>Principal Celestia sat at her desk, alone in the quiet of a Friday night.
>She had no real work she had to do this weekend, besides attending Canterlot High's annual bake sale, run by staff such as Vice Principal Luna.
>Being sisters, their relationship was always interesting, especially considering how great a cook Luna was compared to Celestia.
 
>Ever since they were kids, the two had always competed, mostly at cooking.
>Luna usually beat Celestia, with a recipe she refused to reveal for a desert called Moon Cake.
>As stubborn as she was, Celestia had to admit that the cake was borderline orgasmic.
>Hell, who was she kidding? It was the greatest food in the universe.
 
>The bake sale was tomorrow, and Celestia still had not prepared her cake.
>Celestia glanced at the clock.
>It read 8:02.
 
>Realizing that she had to get to the kitchen soon, Celestia grabbed up recipe book out of a drawer and walked out the door into the emptiness of the halls.
>Even though Celestia was used to this kind of eerie mood, something felt off about the school.
>The atmosphere felt almost unreal, as if she were nothing more than a spirit wandering a graveyard.
>Celestia shook off the terror and approached the cafeteria, opening the doors.
 
>Within the cafeteria, things felt much more real, as the moon shone brightly through the windows.
>Celestia flipped the light switch, watching as each light turned on individually, each one having little effect on illuminating the room.
>She walked across the cafeteria towards the kitchen, hearing a soft humming that echoed through the cafeteria.
 
"Luna! Is that you?"
 
>The humming stops all of a sudden, and was replaced by the sound of hurried footsteps.
>A door is heard opening, followed by a loud crash of it being shut.
>Celestia ran into the kitchen, but found no signs of Luna being there at the moment.
 
>On one of the counters in the kitchen, there was a large note.
>Squinting her eyes to adjust to the lighting, Celestia was unable to make out the writing on the paper.
>She brought the paper out into the cafeteria, holding it down on a table.
 
Dearest Sister,
 
I'm afraid I am in a hurry to get home, so I will have to be leaving the premises. I have left you one of my Moon Cakes to show my regret for not being able to be there.
With good intentions,
 
Luna
 
>Albeit an odd way to end a letter, Celestia ignored the format and instantly went looking for her sister's glorious Moon Cake.
>Gazing around the cafeteria, it became apparent it was likely stored back in the kitchen.
>Almost busting down the door, Celestia ran into the kitchen, searching every book and cranny for the promised cake.
 
>Celestia forced the fridge open with great aggression, finding the cake sat down on a rack.
>Being very gentle, Celestia picked up the plate the Moon Cake was on, carrying it with her out into the flickering light of the cafeteria.
>Choosing the nearest table, she placed the plate down, quivering in her dress shirt and making her white breasts bounce with glee.
>Celestia's eyes widened as she stared down at the beautiful masterpiece that was Moon Cake.
 
>She dashes back to the kitchen, grabbing a shiny silver spoon, encrusted with a brightly colored gem.
>Quietly moaning at it's icy touch, she returned to the cafeteria.
>Celestia approached the Moon Cake, with a huge grin adorned.
 
"How long has it been, Mr. Moon?"
 
>She leaned over the table, putting her face right up against the black moon iced into the cake.
 
"It's been too long, that's how long."
 
 
>But as she tried to back away from the cake, Celestia was pulled back towards it like a magnet.
>Celestia tried her hardest to resist the pull of the cake, but it was too great.
>She slammed her face in, sending bits and pieces of cake flying everywhere.
 
>Celestia licked up every piece of the cake on the plate, still craving for more.
>Like a rabid animal, she jumped up off the table, sniffing around for any pieces that were edible.
>All of a sudden, Celestia notices a large, green, humanoid being that had been approaching her from behind until she turned around.
 
"Chad, what are you doing in the cafeteria so late?"
 
>The being raises his eyebrow, while scratching his ass.
 
"Chad? What the hell are you talking about, lasseh?"
 
>Celestia, being very pissed with Chad, reaches out and bitch slaps the motherfucker.
 
"Wrong move, lasseh. The name is Shrek."
 
>Shrek punches Celestia in the chest, sending her flying across the room into a wall.
>Most of her bones crack on impact, but as quickly as they break they heal right back.
>Celestia stands up and brushes herself off, giving Shrek a death glare.
 
>She stomps over to Shrek, stripping down to nothing but underwear as she approaches.
>Her breasts bounce even more as she walks right up next to Shrek.
>She takes off her underwear, and wraps it around his neck, setting up a noose with it.
 
>While struggling, Shrek takes a look down at her genitals.
>He sees a sea cucumber dick.
>Taking a closer look at Celestia, her realizes it was Gaben all along.
 
"Half Life is over, Shrek."