>"Well, this turned out to be a shitty trip"
>"Let's go camping on the moors, Anon!" you say loudly to yourself in mocking tones. "What could possibly go wrong! It'll be an adventure!"
>It started out well enough. You hiked your fat arses off all day, then made camp in the shade of an enormous oak tree.
>Had a crude meal, a few cuppas, then went to bed.
>When you woke up, it was on grass rather than canvas
>He'd packed up and left you in behind
>Everything was gone. Your wallet, your bag.
>He'd even taken your tent.
>And he TOOK. THE FUCKING. KETTLE.
>So you just started walking, hoping to find a road or some kind of landmark.
>And then smash your 'friend's head in.
>But soon, you start to worry. You've no food, no water, no phone.
>And the landscape seems to have changed since yesterday, what the hell?
>Less mountainous, more light-hill. And colours seem brighter, sharper.
>You briefly consider whether this is all just a dream. If it is, it's a bloody awful one.
 
>It's been a good few hours now.
>Worry has turned into near-terrified panic.
>You're lost. Completely, utterly lost, and equally alone.
>You're not going to lie, you're very close to bursting into tears. Fear of death and such.
>Suddenly, you hear something
>You perk up, straining your ears and turning your head this way and that
>There it is! Voices, just around the bend!
>"Thank god! Salvation!" you cry out.
>You break into a run, eager to be found.
>As you get closer, the voices become clearer. It doesn't sound like English though.
>German, maybe?
>So, they're tourists. Who cares, rescue is rescue.
>"Hello, can you help me? I'm lost, and-"
 
>As you turn the corner, you stop.
>There's no one there. Just more hills, and trees.
>Oh, and two small horses.
>But no people
>Where are the PEOPLE?!
>"Hello?" you say again, louder this time. You turn in place, looking all around. "Where are you?! Help!"
>You hear the voices again, much closer. You spin around.
>Still just horses.
>Maybe the voices you heard were just the wind.
>At that thought, You can feel your eyes watering. This is it, then. You're going to die out here.
>Alone
>Well, there's those multicoloured horses, but they don't count.
>...
>...
>"What?"
>One of the horses is yellow with pink hair. And has wings
>"What!"
>The other one is purple with a dark, striped mane. And has a horn.
>"BLOODY HELL, WHAT?!"