>"Anon! Are you home?"
>You are most assuredly Anon.
>But you aren't at home as of now.
>In fact, you were just returning to it when you heard someone calling for you,
 pretty loudly.
>That someone being her Smart-buttness, Twilight Sparkle, her voice probably alerting and scaring off any creature wandering around.
>Currently you are slowly approaching your tree house
>And once you are out of the bushes you can clearly see Twilight standing in front of the tree, head held high, probably hoping for you to come out.
>You have expected her to get back, but that was earlier than you thought. It seems you've underestimated her research curiosity.
>"Well, I've been calling for five minutes already, guess he isn't home after all."
>Twilight sighed and started pulling a square object out of her saddlebag. A box of some sorts.
>"I guess I should just leave the package here - hopefully nothing would eat it till he finds it."
>You considered just waiting for her to leave but...
>She is a persistent one. She'll come back to talk to you anyway. And you told her she can visit, so what is the point in hiding.
>Not that she is guaranteed to meet you next time as you don't really have a set schedule of your presence at home.
>That and the prospect of talking to someone without constant rhyming sounds incredibly appealing.
"Or you can give the package to me directly", - you say as you step through the bushes.
>Twilight turns around with a yelp and drops the box on the ground with a loud thud.
>"Holy Celestia, Anon! Don't scare me like that!"
>You approach Twilight, smiling and shrugging her scare off.
"I haven't thought that my voice sounds that scary, Twilight."
>"It's... That's not what I meant."
"And what did you mean?"
>She calms her breath and just smiles at you. "No, you are not going to catch me in this loop, Anon. I'm glad to see you. And I wanted to thank you for what you've done."
"You've already thanked me enough. Stop flattering me, I might get used to it."
 
–-------
 
>"Well it's never a bad thing to be on good terms with a sole representative of a whole other species, and a powerful mage." Twilight suddenly blushes after saying that. Cute. It looks like she did not quite think that through.
>A mage? Why would she say that?
"And still with the flattering. Anyway - standing out here is pleasant enough - but wouldn't you agree it's better to come inside?"
>You snicker internally at your horrible pun.
>"Y-yes, sure. So I'll wait here for you to drop me a rope same as last time?"
"I have another idea."
>Achievement unlocked - give a piggy back ride to a pony.
 
>You are now Twilight Sparkle
>And it feels weird.
>The realization of the fact that you are fully dependent on this weird creature under you.
>You are clutching onto his back, almost as a filly riding your brother.
>Strong thrusts with which he's pulling both of you up.
>His soft and smooth skin...
>That's a weird thought. You never considered starting the study of his biological traits with the skin quality.
>What's more important is how he has really strong hands.
>Further proof that he is a descendant of some kind of race of apes.
>And living on a tree... too fitting.
>In any way your ascent quickly ends with him dropping you on the couch and plopping onto an armchair next to it, panting slightly.
>You didn't even notice him getting you inside the house! How embarrassing!
"Oh, sorry I kinda lost myself in thought..."
>"Never mind, I do that all the time. It was a pleasure to carry you anyway - you aren't heavy after all."
>Hah! Take that Rainbow! Even an unknown creature from who-knows-where doesn't think you weigh too much!
"Yeah, well, thanks for inviting me - I just wanted to, well... Give you this little present and say hello."
>"And that's it?", - he smiles at you and looks inquisitively.
>He's smart, you can give him that.
"And I also wanted to continue our discussion from last time. Know a little more about you and your species.”
.
 
