>You kept the girls close to you and made sure Gilda was following as you led them to the closest exit
>It had just started getting crowded on the first floor when you made it out
>You didn't notice the twin fedoras you barreled by
>But they noticed you, or rather they noticed who you were with
>You don't spend any more time on the quad than you need to and run to your truck
>It's still raining but now it was more of a foggy haze
>As soon as you reach it you do a head count to make sure everyone is with you
>Purple Smart
>Blue Cunt
>White Fancy
>Yellow Quiet
>Pink Candy
>Background Pone
>?
>Wasn't there someone else?
>You look back at the school and see Gilda getting harassed by two shapeless blobs
>Or wait were they bullies
>You run back for a closer inspection to realize no, you were right the first time
>Turns out to be the "Euphoric Atheist Club local charter no.666"
>It's not even a joke that's what they called themselves
>They were an actual club recognized by the school
>The same school that fired sweet old Mrs. Mckinley for bringing a cross to school one day
>This fucking country
>Either way you had to put a stop to it and, oh.
>Gilda shoved them both back onto the wet ground without much trouble
>The two fatty squibs giggled to themselves as they rolled around on the floor
>??: "We just go pushed by Gilda!"
>??: "I know! You think she's gonna hit us?"
>??: "Sounds cool! Let's try!"
>Gilda was visibly confused by these two retards
>G: "What are you two dinks talking about? You want me to pummel you?"
>??: "Hehehe yeah. Please?"
>??: "I can't wait to tell my older brother i got touched by a girl."
>??: "Isn't your brother only 5?"
>??: "So? He thinks im cool!"
>Gilda was holding back as much as she could but decided it was getting too much and started up
>??: "Don't go! We love you!"
>:?? "It doesn't matter we only saw you for one episode. You're beautiful! Can i make you a sandwich?"
>This guy just asked for it
>The parking lot was slightly downhill from the rest of the school so the haze was considerably thicker
>You might just get away with some ninja skills
>Or not
"Hey, let's go over here!"
>Gilda looked over her shoulder and you swore you could've seen her demeanor brighten significantly when she saw you
>Or not, maybe it was just your stupid imagination because she instantly scolds you for leaving her behind
>G: "Twerp! I can't see in this thing."
"So much for being half-eagle."
>G: "What?"
"N-nothing, i swear."
>??: "Hey back off she's our Gilda! You already have the main 6!"
>??: "Yeah, twerp don't be greedy."
>Gilda was disgusted by the fact that the thing behind her used her insult for you
>G: "Alright fine i'm coming."
>The two fedora wearing faggots jumped after her and grabbed one of her boots to keep her from walking
>Gilda shook them off like you would a spider or a very scary looking insect, but with more dignity and less cursing
>G: "Get off me ya dweebs!"
>??: "She called us dweebs!"
>The started snickering again until she finally freed herself and ran back to you
>G: "Let's get out of here already. Those guys are weird."
"Honey you don't know the half of it."
 
