>Day Boys Don't Cry. In Equestria.
>But men sure do.
>Well, maybe not "men", but you're a man.
>And this Fluttershy pony has intruded into your comfort zone.
>Violated your face--
>---You scrub all you can but you can still feel it--
>--and is going to hurt you if you don't agree to be her boyfriend.
>Maybe if you stay in the shower forever you'll wake up.
>Because this is up there on your nightmare list.
>Like finding out your boss hates you!
>..oh wait, that happened last night.
>Or being sent to a small town to do easy political work for no thanks!
>...
>Gosh, Civil Employee Eight-Zero-Eight you're in a bit of a bad spot.
>And your hands are getting all pruny.
>And it stopped being hot water.
>Oh crud, cold!
>Cold!
>"Anon~, you don't want to be late to work do you?~"
>You step out of the shower.
>She's taken all the towels.
>You had them organized in order of size and color.
>You hang your head and walk into your one-room dwelling.
>Fluttershy looks at your genitals and laughs.
>Shrinkage has occured.
>You blush and try not to look sad and scared.
"...c-c-can I have a t-t-towel please?"
>"Mmm...nope!"
 
>No towel.
>It's almost 6:30.
>You have to get coffee.
>And doughnuts.
>And fritters.
>And you have to be the first in the office if you want to get back in the Mayor's good graces.
>Maybe if you had just been how she wanted you to be you wouldn't have made her swear.
>At a crowded public party.
>There was that nice Unicorn there.
>She seemed like fun.
>But you might've compromised the Mayor's campaign!
>...There's no way she runs without competition.
>Mayoral Elections are very important to small towns.
>Surely someone must run against her.
>Fluttershy is drenching your ties in her...fluids.
"Uhm...Miss Fluttershy-"
>"Call me girlfriend."
"M-m-m-Miss Fluttershy, could you please s-stop uhm...d-d-doing that?"
>She trots over to your closet and looks at your button down shirts.
"P-please don't...I h-have to pay for those."
>She rips one down with her teeth.
>She stomps holes into it.
>You can feel your heart starting to die.
>Your close your eyes and take a deep breath.
>Don't cry.
>You open your eyes and look at the clothing you folded in the hamper.
>Your...punch stained work shirt and tie.
>They were your favorite.
>You get dressed in soiled clothing.
>"Kiss me goodbye."
>You sit on your futon and hold your eyes.
>You won't have time to make up your bed.
>Fluttershy is a jerk.
 
>You arrive at work at 7:03.
>Coffee, all six types the Mayor goes through over the course of a day.
>One plain doughnut, no frosting for you.
>Six of various delicious icings, fillings, and powders for the closers.
>You're not a closer, you hardly deserve the coffee.
>The fritters look nice, but those are for some board meeting.
>You stumble into the office of Mayor Mare holding your bounty.
>She's sitting at the desk.
>She smells of stale alcohol.
>And...
>You can feel it on your face again.
>That's the smell she has.
>Or maybe it's just you still.
>"Anonymo--no. Eight-zero-eight, why are you staring at me?"
"Uhm..."
>"You're three minutes late."
"...I'm s-s-so so sorry sir."
>She gives you a glare that cuts you like a knife.
>Your knees start to shake.
>Oh god no, do not drop anything.
>DO.
>NOT.
>DROP.
>You set the items down on her desk.
>"Eight-zero-eight, does this look like the break room to you, hmm?"
"Oh...no sir, but these are your coffees. I just...wanted to make sure you got them."
>She pushes the boxes aside and look you over.
>"What happened to your clothing?"
"Ah...uhm...w-w-well, funny story you see you-you..uhm.."
>She narrows her eyes.
>You can feel your voice growing tinier.
"...i'msosososorrysir, it won't happen again."
>"See that it doesn't."
 
>You leave her the coffee and put everything else in the break room.
>Other ponies come in and get what they want.
>That one pony with the hourglass takes your icingless doughnut.
>"How come you only eat boring food, Anonymous?"
"Oh...uhm...t-t-that was for m-me Mr. Turner."
>He takes a big bite out of it.
>"You have fun at the big party?"
>Time Turner's popular. Maybe you should try to be more like him.
>"Heard you left with the crazy mare.."
"C-c-crazy mare?"
>"Yeah."
>He takes another bite of your breakfast.
>"I mean, you didn't hear it from me. But she was into that hick, Big Mac once."
>He finishes the only thing you were going to eat all day.
>"Well, he used to talk a lot more than just yups and nopes. Mare is crazy."
>Then he laughs at you.
>"Of course, I'm talking to you. You're not exactly--"
>Mayor Mare steps into the break room and clears her voice.
>Time Turner coughs.
>"Sheesh eight-zero-eight, nobody cares about your irritable bowels. Get back to work."
>He trots out.
>Mayor Mare glares at you.
>...if you weren't such a loser you could recover from this.
 
