>It’s been a month since you landed your arse in Equestria, and life is getting better. You have finished your research with Twilight for the most part. You still refuse to show the human anatomy to her. That’s just too weird for your liking.
>Celestia approved the designs for your house, and she promised to keep it a secret from all your friends. After 3 weeks of work, it was finished. You gathered all your friends for the big unveiling. When they arrived at your block of land, there was a large circus tent around your house so nop0ny could see it yet.
>RD: ‘What are we waiting for Anon?’
‘We are still waiting for Derpy to finish work.’
>PP: ‘Aww…But I want to see it now.’
>TS: ‘Here she comes now.’
>Derpy comes fluttering in, almost knocking you over with a hug.
‘Well, it’s finally here. My house is ready to be lived in.’
>You give a massive pull of the tarp, and everyp0ny gasps.
>Your “house” is only 3 metres by 3 metres with 1 door and no windows.
> R: ‘Well darling, it certainly is…something?’
>You and Derpy can’t help but to giggle.
‘Come on, I’ll give you the grand tour.’
>You unlock the door and walk inside. It was a simple room, nothing flashy, with a concrete floor. What did surprise most was the set of stairs leading downwards.
>You walk downstairs into your living room. It had a fireplace and a couch with a coffee table in between. To the left was the kitchen and the right was your bedroom and bathroom.
>RD: ‘You built your house… underground?’
‘Eeeyup’
>AJ: ‘But whay suga?’
‘Cos I’m insane. That and I think it’s cool that I have an invisible house.’
>FS: ‘But don’t you need….sunlight, maybe?’
‘Well I figured that out.’
>You flick a few switches and the roof of your house starts to buzz.  Small windows opened up in the lounge room that looked like sky lights.
‘All the rooms are fitted with skylights that let in natural light, as well as an air circulation system so I don’t suffocate down here.’
>Derpy can’t hold back her laughter anymore. She falls to the ground, laughing her flank off. Pinkie Pie joins in on the laughter.
>TS: ‘Why are they laughing?’
‘Derpy helped me design the house. Pinkie Pie… She is just being Pinkie Pie.’
>You walk everyp0ny back outside and thank them for coming round.
>PP: ‘You know what we need now?’
A: A fluffy p0ny?
M: A shot gun?
>D: ‘Muffins?’
>PP:’ A PARTY!!!!’
‘Maybe another night Pinkie. Dash and I are going drinking tonight and then I have work in the morning.’
>Pinkie’s hair seems to deflate.
‘Pinkie, I promised Dash I would go drinking. Do you really want me to break a promise?’
>PP:’Oh no…I couldn’t do that. Maybe another day?’
‘Definitely. Dash, I’ll meet you at The Trough at 7?’
>RD: ‘Sweet bro.’
>You give her a bro hoof, and others a hug. You give Derpy a soft headbutt, a sign of affection between you two.
>You walk down into your new house to re arrange your cupboards. Rarity was kind enough to tailor some clothes for you in exchange for the statue. You asked her to make you extra sets of jeans and even asked for a hooded jumper. You are about to have a shower when you hear something close behind you.
>You spin to see Applejack.
‘Oh hey Applejack. You scared me there.’
>’Nah sugah cube. It’s just lil’ old me.’
>She starts to look nervous.
‘What can I do for you?’
>’Ah have been keepin an eye on yah fer the past month.’ She steps closer to you. ‘Ah like what ah see.’
‘Umm thanks?’
M:Dude…seriously, code red.
A:She’s just a p0ny. What could she do?
>’And Ah noticed y’all don’t have a special somep0ny’
‘Special…somep0ny? You mean like a… significant other?’
>’Call it whatever ya want. Ah just wanted tah tell ya something.’
>She steps even closer to you.
>’Ah like ya Anon. Ah like the way ya thinka me.’
M: CODE FUCKING RED!!!
‘Applejack, I think of you as a p0ny. Nothing more.’
>’Well Ah was hopin y’all would come quietly, but it ain’t fun unless y’all be bucking around.’
>She jumps at you, and you are too slow to react.
>You now lay under Applejack’s weight, trying to push her off.
‘Applejack, please don’t do this.’
>’That’s right, keep fightin it. Ya know Ah loves it.’
>She leans in and kisses you.
M:Dude, you’re kissing a horse!
>Not helping Mark
>You try to push her off, but her weight is immense.
‘All right. I give up. Do what you want, I don’t care. All I can say is sorry.’
