>In the deep woods of the mountains, sits a cabin.
>All alone.
>You, Anon, are the resident, and live in the place all by yourself.
>But you don't have a job, use money or pay taxes.
>The government doesn't even know your whereabouts.
>This land is not owned by you, and you have used wood from trees you cut down to build the cabin yourself.
>Even though it's not your documented profession, you're a lumberjack.
>Most of your day is spent chopping down trees and hunting your food.
>But no one else even goes near this part of the woods.
>The only thing that connects your cabin to the nearest road is a beaten dirt path that you made yourself.
>In order to get any mail, you have to use the post office in the nearest town about 3 miles away to receive packages and letters.
>Your fake identity is Rusty Shackleford, which you use to get mail.
>When you live alone, you develop certain needs.
>Manly needs.
>And only jerking it just ain't enough.
>Hike all the way over to the post office and place an order for a life sized body pillow of your waifu.
>Yes, a body pillow.
>A lonely man who works hard all the time has needs, you know.
>Give specific directions for the delivery person to drive all the way up to the cabin.
>You want this delivery to be discreet, and not in front of everyone in town.
>…
>The mail van stops in front of your place a few hours later at about 8:30pm.
>It swerves clumsily along the path.
>And then crashes into a tree.
 
>The van rolls away into an opening from the impact.
>You immediately run over to help.
>The door on the driver's side opens.
>Barely make out the image of a gray girl with blonde hair step out.
"Miss? Are you alright?" You address her.
>She looks at you, which brings to your attention that her eyes aren't pointing in the same directions.
>Why was she in charge of driving a van and delivering things to people's houses?
>"Yeah. I'm okay. It doesn't look that bad." She replies. "I have a package for… Rusty Shackleford?"
"Yeah, that's me."
>The girl goes to the back of the crashed van and retrieves a long box.
>"Don't worry about the van. This isn't the first time that happened."
"O… kay, then. So, how does the signing thing work? I think there's a pen inside."
>"Alright, let's go."
>She follows you over toward your residence, speaking with you along the way.
"Are… are you sure that your van's going to be okay." You ask.
>"Oh, sure. I've crashed it before. It happens a lot, since I can't really see straight all the time. Sorry about that, but at least I got the package to you. And that's all that matters to you, right?"
"Yeah."
>"And I understand it's… confidential. Right?"
>Nod boldly.
>You don't care if she knows.
>What's she going to do anyway?
>Tell her coworkers?
>Privacy and discretion are her primary concerns.
>At least more than transportation.
 
>"So… this is quite a nice place you've got here." She compliments as you both enter through the front door.
>Walk over to a small nearby desk and pick out a pen from the drawer.
"Eh, it's not much. The place isn't very big at all." You reply as she gets the signing papers out.
>"Well it sure is better than mine." The mail girl compliments.
"Alright, well thanks, then."
>"So, that'll be 59.95. And you also have to sign here." She explains, pointing to a signature line at the bottom.
>You freeze as you're reminded that there is a price that comes with what you purchased.
>It occurs to you that you don't have any money.
>Look over to the mail girl, who is somewhat gazing at you with an adorable look on her face.
>Her pupils aren't pointed at you, but you can tell she's focusing on you.
>"What's wrong?" She asks. "Didn't you… want this?"
"What? No, it's not that. It's just that, I don't really have any money."
>Her eyes widen.
"It's not like I'm poor or anything. I just don't really… use money."
>"You… don't use money? I don't understand."
"Well, you see, I'm a Lumberjack. And a Hunter. I hunt and grow my own food and build my own shelter." You explain. "I have a small field of crops I made a few miles out in a nearby clearing where no one goes. And This entire cabin was built by me. I'm pretty much completely self-sufficient."
>"Whoa…" The girl says. "You're tough, Rusty. But… you still have to pay."
 
>Sigh.
>This is obviously starting to become awkward for her.
>You can sense it in her facial expression.
>But the situation is different for you.
>This is a mere social and financial blunder.
>Immediately know what to say to her.
"I'm very sorry about that. I should have taken into consideration that I would need some form of currency to afford this transaction." You apologize, beginning to plot a way in your head to make your own homemade body pillow from scratch.
>The mail girl looks at you with a worried look in her eyes.
>You can't help but feel at least slightly apologetic.
>But the feeling intensifies as she speaks to you.
>"But... your package..." The girl says to you. "I brought it all the way over here just for you. It's my job to deliver it."
"Alright, look. I don't have any money to pay for this, and that most likely won't be the case any time soon. So I guess you'll just have to return it."
>The girl's crossed eyes jump at the sound of the word 'return'.
>"Re... re-return? But then the delivery will be a failure." She whimpers.
>Is she accumulating tears in her eyes?
"No, wait. There's no reason to be sad about it. It's really no big deal."
>"Maybe for you. But for me, delivering mail is... everything." The gray blonde girl insists, sounding a bit choked up.
>You may not really feel any feelings inside for her, but still, she seems really upset about this.
>"There... there has to be a way!" She vows, now legitimately beginning to tear up.
>Just at that instant, the mail van explodes in the distance.