she can't see you doing it.
>"Yeah. I got it Dash." you respond flatly.
>"Fuck you, it was funny. But yeah, I can carry you in this thing no problem."
>Man, this place is a dump.
>Kind of reminds you of Detroit in a way, just with more catbirds.
>"Soooo?"
"What?"
>"What are you going to turn into this time Nonny?"
"What?"
>"Y'know like, can you go all asteroid destroyer when we hit up that mob?"
"It doesn't exactly work like that Rainb- wait did I tell you about the asteroid?"
>"No, Pinkie told me during one of our workouts."
"You two work out?"
>"Sis, have you seen what that girl eats? If we didn't I'm pretty sure she'd die."
"Alright, fair en-"
>"Come on lady, cut me a fuckin' break!"
>That voice sounds familiar.
>"That's Gilda!" Rainbow shouts as she dashes ahead.
>The sudden burst of speed catches you off guard and you go flipping back on to the ground.
>The wind is knocked out of your lungs for a moment, but you recover quick enough to jog around the corner Rainbow cut around.
>You almost run into the blue mare as she was cutting back around to you.
>"Whoa! Uh, sorry Non. I should probably stick close to your while we're here huh? C'mon, I heard her from this way!"
>You hop up into the chariot and she jets along to the soruce of the angry hissing and yelling.
>"Back off, [hiss noises], I keel you, okay sis?"
>You see Gilda looking fiercely at some gryphoness wearing a black tracksuit.
 
>Theres other female gryphons in tracksuits dumping her a bunch of stuff on the side of the street.
>Rainbow detaches herself form the chariot to join into the squabble.
>Just like she said, the chariot rolls to a floating halt nearby.
>"Psh, look at them" Discord says, "You wanna hang back and make up whatever they're saying from back here?"
>Rainbow grabs Gilda from the shoulders to hold her back, while the "lesser" tracksuited birds drop what they're doing and walk closer to your friend.
"Hey hey! Let's everyone just calm down eh?" you say confidently as you step between all parties.
>"Sis back off sis, this not concern you."
>"You better believe it concerns us now, you can't just kick out my friend!" Rainbow spits.
>The "main bird" grins smugly at Rainbow before turning to eye you, "Is good sis. She not pay NEW rent, she gone."
>"I've got your old rent right here!" Gilda says holding out a very small pouch, "You can't make me pay triple with a week notice!"
>You glare at the obviously crooked catbird, "Sis, don't matter sis. Is in lease, She sign. So pay up or goodbye."
>One of the "lesser" gryphonesses snatches Gilda's pouch, "Is pay for one more night."
>"That's a load of hor-"
"Hold on! Hold on. Just, lemme see this thing... and stop yelling for a second..."
>"Psh, what sis know about contracts eh? Is guy no?"
"I know a lot about contracts alright? Litigations and all that" you mumble as you scan the page.
>It's all kinds of broken english, but it does say that they have control over this kind of thing, and that looks like Gilda's signature on the sheet.
>"Make senses yet sis? Is all good in my hood" says the main catbird.
>"Anon? She can't really do that can she?" Rainbow asks.
>You sigh loudly.
"She owns the place Dash. She absolutely can."
>The tracksuited gryphonesses laugh as Gilda goes weak in Rainbow's grip.
>"Pretty soon all going to get it. Can't pay forever sis" chuckles the main Gryphoness as they walk away.
 
"Damn."
>"See! MOB!"
"SHH! Damn it Rainbow! Just because they wear tracksuits and speak in a heavy russian accent with broken english, or whatever the horse pun versions of what I just said are, doesn't mean you can just judge like that."
>Rainbow gives you a confused look.
"Okay, so they might be the mob. You think shouting it is going to make things any better for us?"
>"Oh, right... Well, let's get inside. I've got a plan."
"Plan? Seriously? Why purposefully get ourselves into trouble? I tend to do taht pretty well on my own without looking."
>"Because, think how awesome it'll be when we get the crack down on these clowns!"
>Your palm clasps over your face as you follow Rainbow and a weary Gilda into the building to hear Rainbow's plan.
 
 
 
 
>You go for the door to get inside the building but a concerned gryphon has already opened it up from the inside.
>Rainbow pulls Gilda in and heads up the stairway.
>You trail along behind them, pausing to thank the gryphon for opening the door.
>"No worries, so... she's going next huh?" the gryphon asks while scratching the back of his head.
"Uh, well it sure looks that way doesn't it?"
>"It's been happening all over the block, we're one of the last few left."
"Yeah? Rainbow mentioned something like that."
>You're not really going to admit that you didn't believe her to this guy, he's about to break down as it is.
>Glancing behind him you can see a few small gryphons peeking from behind his door.
"Cute kids there."
>"Hmm?" he mumbles as he looks back through the door opening, "Oh, thank you! My gryphlets are just a little curious, from all the shouting outside... and probably from looking at you."
"Ha, I get that a lot, s-"
>"Anon? Where the hay are you?" Rainbow shouts from upstairs.
"Oh, I gotta go."
>"You girls got off pretty easy, usually Givan isn't so willing to let someone yell at her. She can hold back some if a guy like you is around, but I wouldn't push her or her "friends" any more if I was you" he says as he's closing the door.
>These gryphons have talons like hawks, guys like you wo-
>"Seems things are pretty bad around here" Discord notes as you walk up the stairs.
Huh? Oh, yeah...
>You see the occasional toy or crayon near a doorway.
>A gryphoness you pass by is missing a few clumps of feathers around her eye.
>Surprisingly she gives you a friendly nod as you walk by and you return it.
>The mood in this place is completely different from Ponyville.
>It's odd, but maybe something like a "we're making the best of it" kind of feel.
>You slip by two neighbouring gryphons swapping gossip.
 
