>"Hey you! You want to eat this?"
>Gilda presented you with a black greasy mess in a pan
"No."
>Gilda scoffed and tossed it into the trash
>"It's there if you want it."
"I won't."
>"Dick."
>Its good to see she learned a new insult
>You were actually cooking breakfast before she barged in
>"Don't say i haven't done anything." Was what she had said
>And by the looks of it she didn't do much either, besides burn a hole in through metal
>Gilda turned her back to you and tossed the pan onto the stove
>Before you could scold her for mistreating your cookware, Twilight stepped out of the bathroom
>"Hmm, morning all."
>"Outta my way."
>Gilda shoves Twilight aside and slams the door behind her
>"Geez, what's her problem?"
"Uh. When you gotta go, you gotta go?"
>Sitting at the table with an empty plate gives Twilight the impression you need to be fed
>"Ooh, don't get up Anon. I'll cook breakfast!"
"You sure? Remember what happened last time."
>"It's fine...hehe. I just needed to get used to your kitchen is all. Who do you think cooked dinner last night?"
"You guys had dinner?"
>She gives you a cute smile
>"Mm-hmm."
"Oh, good then. Cook away, i guess."
>You hear some muttering coming from the bathroom followed by a bang
>Twilight looks at you
>Shrugging you turn your attention to the TV
>The whole time Gilda was uh, 'cooking', you were trying to decide whether or not to flick it on and get an update on the flood
>Those fat retards had it coming though
>Right?
>Why were you feeling bad?
>Your guilty conscious finally gets the best of you
>"This is Channel 8 news. With Angelina Jolie, Mark Hamill, and sports with Bruce Wayne."
>"Welcome back, our coverage continues on the flood waters now slowly retreating from our area."
>"That's right Angelina, and at the top of our list is the bizarre turn of events that led to several obese young men having to be rescued from the bridge outside..."
>"Here you are anon!"
>Twilight drops a perfectly poached egg with a side of toast and some bacon in front of you
"But, how...?"
>"It was easy. All i did was follow the recipe and keep the flame low, to keep from burning it of course."
>Several two syllable words followed some repetitive bangs from the bathroom
>"I wonder what that's about."
>You pay her no mind as you chow down
>"...with the report. Rick?"
>"Yes Angelina, i interviewed several of the young men yesterday, some of the young men that managed to escape the deluge rather, and got some pretty mixed answers as to what conspired."
>You turn your attention back to the TV that now showed previously recorded footage of the flood followed by a voice over
>"It started as a perfect day, maybe a few clouds but nothing to worry about..."
>The scene switched from a picnic to an overflowing river bank
>"...until late afternoon that is."
>The shot changed to one of the spergs
>The Goddamn idiot was wearing a muddy fedora
>The interview began with him tipping his hat and thanking Rick for being interviewed
>"Simply put we were on the trail of a fugitive when the dastardly villain outfoxed us."
>"Uh, i'm sorry. Who tricked you?"
>"I'm afraid i cannot divulge that information to you, or the police for that matter.."
>This faggot actually thought he was being smart about it
>But then, they did figure out where you live
>"...all i can say is "Bravo sir" you got us with the old cell phone switcharoo."
>You frown
>"The what? Uh, nevermind. Can you tell us what your friends were doing on the bridge? Why didn't they get away while they could?"
>He chuckled
>Like haughtily
>"I wouldn't expect your simple plebeian mind to understand our motivation or intentions. Safe to say my comrades were intent on staying down there as long as they needed to, in order to find the source of that signal."
>Rick, who was off camera, was audibly frustrated
>"Why?"
>Again he chuckled
>"Why do bees fetch nectar? Why do trolls hurt feelings on 4chan? Why do bears (beep) in the woods? A higher sense of purpose drives our instincts so as to expand our euphoria into the stars and beyond to the other multiverses and become more than simple monkey men. Our satyr children would carry on the vast knowledge of humanity with the superior genetics of pony kind."
>The camera shook a bit and you swore you heard the camera man laughing softly
>"...okay thanks."