 
>Gilda gave you a jab to your arm and told you not to call her that
>You think she meant it in a playful manner but it still hurt
>But just a bit you weren't a pussy or anything
>Either way now you were in the truck headed back home
>You did what you set out to do, no reason to stick around any longer than you needed to
>You even picked up a new souvenir
>You glance to your right at Gilda who took Rainbows spot on the passenger's seat
>R: "Oh, anon dear. I don't mean to cause any trouble but we still have these wet clothes leftover from the laundromat."
"We do?"
>R: "Oh, yes. We were interrupted by that rude stranger before we had a chance to dry them properly."
>Damn nigger
>R: "I don't want to be a bother but if we don't dry these clothes soon they'll become quite musty. We wouldn't want our big night ruined by tepid smelling clothing would we?"
"Huh?"
>R: "Why, the dance your school is holding this coming friday."
>Dance?
"Dance?"
>G: "You losers are actually going to that?"
>R: "Well of course, we're guests in this world and as such we have to obey local customs."
>Where the hell was Rarity coming up with this?
>R: "Wouldn't you agree Twilight?"
>TS: "Well, i am a princess now. It may be wise to learn as much as i can about your world now that i've been given the opportunity."
"You won't learn much at a dance besides basic human social construct."
>TS: "That's perfect! I've noticed this world isn't quite like the other one I visited a few months ago. Humans here are a lot less...um, friendly?"
>She seemed to be trying not to offend you, to little effect
"Yeah, people suck."
>Gilda perked up
>G: "So you're saying you hoomans here aren't a bunch of whiny, sissy loser ponies?"
"No. They're worse."
>TS: "Well anon? Do you think we can go?"
>You didn't like dancing, you barely knew it yourself except for what you learned from the Cosby show
>G: "Why don't you just go? Why do you have to ask this loser anything?"
>TS: "W-well Gilda, since you just arrived perhaps i should fill you in."
"I'll tell her later. You just concentrate on the dance for now."
>R: "You mean we're going?"
"Yeah, sure. Why not?"
>Rarity began the squee party as she started telling the others about her plans for new dresses she wanted to design for their first human gala
>The girls seemed really excited about a crappy high school dance
>But who knows, it might be fun
>This was going to be your first dance too
>But you sure as hell weren't as jubilant as they were
>Gilda moreso
>You could feel her pain and decided to turn on the radio in an attempt to drown out the yakking
>DJ: "Welcome back to RocknHeart, Rock Your Heart Oooouuuuutttt with 96.3, the B96! Here's a fan fav for the ROB!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK16w_Esrno
>There that should help a bit
>Looking over at her again you could see her genuinely smile and start moving her body to the music gradually until she finally started rocking out altogether
>You smirked but hid your smile, it was a pretty good song
 
 
>You kept the party going until you pulled into the parking lot
"Alright girls, we're here."
>Rarity looked outside and saw an unknown location
>R: "Say Anon? This isn't the same place as before is it?"
"Nah. I figured between you, me,and that nigger we ran into maybe we'd like to try somewhere else."
>R: "Oh, yes. I suppose so."
"Just don't let anyone get too close this time and uh, y'know watch out for the niggers. They're a problem everywhere."
>TS: "Is a 'nig-her' that person you took on earlier."
"Yeah, basic rule of thumb, if it's black and it looks like it's carrying a load in its pants it's dangerous."
TS: "What do you mean by load?"
>You think for a moment before deciding "No"
"Just if its pants are sagging below the knee."
>You turn off the truck and open the doors
"Let's go."
>The radio takes its time to die down and the girls pile out in an excited chatter
>You're just about to step out yourself when you feel a rough hand wrap around your arm
>G: "Turn it back on."
>Gilda's not so much asking as she is threatening
"Just get out of the car. We just have to wash some clothes and then we'll be gone."
>G: "I'm not spending any time with that"
>She points at the girls who are still talking in their girlish high pitched voices
>You notice Rainbow is keeping to herself
>"Wonder what's eating her?"
>You shake it off and look back at Gilda
"Alright fine."
>You turn the key in the ignition just enough to turn on the battery
"You know the same goes for you."
>G: "Huh?"
"Niggers are also notorious car thieves. Also they're not afraid to hit girls, so watch out for them."
>G: "D-don't tell me what to do! I can handle myself you dweeb."
>You tilt your head and nod as if to say "If you say so" and then you're gone
 