>They sharply change the subject until you're past them, but sound travels on this dingy stairway and you can hear them talking about you and Rainbow again.
>Gilda's neighbour hands you a small basket of scones just before you enter Gilda's place, "It's not going to get her stuff back, but my scones will take some of the nastiness out of today" he coos.
"Thank you, I'm sure we'll love them."
>He nods happily and goes back to his apartment.
Things do look bad Discord, but you can't judge a book by its cover right? The people here are really nice from what I can tell.
>Discord hums, pretending to sound indifferent, "such a chaotic energy I'm picking up from this building... y'know I'm not sure how much I like it being here. I'm the god of chaos after all, any chaos happening should be by my mismatched claws" he muses nonchalantly.
I'm thinking you might be right Discord, it's the "chaos" here I'm worried about too.
>"Finally! What took you so lon- are those snacks? Couldn't pass that many kitchens without wanting to bake Anon?" Rainbow goads.
"I got them from one of Gilda's neighbours you ass, why don't we all take a seat and..."
>There's no furniture anywhere.
>Or at least furniture that's not broken.
>"Listen to my awesome plan? I like the way you think sis." Rainbow quickly adds to keep the mood from going to full depressed.
>The word sis feels tainted to you now, even if she's the one saying it.
>All of you sit around the small basket.
>Gilda has a thousand yard stare on her face as she shovels scone scone after the other into her beak.
>"Hey, you alright G?"
>"I don't want to go back to Griffonstone D, it's even worse than this dump. I thought that when my last minu- well planned sculpture won first place that maybe things would start going my way for once."
>Gilda sighs, "I should've expected dirty play, even if we're not in Griffonstone anymore. All we ever care about is money, and it doesn't matter how we get it."
 
>You hear her mention something about karma, but Rainbow butts in with her usual tact.
>Rainbow slaps her on the back "Don't get your tail in a twist about this Gil, we do what I got planned and this whole mess'll be sorted out!"
>Gilda has a small smile on her face as Rainbow continues, "So here's what we're going to do..."
>You wait for Rainbow to finish while Discord "tsk tsk"s.
>Sharing his sentiment you open your mouth to speak.
"Dash, your plan is dumb."
>"Dumb?! It's not dumb! How is it dumb?"
"Well lets see, we know where Givan goes at night thanks to Gilda's chatty neighbours and we know that you need a decent chunk of bits to get in there right?"
>"Duh, we went over that already."
"Yeah? Did we go over how we're going to get a huge sac of bits in just a few hours?"
>Rainbow raises a hoof to counter your question, but just freezes there with her mouth open.
"Or how about the whole "Anon is going to seduce Givan" part? How am I going to seduce a gangster?"
>"I dunno, just act sexy or something! You're a total sis and all, but you're still a dude" Rainbow stammers out desperate to maintain that her plan is not dumb.
>You and Discord sigh in unison.
>"Why don't you turn into something that can make a lot of bits, or can be more stallion-y? Or both!"
"Dash, I can't I-"
>"C'mon Non! We can't do this without you."
"No Rainbow, it doesn't work like that. I can't just change at will, there has to be like disharmony things going on."
>"And this isn't that?" Gilda says forcefully.
"It is damn it, but I dunno, I guess because this is legal disharmony it doesn't work right now."
>Rainbow groans and Gilda looks down at her floor.
>Goddamn it, you can't just let them down like this.
>And not only them, they other gryphons in the building are pretty cool too.
"Rainbow?" you ask pinching the bridge of your nose.
>"Yeah?" she asks solemnly.
>You can always do some odd jobs around town for money right?
 
"Fly to my house, check on Spike while you're there, and go get the bag of bits that's in my closet." you mumble to yourself as you walk.
>Well, no one can say you aren't generous.
>Maybe Rara is rubbing off on you while you were rubbing off on her.
>"You're being dumb."
>And now Dash is rubbing off on you...
Yeah, either generous or dumb.
>"I'm pretty sure it's just dumb."
C'mon man, we're walking towards a dry cleaners at midnight that's closed, but for some reason has two tracksuited gryphonesses outside of it. I gotta focus here.
>"Sis, what you want here, sis? Looking for fun? Go fuck off to alley until shift change sis, I show you fun" the closer gryphoness sneers.
>Goddamn it Rainbow, she was right in that all you had to do was "be a dude" to seduce Givan. Turns out all gryphonesses are like that one bird, Glucose or whatever.
"Actually, I've got this sizable bag of bits here" you respond while letting them peek inside, "And I hear there's a place a guy could spend this much money inside."
>The other guard snickers, "Always want to be spending, not a smart eh?"
>Maybe not, but at least you can speak properly.
>Despite the shit they give you, they do open the door and let you in.
"Shame about the alley there kitty, sounds like it could've been fun."
>The first guard glares at you as she shuts the door.
>Going to the alley would've been a bad idea, what with Rainbow and Gilda waiting for you to bring Givan back there so you can all jump her.
>You hear chatter and clinks of glass from behind a door with light peeking out through the bottom.
>Opening it reveals a decently sized room with several tables of gryphonesses playing cards.
>Huh, this isn't quite what you had in mind when you were told "casino".
>The gryphons who were serving drinks freeze like deer caught in headlights.
>All the card players slowly turn to look at you.
>"Who paid cheap for minotaur entertainment" one of the tracksuits says.
 
>The room erupts into laughter.
>Yeah, real seductive right from the start Non.
>"Should we show him a two gryphoness game?" another patron says.
"That's alright ladies, I don't play cards..."
>You scan the room hoping that those chatty gryphons were right.
>And sure enough they are, there's Givan.
>You lock eyes with her and she furrows her brow for a moment until you can see her make the connection in her head, "Sis, you go. Now."
"Givan, just the girl I needed..."
>You can hear whoops and hollers from the drunken gangsters in the room.
>Nah, fuck Rainbow, and fuck this seduction plan.
"Look, I was just saying how I don't play cards right? Well I do spend money" you say as you drop the bag on the table.
>Cards and chips go flying everywhere and some of the drunken gangsters start rising out of their seats.
>Whoops...
>"Anonymous..."
I know D, this isn't looking good.
>"Just cut to the chase, girls hate getting the run around!" Discord hisses.
"I'm here to pay the rent, for everybody. And I want the building too."
>Givan raises an eyebrow, "Sis, what are you? Breezy Godfather?"
>You hear mumbles around you about how it's a lot of money.
"I saw how much you charged in the contract Givan, this should cover triple for everyone."
>It's a real good thing the standard of living in this place is terrible, or this would never work.
"It's all in bits, tax-free. Sis."
>Like they pay taxes anyway, but it never hurts to sweet talk a deal right?
"It's a pretty good deal going your way y'know? Market can't be that good for your building, I saw the inside. This was Equestria, anyone'd take a deal like this."
>Just keep listing obvious things Non, sell it.
>Givan looks pensively at you, then glances to your left for a moment, "Maybe not your place sis. Equestria is few miles back that way. To spend like this here..."
>You can hear the screech of chairs being pulled back.
 
