>Day Life is Like a Tom Waits Song. In Equestria.
>You had a friend back in the normal world.
>He wasn't a good person.
>You're in the shower again.
>Your chest pressed against the wall.
>Steam fogging up the room.
>You close your eyes.
>And you're back in that shitty apartment.
>And he's making that disgusting soup.
>"Don't close your eyes."
>He said that a lot.
>Usually when walking in looking like a smashed up haunch of meat.
>Your body aches.
>You don't have any bruises and cuts.
>Be a man, Anonymous.
>Rise above your number, Eight-oh-Eight.
>For a shower it's awfully dry.
>You wish you could get some water on you.
>But in your mind, you're back home.
>So what does it matter.
>"Don't close your eyes."
>Fluttershy slams your head into the tiles.
>She applies pressure until you turn to look at her.
>The ivory-colored strap-on continues to ravage you.
>"Don't close your eyes, Anonymous...just enjoy it."
>She went in dry.
>The shower water does not help.
>Beyond the water hitting the basin.
>And Fluttershy's pants and thrusts.
>You can hear the "schloorching"
>Of being anally penetrated.
>The muscles expand and contract.
>And your eyes are wet.
>On some level
>A primal response level
>You're screaming
>And you're...enjoying the sensation.
>But nothing is coming out.
>"Anonymous, kiss me."
>You're broken.
 
>Coffee.
>Doughnuts. No icing for you.
>No fritters. No board meeting today.
>You managed to salvage one good suit from the snowbank
>And Fluttershy's shredding while you attempted sleep.
>Sleeping with one-eye-open style sleeping.
>On a futon without any sheets or blankets.
>Sit at the desk.
>6:15 in the A.M.
>Everyday you're a little earlier.
>You just drink your coffee.
>And you do everypony's work for them.
>By the time Minuette and Time Turner show up you've finished the budget reports
>And the time tables and some minor parks and recreations paperwork they just forgot to do.
>You walk to Minuette's desk.
"Employee 247."
>You stack the paperwork in front of her.
>"Oh...wow, Eight-zero-eight, you didn't have to do this...kinda makes me look bad."
>Minuette is a nice enough mare, if she did he work on time and didn't cut out early she'd be nicer.
>Apparently she's always on time, but punctuality shouldn't excuse early ducking out.
>You walk over to Time Turner's desk.
>He's nursing a bearclaw and some frappe thing.
"Employee 365."
>He grins at you.
>"Eight-oh-eight, you're looking..."
>His grin twitches into a frown.
>"Hah. Wow..uhm, I dunno...Stark."
>He laughs awkwardly.
>You set the papers down on his desk.
>"Oh wow, thanks buddy. Y'know, me and a couple of the guys around here were going to..uh.."
"I'm. Fine."
>You turn to leave.
>"Well yeah, it's just..."
>"Uh...Hey, I need to take a leak. You need to come with me."
"W..what?"
>He hops off his little stool and puts a hoof into your back, pushing you forward.
>"Less talking more moving before anyone sees you, buddy."
>You're in a bad mood, you shouldn't take it out on your co-workers.
>It's not their fault you suck.
 