>Inside the laundromat was chaos
>Apparently some elementary schools decided to close early because of the storm last night
>There were children and middle aged women everywhere
>And while the women chatted over loading or folding, the little brats were chasing each other around or punishing the twenty year old arcade machines in the corner
>On the plus side no niggers
>These were just spics
>Slightly better
>A kid ran by and stomped on your foot
"Aw, fuck."
>Little bastard got you right on the toe
>You decided to find the girls before you ended up committing infanticide
>They were on the far side of the laundromat loading their own clothes into the only vacant dryer
>R: "Well, 1 dryer is better than none i suppose"
>TS: "I just wish it weren't so crowded."
>AJ: "You and me both."
>PP: "What are you talking about? This is great! I was worried this laundromat would be boring, boy was i wrong."
>Pinkie looked around the room and started bouncing with joy
"Twilight why don't you go get some change from the lady and I'll go develop the film in the meanwhile."
>You hand Twilight a twenty and keep your hand open
>She doesn't seem to understand
"The film?"
>Twilight's eyes widen with fear
>TS: "Oh, no! I must've forgot them back in the library in all the commotion!"
>FS: "Um...T-twilight..."
"Are you serious?"
>TS: "I'm afraid so. Sorry."
"Damn it."
>FS: "anon..."
>TS: "I'm so sorry Anon.."
>FS: "Twilight it's okay. I took the film, a-and the photos."
"You did?"
>Fluttershy nodded
>FS: "Right before i went to wake you up, while the big scary lady was kicking mean old Gilda out."
>You couldn't help but smile a bit
"Okay, Fluttershy can i have them?"
>FS: "Oh, I left them in the, um, backseat of the car. I was afraid they'd get wet in the rain."
"Alright then, I'll get them in a sec. I'll just take a trip the littl- I mean the men's room and then I'll be gone "
 
>Back outside Gilda was still entranced by this world's version of Rock
>It was way more raw than anything she heard before
>But all this rockin in the front seat was getting exhausting and boring
>Since she was alone in the truck she figured she'd at least make herself more comfortable
>She moved to the far back seat and decided to spread herself out
>G: 'Yup this is more like it. Decent seat, decent tunes, decent...'
>She stopped herself before going to far and looked for something to keep her mind busy
>Gilda wasn't looking for another reason to like this world more
>She spotted your cheap plastic bag on the floor next to her, it was that leather jacket you bought earlier
>Gilda pulled it out and looked it over
>It was pretty cool, too cool for a dweeb like you
>Gilda smirked and pulled it over herself
>It smelled pretty dank but felt great on her arms
>It would've been to big for a scrawny nerd like you anyway
>In her eyes she was doing you a favor
>Or maybe you did her one
>Gilda shook her head again and started searching around again to see if she could find any more neat stuff for her to steal
>It was then that the door opened
>Gilda remembered what you said about car stealing, girl hitting niggers
>Well, she'd show him.
>She'd show you she could handle herself.
>Gilda climbed over the seats and swung her leg
>G: "You're dead jerk!"
>Gilda made contact with somebody's face and sent them flying to the ground
>A smile spread over her face ear to ear
>As she fumbled her way over the seats to see who her new victim was she found you outside holding your mouth and wincing in pain
>Gilda froze
"Ow, whad da fug!"
 
>Gilda stutters trying to form words
>G: "I...you, and...and..."
>You taste salt but get up anyway
>Gat-damn!
>You step forward and shove Gilda back inside the truck
>She collapses under your hand like a house of cards and sits on the opposite seat
>You quickly look around and spot two yellow canisters next to where Gilda had been standing just seconds earlier
>G: "Your nose!"
>Gilda just noticed the small stream flowing under your hand
"Yeah. No shit."
>You pick up the film and sit down in the same seat
>You didn't have any tissue paper or anything to help stop the bleeding so you keep the door and lean outside to let it drain
>Gilda just sits there staring
>The radio keeps playing
>DJ: "Alright, alright, alright. Time for a trip down the rock of ages as we get ready for our own little brand of sweetheart. Here's a little doosy she performed back in the eighties."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RAQXg0IdfI
>Your nose wasn't as bad as Gilda made it seem with her reaction
>The majority of her boot caught you in the mouth, that's where the real damage was
>You feel around with your tongue and count all of your teeth
>At least she didn't knock any out
>You wipe your nose and look back at her
"Mind telling me why you...is that my jacket?"
>Gilda looked shocked as she looked down
>She took her time to talk back
>G: "I figured it was too cool for you. Besides you already look scrawny enough."
>She avoided eye contact the whole time
>Fair enough, you thought it was big too
"So that's why you kicked me in the face?"
>Gilda's gaze snapped back to you instantly
>G: "It's your fault for telling me to be on the lookout!"
>You're taken aback by her outburst
>G: "That's right, it's your fault i kicked you. Yeah, i'm blameless in all this."
>Gilda crossed her arms and attempted a smirk
>A smirk you wiped off quickly by reaching over the driver's seat and pulling out the key
>The radio died and you stepped out of the car
>G: "Hey put the tunes back on!"
>You close the door behind you and walk to the front of the car
>You lick the inside of your mouth again and spit
>It was all blood
>Gilda's boot opened a gash by running your lip across your teeth
>You wipe your mouth with your sleeve and start walking away
>Something makes you stop mid-stride though and forces you to look back
>Gilda was staring at you with the same expression as before
>You turn back around but don't walk any further
>After a moment's contemplation you look back again and jerk your head, urging her to follow
 