>You flash a glance to your left and see some wooden handles being pulled out of tracksuits.
>"Maybe don't want breezy godfather bits, maybe want empty building to sell for more money making sis."
>You swallow hard.
>The back alley is accessible by the hallway just outside of here.
>Big talons like hawks are wrapped around what looks like crossbows.
>Hawks?
>Bows...
>"So go fuck you sis. Don't accept."
>Givan nods to the gangsters behind you.
>You already know what's going to happen, the harmony magic is flowing through you in full force.
*POMF*
>You grab one of the loose cards on the table and fling it with the skill only a trained human Avenger would have.
>It strikes the gryphoness ahead of you.
>Tracksuit to your right draws, but is holding back because of the smoke.
>One on the left is taking aim anyway.
>Knee her in the face, follow the momentum and pass her.
>She fires, at that close a range she hits the gangster that was on your right.
>Smoke is almost gone, and with it your cover.
>Gryphon tries leaping over a table but doesn't quite clear it, sends it tumbling to the floor instead.
>Duck underneath it as the loud thud causes the others to start panic shooting.
>"Anon! We have got to get out of here!"
>You look next to you and see a dog with yellow eyes and red pupils holding your bag in his mouth.
>You nod and try bolting for the door.
>A metal case thuds against your foot which sends you down to the ground.
>It's got a big "H" on it, it's yours.
>Well, "yours" so long as you're Hawkeye anyway.
>You snatch it and send a catbird flying as you strike upwards with it.
>Alright, door.
>Use the calamity for cov-
>A sharp pain followed by several sharp pains come at your from behind.
>Liquid that feels too cold to be blood runs down your back.
>You recover enough to elbow the one who glassed you in the face.
>Discord is by the doorway now looking back at you.
>This looks bad.
 
>"So, are you two..."
"What?"
>"Y'know... he doesn't seem like that much of a dweeb and all."
>You can feel a heat radiating from your cheeks as it dawns on you what Gilda is saying.
>"Us?! Me and... and Anon? N-no way! He's not... he's a total sis. It's not like that."
>You're totally not just covering for anything.
>He's not like any other colt out there, he's cool.
>You couldn't possible risk that...
>Right?
>Gilda hums, "Yeah? Then you wouldn't mind if I-"
*KASSH*
>"AAH!"
>Oh no!
"That was Anon! C'mon G!"
 
>Only three tracksuits left concious, the two guards and the big girl who flung you through the window.
>"Sis, get that sis!" shouts the big one.
>Ah shit.
>Thirty yards.
>Thirty yards between you and cover in the alley.
>Discord is already way ahead of you.
>Gotta move Non.
>You hear the *CHUK* of the bow.
>A searing pain burns in your bicep.
>Too slow.
>Brace for the other one's shot...
>A growl, Rainbow's growl sounds through the pounding rain.
>You turn back to see her and Gilda getting the jump on the two guards.
>You close the gap just in time to punch out the biggest one.
>Shouldn't have used your shot arm, but habits were too strong.
>The pain is intense, but you don't pass out.
>Thank god for this rain, noone can see your crying in the r-
>"I can smell the salt in your tears Anonymous."
Not the time Discord.
>"Maybe you shouldn't make me a dog then, and we can adhere to whatever times you want next time" he growls, both physically and mentally.
>Gilda and Dash help you get to a pharmacy.
>You pay for the things you'll need and sit under the outcropping for shelter so you can get fixed up.
>"So no super healing?" Rainbow asks.
"No" you grumble as Gilda works on bandaging you.
>She mentioned being ranked number one in nursing school before she had to drop out for reasons she didn't elaborate on.
 
>Given how terrible her stitching is, you assume that she's full of it, but you can't exactly stitch your own back very well now can you?
>"Flying? I saw you moving pretty fast back there, but couldn't tell how through the heavy rain."
>You disguise a hiss of pain as a sigh.
"No."
>"So you can't destroy meteors, and you don't have ANY crazy harmony magic like the last thing you did. What can yo-"
>You follow Rainbow's gaze to the three tracksuited gryphonesses that just walked in.
>Everyone freezes.
>"Hey, YOU, sis. you mess up sis. You mess up BAD." the big bird you knocked earlier growls at you.
>"Get up. We get out here, sis." Givan says with a threatening tone as she glances around to the other patrons looking out in the pharmacy.
"Sure, I don't want any trou-"
>You leap forward and sucker punch the big catbird first.
>Following through you manage an elbow on the other tracksuit that was on Givan's left.
>Completely stunned, you managed to grab onto Givan's jacket and slam her into the brick wall of the pharmacy, hard.
"Sis Sis SIS!" she shouts in a panic as she realizes her place on the "fucked meter".
>You glance back to see the shop owners looking at you bewildered.
>Shit man, can't get the cops involved in this.
"It's okay everyone. It's all good! I'm... I'm here on Princess Twilight's order."
>Rainbow's eyes go wide.
>Twilight's smart, she can figure out something to get out of all this right?
>Man are you going to owe her big for this one.
>The patrons all calm down and each of you drag a gangster down the street to nearby taxis.
>You all throw them in, with you putting Givan in there last.
>"Sis, what kind of Princess orders this?" she asks as she wipes blood from her beak.
>"I broke no laws sis. Allowed to raise rent, tough for other birds, but I know my rights."
"Hold up on the rights talk for a sec, you asked me about the Princess right?"
>You lean on the open carriage door.
 