>The faggot tipped his hat again and thanked him for the chance to be on television before another shorter four eyed sperg stepped in to take his place
>Behind him a neat and orderly line appeared to have formed
>The camera cut back to Rick shaking his head
>"From what i could gather after talking with police was that they were searching for a cell phone they said they had been tracking all the way from Anonsville. Somehow, and we still don't know how, that cell phone managed to find its way under the bridge and all the...people, following it stopped to search for it. Now police aren't sure whether they should press charges or not, that would depend on the owner of the cell phone, for stalking or perhaps other premeditated actions. What we do know is that right before the flood waters hit the majority of them managed to climb up the embankment to avoid being washed away. A few though have gone missing and dispatchers are already looking downriver for any signs of survivors."
>Rick didn't want to look at the camera when he said that, but he did perk up after reading his transcript
>"Now because of the scale of this flood they said they aren't holding out much hope for survivors and said it might just be a recovery mission at this point. Live from the scene, this is Rick Astley reporting."
>The shot went back to the studio where Angelina seemed to be suppressing her laughter
>Mark took over
>"Rick while we still have you? I couldn't help but notice there were a few others, um, in line i suppose? What did they have to say?
>Rick was shown grudgingly putting his earpiece back in
>"After a while all i could understand anymore was that they were looking for their Y-foos."
>"Anything else interesting?"
>Rick shook his head
>"That's about it. They just kept repeating how plebeian i was for asking so many questions."
>Mark now seemed to be restraining himself
>"Well...thank you Rick. We appreciate all your hard work, and the many many hours of field work you put in and I'll be sure to talk to the station manager about giving you a promotion and a raise for your all your hard work."
>Rick scowled slightly and nodded his head repeatedly
>Mark covered his mouth for an instant before quipping
>"We'll be back after this."
 
>"Were back!"
>Rarity announced herself as she and Fluttershy entered the room
>"Oof, those stairs are a nightmare, and you say you climb them every day Anonymous?"
"Yes."
>"My such robust exercise, of course it's probably worse when you're loaded to the brim with inspiration?!"
>Rarity exhibited all the paper bags wrapped around her arms
>Fluttershy just quietly unloaded the silk with a quiet smile
>"Oh, I can't wait to try on whatever dress you dream up Rarity."
>"I assure you Fluttershy they'll be marvelous. Now what constitutes as magical in your world anonymous?"
>You pause your chewing for a second
"Uhh, pretty much all the feely, froo froo crap you deal with on a daily basis."
>"I see. Could you tell me then, how much of this, um, froo froo crap, is acceptable in your world? I don't want to overstep my boundaries seeing as how, well no offense darling, but you don't seem to have magic in your realm."
"Ouch, pull that icy dagger out of my heart will ya?"
>"Rarity how could you?"
>Rarity was about to go on an apologetic rant before you stopped her
"Hey, hold on. I was joking. Listen in my 'realm' we have what we call witches and wizards. I think they made a few movies about them back in the day, then there's Harry Pothead. You could probably watch all of them over the internet."
>Pointing at the console you take a sip of your coffee
>Which magically appeared there out of nowhere
>You stare at it astounded
>"Is the coffee okay anon? Did i add the right amount of sugar?"
>It was black
>"Cream please."
>Twilight diligently obeyed
"We can watch some movies after school together. It'll be fun."
>"I could think of something else that would be more fun."
>Rainbow Dash came lumbering out of the bedroom
>She didn't look all too happy to see you
"Uh, hey. Sleepy head?"
>Rainbow sneered slightly in your direction before yanking the control out of your hand and plopping down on your unmade sofa-bed
>The room suddenly got quiet as she flicked through the channels
>You made the excuse to look at your watch
"Hey, look what time it is, we better get going. School awaits, r-right Twilight?"
>"I'm not going."
>Everyone looked at Rainbow concernedly
>This time it was Rarity who stopped you from speaking
>"Anon, would it be terribly inconvenient for us to miss a day at your school? Two even?"
>Asking why, Rarity explained that she needed time to study your definition of 'magic' and even get used to the new measurements required for humans
>"And on top of that i just need time to work dear."
>You take the time to process all this new information in your head
>Another sip of deliciously creamy coffee helps make up your mind
"Alright then, i guess since you aren't technically enrolled in my school, it would be fine for you to miss a day or two. Hell they might not even know your absent."
>The girls lit up with anticipation
>Except Rainbow, she just stared at Mr.Rogers
"But you have to promise me one thing. None of you leave this apartment, not even to get the mail. Make sure to lock the door after I'm gone and for God's sake don't open it for anyone. You see that thing on the wall? It's my phone, if it rings don't answer it. I'm not expecting any calls, and anyone who does is up to no good."
