FUTA CONTENT. Well, implied Futa. No sex.
 
Written after seeing an idea that was way too good to pass up.
 
>"Anonymous, it is good to see you. I'm sure you're wondering why I brought you here?"
>"Uh, yeah, just a tiny bit. Your guard did, y'know, sort of interrupt me and Twilight's first date."
>You weren't really that angry
>It was going fucking horribly anyway
>Twilight had been so nervous she could barely talk. She was actually visibly sweating
>She seemed fine when you asked her out a week ago
>But the minute you picked her up from the Castle, things went south fast
>You were honestly relieved that Celestia needed you
>Maybe some magical monster was invading and it needed a bitch-slap
>You always enjoyed their expression when they saw you standing, unharmed, in whatever crater their magic left behind
>"I- Well, it is rather related to your date, actually."
>You raise an eyebrow
>Maybe Celestia didn't like the whole inter-species thing
>"You see- Alicorns are, uh-"
>She scratches one of her legs with a hoof
>Jeez
>She actually looked nervous
>"Guards. Leave this place."
>Both of the pegasi at her sides salute and quickly march to the door
>You hear it slam behind you
>Now you were the nervous one
>You... Actually hadn't been alone with her before
>There was always a guard, at the very least. Most of the time Twilight was there too
>"You see, uh- The fact that you are dating Twilight has given her a rather... Impossible dilemma."
>You resist the urge to scream at her to spit it out
>"She, uh, was planning on informing you, but I do believe that it became quite impossible for her to actually confront the issue. As I am, er, quite sympathetic to her plight, having experienced it myself several times, I have decided to intervene."
>Well
>That told you fucking nothing
>You nod, expecting her to go on
>She takes a deep breath
>"You see... Alicorns are physically different from normal ponies."
>...She's not talking about the horn-wing thing
>This is something new
>"...I'm listening."
>"We, ah, have certain... Features altered by the transformation."
>"Features?"
>"Yes. We poses the characteristics of all of our subjects, a physical embodiment of harmony. But, this-"
>Celestia takes a moment to compose herself
>"This applies to all aspects. Including ones that make us, well, physically repulsive to most ponies."
>You arch an eyebrow
>"I'm listening"
>"You see... We poses both male and female sexual characteristics."
>The room is dead silent
>"If you no longer wish to go through with the rest of your date, Twilight will understand."
>Wait, Celestia expected her student to put out on the first date?
>Hell fucking yeah!
>"Why- Why are you grinning?"
>Oh
>Right
>You try to kill the smile
>"I- Princess. I think a visual aide might be in order. Any way we could teleport to Twilight's place for a moment?"
>You're momentarily blinded by a flash of light
>You blink a few times
>"Hm. Her bedroom. Rather suggestive, don't you think?"
>Celestia blushes, ever so slightly
>"Now..."
>You exit the room, take a left, walk past Spike's room, and then turn right into your bedroom
>You quickly retrieve your laptop
>"Now, Princess. You remember how you're a cartoon in my world, right?"
>"Yes."
>"I believe that me, you, and the other Alicorns spent some time viewing all the images and videos I had on your world, correct?"
>"Yes."
>They'd taken it surprisingly well, in fact.
>It must have been like a trip down memory lane
>They'd demanded to see every image you had
>"Anonymous, I don't remember any images that relate to the current situation."
>"I didn't show you everything."
>"But you said-"
>"I lied."
>You open up truecrypt, navigate to the file NOTHING_TO_SEE_HERE (in the /users/anon/documents/old/older/ancient/boring/stupid/worthless/not\ suspicious\ at \all/ directory), and open it up
>You quickly type the password ("Iblame4chanforthisshit,seriously,whatthefuckamIdoing")
>Soon you're greeted with a very familiar folder
>"What is this?"
>"Uh... Sexually stimulating material."
>"Anonymous."
>Her voice is so forceful you turn to face her
>"I know what pornography is."
>"I'm trying to use more- Y'know, eloquent vocabulary, here. You are a Princess."
>"Yes. I'm 2000 years old. Do you seriously think I am a stranger to porn?"
>You give her a look
>Nah
>Actually, at this point, she was probably into some fucked-up shit
>Maybe not as bad as your one folder marked "Hardcore Femdom" or the other one named "I don't even know why I the fuck I fapped to this shit", but probably pretty bad
>"No. You probably aren't. But, uh-"
>You quickly click the "Pone" folder
>There it was
>All five gigs
>Neatly organized by pic type, than participants
>"I, uh- There's stuff of you in this. I'm just going to really hope you're not going to moonshot me for that."
>Celestia just arches an eyebrow and parts her mouth into a half-smile in response
>Holy SHIT
>If only you weren't dating Twilight
>Then again, she did seem to stare at Celestia an awful lot when they were together
>Maybe she wouldn't be opposed to-
>You shake your head, banishing the thought
>This was business time
>You click on the futa folder
>Thumbnails fill the list
>"Oh."
>You turn to Celestia
>Her cheeks are just barely a shade of rose
>"Oh. My. That is... That is quite a lot of-"
>"Yeah. It's... It's a thing back where I come from."
>Celestia's eyes are the size of dinner plates
>"You humans are a strange bunch."
>"You can say that again."
>She didn't know the half of it
>Your futa folder was a lot tamer than the oviposition one
>"Is- Is that one of me and my sister, uh, double-teaming Twilight?"
>"There's a whole comic about that actually."
>"Oh."
>Celestia ruffles her wings slightly
>"I- I may need that. For, uh studying reasons."
>You give her a fake glare
>"I'm dating her, you know."
>"Oh, come on, Anonymous. I've known her for years. And I know a thing or two about the male sex."
>She moves her hips suggestively
>Almost like a thrust
>"She'd agree to it, and you'd jump at the chance."
>Your mouth is very dry
>"Uh... Yeah. Yeah. I can get you a copy of that."
>"Good. Now, hide the evidence again, please."
>You dismount the volume
>In a flash, you're back in Canterlot
>"So. You'll be okay with it, then?"
>"Honestly, Princess, Twilight is amazing no matter what physical characteristics she has. But, uh, Twilight with a pussy and a dick?"
>You hold your hands up
>"Fucking perfect."
>She smiles at you
>"Good. Because I imagine you're going to learn just how virile Alicorns are later tonight."
>Was she implying-
>You shake your head again
>"Okay. Yes. Can I get back to my date now?"
>Celestia nods, still holding that slightly evil grin
>You hear one last thing before the door closes
>"Tell me how it goes, Anonymous! Tell me it in extreme detail."