---
 
>A few minutes later your walking back to the laundromat with Gilda in tow
>You managed to take advantage of whatever guilt she had over kicking your face and forced her to carry your bag
>Well one of them anyways
>And you didn't so much force her as pleaded
>And maybe bribed?
>...
>You bought her a burrito
>And some shades
>And hairgel
>Still, she's carrying some meds for your face and a couple of umbrellas
>The weather wasn't going to let up anytime soon
>You left the rolls at the drug store for overnight development
>Waiting an hour for them seemed more tasking since you were already so exhausted
"Alright so we just pick up the girls and get our asses moving back home. I want to be in bed before jeopardy."
>G: "What's jeopardy?"
"It's how old people tell it's dinner time."
>The two of you round the corner and you tell Gilda to wait in the car, they had to be done by now
>G: "Fine. But turn on the radio, i want to listen music again."
>You agree and follow her to the car
>You settle the bags in the backseat before sitting down in the driver's seat
>As you turn the key the wipers move and you swear you see Pinkie hopping around inside
>Of course. What else would she be doing in one of the most boring places on earth?
>You set the radio station again and leave Gilda to her headbanger parade
>In the haze you swear you see Pinkie hopping around again but something else
>Whatever it was you keep moving and open the door
>A wave of laughter and cheering overtakes you as you do
>Inside was Pinkie hopping around like a fucking kangaroo with several children following her in similar fashion
>P: "Now quack like a duck!"
>The kids started quacking like little retards
>Near the back next to the folding tables was Twilight talking with her own little group of munchkins
>On the tables themselves Rainbow and Applejack had set up a little arm wrestling match between them and some of the older kids
>They were winning
>On the other table was Rarity in the midst of the middle aged women folding clothes at lightning speeds
>And off to one side was Fluttershy cooing babies to sleep with a few of the other mothers
>You were pretty sure you'd step into that Twilighty that guy on TV keeps yammering about
>Or maybe, just maybe...these girls were only acting like themselves
"Yeah? No shit, Sherlock."
 
 
>You make your way to the back and tap Twilight on the shoulder
>TS: "Oh, anon!"
"Hey there, um, what the hell is going on?"
>TS: "It's storytime!
"Uh-huh..."
>TS: "Why don't you sit down and join us?"
>You point at the clock on the wall
>TS: "Oh, do we have to go right now?"
>The little kids started protesting at her leaving
>TS: "I'm sorry anon, would you mind waiting a little longer?"
"How much longer?"
>Rarity came up behind you and placed a hand on your shoulder
>R: "Oh, dear Anon. Please don't fret, but i promised these lovely ladies I'd help them with the folding."
"You're helping them with their clothes?"
>R: "Yes, you see while you were gone the girls and I noticed...well, you were here. So we all decided to pitch in and help out any way we could, and i must say we make a model of efficiency."
>Your eyelids grew heavier just watching her lips move
>You shook your head before she went into greater detail
"How long?"
>R: "Oh, the last load should be finishing up any time now. I'd say another 5 to 8 minutes?"
>You take a look back at the women who began chattering to themselves in their incomprehensible taco talk
>You're reminded of your own mother for a second before you turn back around and face the doorway
"Fine. Finish up, but once you're done i want you in the truck Asap. I'm not feeling too good."
>TS: "Oh no, are you sick?"
"No, just finish up."
 
