>Day Lonely Island in Equestria.
>Wake up.
>Don't shit, shower, or shave.
>Fuck the system.
>You don't have to impress these bitches.
>You remember to grab your fedora though.
>Grab your trusty iPony and magically-operated tiny speaker.
>Hit play on that bitch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAYL5H46QnQ
>Fling open the door and stroll outside.
>? You are walking through the city streets.
>A [yellow] mare walks up to you and hands you her latest "energy drink."
>"Rut faster, cum higher."
Mare... I'm not gonna let you poison me...
>You throw it on the ground! ?
>It makes an unceremonious ~pomf~
? You must think I'm a joke. ?
>She blinks.
? I won't be one of your sex toys. Man...
Put that garbage in another p0ne's face. ?
>You point to a market vendor.
>? She flies to her favorite hot dog stand.
>The stallion says: "You come here all the time. Here's one for free."
>You say:
Man... What does she look like? A Rarity case?
>She took it...
>And shoved it in her mound! ?
>You gag.
? I don't need your clop show! ?
>Fluttershy quivers and gasps.
>? "Now I'm a mare!"
Please! You can't fuck that hotdog, 'Shy...
 
>At the farmer's market with your so-called marefriend...
>She hands you a banana.
>She says it's your dock. [and licks the tip]
Man... This ain't my cock. That's a banana!
>She stuffed it in her mound! ?
>It makes a disgusting squish.
? What? You think I'm horny? ?
>She nods sheepishly.
? I won't be one of your sex toys!
My dick's not a nanner... DUH!
 
>Some Pinkie hands you cake at her birthday party.
What chu want me to do with this, eat it?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GROUND! ?
>Pinkie whimpers.
>? You throw the rest of the cake too.
Welcome to the real world, Pinkie! ?
 
>Walk back through town.
>? So many p0nes to throw all around.
>Like her, and her, and him, and even her. ?
>AJ, Berry Punch, Big Mac, and Twilight all go flying.
? I am Anooooooon! ?
>AJ and Twi scowl.
>? Two Harmony p0nies try to give you their autograph.
>Ground!
Nop0ny wants your autograph! P0nies... ?
>Twilight's horn starts to glow.
>? Then the two p0nies got up.
>Turns out Twi can be a taser.
>And they tase you in the butt hole!
>You fall to the ground.
>The p0nies don't let up.
>Horning at your butt hole.
>Over. And over.
>You're screaming and squirming.
My butthole is on fire!
>The moral of the story is...
>Don't hang out with rapists. ?
>You shake your head.
? Mares... ?