 
>You sit down at your desk and look over paperwork.
>It's all...really easy.
>You're good at it.
>Pushing paper.
>Knowing tax information.
>Budget work and making sure things go on schedule.
>You're hungry.
>But if you don't work through lunch, the others will make you look bad.
>Worse.
>Sigh.
>It's all busy work anyway, if they just updated their scheduling system you could eliminate half the work.
>But nobody around here listens to you.
>They barely listened to you back in Canterlot.
>...Well, when people--or ponies--have a system they like, they probably don't like change.
>Even if it makes work easier.
>And lets you get in a lunch break.
>Lunch break.
>You'd have to go home and see what happened to your house.
>Pay to change the locks.
>And pay to buy all new clothing.
>Which has to be tailored and is expensive!
>And it's cold out.
>You're a loser, Anon.
>That's why you're worker eight-zero-eight
>And not worker zero-zero-one.
>You know that's not how the identification number system works.
>But still.
 
>You finish all your work by three.
>You finish all the slack Time Turner and Minuette always leave behind before five.
>They always cut out at 4:30.
>Nobody docks their pay.
>Probably because they're popular.
>And cool.
>And have friends who like parties.
>And not reading D&D books for the fun of it.
>...Man, if you had your books you could get a group together.
>No wait.
>They'd think you're a loser.
>And hate you more.
>And make fun of you.
>Because it's a dumb hobby to have for a grown man.
>Mayor Mare stops by your desk at 6:00 in the PM.
>"Burning the midnight oil, Eight-zero-eight?"
"...oh...uhm... yes sir."
>She sighs.
>"I just wanted you to have some fun."
"..Oh..Oh! I uhm...had fun sir."
>She puts a hoof under your chin and makes you look into her eyes.
>"Eight---Anonymous, you need to socialize or else you'll...you'll.."
>She sniffs.
>She gets a big big terrifying grin on her face.
>You pale at the sight of it.
>"Oh. Well!"
>She pops you lightly on the cheek with her hoof.
>"Someone DID have fun."
"...sir, I...I really...can I ta--"
>"Was it Fluttershy? Oh, Anonymous, I'm so happy. She can be very insular. I knew you'd get along!"
"...a-a-about that s-sir..."
>"Anonymous, I'm proud of you. Is she your special somepony? After a night of romance and joy?"
>This is too much. Stop it.
 
"...She's...uhm..."
>Stop it now.
>STOP IT NOW, ANONYMOUS.
"...s-s-she t-told m-m-me..."
>She told you you'd be in danger if you were alone.
>She told you you couldn't have a towel!
"...t-to c-c-call her....m-my girlfriend."
>Anonymous.
>You really are pathetic.
>"Anonymous. Come to my office."
>You follow her into her office.
>She sways her hips a little as she walks.
>She seems happy.
>You aren't.
>Your clothing smells of alcohol and red dye #23 and sweat.
>And you can smell that sex stink again.
>She's got a bottle on her desk.
>"Malt Grapefruit Beer. Have you ever had it?"
"...I try not to d-d-drink sir."
>She pouts.
>"Well, could you have a drink with me?"
"...b-but sir."
>"You say you try, that means you can fail."
>You have a single tumbler.
>And suddenly 6:00 in the PM
>Is 9:00 in the PM.
>She's been gossiping for hours.
>You're nursing that single glass.
>"--And do not get me started on this Mare-Do-Well Business. She's a menace!"
>"Or, was a menace. It was very out of character, I tell you."
>You nod and think of the work you should be doing to get further ahead.
>And avoid going home.
>But the Mayor seems to hate you less.
 
>She leaves at a quarter to 11:00.
>You look at your desk and consider finishing...Caramel's work.
>And Time Turner's work from last week he said you should do for him.
>You should've done that earlier.
>You could go home.
>...There's no way she could still be there after a whole day.
>But there's still a chance.
>You go to your desk.
>You look at your desk calendar.
>You pull off today's word-of-the-day and look at tomorrow's an hour early.
>You're a naughty individual, but a sneak cannot hurt.
>"vacuous - empty or lacking of content"
>"A lack of ideals or intelligence."
>You look at the word.
>You look at today's word.
>"Repugnance"
"...man."
>You get up and leave.
>Walking home in winter is always something you couldn't enjoy.
>Some guys like the cold and the stillness.
>But even when there weren't...windigos and monsters.
>It was still just cold and vacuous.
>A repugnant thing.
>You see the front door of your home is open.
>The moon is nearly as bright as the sun.
>The lights are on in your home.
>...You're very hungry.
 
>You go inside.
>Close the door behind you.
>Oh no...your home.
>It was stark and mostly unfurnished before.
>Now it just...feels bare.
>There are no sheets on your futon.
>Your floor is covered in shredded shirts and ties.
>Your fridge is open.
>And empty.
>You're so angry.
>You are.
>So.
>Angry.
>You grit your teeth.
>And clench your fists.
>And fall on your knees.
>And shake those fists at the heavens.
>And scream!
"...th-this...is...b-b-bad."
>Hardly a mutter.
>You just lay on the ground and cry for a bit.
>Fluttershy emerges from your bathroom.
>She's got a scowl on her face.
>"You didn't tell anyone, did you?"
>You try to speak, but it all comes out mumbles.
>She steps towards you.
>You try to crawl back.
>"You didn't tell anybody you were my boyfriend, did you Anon?"
"..N-n-no...I mean! Wait! Y-y-yeah...I t-told the--"
>She stomps closer and puts a hoof on your belly.
>"You didn't tell anyone you were Fucking Fluttershy."
>She gives you the stare.
>And then she does things.
>Terrible things.