>You still didn't feel right leaving the girls behind without any protection
>If any trouble came your way you wanted them to be safe
>You spot the bat lost in the corner as Gilda comes walking out of the bathroom
"Gilda, perfect. Here take this."
>You hand a confused catbird human your Louisville slugger
>"What the hell do i want this for?"
"To hit me over the head."
>Gilda gives you a blank stare
"I'm kidding! Kidding. I just need someone who isn't afraid to use it if you're all going to stay here. This neighborhood isn't exactly the best."
>Gilda shoves it back into your hands
>"Why don't you take it then?"
"Because I'm going to school."
>You hand it back, but she doesn't take it
"Come on i really need to go. I only have a few months ahead of me before I'm out and like i said, if you're gonna stay, may as well-"
>"I'm not staying here you dweeb!"
"You're not?"
>"No way. I'm going back to settle my score with that pushy librarian. Hey, i may need this after all."
>Gilda takes the bat from you and you immediately try to wrestle it back
"No, no dice!"
>She lets go and sends you flying back into your chair nearly bonking yourself
>"Relax dork."
>Gilda smiles at her own amusement and leans close to you
>"I was just joking."
>Gilda flicks your nose which makes you a little irritated
>Rainbow seemed to notice
"Whatever. Applejack!"
>"Huh."
>You toss the bat at her with a quick 'catch'
>"What do ah want this fer?"
"Home defense. You're staying in today."
>"Oh is that so? *Yawn* Guess you won't mind if i hit the hay again."
>Applejack dangles the bat behind her as she walks away into the background
>"So are we going or not? This place is boring."
"Just let me get my keys."
>With Twilight cooking, Rarity and Fluttershy sewing, Pinkie missing, and Rainbow being Rainbow, you figured she just didn't want to be left alone with them
>Wait back up a bit
"Where's Pinkie Pie?"
>Applejack calls from your darkened bedroom
>"She's in here with me!"
>"Hnng, Applejack stop, that tickles."
>DONG! DONG! DONG!
>No! You were leaving now
>Besides what would Rainbow Dash think?
>The thought makes you a little uneasy
>It looked like Gilda wasn't the only one she wasn't on speaking terms with
"Let's get a move on."
>As the two of you leave you swear you hear a small cracking sound from somewhere to your right
>Maybe the rats were in the wall again
 
>The drive to school was quick and quiet
>Except for that one time Gilda called out a red light when you were distracted by a fedora floating in the wind
>It was scary how close it came to you, but you just brushed it off and kept going
>Remember Trevor? Of course you do
>That fucker showed up for school today too
>"OHMIGOSH! THERE YOU ARE ANON! HELLO FRIEND!"
>That son of a bitch was on the other side of the cafeteria
>You facepalm as he works his way through the crowd of perturbed students
>Half of which tried to trip him along the way
>The dozen or so keychains hanging from his pikachu backpack ringing loudly over every fall
>What was even more pathetic was Trevor's constant apologies which consisted of him quickly bowing to everyone
>"Comenasai, Senpai"
>More than one student took a swat at him but none connected as he ran his tiny pale ass across the room
>"Ohio, Anon-Senpai. How are you today?"
"Fine, Trevor. Just fine."
>"Trevor...'
>He lingered on his name as he watched you with expectant eyes
"I'm not calling you a 'kohai'."
>"Awww but why nooooott? You're so cool Senpai, I want to be your kohai so badly"
>You give an exasperated sigh as Gilda starts laughing
>"Go on Anon, let him be your Co-hi. [spoiler] faggot [/spoiler]
>You turn to give her a cold look before Trevor pipes up again
>"Who's this Senpai? Is she your girlfriend, oh i knew you'd get one. You're so awesome*"
>"You wanna run that by me again, Twerp?"
>Gilda rushed forward but Trevor was quick to hide behind you
>"Comenasai, comenasai! I didn't mean it! Honest! I just wanted to make Anon feel good!"
>Several rowdy teenagers laughed audibly at the dirty implications
>Goddamnit Trevor
"Will you get off me?"
>You shake Trevor loose and he jingled again, like a fucking elf
>"Comenasai Senpai, a thousand pardons to both of you. I-I-I was just joking!"
>Gilda leaned close to you
>Her breath was hot on your neck
>"What hell's wrong with him?"
"Later. Trevor, quit apologizing already."
