>You are anonymous
>and damn, this is the worst snowstorm you've seen in years
>just your luck it hits in the middle of the night, during your commute home
>you flick on the high beams and turn up the radio
>you and your truck have weathered worse
>The old ford rumbles encouragingly as you cruise down the road
>Watching the snow swirl against the windshield, you're suddenly glad you fixed the heater
>You've got roughly a half hour to go until you get to your house
>and your bed calls to you like the sirens of yore called to dutiful Odyseus
 
 
>15 minutes pass, and the snowstorm worsens
>Lucky for you these roads are so seldom used
>Visibility goes down the shitter
>You wouldn't see another car in these conditions if it was 5' away
>The snow gradually piles higher and higher on the road
>The radio suddenly cuts out
>no slow fading, like what usually happens in these storms
>just BAM!  Static
>Whatever, probably a short somewhere, gotta get home
>As you soldier bravely on, the snowstorm lightens
>You can see the road again
>Little more now than a pair of ruts in the snow
>looking to your left, the trees still line the road
>wait a minute...
>those aren't pine trees
>They're deciduous
>And there's a hell of a lot more space betweeen them than the pine forests you remember
 
 
>Your internal debate is interrupted by a sudden looseness in the steering wheel
>Fuck, ice on the road
>You twist the steering wheel uselessly, then pound on the horn
>There's a curve coming up
>You stomp on the brakes to no effect
>and plow straight into a snowbank
>Just your bleeding luck, getting stuck in the middle of the worst snowstorm for years
>Oh well, this is no time for bitching
>You turn off the engine and hop out to assess the damage
>oddly, it doesn't seem as cold as it was when you set out
>The truck itself is relativley undamaged
>The bumper has a new scratch to add to its already formidable collection
>no, the real problem is the location
>your truck is up to its axles in snow
>not even the 4 Wheel Drive will get you out of this one
 
 
>Hang on a second
>You have a cellphone!
>you can call for help
>...Not without a signal, you can't
>Well shit
>Probably gonna have to spend the night in the truck
>You'll work on getting unstuck in the morning, when you can see
>Guess it's time to climb back in t-
>Is that a light in the distance?
>It must be a your lucky day!
>You begin trudging towards the light
>With any luck, it's a house
>With people that can lend you a bed for the night
>and give your truck a helping push in the morning
 
 
>Your breath frosts in the air as you tromp towards the light
>You can see it originates from some sort of building
>As you get closer, you see...
>A barn?
>Whatever
>That just means there has to be a farmhouse somewhere nearby
>Except this isn't just any barn
>It's just about the biggest damn barn you've ever seen
>And it has several smaller offshoots
>Anyway, the lights in the metabarn are on
>So hopefully there's someone there that can help
>You blow into your gloves and approach the nearest door
>WHich is actually kinda small...
>So you've found a colony of midgets
>Wonderful
>You dig deep into your pockets, and your fears are confirmed
>You used up your last fuck this morning, and have no more to give
>You're cold
>You're tired
>And you just want a meal and a warm bed to sleep in
>So without further ado you knock sharply on the door
>as sharply as one can knock with gloves, anyway
 
 
>You are Applebloom
>and life is going pretty good for you
>You got home from your hijinks with your friends Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle just before the storm hit
>and boy did it hit
>But that doesn't worry you
>You have your nice warm barn to keep you safe
>Granny Smith is off in Apploosa visiting relatives
>You're sitting down to dinner with the rest of your family when a knock on the door catches your ears
>"I got it!  I got it!" You shout as AppleJack and Big Mac start to rise
>They shrug and sit back down
>You run to the door
>Maybe your friends wanted a sleepover after all?
>Maybe it's Pinkie with the automated cheese grater!
>Maybe Rarity finished your scarf!
>Still musing at the possibilities, you open the door
>Standing before you is a big, black monster
>It is quite possibly one of the scariest things you have ever seen
>You stare at it
>It stares back at you
>Then it growls at you
>So you take the only rational course of action
 