"Twilight is a pretty remarkable pony y'know. She's kind of a goof, but she really does mean well for everyone she can. Equestria as a whole is a lot like that too..."
>You lean into the seat and get up into Givan's face and lay down the veiled threats.
"I want you to look around for a second Givan. Princess Twilight's not here right now, and like you said yourself, Equestria is a a few miles that way."
>She shrinks into her seat some.
"So I'm going to pay you everything that everyone could possibly owe you, and half what I was going to give you for the building outright. That's it. Negotiations are over."
>Her eyes narrow on you.
"You wanted to sell the building? I'm buying it, rights are maintained. The end."
>"I had buyer."
"Don't. Care."
>You toss a bag that has half of your bits into the taxi and get a shittily written note that would grant you ownership over the building.
"A pleasure." you respond smugly before slamming the taxi door shut.
>You turn back to see Gilda and Dash staring at you with wide eyes.
"You wanted to know what I can do Rainbow? I can do this" you gloat while holding out the note at them.
>"Still raining you dummy" Discord points out.
>You curse yourself and run towards them for shelter from the storm.
>Just another normal day huh?
 
 
 
 
 
>Taking down a mob would be awesome she said.
>Beats having to explain the Ponk situation to Rarity you sai-
>Three bolts fly at you.
"Whoa!"
>Two of which implant themselves on your new futzing chariot.
>This looks bad.
>Gilda makes a sharp turn which flings all four of you to one side of the chariot.
>Red's muffled screaming reaches your ears as you draw back another arrow.
>In a way you're grateful those mobsters gagged him.
>The tracksuit's chariots are closing in.
>Really REALLY bad...
 
>The doors to Gild- guess it's actually YOUR building now.
>The doors fling outwards as the tenants rush out to greet all four of you.
>Hugs are given.
>Cheers are cheered.
>And as much as Discord protests, "Don't you dare! Yo- oh... oooh, well this is the kind of pampering a Lord is used to..." pets and scratches are given too.
>"Oh sweet gryphlets, just look at you!"
>Takes a second to realize that was directed at you, man you really hope you don't have like a mild case of serious brain damage.
"Huh? Me?" you glance yourself over, "Oh, don't worry about the blood, most of it isn't mine."
>Gilda is nudged harshly by the gryphon who is addressing you, it's the same one who warned you about Givan earlier, "What kind of gryphoness are you? Letting this poor boy get so hurt!"
>Gilda and Rainbow both shrink a bit with embarrassment, "B-but we were in the alley..." you hear them mumble as a defence.
>The gryphon turns his beak at them and pulls you into the building, "Come here sugar, let's get you all cleaned up. Let the girls sit on that for a bit" he says with a slight growl.
>You were about to say something, but a different thought occurs to you instead.
"Say, I'm guessing you guys heard about Givan, but uh... how exactly? It literally just happened."
>"Oh, you know us gryphons don't you? They say "a little birdie told me" for a reason."
>Hmm...
>Well if the tenants all know, then so could everyo-
"AAH!"
 
>"Oh I know it hurts sweetie. Just be a tough boy for me."
>Futzing peroxide man...
>The arrow going in didn't seem to hurt this much!
>It's kinda weird to be babied as much as you were while Garet, the gryphon whose house you're in and whose babies you're playing with while your clothes are drying, was cleaning you up.
>"Oh, Be careful with little German. He's going through his pecking stage." Garet calls as he checks the dryness of your clothing.
>You see the little guy rear his head back and you slide your leg away from his face just in case.
>"I just can't stop him from making holes, in the walls, the doors, his toys, an- oh! Since you're the landlord now I guess you..." he drops that line of thought quickly, "well maybe that can wait until after..."
>Yeah... you've been told that stay at home dads are kinda like how Garet is right now.
>Wait, after?
"After what?"
>"Why after the party of course!" he chirps.
>Heh, chirp.
>Because birdlions.
>"Oh, don't look so worried Nonny." he says as he presses around the bandaid on your forehead.
>Did you look worried? You thought you were making a goofy smile.
>Brain plz, it was just one bottle and a lot of fists and stuff.
>"Anyone gives you some guff about the way you look right now and they'll wish Givan had gone after them instead of me" he says while puffing out the feathers on his chest proudly.
>You can't help but break out into laughter, only to be joined shortly after by both of his kids.
>"Us guys gotta have each other's tails after all" he says with a gentle nudge.
>You laugh even harder until you realize that he means "backs" as a quadruped, then the majesty of his statement is lost.
>Properly dressed in a purple shirt and dark grey pants with some light stitching and only some blood stains that couldn't come out you feel ready.
>Either that or its the concussion.
"Alright then..."
>You fling open the doors to the roof.
"LET'S PARTY!"
>The tenants all erupt into cheers.
 
>Music is blasting on a record player attached to a speaker that looks like it was made out of a trash can.
>Catbirds of all kinds are groovin', talkin', chillin' and grillin'.
>...Wait.
>Grilling!?
"Aww yeah! That is my JAM!"
>"Hey Anon, do you maybe wanna danc-"
"Outta the way Dashie, I see some meat with my name on it!"
>You walk up to the portly looking gryphoness hovering by the grill.
>"Wow. Th-..." you hear Rainbow grumble before she's drowned out by riotous laughter from Gilda.
>Ignoring them both, you focus on the bullseye.
"Hey! You cookin' these?"
>"Yup."
>Hm, alright...
"Are you cooking these for anyone in particular?"
>"Nah."
"Uh, alright... May I-"
>Dumbass, don't let possible concussions be excuses for lack of manners.
"Sorry, I didn't actually catch your name I don't think..."
>The cook flips over a particularly juicy looking burger before glancing back at you, "Grills. Everyone calls me Grills."
"Oh, well that's easy enough to remember." You extend your hand out to the gryphoness, "The name's-"
>"Hawkguy."
"An- uh, excuse me?"
>"Hawkguy."
"Hawk- No. That's not... how did you even-"
>"You've got eyes just like a hawk's. First pair I've ever seen on a guy."
>She speaks so casually about her reasoning.
>Okay, you should maybe ask someone to watch over you at night. Brain damage is a thing you probably don't need.
"Uh, what the hell. Yeah, Hawkeye." you respond as you shake hands with Grills.
>"Want a burger, steak, or a brat there Hawkguy?" she asks while rolling the sausage over.
>The hunger is real.
"Yes."
>"Which one?"
"Yes!"
>Grills bears a slight smile on her pudgy face.
>One bite.
>That's all it took.
>After that everything kind of blurs together.
>Dancing with Rainbow.
>Listening to Gilda tell the story of what happened, with largely exaggerated segments involving her.
>You let them slide since she's letting you crash at her place.
>Listening to Discord tell you how amazing dog treats are.
 