>Time Turner shoves you into the bathroom and forces you into a stall.
>"Take your pants off and don't make this weird."
>WHAT.
>You shake with fear and anger.
>Always you will be betrayed.
>...You're just that guy in the grand scheme of things.
>Weak. Worth nothing more than to be prey to a predator.
>Many predators.
>"Eight-zero-eight, I'm not a human expert but I think your asshole is bleeding."
>Oh.
"W-wh--what? Oh no. No-no-no-no-no-no..."
>"Yeah, NO! This is bad. The Mayor's already talked to me about your little fashion flubs."
>You fumble with your belt.
>Dang it, why did you have to invest in a buckle?
>It's nice and pulls the suit together.
>But now it's damning you.
>Turner just kicks the buckle off.
>You pull your pants down.
>A red stain seeps through the back of your undergarments.
>"Yeah..uh, buddy. You sleep in the bad side of town or--you one of uh...those guys?"
"My...my a-a-anus is b-b-bleeding."
>"Yeah, uh...crap."
>He begins to wad up toilet paper between his hooves.
"My anus..is b-b-b-bleeeding."
>"You going to tell all of Equestria about it, or you going to clot that, eight-oh-eight?"
>You look at the displeased expression on his face.
>You look at the bunched up toilet paper.
>You grab it and shove it into your butt hole.
>"It was starting to bleed through your pants, eight-oh-eight."
>You have to work it inside the anus.
>It's embaressing.
>You sit down on the toilet and hang your head.
"S-sorry I was being a j-jerk to you Mr. T-t-turner."
>"You were?--I uh mean, hey, no problem what's your name again?"
"A-a-anonymous..."
>"Eugh too long. Got a nickname?"
"F-f-four-oh-f-four called m-me M-moose."
 
>"Well Moose, couple things. One, why is your ass bleeding and please give me the not gross version; so I know whether to walk out and bleach my brain or get you to the hospital."
>You do start to cry.
>"And two, buddy; you kinda look like crap. I mean, you have these past few days anyway but you sleeping all right? This isn't like a...weird coltfriend situation, is it? Not that there's anything wrong with that."
>He mumbles something about office rumors.
>And how he's not like but SOMEPONIES just...
>And how if you go to Appaloosa one time...
>"ONE TIME...it's all 'Hey how's the Cowcolt, Time Turner...Screw you Minuette, you're the office slu--"
>His attention snaps back to normal.
>"Uh...you crying, Moose?"
"N-no-nyes."
>"You uh...this is a coltfriend thing isn't it?"
"N-no."
>"Oh...that was totally not politically correct was it? Like, implying they cry--I'm stopping now."
>He takes a moment to soak in the situation and nods a little.
>"Yeah, well....Me and some of the other wage slaves were going up to catch a movie this weekend.."
>You nod a little.
>"Tickets are..uh...not expensive, and I figured since you're always getting us coffee and doughnuts...maybe you wanted to come. But--I can see you're kinda...going through something."
"It's...F-f-fluttershy."
>"Oh. Well, I told you she was crazy. Don't stick it in Crazy Mare. She'll break you buddy."
>You frown up at him.
>He actually takes a step back.
>"Or...maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, so you...uhm...What?"
>You just hang your head back down.
>Deep breaths.
>You can feel the tears streaming down your cheeks.
>You don't make a sound.
>"Hhhgn...this is awkward."
>He coughs into his hoof.
>"You uh...want me to get someone to talk to or...you good?"
>Why did you go to that stupid party.
>You were better than this once.
>"Yeah...I'm going to go wash my hooves, I'll see if Four-Oh-Four will take you to the hospital when she shows up to get the mail."
 
>Exiting a workplace
>While concealing a bleeding anus
>This is not one of your prouder moments
>Is this the worst moment in your life?
>You press yourself up against the wall and sidle slowly
>An few co-worker-ponies pass by.
>They don't even notice you.
>This isn't the worst moment in your life,
>But you're getting there.
>Time Turner exits the Mayor's Office and sees you against the wall.
>Inching your way.
>Step by step.
>Towards the exit.
>"What're you even doing?"
>Light sigh of embarrassment.
"I'm..trying to sneak outside so nobody sees m-me."
>"I had that Mayor call everyone for a conference call-"
"Oh! W-who c-calle--"
>"Nobody called. It's a distraction. So you don't have to...spaz out."
>He rolls his eyes and trots up to the exit.
>He looks out into Ponyville.
>"So, what happened anyway?'
"Uhm..."
>"I mean, recently. Because you've gone from being...I dunno 'eh' to 'eugh'."
"I t-told you already...F-fluttershy."
>"Wow. You uhm...want somebody to talk to her or something?"
>You just look at the ground.
>A real man would take care of his own problems.
>Man up.
"...y-yes please."
>Turner tries to crack a smile.
>"Crazy makes you crazy, trust me. I've been there."
>There's a loud crash outside.
>Branches splinter.
>And snow falls in a heavy klumph.
>Time Turner sighs and shakes his head.
>"Hey Four-Oh-Four, you wanna hurry it up? Punctuality counts."
>From under snow bank
>Under a nearby tree
>You can her a groan.
 