 
>YOu are Anonymous
>and you're wondering how much slower midgets move than regular sized people
>because you've been standing here for awhile
>and nothing is happening
>You're about to turn around and tromp back to your truck when the door opens
>You peer inside and see...
>nothing?
>No
>Wait
>Before you stands quite possibly the most adorable thing you've ever seen
>It's a tiny horselike thing
>cream colored, with a red mane and a comically oversized bow
>It barely comes up to you knee
>As you watch, its eyes focus on you
>A look of horror slowly dawns on its face
>Oh shit
>Gotta fix this
>First impressions time!
>You clear your throat...
>It lets loose the highest pitched scream you've ever heard and slams the door in your face
>The scream gets quieter as whatever the thing was runs deeper into the barn
>The delicious, warm barn
>Goddamnit
>Well, you suppose you can't blame the little thing
>You do cut a fairly imposing figure in your cold weather gear
>Your face is completely obscured beneath the scarf and goggles
 
 
>You are AppleJack
>And whatever's at the door, Applebloom doesn't care for it
>As you watch, she comes screaming back through the archway
>You've seen her run before, but never with this speed
>She vaults over your back and hides behind you, trembling
>"M.. M... Muh- Muh -Muh" she stutters
>"Applebloom, what in tarnation has got you so scared?"
>"MONSTER!" she squeaks, pointing a hoof towards the door
>"T'aint no monsters around this time of year, they're all hibernatin'."
>"I know what I saw!  And I saw a monster!" insists Applebloom
>As if to prove her point, there comes another knock at the door
>"Monsters don't knock.  Come on Big Mac, let's go see to the gentlecolt outside"
 
 
>You are Anonymous
>and this standing around in the cold waiting buisness is getting really old
>the door opens again
>This time there's two
>One is orange, and wears a stetson
>Its mane and tail are blonde and bound with bands
>It stands a little bit above your waist
>The second one, behind it, is a deep red
>It definitely eats its wheaties
>And it stands around a head taller than the orange one
>They're both staring at you
>First impressions, take two!
Uh... Hello
>You offer
>They both visibly relax at the sound of your voice
>"Howdy!" says the orange one, with an audible southern inflection
>Wat
>Talking horse things
>If you had a fuck left to give, you would be flying through the sky right now on jets of WHY
>as it is, you simply explain your situation
>You point your thumb behind you
My truck is stuck in a snowbank, and I was wondering if I could stay the night, seeing as this is the only place around...
>"Oh, where are mah manners?  Come on in!"
 
 
>You have to crouch to get through the doorway
>but the ceiling is built high enough for you to stand up
>barely
>You immediately begin stripping off your cold weather gear
>off come the goggles, the scarf, the hat, the hood
>The gloves, outer jaket, boots, and snowpants
>That accomplished, you turn around and face your benificiaries
>They're both looking at you slackjawed
I'm Anonymous.  What's your name?
>They snap out of their reverie
>"Ah'm AppleJack, and that there is Big Macintosh" answers the orange one
Pleased to meet you, Miss AppleJack
>Her cheeks turn a rather rosy shade of red
>"Shucks, yall don't need to be so fancy."
>What did you just do?
>Moving on
And, uh, if you don't mind my asking...
WHAT are you?
>"We're p0nies, sugarcube"
>"Eeyup"
>Big Mac isn't much for words, apparently
>"Ah could ask the same of you" Says AppleJack
Well I'm a human
>"Can't say ah've ever heard of humans" muses AppleJack
>Figures
>Well, on to the issue at hand
I'd hate to impose, but like I said before I need a place to stay for the night.  I can pay you-
>"Yall can stay the night, but ah can't take yer bits" says AppleJack
>Bits?
>Dorothy, You ain't in Kansas anymore
>Deal with wierdness tomorrow.  Sleep tonight.
>"Now then, Anonymous, have ya had dinner yet?"
No...
>"Then yall can join us.  We were just sittin' down before ya came in"
 