>Laughing as Discord is chased by Garet's kids.
>Watching Gilda and some other gryphonesses argue about the best way to move a bed into Gilda's apartment after being told that there was no way in Tartarus you would "just sleep on the floor".
>They actually moved two spare beds and a couch in despite the arguing that was going on during the first bed.
>You stretch out on the bed you were lent, letting the aches and pains intensify for a moment as you agitate your stitches.
"Ow..."
>Why did you think that was a good idea?
>But at least that brings you back to now.
>Discord is sleeping on the floor next to your bed, while Rainbow and Gilda are having some pizza and booze in another apartment.
>The ceremonial food and drink of a successful move.
>You felt way too achey and full of various meats to partake so you've just been waiting for sleep to take you.
>Didn't have to wait much longer as you can feel it doing exactly that now.
>A slight moisture on your chest rouses you from however long a slumber you just had.
"Aw man... stitch better not have come out" you whisper to yourself.
>There's definitely a warmth on your chest in addition to the wetness.
>That can't possibly be goo-
>Oh, it's Rainbow.
>She's got a hoof around your neck and her head is buried in your chest.
>The moisture you felt was her drool.
>Well that makes sense.
>And with the mystery being solved and the answer not being "you're bleeding to death" you decide to return to a peaceful slumber.
>Rainbow grumbles slightly as you readjust to a more comfortable position.
>She pulls at your neck some, but relents shortly after.
>The darkness comes for you once more, and you can only pray that it's still sleep and not brain damage.
>Morning sun shines faintly in your eyes.
>You shift in the bed slightly and position the sunlight to strike you directly in your eyes.
>Even with eyelids protecting you it still hurts.
 
"Aah..." you groan as you blink and shift your head so the sun isn't burning your corneas.
>In so doing your chin brushes against some soft fur.
>You have a vague memory of the night before and someone you're familiar with being in your bed then.
>Grills may have slipped something in your food, or it could have been the fabled meatvana you entered last night, but you'd gladly do it again.
>At present though you should probably be concerned about the licking at the base of your neck.
>You pull back the sheets to reveal Discord, Dogcord?, licking you in his sleep.
>"Mmm, yes I would like some more treats..." he sleepprojects into your mind.
"Don't get any funny ideas bro, I'm probably terrible for your little dog heart" you say as you nudge him awake.
>"Hmm? Anonymous...?" he grumbles as he yawns widely in your face.
>Ugh, dog breath.
>Discord yelps as he leaps off the bed only to fall flat on his his ass as a result of attempting to use wings he doesn't have you'd guess.
>You bust out into laughter only to stop when a throbbing pain floods your body.
"Ahh. My... everything" you groan as you go limp on the bed in an attempt to halt the pain.
>"N-no! I was drunk, I didn't-!" Rainbow shouts as she jumps up from her spot on the couch.
>Why does that seem like an "off" place for her to be?
"Mornin' Dash" you groan.
>"Uh... hey."
"You alright?" you ask in a more normal tone as the pain dulls.
>"I was about to ask you the same thing, you look ho- uh, rough."
"I feel rough." you respond as you rub the back of your head, "I bet Discord's feeling pretty ruff too" you add with a shit eating grin on your face.
>Rainbow chuckles while Discord growls quietly.
>You scratch his left ear which causes him to drop the anger completely.
>Huh, wonder if that works when he's back to normal...
"Alright Dashie. I've got things to do today, where's Gilda?"
 
>Rainbow looks around for a moment before pointing a hoof at the pile of covers on the other bed in the living room with a tail sticking out of them.
>"She hogged a lot of beer because she claimed that lifting from the bottom of the stairs was more work" Rainbow remarks with displeasure.
>"I should probably make sure that she's not dead or something."
"Yeah, dead is goo-"
>You whack your foot on your metal case.
"Ow! Futzin' bow case..." you growl as you hop on one foot.
>Rainbow giggles at your little show, "What's in that thing anyway? I couldn't get it open last night."
"Well first of all that's rude" you respond as you undo the latches and open the case.
>Rainbow waves a dismissive hoof at you, "C'mon. We're sisses" she argues.
>You roll your eyes at her before revealing the prized contents inside.
>"Is that a bow? Like a normal bow?"
"Damn right Dashie. What I do is pretty cool, and I'm the best there is at what I do" you answer with a butchered quote from the midget Canadian you can never be now.
>Aww.
>Rainbow snorts, "Seriously? That's what you can do? That's such a lame thing to transform into."
"Hey! It's not lame I-"
>"Oh hold on girls, I just need really slowly draw back this arrow while you're all shooting me with your magic beams and crossbow bolts that are already drawn." Rainbow mocks.
"Yeah? You think this is lame huh?"
>You glance around until you spy what's left of your bit bag and toss a bit at Rainbow.
>It bounces off her head, "Hey!" she growls.
"Go ahead and throw that anywhere in the room. Don't count it down or anything" you command as you grab an arrow out of your quiver.
>She fakes a throw that you wouldn't even dream of responding to.
>Moderately impressed that you didn't react she glances around the room casually.
>You see her eyes lock on to a direction she intend to throw the coin at.
>The instant her hoof starts moving so do you.
 
>The wire tenses.
>Back muscles tighten and lock.
>Slow your breathing.
>Exhale as you visualize the destinations of both objects.
>Bit and arrow.
>Relax your hand...
>*PING*
>"Wha- NO WAY YOU HIT THAT!"
>"Damn right I hit that..." Gilda grumbles sleepily from under the covers.
>You and Rainbow share a look before busting out into childish giggling.
>"I still think you could've done better... I mean what even is all this stuff" she says as she trots around your case.
 