–------------
 
>"That's cool. I'm actually happy that you came to visit. And it's nice to talk to someone that is not constantly rhyming."
"Oh, I assume you mostly communicate with Zecora, then?"
>"Yep. Her hints were most valuable in regards to local wildlife and nature. She was also happy to spare some supplies in exchange for me hanging a mask higher in her hut. She even got me some tea... That reminds me - let me get you some tea."
>It's a letdown that it's not any kind of rare drink from his homeland - but Zecora has the best tea out there - so you can't complain.
"That sounds great. I actually have something to go with the tea!"
>You pull the box back from the saddlebag and put it on the table in front of you.
>Hope none of the cupcakes suffered from the impact.
>"So what's in this mystery box, Twilight?"
"You can open it - I hope you like it. But please don't be offended in case you don't like it or can't eat it - as I'm not aware of your species' dietary preferences. From what you've mentioned earlier you can eat pretty much everything we can - and pastries were one of the items you've mentioned. So this in our culture is a gesture of thanks, that is not binding you to any responsibility to answer it, and does not hold any other meanings... Just so that you won't get the wrong impression.”
>You blurt it all in one long sentence. Good thing you've rehearsed it on the way here.
>Anon stares at you with a smile and an eyebrow cocked for a second and then pulls the rope to open the box.
 
>In the next couple seconds... your world seems to break apart.
>You hear a scream.
>The joyful scream that horrified the guts out of you.
>The absolute worst thing that could happen.
>In hindsight you could have predicted this outcome of events.
>Not sure if you could have prevented it though. In any case your eardrums are currently bombarded with a loud
>”SURPRISE!!!”
>Confetti is flying all over the room, streamers getting over the branches.
>Pinkie Pie. The one and only.
 
 
 
-------
 
 
 
>”Oh my gosh I'm just in time for a TEA PARTY! And I brought cupcakes! Well that's actually Twilight who brought cupcakes but I was the one who baked them so please, please try one, or two, or you can try every one of them if you like them. Which I'm sure you would because I spent soooo much time baking them and it would be pretty sad to-"
“PINKIE PIE!”
>”Oh, Twilight, also don't drop the presents - that's a really bad idea as I was in there and-“
 
”PINKIE!”
>"... and my name is Pinkie Pie and I'm so excited to meet a new friend, well you are actually Twilight's friend but this will not stop us from being..."
 
 
>You are prepared to this. You have always considered this was going to happen. The only encounter you planned ahead. You hoped that it would have happened later rather than sooner. But meeting Twilight seemed to hasten the process.
>The acting classes you've taken as a kid were not for this purpose, but they can still help.
>You can do this, Anon. You. Can. Do. This.
>You are the one. Unstoppable force of nature.
>Now is your time to shine.
 
”Heeeeya there, Pinkie Pie! My name is actually Anon. Nice to meet you and all. Just a short heads-up, I've come from far away land, got here by accident, currently live here in the Everfree. I'll definitely try a cupcake, and yes I was surprised, yes we can be friends, but there are a couple things I want to mention first...Friends don't sneak into friend's houses whatever the reasons. I can forgive you, but you have to promise me never to do that again and never come uninvited in my house, because that's not what friends do. Do we have a deal?
>”Okie-dokie-lokie! Want a cupcake?”
”I'm on it.”
>You munch on a cupcake and turn your gaze to Twilight.
“So you did tell your friends about my existence after all?”
 
>You are Twilight and your brain is in a state of complete shock.
>Did he just... Out-Pinkie Pinkie Pie?
>How-?
>What-?
>Now there's two of them!
 
 
–---
 
 
 
>With an audible enjoyment Anon takes a bite, chews it down and meets your eyes.
>“So you did tell your friends about my existence after all?”
>Your heart drops. Sweat instantly begins to form and it suddenly is too hot here.
"N... No, I didn't!"
>"You didn't?"
>"Yep! She didn't tell me, but she was so secretive about it and I just HAD to investigate. And so I hid in the box to see who's that secret pony friend of hers, but it was not a pony and actually I was surprised about it. And, ooooh, you are gooood. I was trying to surprise you and it was actually you who out-surprised me, and-"
“THAT'S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM, PINKIE PIE! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET! I PROMISED ANON NOPONY WILL KNOW ABOUT HIS EXISTENCE BUT ME!”
>"Oooooh. But you didn't actually tell me! So you did not actually break a promise. And it wasn't a pinkie promise too, or else I'd know about it!"
"You don't understand! It's still my fault! I betrayed a trust of a new friend and now... now-”
 