 
>You follow AppleJack and Big Mac into a dining room
>Sitting at the table is the... filly?  From before
>At the sight of you, it darts under the table
>"Now Applebloom, hidin' under the table is no way to greet a guest!" scolds AppleJack
>"Why did you let that MONSTER in the house?" comes the reply
I'm not a monster
>"Y-yes you are!"
Look, I'm sorry if I scared you before.  I didn't mean to
>"Go away!"
>alright, time for some of the Anonymous family charm
>The filly peers at you from under the table
>Quick as lightning, you reach under and seize her, lifting her to your chest
>AppleJack and Big Mac gasp in shock
>Before they can do anything, you flip the filly over and tickle her
>Your hunch is rewarded with peals of laughter
>You blow a raspberry on her belly, and she laughs even harder
>You'd been wanting to do that since you saw her
>You set Applebloom down on her legs
See?  I'm not a monster
>You just picked up a filly, and you didn't hurt her at all
>Applebloom seems to realize this
>"Alright.  You're not a monster"
 
 
>Having placated the fears Applebloom, you sit down to dinner
>The p0nies somehow manage to grip the dishes with their hooves, but you've given up caring at this point
>Various preserved fruits and vegetables are served, along with several different grains
>No meat though
>Right, they're herbivores
>Eating your leafy greens never hurt you
>Most of the dishes are based on apples
>Noticing a pattern here?
>For the most part, the food is good.  Delicious in fact
>"So, Anonymous.  You said your, uh..."
My truck?
>"Yeah"
MY truck is stuck in a snowbank on the road
>"Uh..."
Yes AppleJack?
>"Whut exactly is a truck?"
>Oh shit son
>What have you gotten yourself into
>Fucking deal in the morning
>Too tired to care
It's... Y'know what, never mind.  I'll show you in the morning
>"Alright."
>A few more minutes and a serving of apple fritters pass before AppleJack makes another attempt at conversation
>"If ya don't mind my asking, where are ya'll from?  I haven't seen anyp0ny like you before"
I'm from a place called Alaska
>"Alahwhut now?"
In the United States?
>"Not ringin' any bells"
>Goddamn are you fucked
Where exactly am I, then?
>"Why you're in sweet apple acres, on the outskirts of P0nyville"
>P0nyville
>P0NYVILLE
>WHAT THE
>too tired to care
And the country I'm in?
>AppleJack looks at you like you've grown an arm out of your forehead
>"Equestria, sugarcube"
>So you are in a completely new country
>Hell, probably a new planet
>All a problem for tomorrow
>Tonight you sleep like a god
 
 
>After dinner, you help clear the dishes
>AppleJack objects, but it's the least you can do
>She shows you where the bathroom is, and you make use of it
>Toilet's just a porclain hole in the floor, but you manage
>you wash your hands and head back to the dining room, where you find AppleJack waiting for you
>"Alright Anonymous, time for bed.  I'll show you where ya can sleep tonight"
>She pulls a pillow and a blanket out of a closet in the hallway
That's alright, I can use my jacket
>"But ya'll-
Oh hush.  I don't want to be any more trouble than already am, and your blankets are a bit small for me anyway
>She seems to bow to the face of reason, and leads you into what appears to be a living room
>She sets the pillow on the couch
>Which, surprisingly, is long enough for you to lay down on comfortably
>"Yall can sleep on the couch tonight.  Ah apologize, it's all that's open"
Thank you AppleJack.  I appreciate it
>"Shucks, t'aint no trouble"
>AppleJack leaves as you set down on the couch
>"G'night, Anonymous"
 