 
 
 
"It's not "stuff" Rainbow, it's my arsenal."
>"It's a bunch of sticks Anon" she responds flatly.
>You grab your quiver, but it slips from your grasp and all of your arrows come spilling out onto the ground.
>Rainbow laughs and Discord tenses up as the sonic arrow rolls out around the floor.
>Damn it.
"Alright... look here Dashie Dash, you gotta respect the gear."
>You pick up the sonic arrow off the floor and hold it out for her.
>"I'm just saying... you told me about Goku, compared to that you ca- AAH!"
>She jumps back as you swing the arrow down next to her ear emitting a high pitched whine that makes Discord yelp as well.
"Sorry D, we'll grab some dog treats on the way back from whoever can authenticate this note."
>"What the hay was that?!"
"Part of my arsenal Rainbow. Just like the rest of it... look, even this thing."
>You hold up an arrow that Rainbow flinches back from, but pretends it was a cramp.
>It's got an additional seeking system at the tip that is designed to trace your bow.
"Boomerang arrow Rainbow Dash. It comes back to you in the end. Boomerang. Respect it."
>You resume loading up your quiver, but find your memory to be fuzzy on many of the other trick arrows you have.
>Rainbow Dash thinks on your words as you drop your bitbag in the case before responding, "Why the hay do you need an arrow that comes back to you after you shoot it Non?"
>What do you need an arrow that comes back to you she asks...
>Huh...
"Because... Boomerangs." you mumble as you snap your case shut and sling it over your shoulder.
>You reach for the door and Discord follows close behind, "You promised me treats Anonymous."
"Gonna go get this paper thing officiated or whatever."
>Also gonna label your arrows with some tape or something, might come in handy, but you can't let Rainbow know that.
>Not after all the "respect the gear" talk.
 
>"Alright, I'll stay with Gilda to make sure she's not gonna die. Don't get into any trouble... without me that is, I gotta make up for yesterday."
>You wave behind as you shut the door and make your way out to find a catbird lawyer or something.
 
>What do you know, there actually was a laywer, Garvey Birdcat Attorney at Law.
>Really nice lady.
>Hippo coworker of hers was kinda pushy though.
>And apparently you've got a thing being sent to you now...
>"So we did the contract thing right?" Discord asks while subtly wagging his tail.
"You're colorblind not deaf bro, you know that we did the contract stuff."
>You pat his head and head towards the direction of what looks like a pizza place, he's going to flip when he realizes the dog he's a copy of loves pizza.
>Rounding a corner you spy it before you.
>It being a shiny, cherry red, mean looking chariot.
>You can't place a finger as to why you feel so drawn to this thing, but it is a damn beauty.
>Has some kind of huge glowy stone thing in the spot where there'd normally be a flyer.
>There's a gryphon with firey red feathers on his head dropping a bag into the chariot.
"Hey, This thing is amazing! I've literally never seen anything like it!"
>The gryphon eyes you up and down briefly, "Well, if you ever get the chance you should buy one. Totally recommend it" he responds playfully.
"This one for sale?"
>The words escape your lips before you've even realized you said it.
>You start to question why, but the most glaring answer in your mind is "think of all the things you can do".
>Before you can even list one Red, the gryphon whose name you don't know responds, "Everything's... negotiable. You've got enough bits?"
"Do I have enough bits... I literally bought an entire building last night" you respond cooly.
>The gryphon leans on the side of your soon to be chariot and gives you a smirk, "Alright, then why don't we head back to my place and... negotiate."
 
"Alright!" you respond while pumping your fist, but a reminder of the place your in right now surfaces to your mind, "Oh wait, this thing isn't stolen right? And if not, do you also have some tape I can have?"
>"I've got tape. Hop on~" he coos.
 
>"So, I think we've reached a fair number don't you think?"
"Yeah, I'm good."
>You were planning to spend this much on the building alone anyway so getting a "free" arcane engine powered chariot is totally sweet.
>"Sure you don't want to... haggle a little there big boy~"
"You kidding me? Any lower and I'd be sure you stole it."
>The gryphon grunts as he stands, "Lemme get you some more tea, you like a lot of sugar right?"
"Oh uh, yeah!" you call out as he makes his way to the kitchens.
>What's his deal?
>Hope he's not backing out of the deal, was he trying to reverse psychology you?
>"Oh this is too precious, you truly have no clue do you Anon?"
Clue about what? Is he gonna back out of this?
>"Perhaps, only to back into it again" he says with a chuckle
What are you get-
>"Okay, I've got your te- WHOA!"
>INCOMING TEA!
>"There you go, don't you feel better."
>The cool rag he has does actually make the stinging on your back a lot less, well, stingy.
>"I'm so sorry!"
"S'alright, clothes are drying and this helps a whole lot actually."
>"Well, y'know we didn't actually... seal the deal" he says as he floats closer to you.
>You didn't seem to realize how close he was getting, your focus was on the line of identical chariots just outside of... you never go this name, Red for now, Red's building.
>The feathers of his chest graze gently against you back sending an involuntary shiver down your spine.
>Alright Non, don't get distracted now. Seal the deal, he said you could haggle.
>You turn to face Red who's giving you a funny look, but you won't be distracted.
 
"So, you said that you're moving outta this town and I don't blame you after being here one day, but why are you leaving all your stuff behind exactly?"
>Aww yeah, borrowing some S.H.I.E.L.D. Interrogation skills.
>Red looks taken aback for a moment before adopting a forced cool look, "Ask me no questions; I'll tell you no lies..." he responds as he slowly closes the gap between you two.
>You saw his eyes flicker for a moment, and while you don't know much about gryphons, you saw signs that are classic for a fearful suspect.
"You're scared of something... or someone."
>He halts his approach and looks tearfully into your eyes.
>You hear the pounding of several small steps just outside Red's apartment.
>You should really ask his nam-
>The bedroom door breaks forward with a loud crack revealing several tracksuitted catbirds behind it.
>"NO!" Red screams.
"Aw sis."
>The Gryphoness who kicked the door grins menacingly at you.
>... Your fully naked, clothes are still drying, bow case is in the chariot, you.
>"Sup Sisses?" she asks as she draws her crossbow, and the others follow suit.
>Red screams as he's knocked out by one of the gangsters.
>Damn, didn't act fast enough.
>Well, the bad news is that they don't seem to be playing nice enough for you to deal with this bowless like you did yesterday.
>You dive over the bed as a flurry of arrows trail just behind you.
>The good news is...
>You tuck down behind a nightstand as they fire the last of their bolts.
>Nope, scratch that.
>There is no good news.
>Everything sucks.
>You topple over a very ornate and heavy lantern as you cower, TACTICALLY COWER, behind the nightstand.
>Very heavy lantern...
>The tracksuit who just loaded her crossbow gets a very close look at just how ornate that lantern is.
>After all, anything is a weapon if you're in deep enough trouble.
>You slide back onto the bed to avoid a bolt going for your face.
>No special skills involved.
 
