>Day Drunk in Equestria
>You are Anon
>You sit in the only bar in Ponyville, The Cider Barrel
>Named so because the only alcohol in this world was cider
>Well, except for the bottle of Everclear that was brought here with you
>You gave it to the only pony you trusted to take care of it, your best friend in this magical world
>The bartender, Berry Punch
>All the ponies in this world were lightweight drinkers, but not Berry
>Anyways, back to the story
>Berry leans against the bar as she talks to you
>"I don't see why you won't give her a chance, she's a great mare."
>You belch and set down your mug of cider
"Actually, I did give her a chance. Worst relationship ever. She was clingy, obsessive, and crazy as all Hell."
>You finish your cider and set the mug upside down on the bar
"And she couldn't drink to save her life."
>Berry grabs the mug and smirks
>"I wouldn't be so sure, Anon."
>You narrow your eyes at her
"Berry, what did you d—"
>You're interrupted when someone taps on your shoulder
>You turn around and come face to face with Fluttershy
>"Anon, I c-came to outdrink you. I-if that's okay with you."
>You, along with all the ponies in the bar, burst into hardy laughter
>You stop laughing and stand, towering over Fluttershy
"Outdrink me? Flutters, nobody can outdrink me!"
"I partied with the craziest of fratboys! I drank with the hardiest of Russians! The Irish think I need to slow down!"
>You stop boasting and crouch down to eye level with Fluttershy
"What makes you think you can hold your own against me?"
>"W-well, I was t-trained by Berry Punch."
>Your eyes narrow and you slowly turn around, staring daggers at Berry
"You traitorous bitch."
>She shrugs
>"I thought it might be fun to watch. Besides, the only way to your heart is with booze."
>You snap your fingers and three stallions drag a table and two chairs in front of the bar
>You sit in one of the chairs and the yellow mare sits across from you
"Alright Flutters, I accept your challenge. What are the stakes."
>She mumbles something unintelligible and Berry speaks up
>"If you win, she promises to leave you alone forever and you'll get free drinks for a year. If she wins, you'll have to rut her whenever she wants and I get that special booze you brought with you."
>Mugs of cider are set in front of you and Fluttershy
>Berry rings a small bell and the game begins
 
-Many hours later-
>Countless empty mugs cover the table and are strewn across the floor
>The entire town has crowded into the bar, eager to witness the legendary showdown
>Both you and Fluttershy have consumed enough alcohol to kill a lesser man
>Your thought process is FUBAR
>Both of you finish your mugs and drop them on the floor
>Fluttershy sways in her seat as she mumbles something
>It's slurred beyond understanding, but your drunk mind somehow deciphers it
>"I'm done."
>She face-plants into the table, sending the empty mugs to the floor
>You stand, knocking your chair back, and raise your fists into the air
"Yesh! Ah nevuh loosh!"
>The crowd of ponies cheers and applauds at your victory
>Your celebration is cut short as you start to black out
 
>You are awoken by thundering, rhythmic pain assaulting your head
>Ok Anon, you're in a bed, you're hungover, and you drank enough to kill a man
>This pain is unbearable, what the fuck is it?
>You groan when you realize that your own heartbeat is painful to listen to
>"Look who's finally awake. Starting to regret drinking that much?"
>The sound of her voice sends more waves of pain through your head
>You groan in response and she chuckles
>"Alright, do it Twilight."
>The sound of magic is heard and a wave of relief washes over you
"Oh god that feels SO much better!"
>Twilight giggles
>"A sobering spell can come in handy when dealing with a drunk like you, Anon."
>She teleports away, leaving you alone with Berry
>You open your eyes and look at her
>"Anon, I've never seen anybody drink that much. I think you deserve a prize."
>She gives you the bedroom eyes and crawls onto the bed with you
>And that's the story of how drinking lethal amounts of alcohol ended up with you
>Fucking Berry Punch
 
End