 
>You remove your holster and set it on the end table
>Out come the wallet, keys, change, knife, the usual pocket stuff
>finally, you pull your glasses off and place those on the end table
>Wait a minute
>Are they still there?
>You rummage through your jacket pockets
>They have to be
>You remember grabbing them this morning, clear as day
>Yes!
>Time for dessert!
>You triumphantly pull a box of Mike and Ikes out of your jacket
>As you pop a few in your mouth, you notice a pair of red eyes watching you from the doorway
YOu can come in if you like
>They jump at the sound of your voice, then resolve themselves into Applebloom
>She walks across the living room towards you, but stops halfway
>Oh, this won't do
>This won't do at all
>If you're gonna spend the night in this place, you can't have one of the occupants terrified by your presence
>"What are those?"
They're Mike and Ikes.  Want some?
>You hold out a few in your hand
>She approaches cautiously
>taking them in her mouth, she darts back to her original position
>Her eyes widen when the flavor hits
Tasty, aren't they?
>She looks down at the floor and blushes
Hey
>She looks up
C'mere
>You pat the couch next to you
>she hesitantly approaches, then joins you on the couch
>you put the mike and ikes back in your jacket
>These might be the last mike and ikes you get to eat for awhile
>bettter make them last
>"I'm sorry for calling you a monster before"
Hey, it's alright.  I can be pretty scary sometimes
>She chuckles a bit
Say, have you ever heard the story of Thagmarr the Barbarian?
>She shakes her head
Would you like to?
>"Sure!  The stories 'round here are all the same"
Well, the beginning finds Brave Thagmarr entering a small town, in search of a tavern...
 
 
...And that's how Thagmarr and Urist got to Vallhalla
>Applebloom was a good story listener
>She gasped at all the right moments
>and kept rapt attention the whole way through
>"I've never heard a story like that before" she muses sleepily
I think it's time for bed
>"Awwwww" she complains
For both of us
>"okay..."
>and with that she falls asleep on the couch next to you
>D'awwwwww
>You pick her up and carry her down the hallway
>There's a door with a green apple on it
>A door with three red apples on it
>A door with a pie on it
>and a door with a large red bow
>That's your door
>You quietly open the door and step through
>Into an intensely colorful room
>You set Applebloom down on the bed and cover her with the sheets
Goodnight
>you whisper as you slowly close the door
>And with that, you retire to your couch for the night
 
 
>You are dragged from sleep by a familiar sound
>Applebloom screaming
>wat
>Why is she screaming
>you open your eyes
>You aren't at the door, why is-
>You train of thought is interrupted as Applebloom runs through your field of vision
>Not two seconds behind her is some kind of...
>Wolf?
>that's a fucking oddly colored wolf
>But that's not important
>What is important is that it is threatening one of your hosts
>YOu sieze your pistol from its holster, flick the safety off and leap up from the couch
>The wolf has Applebloom cornered now, and is advancing slowly, growling
>It is rudely interrupted by your tackle
>That's definitely going to bruise later
>It feels like you tackled a log
>but your tackle serves its purpose
>The wolf is now on the floor, and you're on top of it
>It snarls and snaps at you, but now you've got your knees on it
>Before it can throw you off, you force its head to the ground with your free arm
> you place your pistol at its temple and fire three shots
 
 
>The report is deafening inside the small room
>The wolf instantly goes limp
>And starts bleeding on the floor
>It's bleeding...
>Sap?
>What the hell?
>you get up and examine the wolf more closely
>It's made of wood
>That explains the strange fur patterns
>Whatever
>Wood or not, othing takes 3 .45 slugs to the face and walks away whistling
>You look at your pistol
>The M1911 had been your father's
>He passed it on to you when he died
>You carry it every day in his memory
>It had saved him from countless enemy soldiers and more than a few muggers
>And now it had saved one of the few friends you had in this strange new land
>You flick the safety back on and put it back on the end table, then turn around
>Applebloom is still in the corner the wolf chased her to
>She is crying
>You walk over and pick her up
>You wrap your arms around her in what you hope is a comforting hug
>You are surprised to feel her hooves wrap around your chest
>She sobs into your shoulder as you slide down the corner and sit on the floor
>A pair of thumps come from down the hall
>A few moments later, AppleJack and Big Mac appear in the archway
 