>The gryphonesses all collectively halt.
>Just the belief that at any time you might have to hurt someone, or someones to stay alive.
>You take the chance to whip one of the flowery sheets on Red's bed at the closest catbird and fling her into her partner on her left.
>And that's where they're underest-
>A sharp pain strikes the back of your head.
>Wood at least, metal would hurt worse.
>You can hear Red struggling and catch a glimpse of Discord's tail at the apartment entrance.
>A balled up talon comes into your view for a brief moment.
 
"Okay... this still doesn't feel like a concussion."
>But isn't that one of the symptoms?
>You glance around the trashed room and gather stock of what just happened.
>A quick glance outside the window shows your cherry chariot as well as all the identical ones are gone.
>At least your clothes are dry...
 
>Be Rainbow Dash.
>What is taking Anon so long?
>You forget that he's, well, a HE.
>For the most part he doesn't act like any stallion, but then there are times where it becomes obvious.
>Like being really good smelling and warm after you've had a few drinks...
>Good thing he's a heavy sleeper or you'd have a hard time explaining that one.
>"Hey, where's that monkey guy of yours?" Gilda asks in a teasing manner.
"I was just wondering that myself, he doesn't really go shopping or anything, bu- hey! He is not "mine"!"
>She holds up her talons defensively, "Hey that's cool D, I was just asking a simple question. No need to get all boyish about it."
>Why are you even doing that Rainbow? Anon's your sis.
>Sure he's a guy and all, but the way he was kicking flank last night... total sis.
>You've never thought of him as anything but... at least not until this whole harmony/chaos thing.
>Can't help but admit that some of those transformations of his were pret-
>Several scratches and rattles come at Gilda's door.
 
>"Aw, if it's some birds saying they're from the east side tell them I'm not home" Gilda says as she "goes to brush her beak".
>Psh, she's always talking big game that'll get her into messes like this.
>You know she does it, but you gotta help a sis out at the same time.
"Hey, if you're looking for anyone nam-"
>Discord comes bolting into the room and starts circling the living room wildly.
"Discord? Are you alright?"
>"The dog?" Gilda calls from the other room.
>He looks between the both of you and gives a series of barks and growls.
>While it's funny to see him try to talk, you're a little worried that he's trying to talk and that Anon isn't with him.
>Gilda nods along while Discord continues "explaining".
>"Oh geez..."
"What? You understood him?"
>"Of course I did, I had to do some work for some Diamond Dogs to scrape up the bits to move here... but don't tell anyone I said that."
>You roll your eyes.
"Fine not a word. Now what did he say?"
>"Well, and my dog is a little rusty, but I think he said..."
 
>"So you're sure he's not 'yours' Rainbow Dash?"
>You groan as loudly as you can while pulling your chariot along to the building Gilda's leading you towards.
>This better be the right one this time, you're getting fed up with the "Oh wait, I think he said THIS building".
"Yes! I don't know why you keep bringing it up!" you sanp back.
>"Well, just look at him for a second, and the fact that he's not afraid of a little scrap here... I just wanted to make sure we're cool sis."
>She's not thinking of-
>You come to a halt and call Anon's name from outside.
>He comes hopping out on one leg as he's putting a shoe on the other.
>Looks like "this one fore sure" was actually for sure.
>Now that Gilda's pointed it out you can't help but notice...
>"Dash, holy- I am SO glad you're here! We gotta move!"
>He hops in the chariot next to Gilda whose eyes are about to fall out of her head as she looks at him.
>His firm muscular...
 
>"Go go! I'll tell you the direction!"
>The way his forearms tense as he lifts the shirt over his head.
>The harness catches as you find yourself floating closer and closer to catch the last glimpse of his flat stomach before the shirt covers it completely.
"Whoa..."
>Anon glances at you before flinging his hands out impatiently.
>"Dash..."
>You realize he's been telling you to go this whole time.
"S-sorry sis, it's just with the abs and th-"
>Anon pinches the bridge of his nose, "Just fly..."
>You shake the lusty haze that's clouding your mind and tear into the air.
"Yeah yeah..."
>You kick it into high speed.
"Keep your shirt on" you growl.
 
>Be Red.
>Stupid.
>Couldn't resist trying to have a little bit of fun.
>Grab your bits, buy your ticket, and get away from this town.
>Get away from... her.
>She didn't take to kindly to you swinging both sides.
>Really didn't take to catching you midswing.
>Couldn't help but want to screw her over for trying to have you killed before you ran away.
>Tried to sell her arcane chariot, maybe have a little fun with that hot minotaur.
>Now here you are, tied and gagged, being taken to her so she can be the last thing you see before she kills you.
>"Aww sis. Sis. Sis. Sis." the driver addresses you.
>Can barely tell any of them apart in those stupid tracksuits.
>"Cause lots of trouble sis, of all cars to steal sis..."
>She rounds a corner as she continues looking back to you, "And if you got scratched sis? She kill you even more than alrea-"
*CRASH*
 
>Be Anon.
"Aw man!"
>It's fucking trashed.
>Red comes crawling out, but the ropes binding his wings and legs don't let him get very far.
>Gilda and Rainbow both gasp.
>"Anon, you were getting dressed as you got out of this guy's place r-right?" Rainbow asks with a slight blush.
>What is she impl-
"No. We were negotiating! He offered me hot tea!"
>Both her and Gilda have dopey grins on their faces.
>Whatever...
 