>’Nah, it’s all okay sugah cube. I don’t need ya to fight me off.’
‘Not for that. For this.’
>You place your hand on her front right hoof and dig your thumb into the pressure point above the hoof. Applejack immediately cries out in pain, and jumps off. You keep your hand enclosed around her hoof, digging in more and more pain before you finally hear a crack.
>On Earth, you learnt from your neighbour all the pressure points on farm animals. You thought the guy was a zoophile, and it may have been true, but he did teach you this pressure point. Dislocates the hoof from the leg.
>Applejack screams in pain before passing out.
>She awoke in a soft bed, surrounded by her brother and yourself.
>’What happened? What did he tell ya?’
‘Calm down AJ, I told them what happened. You came to make sure I was alright, and you fell down the stairs. You must have dislocated your hoof.’
>She looks at you and then to the big red stallion, Big Macintosh.
>BM:’Eeeyup.’
‘So I ran you over here as fast as possible.’
>AJ:’ Thank ya kindly Anon. I…uh…I owe ya one.’
‘Big Mac, can I have a minute to talk to her before I go?’
>Big Mac gives you a nod, and leaves the room.
>’Why’d ya do it? Why’d ya lie to him like that?’
‘Simple. You are my friend. What happened back then, I know it won’t happen again.’
>You hold her left hoof and apply pressure to the same point.
‘Will it?’
>She winces at the pain, remembering what the right one felt like. You let go again.
>’Ah’m sorry Anon.’
‘Yeah. I’m going to go. But I’ll leave you with this. I may have been here for a month, doesn’t mean I won’t feel something different for a certain p0ny eventually. If all p0nies are going to be like you, I might not give anyp0ny that chance.’
>’Did…Did Ah have a chance?’
‘Surprisingly yes. You reminded me of my cousin. You reminded me of home.’
>’Do y’all think I can get that chance again?’
‘I can’t answer that Applejack. I just don’t know right now.’
>You stand up and leave.
‘Get better, okay.’
>You walk home, running your hands through your hair.
M:You should have killed her.
‘Oh get over it. She made a mistake.’
A:But…did you mean it? About falling in love with a p0ny?
‘I don’t know. I have no clue on how long I will live here. I might have a change of heart.’
A:Eww gross…
‘Not a word of this to Derpy or I lock you away.’
M: Riiiiiight…
>You look at Mark, and your left eye starts to twitch. He immediately topples over in pain.
‘Do I need to repeat myself?’
M: Why always me?
‘Why do you always deserve it? Plus I don’t hit girls. She will just be banned from touching the fluffy p0nies.’
A: Eeep…
>You start to run. You have to get to the bar to meet Rainbow Dash.
>You arrive to find Dash already knocking back a drink.
>’Dude, what fucking took you so long?’
‘You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.’
>You order a bottle of Applejack Daniels, and swiftly drink half of it immediately.
>’Dude, I’m your bro. What happened?’
‘Alright. Do you find me attractive?’
>She looks at you for a second.
>’Alright, ya caught me. I always wanted a hairless ape creature. Come back to my place and make mutant babies with me.’
‘Yeah fuck you too.’
>’Seriously, what’s gotten into you?’
‘Applejack tried to rape me when you guys left.’
>Dash burst out laughing.
> ‘No, really? What the hell is wrong?’
>You give her a deadpan stare.
>’Wait, you’re serious?
‘Yeah. I was almost raped.’
>’What happened?’
‘I dislocated her hoof, and she blacked out.’
>’Did you tell anyp0ny else?’
‘No…I don’t think others will believe me.’
>’What are you going to do?’
‘Well, I don’t know. I told her that I forgive her, but warned her not to do it again.’
>Dash gives you a worried look.
>’How did you dislocate her hoof?’
>You grab her hoof and apply pressure  until she yelps in pain.
‘Do that enough and the joint pops.’
>’Wow, remind me to not piss you off.’
‘Come on, let’s get wasted. I still reckon I can out drink you.’
>’Bring it monkey!’
>You spend the night going drink for drink with Rainbow Dash until you are sufficiently drunk enough to stumble home. Rainbow helps you walk to your home before shooting off.
>You get into the concrete foyer and realise you don’t trust yourself going down the stairs.
A:Pull the lever
M: Go on
>You pull the lever next to the stairs and the fun begins. The stairs flip down into a slide shape and you slide yourself down.
‘WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’
>You don’t care. You were having fun. You pick yourself up at the bottom and stumble off to bed for some sleep.