>Day the price is finally right in Equestria.
>Wake up.
>$hit. $hower. And $have.
>Mosey on back to your room and pick out your outfit for today.
>White undershirt, black suit, black pants, green mask?
Nah.
>White undershirt, black suit, black pants, green mask?
>You take a whiff and reel.
Whuff-
>They smell like the entire Apple family had an orgy and used your clothes for the sheets.
>And then had Winona shit on them for good measure.
Pass.
>White undershirt, black suit, black pants, green mask?
It's perfect!
>Don your attire with perfect timing.
>As you lace up your second shoe, you hear a rapping coming from the front of your house.
Well, at least she waited for me to get dressed today...
>You walk to your door and do some quick aerobics to stretch out your punting leg before reaching a hand out and turning the knob.
>Despite being a seasoned Flutter-fetish-attemptee, the sight before you still manages to elicit shock.
>Fluttershy is wearing a stunning, glimmering, silver dress.
>She has her mane done up with a few pins.
>And she's sporting one of those needlessly long, pencil thin microphones.
>As for what it's plugged into, you haven't the slightest.
>"A-Anon..." Fluttershy says meekly as she fidgets on the spot. "C-C-Cum..."
>You tap a finger to your chin.
All this work and you're still going to just rush right into it?
>She blushes but simply redoubles her efforts. "C-C-C-Come on d-d-down!"
>She whimpers and shuts her eyes as loud music and lights flash from nowhere.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9ZkWiGprrc
HOLY FUCK THE WHAT?
>A red carpet rolls out, leading to a stage set with three curtains and a podium.
>Wait. When did that get there?
>You turn around and walk back inside, shutting and locking your door.
 
>Unfortunately, the music also manages to follow you inside.
>You sigh.
>There's really no use trying.
>You walk back outside and up to the podium.
>Luckily, you are rewarded with the cessation of the blaring trumpets.
>Fluttershy nervously trots to center stage wearing a weak smile before tripping over her microphone cord.
>She falls with a squeak, managing to tangle herself up in the wire as she struggles.
>Your palm meets your face and you drag it down to your chin.
God damnit, Fluttershy.
>You leave your podium to go rescue the hapless mare.
>Fortunately, since her natural response to danger is to tense up and fall over, she is easy to extricate.
>Once the deed is done, you return to the podium and cradle your head in your palm.
>Fluttershy stands back up and hides behind her mane. "Th-Thank you, Anon..."
>You give a sweeping motion with your free hand.
Let's just get this over with, shall we?
>She straightens up and whimpers. "O-Okay..."
>Spotlights flare up and all train themselves on you.
>"Welcome to 'W-Who Wants What's Behind the C-Curtain?'"
>A fanfare plays flaccidly.
>You swirl your index finger in the air apathetically.
Woo...
>"So, Anon... D-Do you know h-how to play?" Her mane moves to hide her right eye yet again.
Go ahead.
>You drum your fingers along your dais.
>"W-Well, I show you what's behind each curtain and you p-pick one. And that's your prize..."
>You stop drumming, waiting for her to continue her explanation.
>She doesn't.
Wait... That's it?
>She nods.
How is this a game? Are there even any stakes?
>She flinches at your peeved expression. "I guess n-not..." She looks to the ground and sulks.
>Damn. You actually feel a little bad for the overgrown canary...
Alright, fine.
>You sigh.
I'll play your silly little game.
>Your stomach rumbles.
And then I'm getting breakfast.
 
>She squees and flutters over to the far-left set of drapes labeled with a big number [spoiler]Apple[/spoiler] >One.
>"W-Well, Anon. Let's see what's behind..."
>A drum roll starts up and the spotlights go crazy before focusing on the numbered placard.
>"Curtain Number O-One!"
>The veil parts dramatically to reveal...
>"A fully functional c-cum-poo-turr... with magical access to Earth's internet..."
>You perk up from your previous slouch.
>"The parts are replaced magically to accommodate for the l-latest tech-technological developments and any software you want can be downloaded for free."
Holy shit... How is that even possible? Fluttershy, that's amazing!
>She smiles triumphantly. "Well, mister. Don't decide just yet." She prances over to the next curtain.
>"Because you haven't seen what's behind Curtain Number Two!"
>The fanfare and light show repeats itself.
>The drapes part and your nose is met with a medley of savory smells.
>Before you is an immaculately set table displaying a huge variety of succulent meat.
>"Sirloin, steak, h-hamburger, glazed ham, bacon, ribs, chicken. Any kind of meat your h-human taste buds desire, yours for free, anytime you want, for a lifetime!"
>You can tell that she's forcing a smile.
Fluttershy... You didn't have to...
>She sniffles. "If it's for you Anon... I'll do an-anything."
>With a shake of her head, she perks back up and flies over to the final set of hanging covers.
>"Finally, there's Curtain Number Three!"
>Again the curtain opens, this time leaving in its wake a mural of Fluttershy, bent over and exposing her plot.
>You dry heave.
>"You get to have h-hot monkey sex anytime you want with this b-beautiful mare, voted prettiest p0ny in P0nyville in the latest issue of 'Mare Models'. Y-You'll spend countless hours p-pounding her soaking wet-"
Okay, okay! That's enough! Give me a minute to make my decision.
 
>She nods and more music starts up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Wi8Fv0AJA4
>Well, Curtain Three is definitely out.
>So it's between a computer that constantly updates itself and is hooked up to the internet or meat whenever you fucking want it.
>Damn. It'd be really nice to have your internet life back...
>But you haven't had meat in months...
>And you can still smell it wafting its way to you.
>Your stomach grumbles.
>Damnit. This decision is biased...
>You close your eyes tight and take a deep breath.
>Meat sounds good, but...
>If you had your computer back you could probably actually bear to live in this place.
>And you'll get to talk to all of your friends again.
>You open your eyes and seek out Fluttershy.
Alright. I've made my choice.
>"Alright, A-Anon. Which prize do you pick?"
I choose...
>Drum roll and lights.
Curtain Number One.
>Confetti and streamers fall from the sky as more music plays.
>Fluttershy claps her hooves together. "Congratulations, Anon. I hope you enjoy your brand new cum-poo-turr!"
>She leans in close to you. "Unless..."
>The music stops.
>"You want to take whatever is in the Mystery Box..." She grins and presents a cardboard prism no bigger than an ordinary shoe box.
Mystery... Box...?
>Your blood runs cold and sweat starts to form on your brow.
Mystery...
>Your body tenses as your adrenaline starts to flow through you.
Box?
>Foam starts to form at the corners of your mouth.
>Shit.
>Who can resist the allure of the Mystery Box?
>Literally anything could be in there.
>Even a badass computer.
>You know how long you've wanted something like that!
>Fluttershy jiggles the box in front of you. "Of course, it would be pretty silly to take the-"
I'LL TAKE THE BOX!
 
>You snatch it from her hooves and rip the top off.
>Inside you find nothing other than-
[spoiler]>A dragon dildo[/spoiler]
>You fall to your knees, your spirit crushed.
FUUUUUUUUUUUU-
>Fluttershy puts a hoof up to cover her mouth as she giggles.
>"Silly Anon. The Mystery Box is always a [spoiler]dragon dildo.[/spoiler]
>Fucking Mystery Box.