"You. Get out of my chariot."
>"So do we untie hi-"
>You all hear squawks from afar.
>Those damn identical chariots, of course it was them...
"We gotta untie him, he's the only one who knows how to fly this thing!"
>"Him? Never expected a guy to be able to fly an arcane chariot."
"You can fly this?"
>"I've uh... borrowed some of these before, back wh-"
"Good. Then fly!" you cut Gilda off mid exaggerated story that you can listen to when not being chased by four chariots full of crossbow wielding catbirds.
>YOur case got knocked around during the crash.
>Arrows spilled out futzing everywhere.
>You pick up one with a bulbous tip and toss it at the dazed Gryphoness Rainbow crashed into.
>The bulb shatters and coats her in a sticky black glob.
"PUTTY ARROW SIS!" you shout back over the grinding roar of your chariot.
>"Are you sure you can fly this thing?"
>"S'just... Chineighse or something... gimmie a second" Gilda growls as she fiddles with the panel.
"We don't have a second..."
>You glance around the floor of the chartiot.
"Dash, toss me any arrow that looks different from most of the arrows!"
>She flings one up at you with her wings.
>You catch it and nock it in a flash.
>Looks kind of like the acid-
>No, too heavy for that, but they're taking aim...
>You fire and land a direct hit at the gryphoness' weapon.
>As suspected it doesn't melt, but instead is coated in some high tensile tethers
>Bola arrow, damn.
"Acid Arrow Dash-" the chariot takes a sharp turn, "damnit-" it turns again, "Acid arrow!"
>Rainbow scrambles around on the floor frantically, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!"
>She wings you another arrow, "WHY DON'T YOU HAVE LABELS OR SOMETHING?" she growls.
>Didn't even grab the tape...
>You're all messed up now.
>Tensed up.
>Elbow is too high, shoulder's tight.
>The arrow flies and thankfully whizzes just past the closest flier to strike the enchantment stone just like Rainbow showed you on hers.
 
>The tip shatters and causes the chariot to start melting at the impact point
>The chariot plummets and drags everyone down with it.
>Finally!
>The others slow down to give you some breathing room.
"Hey, I guess I was a little on the money for my question huh? Scared because they were after you for something? Or is it still just me that has them all pissed?"
>Red gives a muffled response through the gag.
>Right, maybe should unti-
"ANON!"
>You glance back up to see the others are catching up as your own chariot makes even louder grinding sounds.
>Damn it Gilda!
>Just before you can nock the arrow, Gilda makes a harsh drop forcing you to catch the arrow in your teeth.
>"Yeowch!" Rainbow shouts as she rubs her butt with a hoof
>Focus Non, don't laugh about butt arrows now.
"Cover your ears!"
>A high pitched whine escapes your fingers and dazes the flier in the nearest chariot.
"Gimmie another- Dash, just get me any damn arrow you can reach!"
>No point in asking for specifics here.
>She flings one at you.
>This is a rare instance where you don't want to catch this in your teeth.
>You aim carefully to make sure to localize damage away from the tracksuits.
*WHOOM*
>The catbirds are all flung out of the exploded chariot violently, but they'll live.
>Fuitzing score on the explosive tip arrow draw on Rainbow's part.
>"You have those?! What if I sat on that one?"
"Might not be such a fat ass I'd wager!"
>An arrow smacks against the back of your head, and you fumble around for a second before you catch it.
>In that time however one of the remaining two chariots manages to catch up and get beside all of you.
>This arrow feels like...
>You fire it towards the corner of a building that's up ahead.
>Red is screaming his head off through the gag as the tracksuits try to board.
>You hang on to your end of the reinforced wire extending from your bow.
>Their chariot snags the tether you made between you and the building.
 
>All four of them are clotheslined off their vehicle.
"HA!"
>"Did you?! How did that even work?!"
"It's the gear Dashie!"
>And with this smoke bomb arrow this last chariot will be a piece of ca-
>"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FLYING!" Gilda screams as she makes a sudden swerve.
>And there goes your arrow.
>Damn!
>What have you got left...
>"They're gaining on us!" Rainbow shouts.
>Flare, Rope, Elec-
>They're taking aim.
>You fire the flare and hold on to the chariot as tightly as you can.
>It blinds everyone but you.
>The chariot swerves and groans, but hot damn does this baby hold.
>The chariot rocks as the blinded tracksuits slam into the side.
>You line up the shot and jump.
>Using the momentum of the swing you almost go falling to your death.
>Swinging was much easier as Spider-Non.
>"Aargh! Lemme go!" Gilda roars as she's fighting off one of the tracksuits with Rainbow's help.
>You swing over and land in the back of their chariot.
>Gotta move fast!
>Footing sucks, and you're way too high up to be doing this but...
*BRZZAK*
>Electo arrow, useful when fired or by hand.
The gryphoness veers harshly towards your cherry ride.
"Oh man..."
 
>Mumbles.
>Loud mumbles.
>Really loud mumbles.
>No wait, that's yelling.
>"Anon!"
"'s my ride alright?"
>"Nonny-"
>You feel a nudge of something pokey, which is to say you were stabbed a little but can't feel things really well right now.
"Hi Sis" growls the last concious gangster left.
>She's holding you at crossbow point while also holding another bow at Rainbow, Gilda, and Red.
>Rainbow's rearhooves are pressing into the handle bow while she's got an arrow drawn back in her mouth.
>You really hope she had no choice but to use your bow herself, because Gilda would have been much better equipped to use it.
>"You don't be making boyish cries 'kay sis?"
"What do those even sound li-"
>"Don't be getting smart with me either sis."
 
>Gilda's talons go around her beak as she calls out to you, "Don't worry Anon, we'll get you back!"
>"You want green boy? You geev me fire slut and I geev you Princess slave!"
>Rainbow Dash attempts a retort, but can't seem to get it out while holding your bow taught.
>The wire's tense.
>Leg muscles are tight and locked.
>Her wings slow to match her breathing.
>Rainbow's nostrils flare as she exhales.
>Relaxes her jaw...
>Aw yeah Rainbow Dash!
>The arrow whizzes past the dual crossbow wielding gryphoness.
>Damn it Rainbow Dash.
"Beeg mistake sis." the gryphoness chuckles, "Sis you make beeg-"
*THWAK*
>"KKG."
>She falls face first into the ground.
>"Insane! That was insane!" Red shouts as Gilda finally removes his gag.
"Boomerang arrow. Comes back to you in the end" you chuckle to yourself while holding up best arrow.