>"Huh? Oh, sorry. I'm sorry for over-apologizing Senpai. Please forgive me!"
>Trevor bent at his waist with dramatic speed
>One passing student took the opportunity to kick him square in the ass launching him forward at you
>You catch him before he headbutts you and he starts rubbing his ass
>Sympathizing with the poor bastard you decide to reproach his attacker
"C'mon dude, he's like twelve."
>The guy smiled and shook his head as he walked out
>"Is that guy gonna be a problem?"
>Gilda cracked her knuckles
"Nah, he's a cool guy, sometimes."
>He did score you some bootleg porno- I mean, Anatomically Correct Anthropological...okay it was porn
>"Jeez, the two of you are like the school's punching bags aren't ya?"
"No"
>"Yes"
...
"Trevor, shut the fuck up."
>"Well, the kid's stupid. But at least he's honest. Not like other people i know."
>Gilda shoots you a look
"I am literally the only other person you know."
>She sighed and rolled her eyes
>"So are we doing this school thing or not?"
>First bells were about to ring
"Alright fine. But please just try to stay close and not get lost."
>Gilda opened the door to leave
>"I was planning on doing that anyway. You two are so pathetic you need someone to keep an eye on you."
>"Like a bodyguard?"
>Trevor's face lit up
>"Ha! Sure kid. A bodyguard."
>Trevor leapt happily out of your arms and out the door
>There was a pause between you two
>"Well?"
"Well, what?"
>"I'm not your stupid maid anon! I'm not going to hold this door open all day!"
"Oh, yeah. Thanks. Uh, listen about that bodyguard thing?"
>Gilda grabbed hold of your collar
>"Keep your mouth shut dweeb. I'm only doing this cause i need you."
>"Huh?"
>"To go back home idiot, now shut up and get moving!"
>Gilda shoves you through the door and makes her way to the stairs
>Trevor shows up behind you, his mouth in an opened 'oh' as the pieces started falling together in his tiny weeb head
>You give him a little smack to bring him back to reality
"Don't you say it."
>Trevor's face changed from confusion and irritation to one of mischief and delight
>"Hai, Senpai. Should we follow her?"
>Another sigh of contempt
"Yosh."
 
>You followed Gilda for two flights and a walk down three different hallways before you stopped
>Did she even know where she was going?
>You asked yourself as you watched her disappear around the corner
>"Senpai, where is she going?"
>The library was in the opposite direction so she couldn't be after revenge
"Shit if i know. Oh, while we're wasting time here give me your cell phone. I just want to make a call real quick."
>Trevor obediently fumbles his phone over to you
>Trevor had one of those flip phones, the poor little faggot hadn't caught up with the times yet
>"Do you like it? It's the same model as Ichigo's in Bleach! At least it looks like it."
>You nod absent mindedly as you called your landline
>"It cost my mom like 600 dollars..."
>You ignored Trevor and his ramblings as the dial tone started
---
>Gilda meanwhile disappears around the corner
>She was going to find this portal back to Equestria one way or another
>Now where the hell was broom closet?
>Gilda looked around the empty hall confident she had retraced her steps exactly
>But this couldn't be it
>This couldn't be the place she pulled the ape of that dweeb
>Gilda gritted her teeth and kept walking until she was sure it was a dead end
>"Damn it."
>She hissed and kicked an invisible can
>Behind her a bathroom door creaked open
>"Omg Whitney you are such a slut!"
>"I don't care!"
>Five cheerleaders stepped out in a shrill of laughter that pierced her ears
>"Grr. Will you bitches keep quiet!? I'm trying to think!"
>The girls stopped and stared at her in wry shock and amusement
>Their leader took the initiative
>"Uh? Squeeze me?"
>"You heard me you tone deaf birdbrain."
>The irony was not lost on her
>The leader shared a look with her galpals before they all shrieked with laughter again
>It was like a Dark Knight Joker audition
>"Good one, maybe next time you should go even grittier!"
>"Yeah, like call Heather a poopyhead, that might hurt!"
>"Yeah, what are you? Stuck in preschool, Gawd! What a retard!"
>The girls just kept laughing
>Gilda's last nerve had been plucked
>She balled up her fist and was ready to go when...
>"Don't be stupid Lisa, she only calls guys poopyheads when she likes them!"
>"Yeah, like, if that's the best you can come up with then you don't stand a chance against us. Whore."