>"Hey, can I get into it for a second?”
>Your rant is immediately halted by realization that Anon is actually in the room.
>He's munching on another cupcake, not frowning any more. Probably the cupcakes made him feel better about it. Maybe you can earn his trust again and he won't kick you out!
>"It seems to me, Pinkie Pie, that you owe Twilight a big apology."
>”Oh I'm SOOOO...”
>”STOP!”
>Anon points his finger at her, his shout disrupting her apology in midair.
>”Stop. You will apologize later. It's between you and her, don't drag me into it. I already forgave you about it – but now in relation to me - I'm going to take YOUR word too, that YOU will not tell anyone about me.”
>”Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”
>Pinkie did all the gestures, probably considering following it up with a secret digging procedure, but thought better of it and just waited for the response.
>”Good enough. Now about you Twilight.”
 
–---
 
 
>Good thing you never had any health issues - or you fear you might be having a cardiac arrest right now.
>”Given this new information - I'm not mad at you, you did nothing wrong, after all.”
>”BUT!”, he points his finger at you, “you both have to proceed with caution from now on.”
>The tension in the room seemed to physically evaporate as relief washes over you.
“Oh Anon, I PROMISE nothing like that will happen again!”
>Anon reaches for another cupcake in the box and simply answers:
>”I trust you. Want a cupcake?”
>You are once again in full control of your emotions. Sharing food is universally a gesture of trust and you take it as that.
“Thank you very much anon! I'd love one!”
>”Now I'm going to make us some tea. You both can talk about your situation now. And Pinkie?”
>”Yes, Nonny?”
>”Get off the table, will you?”
 
 
 
Part 2
 
 
 
>You will never guess who you are right now!
>But do you even need to guess? You are you, after all, and you should know who you are.
>Unless you are not you, which is a rare enough occasion to consider ignoring the possibility.
>As such you can safely declare that you are legitimately and undoubtedly - You.
>Your geographical coordinates are 53.910254,27.494498 which is assigned to "Anon's Tree House" on your inner map.
>You have no idea what the numbers mean, but for some reason it's pretty easy to navigate using them.
>All your senses are GO, which is a very fun game by the way. Does Anon like "go"? Or he's more of a hide-and-seek guy?
>Humans don't seem to have tails - so a concept of "pin the tail on the pony" should be foreign to them.
>Not stopping you from introducing this concept certainly. Cause what party is without that game? A boring one that is.
>Aw come on, Twilight this was a perfectly reasonable and interesting question, a lot more so than the current geopolitical situation of the Human countries conglomerate.
>Wait! Conglo-mare-ate! Do they eat mares? Why don't they eat stallions? Isn't it a bit sexist?
>Silly Twilight, discrimination is way more interesting then the fact that a carnivore eats meat! DUH, he eats meat.
>It's not like he's going to hunt and eat an innocent creature.
>Right?
>Left?
>Aw, way to spoil the mood with your principles towards eating intelligent creatures, anon.
>You were just about to get afraid and run in horror while Anon would try to grab you with his strong hands as a defenseless prey and crush your...
>Gosh there are SO MANY INTERESTING THINGS in this house! Light sources are shaped like pears for some reason.
>Does Anon like pears?
>Or apples for the matter?
>SWEET! You can't WAIT for him to meet Applejack.
>Oh, right, a secret. You totally did NOT forget about that. Nuh-uh.
>They are talking about Equestria now. Well you already know what all that stuff do can as well look around for a while.
>Whoa! An oven! Do humans bake? Well of course they bake, there is an oven! Maybe Anon will agree to teach you some of his human recipes! That would be sweeeet. Especially if they are recipes for sweets!
>Wow! What's that thing do?
>It even has Rainbow Dash cutie-mark on it! Kind of.
>Silly anon, I'm not taking it anywhere, I just want to have a look!
>A shocker? Is it some kind of surprise-device? NEAT! How does one "shock" with it? I like good surprises!
>Maybe if I... Woooh that KRTTTTTTTTTTT sound is pretty spooky isn't it?
>Jeesh, no need to scream that loud. Ol' Pinkie can hear things just fine!
>She is not her grandma after all. By the way do humans even have grandmothers?
>Anon?
>A-anon?
 
