>You are Anonymous the Lich
>You are the manipulative reaper of Equestria
>And right now, you’re pissed off.
>Celestia has been a constant thorn in your side
>She hasn’t stopped or slowed down your plans, but she’s been keeping you more focused on this tiresome campaign.
>In the end, all she does is work against the obvious, or treat the symptoms.
>Her lackies are always being lead.
>The Elements are always two steps behind you, never quite able to catch up.
>The fateful hour was fast approaching, when you would do battle with the worn and weary Elements.
>All you had left was one final adjustment, one little problem to be taken care of.
>The so-called ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’.
>They were the only threat to your plans, the only hole, the only stitch in your elaborate tapestry weak enough to destroy it all.
>They had to be destroyed, utterly.
>They could not survive this.
>Why, then, was it that they were nearly upon your tower, in the deep, dark Everfree, despite the countless horrors you tossed their way?
>Insufferable brats, you could hardly stand their mere existence, let alone them triumphing over your elaborate and deadly traps and pitfalls which had slain many a veteran and powerful warrior in the past.
>Damn these ponies.
>Damn them to the Pits of Hell.
>You rise.
>They were not far from your tower.
>As much as you hated doing so, you would have to personally sully your hands.
>You just hoped Pony blood didn’t stain your bones and robes.
>You begin to walk from your study, when you hear something from down below.
>It sounds like…
>Oh, Nerull no.
>There’s someone at your door, and you have an idea who it is.
>The shadows hurridly consume your body, as you flash down to the ground floor, and with a motion, the door swings open.
>”Hiya Mister Strange pony!”
>Applebloom and her two friends have reached your tower, and have saddlebags near-bursting.
>How did they get here so fast?
>”Our big sisters were off trying to fix the mess going on in Ponyville, and Applebloom here told us that you lived all alone!”
>You turn to the white one, looking at it incredulously, if only you had the face to look incredulous with.
>”Yeah! So we decided to try and make sure you were okay!”
>These ponies, are they honestly hauling their equipment through dense forest for the sake of annoying you?
>You raise your hand, ready to kill them now.
>”Aw cool! What’s this thingie here, mister!”
>Tendrils of shadow grasp where they once were, as they dart into your tower.
>Damnable creatures!
>You wheel about as they bounce around your haven.
>They defile it with every breath they take.
>You point a finger at Sweetiebell.
“Get down from there, vermin.”
>She does just that, as a thin red beam slams into the wall.
>”Oooh, is this your home? It’s so dark!”
>You make a raking motion, energy pouring off your hands.
>Scootaloo sprints from one end of the room to the other, and you miss her completely.
>”Hey girls! There’s a staircase here! I wonder what’s up there?”
>”Let’s go find out!”
>You can’t keep track of who’s doing what and saying what now
>They’re an impossible blur.
>Nerull take these living fiends.
>You flow backwards into the darkness, and arrive at the summit just as the three Crusaders arrive at the top.
>What in the unhallowed hell is going on?
>They spread out through your study, eyeing every priceless trinket and relic.
>”Ooh, what’s this do?”
“Don’t touch that, Pony!”
>The white one bumps it.
>”Whoops!”
>Crash
>Tinkle tinkle
>That, my friends, is the sound of your sanity straining
>Waiting a thousand years? Easy.
>Spending ten seconds with these mindless creatures?
>End it now, just end this torture now.
>But how?
>You can’t hit them; they seem almost immaculately blessed with luck.
>You need to distract them.
“Girls, please, calm yourselves.”
>They look over at you, wide smiles on their faces.
“You’ve not yet even introduced yourselves to me.”
>You hope this is enough to slow down their rampage while you try and figure out how to destroy them.
>”WE’RE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!”
>Oh Mellifleur, your skull was turned around from the intensity of their battle-cry
“That’s…”
>Wretched.
>Vile.
>Unworthy of existence
“… Enthralling.”
>That works.
“Please, may I offer you a seat? It would be rude if I were to be an ingracious host to such-“
>Idiotic
>Brash
>Thoughtless
“-Kind, Ponies.”
>They make no effort to move, smiling at you still.
>Very well.
“My name is Anonymous, in case you were unaware.”