 
>"I - We heard - and - Whut in tarnation..."
Uh...
Good morning?
>AppleJack sits down on the floor, taking the living room scene in
>"Whut exactly happened here?"
Applebloom here came screaming into the living room, with that... thing... on her tail
I stopped it
>There isn't anything more to say
>By now, Applebloom has stopped crying
>She still hiccups occasionally
>AppleJack crosses the living room and sits next to you
>Gleaning her intentions, you slowly release the filly from your grip
>She lets go of you, and you set her down on the ground in front of both of you
>"Sweetie, why was that timber wolf chasing you?"
>Timber wolf
>Ha ha
>You'll have to remember to laugh at that one later
>Applebloom sniffs
>"I-it jumped through my window this morning.  I was lucky I was awake"
>You reach over and ruffle her mane
Well, it's not going to be jumping through anyone's window anytime soon
>And with that, you get up and start putting your boots on
>Then you put on your glasses and holster
>You pick up your spent brass and put it in your pocket
>The three p0nies watch as you heft the corpse of the timber wolf over your shoulder
Where do you want this, then?
>"Yall can just set it outside the front door"
>You carry the wolf to the front door
>Opening it, you give it a good heave
>It lands in the snow a few feet out of the way
 
 
>You and Big Mac sit down to enjoy a breakfast of steaming hot flapjacks you cooked yourself
>AppleJack is tending to her sister in another room
>The silence between the two of you is palpable
>You're on your second pancake when Big Mac clears his throat
>"Anonymous..."
>You look up
>"Thank you"
For what?
>"For saving my sister"
I just did what anybody would have done
>"If you hadn't been there-"
But I was
>You look him straight in the eyes
And that's all that matters
>He nods and goes back to his pancakes
 
 
>After breakfast, you find yourself standing in front of the barn with Big Mac, AppleJack and Applebloom
>They have boots and scarves
>You have most of your gear on, minus the scarf and goggles
>And your coat is open
>It's warmer here than back home
>"Hey Anonymous"
>It's AppleJack this time
>"How did yall kill that timber wolf?  And what were those booming noises?"
I shot it with my pistol
>"yer whut?"
>You sigh and draw your pistol
I believe a demonstration is in order.  Applebloom, could you please go get me an orange?
>Applebloom looks confused, but honors your request
>You take the orange from her and throw it out into the snow
You may want to cover your ears
>When they oblige, you draw a bead on the orange
>The shot rings out across the orchard, and they all flinch
>The orange is gone
>All that remains is an orange colored stain in the snow
>"By Celestia's mane..." you hear AppleJack mutter
>You exchange the magazine for a fresh one
>Now you're down to two full mags and one with three shots left
>you pick up the single spent cartridge
 
 
So this place is called Equestria, right?
>"Eeyup"
And we're on the outskirts of... P0nyville
>"Eeyup"
>"You're not from around here, are ya"
>This from AppleJack
No AppleJack, I don't think I am
>"Ah've got a friend that might be able to help ya"
>"And she'd be mighty interested in that pistol of yours"
>At this point, you'll take any help you can get to figure out exactly where the fuck you are
Alright.
>"We'll just head into P0nyville then. Come on!"
Not yet
>AppleJack cocks her head at you
>"Why not?"
I gotta go dig my truck out first
>"Oh.  Right.  Your truck."
You can come if you like
>And with that, you turn around and head towards where your truck is stuck
>The p0nies follow you, having nothing better to do
 