>Back in the truck you lean your body over the steering wheel and watch the rain run down your windshield
>The rock music was still playing but Gilda had calmed down a bit
>You reach over and lower the volume to where the music is barely audible
>G: "What the heck are you doing?"
>You ignore her and close your eyes
>G: "I'm talking to you butterbrain."
>Maybe a quick 2 minute nap would clear your head
 
---
 
>There's a bit of drool dripping down your cheek
>You reach your hand out from under the covers and wipe it off
>You turn in bed and try to get comfortable again
>Your hand falls on something soft and warm
>And smooth
>You smile unwittingly as you start to run your hand up and down along-
>nowaitaminute.gif
>You snap your eyes open and find Gilda's faces inches form yours sleeping soundly
>You look down and see your hand on her exposed hip
>Gilda moans and turns onto her back
>Since you didn't have the sense to move your hand it was now resting just below her belly button
>Not wanting to risk a savage beating from a griffin girl you rip your hand away and fall on the floor
>Gadammit. It's like your morning routine now consists of you falling on your ass
>Wait. Was it really morning?
>You hear birds chirping outside and look around you in the darkness
>The clock on the microwave read 4:58
 
Beginning of Day 7
 
>You spend a moment in silence trying to divine what was happening
"The laundromat, what? I just put my head down for a second."
>You crawl on all fours to the window over your kitchen sink
>You lean over the sink practically climbing out the window itself to see your vehicle parked perfectly just outside your building
>Struggling to understand you walk back to the middle of the room and look around again
>There were clothes everywhere and signs of Rarity's handiwork on them
>The jacket you bought was tossed casually on the top of the sofa, right over Gilda's head
>That's right it was a sofa-bed
>Why the hell didn't you remember that shit back when Rainbow first started sleeping with you?
>A flash of rainbow's cleavage pressed against your chest made you resend that thought
>The Tv was missing and so was your gamebox
>You didn't jump to conclusions as you tried to jog your foggy memory
>You follow an imaginary trail from the living room to your bedroom
>A faint light was pouring out from under the doorway
>You creep along quietly and try your best to keep the doorknob from squeaking as you look inside
>There it was propped up on your dresser with the Okama Gamesphere on top of it
>Sitting across from it, or rather laying down was Twilight with a pen and a pad of paper
>You pick it up and try to make sense of her Equestrian writing schematics
>No one could make it out, it would just look like the scribbles of a bored teenage girl
>You toss the notebook to one side and get a good look of yourself in the dim light of the static
>You were in your underwear and socks
>After that speech you gave the girls the other day you weren't too keen on the idea of having them wake up and finding you like that
>You scramble for clothes and pull out jeans and a T-shirt which have been in the back of your drawer for ages
>Sagging jeans were so out of style now but it was all you had now seeing as how you neglected a trip to the laundromat yourself
>As you move into the bathroom you notice the bandages on your hands are wearing off
>You toss your clothes onto the toilet seat and start working them off
>The bandages were on pretty tight but a quick snip at one of the lengths with your teeth solved that problem
>Once you got them off you looked at your palms and blew on them to see how sensitive they still were
>They weren't too soft, sure they stung a bit when you put pressure on them with your fingers but other than that it was fine
>You scratch your ass and turn on the faucet
 
>A few moments later your cupping shaving cream and and trying to find an unused razor in your drawers
>Nothing
>You think back on yesterday and try to remember if you made sure to buy razors
 