>You walk over to your desk, and sit down, leaning on your left arm as you dully regard these things.
>The darkness of your tower writhes and pulses.
>You bat a hand lazily, and it receeds.
>You’ve gotten no-where thusfar with fatal attacks.
>Time to try another method.
“May I ask yours?”
>One by one, they leap upon your desk and get right in your face.
>”I am Sweetiebell!”
>”They call Me Scootaloo!”
>”And A’hm Applebloom!”
>Your skull finishes spinning, and clicks back into place.
“Fitting names.”
>For such ridiculous creatures.
“Why have you come to my tower? I was not expecting company.”
>Atleast, not company this annoying.
>Or alive.
>”Well, Applebloom here saw you when you were last in the Library!”
>”An’ after some rootin’ around, I found some of the books you was readin’!”
>”So we decided to bring them to you!”
>Oh, that made sense.
>They saw you were reading, and their first thought was to-
>No, no, nevermind, you can’t think that without bursting into laughter.
“How… Altruistic, of you, little ones.”
>Your deadpan never fades.
“Now that you have brought me these things, you may leave.”
>They lose their smiles.
>”Well, uh.. Mister Anonymous, sir?”
“What is it, welp?”
>”We uh, kinda can’t go back right now.”
>”It’s really, really dark!”
>”And there’s monsters out there!”
>The irony of what they say is not lost on you.
>They prattle on about the creatures of the woods, when the real monster sits before them.
>You laugh.
>”What’s so funny, Mister Anon?”
>You stop your laughing and lean forwards.
“You seem to be under the impression it is any safer in here with me, than out there.”
>The darkness rises from the walls, as the setting sun begins to shine from behind you, casting a long shadow over the CMC.
“Tell me, you are not afraid of the dark, are you?”
>The candles about your tower begin to go out, one by one, growing more and more dark as your shadow flows like a black river.
>”Uhm…”
>You don’t let the fidgeting ponies finish.
“Good. I’d rather you be afraid for this.”
>The darkness screams, and you vanish into it, the room becoming darker and darker as the sun vanishes.
>As one, the CMC scream and run for the stairs.
>Your laughter rings through the tower.
>They scramble for the door, punching through one another to reach it.
>The shadows lash for them, missing every time.
>You prepare to crush them utterly, when the door opens wide, despite your barring it, and they tumble out.
>The lucky lady is with them, it seems.
>You reform within your tower and walk out through the threshold, your burning green eyes never leaving them.
>Power oozes from your fingertips.
>They shiver in fear as your approach.
>”T-T-That…”
>You can feel that their luck has run out
>You lord over them in their final moments.
>”Was.. Was…”
>Scream, creatures. Scream at your end.
>And they do, in unison no less.
>”TOTALLY AWESOME!”
>You can hardly even think.
>This is not at all what you had in plan.
>Not even close.
>You look at them, flabbergasted.
>You reach up to grab them, but they jump off, giggling.
>Only though a lucky snatch do you grab ahold of Applebloom.
>You hold her, ready to rip her skeleton from her flesh, and-
>She has the most disarming, hysterical laughter ever.
>”You got me anon!”
>She laughs more as you look down at her, unable to comprehend that these little ponies do not see you for what you are.
>She makes a soft ‘Whee!’ as you hold her in both hands, awed at the bravery such a small, young thing could have.
>She truly did not care what you were.
>Ten Thousand years, and this is the first time anyone has bothered trying to see past your skeletal exterior, into the true you.
>There wasn’t much to hide, but even so, she assumes the best in you.
>You should exploit this, kill her now.
>End this menace before it becomes worse.
>All you can do is simply cradle her in your arms, at a loss of where to go next.
>”Mister Anon?”
>She looks at you with hopeful eyes.
>”Are ya sure we can’t spend the night?”
>You pause, thinking.
>They would break more precious things.
>They would be a tax upon your patience.
>They are anathema to everything you value.
“No… I think I may reconcider.”
>What are you doing?
“Come, Scootaloo, Sweetiebell. I shall…”
>Anonymous, put the horse down right now and destroy it.
>This is not right.
>You do not babysit, nor do you find any pleasure in the living beasts
“… See to providing quarters for the night.”
>Nerull, what have these demons done to you?