For your listening pleasure, Baratone has provided this: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0N3vTdlfHsD
 
>Day Advice in Equestria
>You are Anon
>Wake up and reach to your nightstand, grabbing the object that sits on it
>The only thing brought with you to this magic technicolor world
>The Magic Conch
>You pull the string and ask it a question
"Magic Conch, should I do my morning routine today?"
>"...yes."
>You do a it says and commence the morning routine
>Shit, shower, and shave then go to your closet to pick your outfit
"Magic Conch, should I wear my black suit today?"
>You pull the string and wait
>"...no."
>You pull the string again
"What about my white suit?"
>"...no."
>After three more outfits, you start to get frustrated
"Should I wear any clothes today?!"
>...
>"No."
>Well, the Magic Conch doesn't want you to wear clothes
>It's probably for the best
>You go downstairs and consult with the Conch about breakfast
"Magic Conch, what should I have for breakfast?"
>"...nothing."
>Damn, you were hungry too
>There's a knock on your door
>You open it and Fluttershy's eyes widen when she notices your lack of clothes
"What is it today, Fluttershy?"
>Your voice draws her attention upwards, but it drifts back down
>"Is g-group sex your fetish?"
>As she says this, you notice the rest of the mane six behind her
"I dunno, hold on."
>You pull the string on the Magic Conch
>"...no."
>You look to Fluttershy and shrug
"Magic Conch, should I have group sex anyways?"
>You pull the string and everybody leans in, listening closely
>"...yes."
>Everybody cheers and Fluttershy darts up to pull the string again
>"A-am I allowed to join?"
>You all go silent
>"...maybe someday."
>Fluttershy smiles and pulls the string again
>"What about today?"
>Another moment of silence
>"...no."
"Sorry Flutters, but the Conch has spoken."
>Everybody files inside as she flies away, cursing the Magic Conch
>And that's the tale of how the Magic Conch saved you from
>Fucking Fluttershy