Devils Salad
> In an average town there was an above average Mexican restaurant
> Tex-Mex really, but they had good business
> Every night the staff would have to take out the garbage past a hoard of pests
> Cats, dogs, and worse of all fluffy ponies
> The cats hide and the dogs run whenever they came out
> Fluffy ponies on the other hand ran towards the workers
> "Nice hoomin haff nummies fow fwuffy?"
> "Pwease giff nummies! Mummah nee make miwkie fow bebbehs!"
> "Giff nummies ow smawty hewd giff owies!"
> It's a rare sight away from restaurants
> Here however herds and fluffy families all gather to beg for food
> Every day the beg outside the restaurant for food from patrons
> And every night they beg for food from staff taking out the trash
> At least they don't sleep here
> The alley has seen enough shit
> Let alone multiple herds defecating at all hours
> It's bad enough with the herds at night
> "Meanie munsta weave! Deese Fwuffy wands!"
> Dogs don't take well to being commanded by mobile stress toys
> "NUUU MEANIE MUNSTA HUWT SMAWTY HEWP! HEWP!"
> The fluffies scatter, but always come back
> Dogs have eventually given up trying to eat the tiny animals
> Barely any muscle or fat almost all fluff and bone
> The dogs now ignore the light taps of fluffy attackers occasionally barking and scaring them off
> Cats used to play with the fluffies
> Batting foals and round mothers around
> "Nuuu! Hewp! Mummah! Hewp!"
> "Kitty munsta! Babbeh is nuu toy! Babbeh nee huggies!"
> Several foals meet their end at the hands of kitty boredom
> However; the shitting and squealing fluffies quickly became more trouble than they're worth in amusement
> Cats decided that cleaning themselves after playing with the shit flingers was too much
> They sit on dumpsters and fences away from the dogs and fluffies
> But, the workers are unable to keep the fluffies away
> Twice this week workers have slipped on a fluffy and fallen in shit
> They had to leave and get cleaned up
> The fluffies try hugging, hurting, or pooping on the workers all the time
> With the workers, and even worse the customers, complaining the manager hatches a plan
> Fluffies will eat anything humans eat, but they prefer plants
> Some salad is prepared for the hungry fluffies
> It's actually a special for the restaurant
> Diablo Ensalada
> Really it's just a house salad with some of the hottest peppers and spices haphazardly thrown together on top of a refried bean plate
> It's popular among college students
> With several huge plates of it prepared the manager walks out of the kitchen into the alley
> "Fwuffy hungwy! Tummy huwties! Pwease nummies fow fwuffy?"
> "Okay okay I have food for all the fluffies!"
> They are stunned, amazed, flabbergasted even
> This is the first time any human has given them food
> At a restaurant anyway
> "Yuu.. you giff fwuffy nummies? ... Nummies! Yay! Fwuffy wuv mistah!"
> Setting the large plates down the fluffies begin chomping away
> "Nom nom nom nom nummies suu guud!"
> The fluffy ponies are all happily munching away on the leaves, peppers, and beans
> Then the pepper kicks in
> "Nom nom no.. nom... mouf feww funneh..."
> They keep eating
> Greedily taking all the "Pwetty nummies"
> The pepper does take a while to kick in, but it hits like a freight train
> "Mouf... mouf haff tickowes feww... mouf wawm... wa.. wawm! MOUF WAWM! BUWN! MOUF BUWNY! HEWP! HEAAAH! BUWN!"
> The fluffies who haven't eaten as many peppers ignore their now squealing and fleeing friends
> "Nom nom stupit fwuffies, nummies nuu bad, dey good nummies! nom nom stupit fwuffies... nom nom"
> Too busy eating the double refried beans
> Mixed with a little trouble makers remorse
> Exlax
> Don't tip, too rowdy, annoying prick?
> Trouble makers remorse
> These fluffies don't pay, are obnoxious, and are now going to regret ever bothering your patrons
> "Fwuffy fwiends siwwy! Nummies guud! Tastey nummies make tummy huwties aww gown!"
> In a few minutes the remaining fluffies have eaten all the remaining beans and salad
> "Fankoo' mistah! Tummie owwies aww gown!"
> The fluffies now milling about cleaning each other and wondering where their friends went begin feeling the effects
> "Mummah... tummy huwt... huggies?"
> A foal begins hugging its mother pathetically groaning and mewling about its stomach
> "Mummah! Huwt! HUWT! HEWP! HUWTY! HEEEEE!"
> The foal is shitting out a rocket stream of feces
> Then the colon shoots out
> Soon all of the foals that are weaned are shitting themselves to death
> Then the adults follow suit
> "Owies! I haff nummies! Why tummy huwty?! Mistah fwuffy nee mo' nummies! PWEASE! BIG OWIES! BIG... POOPIES! NUU! BAD POOPIES! HRNNNNGGG!"
> While shitting themselves some even get airborne with the force
> Then runny diarrhea leads to blood
> "Tummy... why huwty... poopie pwace... nuu be meanie..."
> They should've had the peppers, although those fluffies will wish they died when they try to poop in a few hours
> The mass of now crawling mewling fluffies drag themselves away from the restaurant
> "Nuu wike nummies fwum hewe fwuffy weave... *sniff* fwuffy... wea..v..e..."
> Many don't make it out of the alley
> The dams who ate the lion share of the food are even worse off
> They practically shit themselves inside out
> Stress induces labor in a few
> The dams who birth horrible undeveloped foals cry until they die of hunger or internal bleeding
> The rest with bowels voided will die without their herd in a few days
> Or at the hands of the now disgusted cats and dogs watching the scene
> This alley needs a power washing