>You are George Costanza.
>Unemployed, and living with your parents.
>Plans never go your way.
>Especially today.
>Driving down the street to get to Jerry’s, a squirrel gets in front of your car.
>As your swerve out of the way, just to crash into a parked car.
>Which happens to have it’s owner in it.
>He gets out of the car to view the wreckage.
>”What the hell?  Do you know how much this cost me?”
“I, uh, don’t know.”
>”A hell of a lot more than you make.”
>He’s got you there.
“And how much may that be?”
>”53,200 dollars.”
>The repairs won’t cost that much.
>As he’s muttering “My car…” your phone rings.
>You pick it up.
“Hello?”
>”Hello Georgie!”
“Hey Ma.”
>”We’ve run into a problem here.”
“What may that be?”
>”We need you to move out.”
>Oh god, no.
“Why’s that.”
>”You need to get a job, and a life Georgie.”
“What?! Are you insane?”
>Click.
>They expect you to do all that?
>It’s like they don’t know at all.
>It then dawns on you.
>You have to pay this guy, without help.
>Your hands ball up.
>You grit your teeth.
>And at the top of your lungs you yell with fury.
“GEORGE IS GETTING UPSET!”
>Doing so causes a black hole to appear.
>You yell in terror as you’re swept into the black abyss.
1/?
 
>God forbid you pass out when you’re in the black hole.
>No, you sat there flying through time and space.
>And when you flew out of it.
>Flying out, you hit a building that looks surprisingly like a cupcake.
>It doesn’t feel like one though.
>You bounce back onto the ground.
>The impact makes you see stars.
>As well as pink horses.
>”Hey mister!  Are you feeling okay?”
“No… I’m not okay!  Get help!”
>”Why’s that?”
>You’re too tired to answer.
>Your body finally submits to sleep.
 
>Beginning to awake, you hear talking of the pink one.
>”And then a light came out of the sky and he went WHOOSH!”
>You rub your head.
>What happened?
>Oh, right.
>It’s okay now, home.
>”And he hit Sugarcube Corner like BAM!”
>Opening your eyes, you see bright colors.
>That isn’t your roof.
>Nor is this your bed.
>You get out of bed with a large
>”Oh, he must be up now.  Later!”
>She literally pops up into your face.
>”Hey!  My name’s Pinkie Pie, what’s yours?”
2/?
 
>Stepping back a bit, you realize this is real.
>Might as well make some friends.
“George Costanza.”
>You put your hand out for her to shake.
>She grabs it, and shakes it furiously.
>As you let go, your arm is already sore.
“Next time, could you go easy on the shaking?”
>”Nope!”
>She grins at you.
>You can already tell she won’t change her mind.
“So, where am I, exactly?”
>”Sugarcube Corner!”
“Would that be the building I crashed into?”
>”Yep!”
>She continues to smile.
>Wouldn’t that hurt after a while?
“So, uh, what do you have to eat?”
>”Well, we have plenty of baked goods, such as…”
>She rattles on about what she bakes every day, and more.
“I think I’ll just have a muffin.”
>”Coming right up.”
>In a blur, she’s downstairs, and back to you, holding a muffin in hoof.
>”Here you go!”
“Yeah, thanks.”
>You don’t expect much, for it’s just a muffin.
>As you take a bite, it exceeds your expectations by a good deal.
“This is a very good muffin.”
>”Thank you!  I made that myself.”
>You finish the muffin is satisfaction.
“So, can I look around a bit now?”
>”Sure, follow me!”
>She hops downstairs, and you follow.
>Let’s see what this place has to offer.
>Stepping outside, you’re greeted by the sight of a little town.
>Fairly basic, in your opinion.
>More horses are in the street, talking and such.
>You just came to a world where your chances with a woman are worse than before.
>Fantastic.
>”Come on Georgie, we need to see Twilight really quick.”
>The names are going to get weirder, aren’t they?
>Only one way to find out.
“I’m coming, just hold on.”
>You do a light jog after Pinkie.
>Rather not relive the Summer of George on your first day, you know?
>”Here we are!”
>Looking ahead, you see a large crystal tree.
>Flashy.
3/?
 