>Ow. Ow. Ow.
>At least Pinkie did not have the nerve of the police force to hold the trigger for a minute.
>Ow.
>You clench your chest, your muscles seized and hurting.
>Ow.
>Oh, you are not THAT surprised. It's Pinkie Pie after all. And it's not the first time you were tazed, so the effect is not that... shocking.
>Fuck you, Carlos.
>In fact, the day your father gave you the tazer he demanded that you have to try the effects on yourself in order to ever use it on someone.
>Some might claim it as child abuse - but you were always proud of that experience. And after that you never had a thought to use it for "fun".
>But still. Ow.
>The room is silent as you gaze upon Pinkie pie.
>Her mane is deflating under your gaze with every second, the look of utter horror on her face.
>It doesn't compare to the absolute dread on Twilight's face though.
>She's completely pale. Hope she won't get any grey hairs from the ordeal.
"Pinkie Pie...", - you pronounce with your teeth clenched.
>Tazer drops from her mane's grasp. How the fuck did she even... oh yeah, right, she's Pinkie.
>Never mind.
"You will NEVER. EVER. Touch. Any of my belongings. Without asking."
>Her eyes start to water as she starts to nod. She's about to flood your house with tears isn't she...
>You detach the electrodes (ow) and slowly crawl right next to Pinkie Pie, never breaking the eye contact.
>With a dead expression on your face you move to her ear and whisper loudly enough for Twilight to hear.
"I am going to tickle you to oblivion. And then when you beg for mercy I'm going to tickle you even harder."
>All bets are off.
>Your inner brony squees in delight as you explore Pinkie's hide with your nasty appendages.
>You are fully aware that it probably looks like >rape from the side.
>Your inner horsefucker silently nods in approval.
>Your inner normal person clenches his chest and breathes heavily. Still very much sore after the shock he does not approve of you not beating Pinkie on her stupid random head with a retractable baton, or at least tazing her back. He'll get around. And he'll have his revenge some time later.
>"A..Ahah a-a-Ahhha-ANON! Ahh Please stop I'm going to..."
>ABORT! ABORT! NO PEEING ON THE CARPET IN MY HOUSE!
 