Yesterday afternoon....
>G: "What's this stuff?"
>Gilda reached for a Playdude on one of the higher shelves of the Magazine rack
>Like a graceful North American Whooping Crane you glide over to Gilda to try and vex her for reading such a publishing
>Then fall flat on your face as she pulls it out of your reach
>G: "Hey, how come these girls don't have to wear clothes but i do?"
>You jump back up with the agility of a wildcat and rip the magazine from her stuffing back behind a bunch of ladies' home journals and home modeling magazines
>Your face glows red with embarrassment
"They're paid to do that!"
>G: "Oh, yeah? How much?"
"Um, uh, like, a lot?"
>G: "Huh. Hey anon, do you think i could get paid for taking my clothes off?"
>If you weren't flustered before, you are now as Gilda shakes her goods in front of you
>You shake the naughty images out of your head before you grab her hand and drag her behind you
>You shout practically at the top of your lungs
"I need razors!"
 
Back to today....
 
>"Oh, yeah. That happened."
>You're just dressed in your pants at this point so you think it's safe enough to venture out
>Even if one of the girls wakes up early and catches you about
>The only light in the apartment is coming from your bathroom, but the morning is coming along and the first morning greys are peeking through your windows
>It's still a little dark though
>You make your way carefully through the darkness picking out where to step for fear of ruining Rarity's "Organized Chaos"
>All you had to do was find the bag with the razors in it and go back
>That was pretty cocky thinking since you weren't even sure you brought that bag up with you
>"Whatever it's worth a try."
>You think you see a plastic bag by the door and make your way to it
>You hit something hard with your toes and stumble forward
>Reaching out your hands in the darkness you suddenly remember the shaving cream and, not wanting to stain anything, you twist your hand in the last second towards
>And your face
>You get a face full of the stuff and decide to stay still a moment to ponder if your life had suddenly turned into a sitcom
>Once your done reconciling you push back and settle on your knees
>Apparently you had fallen onto the sofabed and disturbed Gilda's sleep
>G: "Anon? What the heck are you up to you frisky little dweeb."
>You look back at the bed and notice your hand on her ankle
>No time for this
"Go back to sleep."
>As you turn your head back to her you notice the drug store bag next to her on the floor
>And peeking out the top in light of the bathroom, are the cheap disposable razors
>You reach over and furiously snatch them up before turning back
>Gilda gets out of bed and groggily addresses you
>G: "Wait a minute dweeb."
>You stop and she pushes past you
>G: "Me first."
>Gilda commandeers the bathroom for herself and your forced to wait outside the door
>You take the time to smear the cream on properly and wipe your eyes clean
>A few seconds later Gilda comes out in what you take as a nighty
>It was brown with white lace around the neck and reached just past her hips
>G: "What are you looking at?"
>You mumble 'Nothing' and walk into the bathroom
>You clean your hands and fill up the sink with hot water before you shave
>Damn razors cost you a load of trouble, they better fucking work
>They do of course, cheap but effective
>The first thing you go for is the developing neckbeard, how anyone could think this area of your body looked cool when hairy you hadn't a clue
>Next on your list was your patchy ill formed mustache
>Of course as is customary for every man you left yourself looking like the Fuhrer to have some fun in the mirror
>You even took a comb and parted your hair like him for added effect
>Ooh, your hair is getting a little shaggy too. Better take care of that soon
>You never liked your sideburns either, and they were the easiest to shave so they had to go too
>You give the rest of your face a once over and make sure everything is as smooth as a baby's bottom before throwing the razor away and rinsing your face of what was left of the cream
>No nicks this time, you deserved a double thumbs up
>You click at yourself in the mirror and do a little gun salute with your hands before coming back to the real world
>And Gilda, who had apparently not left the doorway in all this time
>She seemed just as surprised as you did when you spotted her
"Whoa, what are you still doing here?"
>G: "Huh? N-Nothing! Dweeb!"
>Gilda huffed and marched away
>G: "Ow!"
>You hear Gilda trip and fall, then mutter something to herself before apparently getting back into bed
>You turn back to the mirror
>Was she watching you shave?
 
---