 
>Finally, a stroke of luck
>The truck's not buried nearly as bad as you thought it was
>You reach into the bed and pull out a shovel
>And start digging out around the wheels
>The p0nies watch all this in bemused silence
>Pretty soon, you're ready
>You put the shovel back in the truckbed and climb inside the cab
>When you turn the key, the truck roars to life, then settles into a vigourous idle
>You're glad you filled up both tanks before you left work
>Welp, moment of truth
>Popping the truck into four wheel drive, you stomp on the gas
>The truck lurches backward, then skids out onto the road
>Success!
>Turning the key off, you step out
>"That's... quite the truck you have there" says AppleJack
P0nyvile's that way, right?
>You ask pointing down the road
>"Yeah..."
>you grin
Care for a ride?
>"Ah don't see why not..."
>You open the passenger door
Hop in
 
 
>Normally you can't fit three people plus you in the cab of your truck
>But these aren't people
>They're p0nies
>And as such, are somewhat smaller than people
>So they fit inside
>The seat is a bit akward for them
>But they manage
>You climb inside the driver side door and find yourself sitting next to Applebloom
Are you ready?
>"Yes!" she squeaks
>The adorable is strong with this one
>You jam the truck in gear and start off down the road
>As you pick up speed, you notice each of the p0nies react differently
>Big Mac widens his eyes until they're practically popping out of his head, but he doesn't make any noise
>AppleJack looks thoughtful
>"Do these side windows open?" she asks
>In resp0nse, you press down on the window control and lower the window
>She immediately sticks her head out
>"So this is what it's like for Rainbow..." You hear her mutter
>Applebloom merely smiles from ear to ear
Having fun?
>"Yeah!"
 
 
>Soon enough, you find yourself approaching the outskirts of what appears to be a village
>The houses are colorful and covered in snow
>And they're houses
>As you begin to slow down, you see...
>A rainbow approaching your truck
>It resolves itself into a cyan colored p0ny with wings and a rainbow colored mane
>And did you mention the wings?
>Flying fucking p0nies
>Now you've seen everything
>It flies towards you
>SMACK
>And straight into your windshield
>it looks like it was trying to land on your hood, but miscalculated
>At those speeds, your windshield should be little bits in your cab right now
>Instead, the cyan p0ny has its face comically smooshed up against the glass
>Fucking p0ny physics
>how do they work?
>You immediately stop the truck
>Applebloom and AppleJack are both having conniptions
>You didn't know anything could laugh that hard
>Big Mac merely blinks
>You jump out of the the truck and pry the cyan p0ny off your windshield
>dusting it off, you set it down on its hooves
>AppleJack jumps out of the truck
>"Why, howdy there Rainbow" she giggles
You know this... p0ny?
>"Of course ah do"
>"That there is Rainbow Dash, one of mah best friends and the fastest pegasus in P0nyville"
>Pegasus
>So that's what they're called
>You turn to the pegasus and extend your hand
Pleased to meet you, Miss Dash
>Her eyes are making concentric circles in their sockets
>"I'm... honored..." She manages before falling over
>AppleJack soon joins her on the ground, howling with laughter
>You walk over and open the passenger side door
>Big Mac jumps out with the fury of a thousand NOPEs
>He runs off towards town saying something about a cheese grater
>Guess he didn't care much for going fast
>You load Rainbow and AppleJack back into the cab, and drive onwards towards P0nyville
 
 
>You enter P0nyville
>The place almost hurts to look at, it's so colorful
>There's a carousel shaped building, one shaped like a giant cupcake, and a large auditorium
>And the place is filled with p0nies
>Who are surprisingly quick to get out of the way of your truck
>They all freeze as you drive past, and stare at you
>Then they resume their buisness once you're gone
>AppleJack eventually recovers enough to direct you to her friend's house
>Which is a tree
>Nope
>You're not surprised
>Not at all
>Not even one litt-
>Oh what the fuck
>It's a treehouse
>You shut off the engine and hop out of your truck
>Then you go to the passenger door and open it
>Rainbow Dash is still out of it
>And you can't just leave her in your truck
>So you grab her and let AppleJack and Applebloom hop out of the truck
>You're sure AppleJack's friend won't mind you bringing her in
>Applebloom runs off down the street, shouting "Thanks for the ride!" as she goes
>You turn to the door on the tree house and knock, still carrying Rainbow
>You quickly snatch your fist away as it is enveloped in a glowing purple aura
>It slowly opens inward, to reveal...
>A purple unicorn with an even deeper purple mane shot through with a single pink stripe
>Remember when you said you'd seen everything?
>You were wrong
>Now you've seen everything
>Fucking magical p0ny land
>Literally
>The thing's horn is still glowing with the purple aura
 