>Heather propped her hands up on her hips and gave her a smug lipstick smear smile
>Her clique followed suit and it was on
>"Maybe, next time comb your hair, and don't forget to dye it too Grandma."
>"Like nice one Heather, i bet her tits sag all the way down to the floor."
>Gilda lifted her fist to them
>"Oh, yeah keep it up. You're just asking for a trip to the dentist."
>"You mean like you do every time your dentures fall out you aging dyke?"
>"Maybe if you chewed your tapioca like you did your rugs, that wouldn't happen."
>Gilda didn't get it, and they saw it
>"Ermahgerd! You don't even get it do you!"
>"I-I get it!"
>2nd mistake Gilda
>"Like total OMG!"
>"Even i didn't think you could be this sheltered, or are you just stupid?"
>"No way, she just hasn't gotten any because of her crow's feet. Guys take one look at her, turn 360 degrees, and walk away!"
>"Brittany, that's like, not even mathematically possible."
>"Yeah, but it's like, you know, stupid. Like her, she probably thought i was right! Haha!"
>The girls agreed but didn't join in her laughter
>"Well, well. Stupid and Ugly. You're the whole package aren't you? Birdbrain?"
>The girls shrieked again and Gilda had had enough
>Her nails dug hard into her palm
>This was it, this was the day these bitches were gonna die
>Gilda took two steps forward and relished the sudden quiet that grew around her as their faces contorted from conceited pleasure to frightened shock
>Enter Trevor
 
>The girls didn't answer
>Good, they listened to you
>Otherwise they would've had to hear you get your ass beat by Biff again
>He had shown up behind you just prior to calling them
>"There you are pussy."
>Trevor trembled at the sound of his voice and shot off like a cannon
>'Forget about me, yeah. Save yourself.'
"Let's not do this now."
>"Oh, we're doing it now cocksucker!"
>Biff took a swing at you
>Unfortunately for him you had gotten a good night's sleep this time
>You dodged his punch and sidestepped him on the second
>Swinging his arm in a wide arc Biff's hand manages to catch you upside your head
>Thrown off balance you stumble to the floor
>As you struggle to stand back up Biff comes at you and raises his leg
>You roll out of the way before his football star kick sends you into a coma
>Alright enough was enough
>Time to bring the tried and true kick to the balls back into action
>Without standing you extend your leg and give him your heel
>CONTACT! [spoiler] What a terrible movie [/spoiler]
>Rrrright in the...stomach
>Holyshitdudewhatdidyoudo.png
>How could you have missed!
>It didn't matter 'cause Biff took your kick and caught it too
>Afraid he'd twist your ankle or worse you begin to struggle
>Biff holds on however and yanks your ass towards him
>Your legs entwine his free foot
>Before you could fear for your balls's safety Biff reaches down and clamps his hand around your neck
>Lifting you off the ground one handed he begins to choke the life out of you
>You had to think, but you couldn't
>Panic craps all over your brain and all you can think about is trying to pry yourself loose from his grasp
>Biff had left himself wide open for a second attack and yet you could not realize it
>You were kicking your legs to find the ground rather than attack
>A flash of white came into view just as Biff loosened his grip
>Gilda had rounded the corner at full speed when she heard and laid a solid donkey punch right into the back of his skull
>You swore to God it was like something out of a Jet Li movie
>The force of it managed to knock him off his feet and send him flying forwards
>On top of you
>The two of you were sent sprawling several feet across Scruffy's freshly buffed linoleum floor
>Biff's arm was still caught around your shoulder but didn't do much
>One look into his eyes and you could tell he was fighting a concussion
 
>You toss his arm off you and pull your leg out from under him
>Biff just kept drooling and moaning
>Sitting up you dust yourself off
>A hand came into view
>Looking up you find yourself staring into Gilda's piercing amber eyes
>You feel your cheeks burning
>Before you can react Gilda reaches down and picks you up by your shirt
>"W-what the hell were you thinking ya idiot!?"
"Huh? Ow! Your nails!"
>"Answer the question!"
>You try to fruitlessly to pry yourself free
>Eventually Gilda gets tired of your squirming and lets go
>"Well?"
"Well, what?"
>"What do you mean what? You thought you could take this jerk on yourself?"
"Oh, that, yeah. Uh, nothing i couldn't handle."
>You say as you rub your sore neck
>"Sure as hell didn't look like it greenbean."