>Derpy, aka, Civil Employee 404 is nice.
>You just met the other day.
>She's got those weird eyes, but it'd be mean to say something.
>Or judge her for that.
>She pops her head out of the snow and shakes her head like a dog out of a bath.
>"Who wants to go to the hospital?"
>She climbs out of the snowbank and shakes some twigs out of her mane.
>She's wearing a funny little mail carrier's outfit.
>Time Turner nudges you out the door.
>"Eight-oh-eight needs to see a doctor. I need to get back to work."
>Derpy frowns a big sad frown.
>"OH NO! What happened Moose?"
>Time Turner looks at you.
"Oh...uhm...it's n-n-nothing."
>Turner just rolls his eyes.
>"Just tell her, bud. We're wasting time now."
"My...anus is bleeding."
>Derpy gets a big goofy grin.
>"Time Turner, you scoundrel of a stallion~"
"...m-maybe we can j-just k-kill me now."
>You mutter to yourself.
>She makes a kissy face.
>"You're a class act Derpy, you know that?"
>She blows Turner a big kiss and then shakes her rump at you.
>"Hop on the caboose, Moose."
>You look at her butt.
>She shimmies it.
>She shammies it.
>Shimmy-shammy.
"W-won't ponies notice me r-riding you?"
>Time Turner lets out an exasperated grunt.
>"I gotta get back to work, Moose just let someone know if you're not going to be at work tomorrow."
>Derpy waves at Turner as he departs.
>"Buh-bye Doctah!"
>"I don't get your references, Derp."
>You get on Derpy's butt.
 
>"All aboard the bubble bus!"
>She lifts off into the air a bit quicker than you expected.
>You fall off and find yourself gripping on to her rear legs
>She flutters awkwardly and looks down at you between her legs.
>"Moose, I thought you were on the bubble bus."
>You're about twenty feet off the ground far too quickly for your comfort.
"I-I...fell."
>You're shaking something fierce.
>She's not paying attention to where she's flying.
>A few letters spill out of her carrier saddle bags.
>"Do you want me to land Moosey-goose?"
>You really do.
>But you're flying over the market now.
>Noponies are paying attention.
>But they might if you land.
>You reach an arm up and grab her flank.
>You begin to pull yourself up.
>A few inches at a time.
>But it's too hard.
>You make the effort though.
>She lands anyway and you get on proper.
>You're at the hospital when you get on proper.
"...Oh."
>She giggles.
>"You're a good climber, Moose. T-tight grip."
>You smile at the compliment.
>She probably meant it.
>"How come your booty is bleeding anyway, Moose-a-roose?"
>You sigh.
"...b-because of a...bad pegasus."
>She frowns.
>"It wasn't the muffins was it?"
>She begins to panic.
>"I only dropped the egg shells in them one time! And I thought I ate that one I'm so-super-duper-sorry Moose! I'm not a bad pegasus, I'm really nice. Nice and fun and bubbly and uhm....sor--"
>You always make a mess of things.
"Wasn't you! Sorry. Sorry Derpy...it's someone else."
>She wipes her brow and smiles.
>"Oh...and somepony else is--"
>She sounds like she's awkwardly trying to broach the subject.
"It was a f-f-fe--lady."
>She nods and bites her lip.
>"I gotta deliver the mail...cuz that's my job. But you get well soon Moose! I'll bring you mail if you get any!"
>You thank her and she scoots off through the air with all the grace of a toaster oven.
 