>Pinkie knocks on the door, and a purple pony, who you guess is Twilight, opens it.
>”Hey, Pinkie.  What do you need?”
>She then looks up at you.
>”Oh, another human?”
>You aren’t the only one?
>”Have you introduced him to Anon yet?”
>Pinkie thinks for a moment.
>”I don’t think so, but he will at the party!”
>Party?
>Before you can ask what she means, Pinkie is already gone.
>Twilight sighs.
>”The party will probably be done soon.  Why don’t you walk back with me?”
>Since you don’t know the town to well, you agree.
>As you’re walking, she begins to ask some questions.
>”How did you get here?”
“Some kind of black hole thing.  I’m not sure what it was.”
>”Really?  Michael said the same thing.”
>Remember to ask about that later.
>”What did you do before you came here?”
>Probably shouldn’t lie right now.
“Unemployed.”
>”Oh, okay.”
>Twilight looks a bit disappointed.
>You look back ahead to see Sugarcube Corner.
“Here we are.”
>You go up the steps and open the door.
>”SURPRISE!”
>You back up and fall down the steps, and hit your back hard.
>Pinkie comes out and looks over you.
>”Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
>You get up and go inside to celebrate…
>Coming to “Ponyville”.
>There will be more pony puns, you just know it.
>But for now, time to enjoy yourself.
>Maybe.
 
>The party was starting to wind down.
>It was fun, and you got to know a lot of ponies in the process.
>As well as Anon, who was quite the character.
>Not like Pinkie or Kramer, though.
>All in all, it was great, but there was one problem.
>There was one mare at the party who was just staring at you.
>Though you tried to act like you didn’t notice, she caught on quick.
>That was the only pony you didn’t meet at the party.
>How odd.
4/?
 
>It’s a couple days after your arrival.
>In those days, the staring pony has been around.
>But goes back to what she’s doing when you get near or are looking in her direction.
>Mostly when you’re hanging out with friends at sugarcube corner.
>Other times when you’re just in the park, sitting on a bench.
>There isn’t too much to do here.
>Back to the present, you’re sitting in a booth with your friends, who consisted of Anon, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie.
>Anon was finishing explaining on who Michael was.
>”And he just left a few days afterwords.”
“So you’re telling me that Michael Jordan, the Basketball star, came here?”
>”Yes, it’s true.”
>This world is getting weirder and weirder.
>You think now is the best time to assess the mare situation.
“So, I’ve got a story for you guys.”
>They’re all ears.
“So anyway, there’s this mare from the party…”
>So you explain the situation, and say you might have a stalker.
>You don’t know if said mare heard over the conversation.
>Anon thinks for a moment.
>”I think you might need to talk to her about it.”
“Anon, you of all people should know I don’t approach strange women.”
>”Either way, you should try to correct the situation before it bites you in the ass.”
“Yeah, and how would you know?”
>”Experience.”
>Just drop it, George.
>You can tell it’s making him uncomfortable.
“Anyway, what if it doesn’t work?”
>He shrugs his shoulders.
>”Deal with it and hope for the best.”
>Hoping for the best isn’t really your strong suit.
>You have no other options, though.
“Alright, I’ll go ask her about it.”
>Pinkie pops out of her seat.
>”I know you can do it, Georgie!”
“Thanks Pinkie.”
>Rarity just nods.
“Well, here I go.”
5/?
 