>Gilda pokes you in the chest
>"Next time you think about playing macho, why don't you come find me first? I'll show a real fight."
>Gilda lingered her gaze on you before huffing and brushing past you
>You brush the front of your shirt to get rid of the wrinkles
>Not like you ironed your clothes ever
>Trevor walks up to you
>"S-senpai a-a-are you alright? I was so scared."
"I'm fine Trevor. Did you run to go get her?"
>You look over your shoulder as Gilda walks down yet another random hallway spotchecking the doors
>"Anon-Senpai, are you even listening?"
>You turn back to him
"What?"
>"I was asking if you believed in love at first sight."
"No...not adamantly."
>You felt your cheeks flushing again
"Uh, why don't you go and help her out. Or somethi-"
>"Hi Senpai!"
>Trevor took off after her
>He ran like the Naruto
>You shook your head and stare at Biff starting to stir
>"Like OMG"
>You look up to find a gaggle of cheerleaders looking at you, mouths open
>"Are you for reals?"
>"Hashtag craziness. Anon what did you do?"
"Huh?"
>You look back at Biff, he was coming back around, albeit slowly
"Oh. OH! Oh, no no no no no."
>You give them the ol' razzle dazzle and start shaking your head while giving them jazz hands
>The leader scoffed
>"Omg, anon. You're like a secret badass aren't you?"
>What?
>"Oh my God, Biff totally had it coming."
>"I know right? He kept grabbing my ass and saying i was his girlfriend."
>"Ugh, what a perv. Just cause he's captain of the football team he thinks he can do whatever he wants. Nice job Anon."
>"Yeah, thanks anon. You're a pal!"
>The cheerleaders wink and wave good bye at you as they leave
>How do you like that?
>"I...am...going to...kick your...aaaassssss..."
>You look down at the cheerleader groping pervert football captain asshole
>He was already on all fours and starting to crawl towards you
>Now you didn't believe in kicking a guy while he's down, but then again he did try to kill you twice this week.
---
 
>Biology class was a hoot
>One of the girls already warned the teacher she'd throw up and delivered when the dissection began
>You just poked the frog's stomach until the scalpel pierced through it and then stabbed it some more
>Gilda just watched you the whole time
"In case one of us wants to become a doctor."
>You explained
>Gilda rolled her eyes and continued to waste the period scribbling useless notes
>You never looked at them
>speaking of things you never looked at, those pictures were still sitting on your disarranged living room furniture
>BBrriing!
>Gilda was first to get up, leaving you to clean up the station by yourself
>She handed in the paper to a half complacent teacher behind her desk and walked out the door without a second glance
>You hurried in an effort to catch Gilda before she laid out another jock
>The doors opened outside and the usual cacophony of student murmuring, walking, and horseplay could be heard
>There seemed to be more laughter than usual though
>Stepping out into the hall you ready yourself for the search when a shadow falls on you
>"Anon..."
>You're surprised to witness Gilda standing idly behind you
"Oh, hey. You actually waited for me."
>"I didn't wait for you."
"Oh, but-"
>"Let's go."
"Okay, history is next. It's on the-"
>"No."
>She spoke in a low husky tone
 
"No?"
>No. Let's go out."
"Out? Out where?
>"You tell me."
"What do you mean? You're the one telling me you want to leave. You decide"
>"No, you're the one deciding."
"You want me to tell you where to go? Or am i supposed to guess?"
>"Youre not telling me anything. In fact you're asking."
>She pokes you in the chest to get the point across
>"So ask me already!"
"Ask what? Where to go."
>"Do i have to spell it out for you?"
"Uh...?"
>"Anon. Ask. Me. Out."
>She scowls even more as you hear laughter again
"You, um...you, you mean like...a date?"
>Reeling a bit you prepare for an assault
>Nothing
"You...need me to...ask you out?"
>A kid or two stopped to gawk at you
>"J-just do it."
>You try to process this information
"Um, okay, w-wanna...um..."
>"Louder."
"Uh...um...Gilda, would you-"
>She raised her voice
>"Louder!"
"Ahhoookay."
>You clear your throat, still confused
"Phew. Um, ahem, Gilda. Can i ask...ah, oof. Do you...um...oooboy...um"
>Gilda was growing impatient
>You clear your throat again
>But your voice cracks next
>"Gildaah! Whoa, uh...sorry 'bout that...uh..."
