>Just another day on the job
>dispatched to district 3 code sc-9
>word of tinny screams heard from broken down house
>I take the left side and the others take the left
>start smashing down the doors
>"COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP"
>suddenly naked hairy man wearing glasses runs out and jumps on a unicycle
>the others give chase while I investigate the house
>find about ten fluffy ponies
>one has gone under so much trauma that it just stays silent with a terrified look on its face
>"wan' noo daddeh" is heard throughout the room
>the smell is unbearable as you carry them out to the truck kennels
>you plan to adopt one of these soon thanks to the incident
>truck is loaded and I drive out
>NEXT TIME, ON PORTLAND ANIMAL COPS