>Day Fractured's date night on Earth >I'm going a date with a girl from Web Dev. class >She's a 6/10; good looks, but a bit chubby >I've learned from one of her friends that she likes Italian food >So, I take her to a local Italian restraunt for our first date >We get seated and order >She orders some cylindrical pasta thing >I, being the poor college student I am, order the cheapest thing on the menu - spaghetti >We all know where this is going >So, we engage in small talk while the pasta is being cooked >Turns out, she's an artist, but isnt an idiot and decided to take something arts and computers so she could find a job >She asks if I want to see some of her art >Well, gee, can I say no? Was there ever an option? >Of course, I say >So, she shows me her art that she's uploaded to devianart >I notice she has a drawing of RD's cutie mark >I ask her about it >Turns out, she likes MLP FiM >Folks, we have a keeper! >She asks how I knew it was RD's cutie mark >I tell her I'm a brony - calling myself a horsefucker in a crowded restraunt doesn't seem to be the smartest thing to do >So, the topic turns to ponies >I accidentally mention I write fanfics >She wants to read them >Well, fuck >At that moment, our food is served >I notice my spaghettis are quivering >I take out my phone and show her my pastebin >She says the titles seem kinda grim - lab, drought, hemophilia - so she clicks on the one titled love >Shit >She starts to read >She mentions the format is a bit weird >I tell her its how the group of authors im part of write     >"Aww, how sweet, a human and Pinkie in a relationship! This 'Anon' wouldn't happen to be you, would it?" she teases >She says that i must have a nice heart to write mushy love stories like this >Things can only go downhill from here >The spaghetti readies itself >The smile on her face slowly fades as she reaches the gore >She puts a hand to her mouth - she looks ill and upset >Finally, she gives me back my phone >"That was awful! How could you write something like that? WHY would you write something like that?!" >Honesty is the best policy, right? "Cuz it's erotic?" >"Youre a sick freak, you know that?!" "What's so sick about wanting to have sex with your intestines?!" >Processing... >Well fuck >"Get away from me, you psycho!" she turns to walk out "No wait! We can have normal sex before we have intestine sex!" I say, loud enough for the entire restraunt to hear >Spaghetti has reached maximum stored energy >Critical overload beginning >The spaghetti explodes in a fiery inferno of ragu and noodles >People scream and turn to run from the explosion, but its impossible to get away from the blast in time >The entire restraunt is engulfed by a fireball of spaghetti and sauce >I look around at the aftermath >People have been torn limb from limb by the shockwave, and the heat of the explosion melted and charred skin >Ragu mixed with the blood, so everything was covered in red >I knew I had to work fast before the authorities arrived >I dropped my pants and started fapping >Unfortunately, i was unable to finish before they arrived - police, ambulences, firetrucks; the works >A police officer walked in, surveying the wreckage >I tried to move, but he spotted me >We stared at each other for a minute, not quite sure what to make of each other >Gauging him to not be a threat, I finished fapping to the gore, then pulled up my pants and walked out >Overall, I think it was a pretty successful date