>She couldn't take it anymore
>"Damn it Anon!"
"Okay, okay. Gilda. How would you liii-hiiike...crap."
>She exploded
>"GODDAMNIT ANON! WILL YOU JUST GROW A SACK AND ASK ME OUT ALREADY!"
>You failed to notice the growing crowd
>They too seemed as shocked as you
>Both of you only noticed too late as they started pointing and chuckling
>Again the shrieking laughter could be heard
>You peered out behind her and found the same cheerleaders from earlier
>Looking back at Gilda you noticed her cheeks rosing
>She grit her teeth
>"Forget it. Dweeb."
>Gilda turned to walk away but you caught her hand
>"Gilda. Wait!"
>She turned back more surprised than you've ever seen her
>Eyes wide, and watery
>Her mouth just slightly opened
>She even seemed a bit pinker
"Gilda, I..."
 
>You swallow hard before another 'uh' made its appearance
>"Yeah! Come on Anon!"
>"You can do it!"
>"Just ask her to the dance!"
>You looked over at your steadily growing audience
>"Quit being a pussy!"
>"Yeah Anon! You the man!"
>Within moments, both boys and girls were cheering you on to ask her out and eventually chanting your name
>"ANON!"
>"ANON!"
>"ANON!"
>You gulped hard as she looked at you half expectantly
>Jeremiah 1:17-18
"Gilda. Would you like to go to the Dance with me this Friday!"
>Silence
>...
>...
>kill me now please
>Gilda moved her lips
>She looked away and pulled her hand free, folding her arms
>[spoiler]"Hump, about time."[/spoiler]
>...
>"So, was that a yes?"
>A feminine voice asked
>Gilda shouted back
>"Yes, damn it!"
>The crowd erupted in applause
>The blacks came forward to slap your back and congratulate
>"That's my nigga Anon! HA HA!"
>The whites piggy backed on the other blacks who started rapping your ballad
>Others just laughed, shook their heads and walked away with a smile
>The girls obviously gushed
>The ones brave enough to confront Gilda gave her tips on what to wear, how to dress, and where to shop for a gown
>"Will you!? Hey! Shut up!"
>"Oh my God she's so embarassed!"
>You heard slow clapping coming from the classroom and found the teacher cheering you on as well
>That done it
>You work your way over to Gilda
>An effort on your part
>And grab her hand
"Hey! Do you wanna go? Like right now?"
>Gilda was exasperated
>"You have no idea."
>"OHMIGOSH! They're going out right now!"
>The grills seared the words into your brain
>A deep voice rang out behind you
>"I'll the others to mark you down as absent!"
>You couldn't take it anymore and yanked her free from the crowd
>They continued to cheer as you ran out the building
 
 
>Outside the two of you stop to catch your breath behind a brick wall
>"You mind telling me what the hell was that?"
>You perk up
"M-me? You're the one asking for a date!"
>Gilda recoils at your accusation
"What's the deal? You just came out of the blue with that shit."
>You relax a bit and back off, waiting for her answer
>Gilda looked down, a hard blush fighting to break through
>'Alright, she's not talking. Guess I can drop-'
>"...it was those girls..."
"Eh?"
>Gilda crossed her arms looking away
>"Those damn cheerleaders, all peppy, and happy, and pretty..."
"Oh yeah i think i saw them..."
>"bragging about their perfect grades, and bodies..."
"Y'know i was wondering what 'they' were laughing at..."
>"...and boyfriends..."
"What was that?"
>"Nothing! Shut up you dweeb! This is all your fault!"
"My fault?!"
>"That's right, you led me down the wrong hallway!"
"How could i have led you down the wrong hallway!? YOU got ahead of me!"
>Gilda balled her fist at you but dropped it almost instantly
>"Urgh. Forget it."
>Gilda shirked you off and walked away
>You breathe a sigh of relief
"Hey, wait, where you going?"
>"What do you care?"
>She continued to walk away
"Well i do care. I asked you out didn't I?"
>Gilda wheeled around
>"W-what the hell are you talking about? That was just for show!"
>You shrugged
"Regardless, i don't think either of us wants to go back in there."
>You point with your thumb to the school
>The thunderous cacophony had subsided with the bell
"So we may as well catch a movie. Don't you think?"