>You get out of your seat, and walk over to the pony.
>Getting a better look, you see that she’s a blue unicorn.
“Excuse me, uh, miss.”
>She looks up to you.
“I’ve been noticing that you stare at me when I’m nearby, any reason for that?”
>”What do you mean?”
“What I mean is that I think you might be stalking me.”
>”What?  Why would I want to stalk a stocky, balding human?”
>She then gets up and glares at you at the way out.
>Slowly you get back you to your seat.
>As you return, Pinkie is laughing, Anon is smiling, and Rarity tries to hide hers with a hoof.
“I could have sworn it was her!”
>Anon puts a hand on your shoulder after you sit down.
>”It’s fine, it could have been much worse.”
“This means that she’s still out there, Anon, and I still have to deal with her!”
>”Okay, and still, it will be fine.  We’ve got your back, right gals?”
>Rarity removes the hoof from her lips.
>”Of course, darling.”
>Pinkie holds some more freshly baked muffins.
>”Yeah, Georgie!  That’s what friends are for.”
>You grab a muffin.
“Thanks guys, I really appreciate that.”
 
>You are Chrysalis.
>After studying this “George Costanza”, you’ve come to a conclusion.
>He has low self-esteem, and seems to be observant to his surroundings.
>Much so, he could have foiled your plans.
>Today, you switched your disguise to an orange earth pony.
>Which worked in your favor.
>You’ll need to be more careful with this human.
>Yes, very careful, indeed.
6/?
 
>Anon and Rarity take off, having things to do.
>So you and Pinkie are still at Sugarcube Corner.
>”So, whacha thinking about?
“Home.”
>”You’ll be fine, Mikey found a way home.”
“I know, but I don’t remember doing anything special before I-”
>Wait, you remember.
>You yelled before the hole appeared..
>That may be the answer.
“George is getting upset!”
>Nothing happens.
>“Aw, don’t be upset, we can help!”
“No, I was trying to see if I knew a way home.”
>”Oh, okay then.”
>Pinkie trots off back into her room.
>Since you have nothing better to do, you go to the guest bedroom.
>You guess a nap might calm your nerves.
>As you’re about to fall asleep, the door creaks open.
>Looking over, you see Pinkie, but something is wrong with her eyes.
>They’re green.
“Oh, hey Pinkie.  What’s going on?”
>She starts to walk over to you.
“Uh, are you feeling alright?”
>”Yes, I’m fantastic.”
>Her voice doesn’t have it’s usual bubbliness.
>It’s more calm and serious.
>”I hope you don’t mind if I do THIS.”
>She explodes into green fire.
>Oh god!  You’ve got to get out of here!
>In a mad dash, you get to the door.
>You try to open it, but it’s locked.
>Turning around, you put your back against the door.
>The fire’s gone, but so is Pinkie.
>No, she’s replaced by a bug like creature, with holes in her legs.
>A bit like swiss cheese.
>Magically being pulled to the bed, you yell for help.
>She then pulls out some rope.
“No, not again!”
>You refuse to be stuck to a bed once more.
>Struggling to break free, Swiss giggles.
>”I’m too strong for that, George.”
>Alarms sound all in your head.
>A creature with the ability to change form, is your stalker.
>How were you supposed to know?
7/?
 
>You hear Pinkie banging on the door.
>”Georgie, are you okay?”
>You try to say something, but nothing comes out.
>Fear doesn’t help speech.
>”George?”
>Pinkie better do something quick.
>Who knows what diseases a shapeshifter might have.
>Pinkie breaks through the door with blurring speed.
>She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Swiss.
>A quick gasp, and she’s off again.
>Swiss looks at the door, and back to you.
>”It seems I used up all my time, see you around.”
>She transforms into the blue unicorn from earlier and heads out.
>Thankfully, only one hand is tied to the headboard, so you untie it.
>To the best of your extent.
>Before you can finish, Pinkie comes back, with a panting Twilight in tow.
>”Georgie!  You’re okay!”
>Pinkie comes up to hug you.
“Can we save the hugs after I’m out of these ropes?”
>The ropes are then in a purple glow, and are undone.
“Thanks, Twilight.”
>Pinkie proceeds to give you a bear hug.
>Twilight looks at you with extreme concern.
>”What happened?”
“Well, Pinkie came in, combusted, and turned into a bug.”
>”This is worse than I thought.”
“Damn right it’s worse.”
>Who can you trust at this point?
>”We’ve got to get you somewhere safe.”
“And where may that be?”
 