 
>You watch as the unicorn's eyes slowly widen to the size of dinner plates
>"OHMYGOSHHIHOWAREYOUIHAVESOMANYQUESTIONSWHATISYOURSPECIESWHEREDOYOUCOMEFROMWHYAREYOUSOTALLWHATSYOURNAMEWHATARETHOSETHINGSCALLEDWHAT'STHATYOU'RWEARINGDOYOULIKEPIEHOWTALLAREYOUNICETOMEETYOU!"
>You take a step back under the verbal assault
>as it pauses to draw breath, AppleJack appears from behind you
>"That's Twilight Sparkle"
Is she always like this?
>"Only when there's something new to study"
Ah.  A mare after my own heart
>You can't believe you just said that
>Twilight seems to realize her folly and stops spouting questions
>She looks at you sheepishly
>You give an encouraging nod
>"As AppleJack said, My name is Twilight Sparkle.  I am P0nyville's resident librarian.  What's your name?"
I am Anonymous.  Pleased to meet you, miss Sparkle.
>She blushes
>"You can call me Twilight."
>"Anonymous here needs your help, Twilight" says AppleJack
Indeed.  I seem to be lost
>"Well, come on in then!" says Twilight, turning to free up the door
>You lock your truck and head inside
 
 
>The place is wall to wall books
>YOu haven't seen this many books since, well...
>Ever
>And that's saying something
>You set Rainbow down on a couch.  She's beginning to come around
>You then strip off your cold weather gear
>"What happened to her, anyway?" asks Twilight
She had a rather... shocking encounter with my windshield
>"Oh, is that part of your thing outside?  How does it move?  Is it-"
>"Twilight" Warns AppleJack
>"Right.  Sorry.  It's just that I've never seen anything like you before!"
>"You are a completely new species! There's just so much to learn!"
I understand completely.  I am more than willing to answer all of your questions
>AppleJack facehoofs
However, I would like to see a map of the region first
>Twilight turns to a door
>"SPIIIIIKE!" she yells
>Out of the door appears...
>A tiny purple and green lizard thing
>Bipedal, like you, and about the size of Applebloom
>It rubs its eyes
>"What, what-"
>Then it notices you
Sup
>It whips around and runs back through the door, slamming it
 
 
>"Oh, for the love of Celestia..." mutters Twilight
It's alright.  I tend to have that effect on children around here
>You say, glancing at AppleJack
>Twilight turns and levitates a large scroll out of its cubbyhole
>You snatch it out of the air and spread it out on the table
>In front of you is a gorgeous ha-err, hoof drawn map
>P0nyville has a large red arrow indicating it
>Nearby is the Everfree Forest
>Other cities of note include Canterlot, Fillydelphia, Apploosa (and the mild west region), Stalliongrad, and Manehatten
>You'd like to meet whoever came up with these names
>So you can punch them
>At the top of the map "Equestria" is written in flowery script
>This place looks nothing like Alaska at all
>You sit back, your worst fears finally confirmed
>You'd been able to hold onto a tiny sliver of hope up until this point that you were on the same planet
>But this map proved it to you beyond all doubt
>This is a completely new world
>And you might not be going home
>Still, there are worse places to be stuck, you suppose
>And these things can do magic
>Maybe they can send you home