>Gilda fell quiet
 
>The theater was deserted
>Which meant no lines at the concession stands
>Unfortunately Gilda took that to mean it was an all you can eat
>'Cheapskate' she called you, for buying cheap tickets
>Not like you had a choice with the early bird special
>But she wanted to teach you how to rightfully spend your money
>You ended up dropping a hefty sum on snacks and drinks and barely finished half of them
>The only reason you ran out was because Gilda kept pitching them at the screen whenever the hero did something stupid like open a door
>"Oh, come you retard! You know damn well who's there!"
>Thank God the theater was deserted
>Breathing a sigh as you pull up to the arcade you try your best to make eye contact
"Please don't get us kicked out of here too."
>"What's this place?"
"It's an arcade, you know what that is right?"
>She snorted
>"Shyeah! 'Course i do. You think i wouldn't know an arcade when i see one?"
"But you just as-"
>"You better not cheap out on me again dweeb."
"Hey I bought out half the shop because of you!"
>"Pfft. Just half?"
>What was her deal?
"Let's just go."
>Inside the windows of course were tinted to block out natural light and create the illusion of night
>Black lights illuminated the darkness with an eerily pleasant neon blue glow
>Countless television screens flashed their demos softly against bare walls
>The cash machines however had a single 40w bulb hanging over it
>You point them out to Gilda
"We're going to need to change."
>You check the time on your phone, no wait, Trevor's phone
>Whoops, but it was just a quarter past noon
"Lots of it."
>"What!?"
>You could barely hear her over the music
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJXf-rn-iKc
>Dragging her over there you pull out a 50 and shove it into the receiver
>You should've thought this through
>200 quarters were about to spill out and you had no way to collect them
>In a desperate pitch to find a container of some kind you make the mistake of leaving Gilda alone with the money
"Stay here!"
>You jog back to the main corridor of arcades in search of the snack bar
>No more than 30 seconds you come back with a ready cup to find her missing
>Fuck
>Lucky for you though she has a mouth as loud as her hair at this point
 
>Applejack finished pinning the last of the bedsheets to the ceiling
>"All finished here. Ya really sure you need your own private workspace Rarity?"
>The sheets creatd a makeshift wall separating the "living room" from the rest of the apartment
>"Well of course darling, an artiste needs a place free from all distractions and..."
>Rarity paused as she looked at Rainbow Dash
>"...and loud noises in order for her to work properly."
>Rainbow had the TV on max volume as she watched an X-games advert
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otMZkKRFkrA
>She still had a tight grip on the controller
>"Rainbow Dash, darling, may i be so bold as to ask you nicely, please, do be a dear and turn down that racket. Please, thank you. PLEASE."
>Rainbow didn't respond
>"Um, Rarity? I don't think this is quite right."
>Fluttershy peeked out from behind the curtain
>"What isn't right?"
>She stepped out to show her the work in progress
>Fluttershy had a great many pieces pinned to her bodice
>It was a strapless brown top whose cleavage was cut down the middle
>It slid down considerably when she shrugged at Rarity exposing her pink areolas to the world
>A small draft passed through the apartment causing her nipples to harden on the spot
>"Oh, I don't know about this Rarity. How will i keep warm?"
>Rarity took one last shot at Rainbow Dash before motioning to AJ with her eyes
>Nodding in agreement Applejack went to deal with her
>"Sorry darling that dress is meant for Gilda, and i still have a lot of work left on it."
>Applejack sat on the couch
>"So what are we watchin'? Sports or boys?"
>Rainbow gritted her teeth
>"Ya know, snowboarding seems like an awful lot of fun on two legs, course ahm still particular to those spaghetti's we saw the other day."
>Standing up Dash tossed the controller at AJ
>"Watch whatever you want."
>She went to the bathroom
>"Hmm. What's gotten into that girl?"
>Regardless Aj tried to change the channel when she noticed the cracks on the plastic casing
 
>Meanwhile, in the far away land known as the boonies
>The three lords of the Wisdom, Hope, and Courage gathered once more under one banner
>Literally, the weebs printed out some shitty little cardstock equestrian banner at Kinkos and stuck it to a broom
>Marching proudly to the site of their greatest defeat where many a brother of the cloak perished 'neath the waves of deceit
>The warriors for peace made their way to the precipice where many of the local normies had also brought their offerings
>The three lords of the Fedora, Otaku, and Neckbeard tribes held up their hands to silence the mob
>The two grieving families and their close friends were a bit shocked at the outcome
>