>Day this stupid story doesn't need a sequel In Equestria
>"Anon, today's the day."
>Getting out of your holding cell, you ponder whether the action that brought you here was justified.
>Pinkie Pie showed the most grotesque display of affection for you that you had ever seen.
>She also destroyed your one joy in life at the very same moment.
>As you walk out of the Ponyville Detention Center, you think that every single punch to the face was worth it.
>Plus for some reason Pinkie didn't get any major injuries from your onslaught.
>She just made a funny face every time you hit her.
>Maybe you can try to find a place in your heart to forgive her after all this time.
>It was already just two hours ago.
>Two hours for assault and battery.
>The justice system makes no sense in pony world.
>The sun graces your skin as you wonder what you should do with the rest of your day.
>Especially since you are now unemployed.
>Maybe it's just time for a good nap. It has been a rough day.
>As you walk home, you wonder what you should do for employment now.
>You could try to see if Applejack needs any help.
>There is also the library. Twilight might need extra help.
>Rarity's Boutique could also be a last resort if necessary.
>"Or you could be Pinkie's sex slave."
>Yeah. There is always-
"Pinkie go away."
>The pink energetic mare hops alongside you.
>"Why Nonny? Is it because of that restraining order?"
"Yes. Precisely."
>"Silly Nonny. That's to prevent you coming to ME! Not me coming to YOU!"
>This fucking mare will drive you insane.
>You just keep walking home, hoping that the pink pony will either run out of things to talk about, get bored and walk away, or die by some miracle.
>None of those happen as you approach your home.
>Turning to her with tired eyes and a sense of desperation, you interrupt her rant about how she should move in with you.
"Pinkie..."
>"Yeah Nonny?" She says excitedly.
"What can I do to have you leave me alone."
>She brightens up and begins hopping up and down.
>"Simple! Eat this!"
>She hands you a plate of pink cookies with pink frosting.
"Why?"
>Her tone becomes a little more caring.
>"I made you these to say I'm sorry for ruining your cake. I know it meant a lot to you..."
>You look down at the cookies.
>They did look delicious.
>You also haven't eaten all day.
>Grabbing a cookie, the scent wafts up to you.
>They smell like they just came out of the oven.
>How does this mare do it?
>Taking a bite, your mouth erupts with the amazing taste of strawberries and pure happiness.
>You begin to shove them into your mouth at an alarming rate.
>These were the greatest thing you have ever eaten.
"That... was... amazing."
>"I'm glad you liked them Nonny. I'll bring more tomorrow morning. Bye Bye!"
>You watch the mare bounce off into the distance.
 
>So began the new routine.
>Instead of sexual harassment, Pinkie would bring you cookies every day.
>Every day you would ask what was in the cookies, and why they were so good.
>Her simple answer was always "It's a secret Nonny!" and she would bounce off.
>Your life became obsessed about the cookies.
>You must know how they were made.
>Soon, baking different cookie recipes and experimenting on cookies were your only occupation.
>After several months, and countless failed attempts, you have decided that you will do the only thing you can do to figure out the recipe.
>Stalk the omnipresent mare.
 
>The sun slowly sets over the horizon as you look into the windows of the Sugarcube Corner bakery.
>If you bide your time long enough, you may be able to watch her make the cookies.
>Hours pass and just as you are about to fall asleep, the lights of the kitchen turn on.
>Straightening back up, you peek back into the kitchen to see Pinkie gathering ingredients.
>Flower, milk, eggs, sugar.
>Yes... this is the moment you have been waiting for.
>She begins to mix all the ingredients together, while humming a happy tune.
>Once the mixture is completed, she preheats the oven and... puts the bowl on the floor.
>What is this crazy mare doing.
>It doesn't matter. You must learn her secret.
>Getting out a tray to cook the sweets on, she pulls a chair up to the bowl.
>She sits on the chair, facing the window and looks directly outside.
>Ducking down, you try to make sure she can't see you.
>Slowly peeking back in, you see Pinkie fondling herself with closed eyes and gritted teeth.
>No. There is no way.
>She increases her pace, and you hear stifled moans floating out the window.
>Does she know that you are right here?
>Her body straightens and she lets out a loud moan as she begins to release pink cum directly into the bowl.
>Your gut clenches and you feel sick to your stomach.
>She smiles as she begins to release a trail of yellow mixture into the batter.
>You fall to the ground as you begin to lose your stomach.
>Those cookies.
>Two months.
>Oh god.
>As you stumble away from the house, her voice calls out to you.
>"If you want to wait a little longer you can get them fresh!"
>Looks like its time to go cry in your bed.
>Fucking Pinkie Pie.