>You are in Canterlot.
>It was another pun.
>Anyway, you were put under the watch of the royal guard.
>You didn’t think the situation was this important.
>Swiss must be one bad case.
>Your suspicions were confirmed when you were told about her history.
>So you have a Changeling Queen stalking you.
>Fantastic.
>Well, the room you got was nice, and the food as well.
>For herbivores, at least.
8/?
 
>It’s been a few hours since you came to Canterlot.
>You aren’t allowed to leave the room.
>They told you it’s for the best.
>No reason to question authority.
>Now you’re just laying in bed.
>You didn’t get your nap that you wanted.
>So you’re going to bed early.
>You drift off to sleep.
 
>You are dreaming of the Coffee Shop.
>Jerry’s there.
>”You expect me to believe that?”
“No, I don’t.”
>”There’s no way your parents kicked you out.”
“That’s what I said.”
>”So where will you be staying now?”
“I don’t know, maybe your place?”
>”George, you can’t stay at my place.”
“Why not?  I’m there a lot anyway.”
>”There’s no room!”
“I’ll just sleep on the couch.”
 
>You wake up to the loud sound of the door unlocking.
>Must be a routine check.
>Who else would have the key?
>The door opens, and you see the familiar face of a guard.
“Hey there, anything interesting going on?”
>He shakes his head and closes the door.
>You lay your head back down.
>And then sit up in an istance.
>The door isn’t locked.
>What’s going on?
>It locks from the outside.
>So you can’t do it yourself.
>The paranoia sets in.
>Did Swissalis send some drones?
>This is not good.
>Quietly, you walk to the door.
>You peek your head out.
9/?
 
>Looking out, you see changelings.
>Nope, you’re just going to go back inside.
>You close the door as quietly as you can.
>Okay, calm down.
>The guards can solve this, right?
>Considering they couldn’t protect the room, you think not.
>What can you do?
>Hiding is your best option.
>You take a look around the room.
>Your only choices are under the bed, or the bathroom.
>Sneaking towards the bathroom, you hear bug noises from outside.
>They’re getting ready to come in, you guess.
>You get into the bathroom, and behind the door.
>The door outside creaks open.
>”And to think it would be difficult.”
>She’s here.
>You’re even more scared than before.
>There’s no one to save you this time.
>”What?  He isn’t in his bed.  Check the room.”
>A minute passes and one comes to the bathroom.
>It’s over, you’ve been had.
>It makes more noises, and Swissalis comes in.
>”Hello again, love.”
“Look, miss, I want nothing to do with you.”
>”Deep down, you know you don’t mean it.”
“I just want to go home, that’s it.”
>”I can be a close second.”
>Why is it so hard talking to these kinds people?
>And suddenly, a flash of light.
>The drones are on the ground.
>”Hold on, I’ll just be a moment.”
>You watch as she leaves the bathroom.
>And when she’s shot by 2 spells simultaneously
>Peering out, you see both Twilight and Celestia.
>Celestia looks over to you.
>”I thank you for leading Chrysalis here.”
“So what you’re telling me is that I was bait?”
>”Well, you can say that.”
>Almost raped.
>To catch a Bug woman.
>Your fists ball up.
>You grit your teeth.
“George is getting upset!”
>A black hole appears and you’re sucked in.
“Finally!”
 
>Landing on Jerry’s couch, you sigh.
>Even peaceful worlds can’t work out in your favor.
>Jerry walks in.
>”Where have you been?  How’d you get in here?”
“Black hole to Equestria.”
>”Whatever, wanna go to the coffee shop?”
“Sure.”
10/10