>Hospitals are just as sterile here as they are back home.
>And just as slow.
>You fill out paperwork with exceptional quickness.
>A nurse takes you to a little room and you disrobe.
>She has a little grin when she sees you pull a clotted
>Dried.
>Bloody clump of tissues out of your butt.
>You lay on a bed and just watch the world outside the window for a bit.
>You'd wax poetically about life not being fair.
>But the pony in the bed next to you doesn't have any hair.
>And he's clearly going through something serious.
>You're having a great day compared to him.
>That's probably offensive.
>Nothing eventful happens until the doctor gives you a once-over.
>"Four-to-six pills a night, don't do anything strenuous unless you want an infection."
>Her voice is quite condescending.
>"Should clear up within a week."
>You can go to work tomorrow.
>You've got a prescription.
>And the rest of the day to hopefully catch up on sleep and nourishment.
>If Fluttershy isn't at your place.
>Wait.
>You work late nights.
>And leave early in the morning.
>There's never anything in the house.
>And there's nothing left for her to destroy in there.
>You feel a smile coming on.
>It's so good.
>You get dressed and leave the hospital.
>You arrive home before
>Freaking Fluttershy
>That Jerk.
 
>It's mid-afternoon.
>You've pushed your futon up against the door.
>And locked it.
>You've closed all your windows.
>And locked them as tight as possible.
>You even lock that tiny little window in the bathroom.
>You lay on the floor in the middle of your living room / kitchen / dining area.
>You laugh.
"Y-yeah! T-take t-t-t-that F-fflutterjerk."
>You even pump a fist in the air.
>You take your pills.
>Today might end up being a good day.
>You clean up the shredded clothing of your apartment.
>You find some dry noodles in a pantry.
>It's just like college life again.
>Hum a little ditty.
>Boil some noodles.
>Farafel.
>Spaghetti reminds you of worms.
>You enjoy a nice meal of spaghetti and water.
>You camp out on your rug and just nosh.
>And it feels good.
>Your ass hurts now.
>You feel good otherwise.
>You take some more pills.
>Nap on the rug.
 
>"ANONYMOUS! OPEN THE DOOR!"
>You look up from your place on the ground.
>Quite dark outside.
>"A-a-anonymous...please...ponies m-might see me...mister."
>That sounds...
>Quite unlike the Fluttershy you know.
>You stick close to the ground.
>"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!"
>No she can't.
>Whatever time it is now, it's still earlier than when you normally get home!
>Probably!
>...You'd be doing much better if you got overtime.
>But it's all voluntary work anyway--
>CONCENTRATE ANONYMOUS
>Right-o.
"N-n-no."
>She probably can't hear you.
>"Anonymous...p-p-p-puh-please...It's F-fluttershy...it's dark out."
"No!"
>Not a shout.
>But loud enough!
>"I c-can't hear you...sweetie."
>She presses herself up against a window.
>Her eye looking around creepily for you.
>Thank you kitchen counter for obstructing her view.
"It's...IT's MY H-H-HOUSE! And we-...uhm...WE ARE Nuh-NOT DATING!"
>Yeah!
>Go you!
>You peek from your spot on the ground.
>Fluttershy looks like she's going to cry.
>You feel bad now.
>Stop it.
>You feel some pity still.
>"B-but you l-love me."
"I d-d-don't even know you."
>She seems to have heard that.
>"...but y-you never w-wanted to."
>You begin to feel a sinking feeling in your stomach.
>And then you can feel your human roommate from a better world sock you in the gut.
>How Does That Change a THING?
>She's used you and abused you.
>She's outside.
>She feels bad.
>Drink some beer and feel good DAM--darn it!
>You have no beers to drink.
"Just leave me alone, Fluttershy."
>You didn't even stutter.
>Today you are a man.
>And this weekend,
>You sure as shoot
>Are gonna go catch a movie.
>Because
>YOU
>ARE
>A
>M-A-N.
>...yay.