 
>You are reasonably quickly moving towards Ponyville.
>You are also Twilight.
>And you don't even want to talk to Pinkie.
>You have to nod to her another “I'm sorry” rant though, or she would never shut up.
>The visit to Anon had to be cut pretty short due to Pinkie's shenanigans.
>The interview was a mess, normal informative questions interwoven with scientifically useless information.
>Though you can't deny that some of the questions Pinkie asked were interesting indeed, and you would never thought to ask them yourself.
>And it turned serious business into casual talk... which might not be such a bad thing in hindsight.
>Until Pinkie shot him that is.
>Unexpected, even for Pinkie.
>But that was forgiven pretty quickly, possibly by everyone aside you.
>The event has significant research value.
>The "tazer" device works not unlike the arc projectors used by some of the pagasi guardsponies.
>A completely different species as it stands has the ability to harness lightning like the pegasi do.
>Though according to him it has nothing to do with weather manipulation abilities.
>Not unbelievable - as he already mentioned that they have no control over their weather.
>Which sounds grim. They have rainstorms, tornadoes, blizzards - and absolutely no way to control them.
>Growing crops should be like going to a casino - if the weather is good, everything is fine, but if there's no rain for a long time there is no way to cause it and your crops will die.
>And yet they manage to survive.
>Anon was very elusive about the exact number of humans there are.
>It is probable that there are very little humans left.
>No need to press the issue then – it might be a very sore topic.
>Possible reasons: starvation, low birth rates, wars.
>Not unlike griffons, who have the same issues, and also never tell how many of them there are.
>Militaristic race – another reason not to disclose the information is to consider it valuable for a potential enemy.
>That means that you really have to read about their behavior. The similarities between these species might not end there.
>In any way he's closer to griffins, being an omnivore.
>Anon is very cautious though. As he told you, that's the main reason why he's not yet planning to contact Equestria's officials. Willing to first observe and confirm that ponies don't pose any threat to him.
>Well, thanks to Pinkie, this period might extend for some time.
>He said that he forgave her though... You really need to help him be at ease and meet the princesses one day.
>You doubt you can keep him a secret forever.
>First steps were made. He asked you a lot of questions about Equestria.
>Strangely enough he asked a lot about you and your friends.
>You were happy to share some adventures with Pinkie's insight providing an entertaining point of view.
>One might think his questions were a little too specific. Like he knew what to ask.
>Look at you, his paranoia getting to you already.
>He's just very clever. Being a pretty powerful mage after all.
>It cost you all your will power not to start talking about magic with him.
>So many questions, and only one shot to not be seen as a profane (having no magic at all right now can give him such an idea).
>It has to wait. Observation and hypothesizing are your only tools.
>They don't answer a lot of questions though. How was he able to connect his home devices to the ley-lines? It doesn't look like things in his home have self sufficient enchantment power sources, so there has to be a strong ley-line close to the ground in the Everfree.
>You know for a fact that there should be one on the place where the castle is built.
>After all almost every city or castle ever built in Equestria is standing on top or in the vicinity of a ley-line for obvious reasons. Even Cloudsdale is hovering over a particularly strong one. The factories take a lot of power after all.
>And still - what are the odds of him getting his house directly on top of it? If it was so close to the surface - it surely would have been noticed by now and something would have been built there. At least ruins of some sort.
>That is weird and needs research.
>And even then how was able to protect the enchantments from the effects of the Everfree?
>Curious thing - the forest slowly dissolves all regular magical enchantments, that also includes weather magic.
>The constructs able to live there are all chaotic, like timberwolves...
>Wait. Chaotic.
>Chaos magic. That should be it! Powerful, advanced and not in any way affected by the Everfree, where even simplest constructs fall apart within hours.
>It's as good time as any to write a letter to one particular pony. Well, not to a "pony" really.
>Now you need to not be spotted by Rainbow leaving the Everfree.
>You also double-check all possible options for Pinkie to slip up and tell the secret to anyone.
 
 
Dear-
>No, that's not good at all. He's not very dear to you.
>You take a new scroll and start simply.
Discord,
It's been quite a while since we've met in person.
>Pretty neutral start, just stating the facts. Humm... Now try to be civil.
How have you been? I'm doing fine myself, considering the circumstances.
>Yeah, you actually ARE doing a lot better than before - with all new exciting stuff that's going on.
I actually wanted to ask you a couple of questions in regards to the research I'm doing at the moment.
>Celestia probably has not told Discord that you are forbidden to do anything fun while you are recovering so it's safe to ask him.
Have you ever heard of a race, that's basing their magic technology around chaos magic? The name of the race is Humans. If you have any insight on it - I would very much like to hear about that.
>Good, good. On point and not disclosing anything specific. Moreover he should be old enough to actually know something about them.
Thanks in advance
>Titles - too prudent. Yours truly? Nah, that's just untrue. You don't really trust him that much to include anything so personal. Just the name will have to do.
Twilight Sparkle
 
>There. Done.
>You are actually genuinely interested in how Discord is adjusting to "normal" life.
>Need to ask Fluttershy about where to actually send the letter though.
>You know for a fact that she has sent him letters (and even received answers!)
>She would also be very excited to know that you are "warming up" to him.
>Wait, you really are warming up to him!
>Writing letters, asking questions!
>This is so weird.