>Walking through the station gates, you cast your eyes around Ponyville.
>It seems a pleasant enough town. Surprisingly vibrant, too.
>You’d like to take the time to walk around a little, do a little sightseeing.
>Right now, though…
“Shift your arse. We’re not hanging around.”
>Anon nudges you forward with his knee, and you both set o at a brisk pace.
“>Do you know where we’re going?”
“It’s a big, sort of round fucker. It was in the files. Presuming it’s somewhere towards the centre of town.”
>His eyes are focused straight ahead. They narrow as you start to hear the whispers.
>Ponies are starting to take notice of the towering, well-dressed, bipedal creature.
>Most seem content to simply stare from a safe distance, seeing that Anon at least looked civilised. It makes you feel a little uncomfortable, but you can ignore it for the most part.
>You can hear the occasional snippet of gossip.
>”…from Canterlot. My sister says he was in the papers because he tried to…”
>“…meat? The princess wouldn’t let him, surely? Although…”
“…with a banana. I know, I didn’t know you could either…”
>“...other dimension. Or an alien or something. Yeah, or…”
>You turn a corner, past a bakery and onto what looks like the main road through town.
>It’s a little more crowded here. The noise of the growing crowd begins to rise.
>You start to notice little signs stuck to the walls and lampposts. There’s quite a lot of them actually.
>90% of them say the same thing
>”VOTE FOR RICH”, with a picture of a noble-looking stallion on them.
>The other 10%, smaller I size, say “Please vote for Mayor Mare!”
>Even you think that’s a little weak
>You feel a nudge from Anon, who nods his head forward.
>Turning, you see a large, stately building, in the middle of a relative clearing. This must be the mayor’s office.
>You both start towards it. A path forms through the crowd. Those in front of you quieten down as Anon approaches, and part gently to let you pass
>Anon doesn’t speak a word as you approach the entrance.
>The only sound is the murmuring of the crowd, like static from a distant radio
>Awkward, yes, but you can deal with awkward. Anon hasn’t threatened anypony at least. That’s a success in your book.
>Speaking of Anon, he actually seems a little uncomfortable; his eyes darting away from the stares of the town ponies. He did try to make it rain today. Maybe he doesn’t like crowds.
>Just get inside and you can get out of the public eye for a little bit. Maybe you can explore on your own later.
>Almost there…
>Something blurs past you. You barely register it
>You look up to see a pink mare in front of you both. She brings her forelegs to her mouth and gasps.
>Like, really gasps. It’s quite impressive.
>Anon goes to move past her, like she wasn’t there. She springs into action, talking and moving as Anon tries his best to walk right past her.
>”Hi there! What’s your name! I’ve never seen anything like you before! You’re sooooo tall, like really tall, well, maybe not minotaur tall but they’re really tall too! Oh, and dragons are tall too, but they’re also kind of mean and scary, except for Spike, but he’s tiny! Maybe that’s why he’s so nice?”
>She ponders her theory.
>”I’ll ask Twilight about that later. Hey what’s your name? I’m Pinkie Pie!
>You look up at Anon. He doesn’t look happy. Even by his standards.
>You see his lips start to move. Uh oh.
>You launch a rescue mission.
>”Hello, Miss Pinkie Pie! My name’s Stargaze and this is Anon, we’re here to-
>She gasps again.
>”I did not. Even. See you! You’re new too, this is so great! I’ve got a ton of party stuff left over from the one we threw for Bon-Bon’s birthday-she’s really nice you know, well once you get to know her, and I do know her! So yeah, we’re going to throw you both an awesome part to welcome you to Ponyville! Isn’t that right?!”
>She turns to the crowd, hooves aloof. The crowd look at Anon, then at you. They don’t look like partying.
>Pinkie notices this.
>”I said…ISN’T THAT RIGHT?!” She blows on a party horn for emphasis
>There’s some half-hearted “Woo’s” from the crowd.
>”Great! I’m sure tonight’s going to be amazing! Ok gotta go, see you guys later!”
>Before you can even accept the invite, the pink earth pony zooms off.
>You can only stare wide-eyed, trying to remember exactly how you ended up invited to a party by a hyperactive stranger.
“Get inside, now.”
>It’s only a whisper, but you really don’t like the way he said that.
>He wrenches the doors of the Town Hall open and walks inside.
>You sheepishly wave at the crowd before following him inside.
>The door closes behind you. You find yourself in a smallish reception area. An old unicorn is sitting by a desk, fast asleep. He snores gently.
>Making sure the doors are closes, Anon leans over you.
“What the fuck was that about? We’ve been here five minutes and you’re taking invites to a fucking party?!”
>He’s somehow found a way to shout at you while still whispering.
>”I didn’t take any invites! I barely said anything!”
“You should have said no! “Thanks but no thanks, very busy helping the Mayor, I’ll see you later!” Only you wouldn’t see her later because she’s mental. Are you being deliberately bad at politics just to annoy me? Cause it’s fucking working-“
>There’s a strange gurgling noise from the sleeping receptionist. Anon goes over to see if he’s awake, then turns to you.
“We are not going to any parties. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not until we see Mayor Mare back into office. We have work to do, and I will personally make sure you are sitting at a desk doing your job. I will nail you to the fucking chair if that’s what it takes. Do you understand?”
>You gulp audibly, and nod your head. To be honest, you could do with a party. Anon sees that you understand, and relents a little.
“We have to set a standard, ok? We’re professionals, here to help, not to party with folk we meet on the street.”
>”I understand. No parties.”
>”Good girl. Now let’s work”
>He straightens up, turns back to the receptionist, and snaps his fingers in front of the old stallion’s face.
“Wakey-wakey, Rip Van Wrinkled.”
>There’s no reaction.
>Anon slams his hands on the desk.
“HELLO!”
>“HOO WHAT NOW-“
>The old pony wakes with a start, falling off his chair.
“We’re here to see the Mayor”
>”What? Oh, excuse me, I must have…drifted off. Let me just…that’s right…”
>The unicorn gets up in instalments. Anon drums his fingers on the desk as he waits.
>When fully upright, the unicorn studies his appointment list carefully.
>”Hmm…yes…I see…”
>This goes on for a while.
“Do you see us?”
>”What?
“I said do you see-“
>“See you? Er…who are you again?”
>”This is Anon, the human. I’m Stargaze, and we’re from Canterlot to help the Mayor” You say, approaching the desk,
>He looks blankly at you
>“…the Princess sent us?”
>Anon stops drumming his fingers.
>“Are we not listed in the appointment list?”
>”The what list? Oh right! That list.”
>He looks down again.
“Er…who are you again?”
“Oh, fuck this” >Mutters Anon.
>He walks up a set of stairs to the right. The receptionist is busy studying his list.
>”Well, uh…thank you?” You offer, before following the human.
>You see him march into a corridor that, according to the brass plaque on the wall, leads to the Mayor’s office.
>He’s still muttering obscenities. You follow at a safe distance.
>After a few minutes, you both arrive outside Mayor Mare’s personal office.
>You can hear two voices inside. One male, one female
“Remember: Politics is my gig. You keep quiet and speak when spoken too, alright? Magic.”
>You’re interested in seeing how he goes about his this. Surely he’s use a bit more tact talking to the Mayor, especially when he’s there to help her.
>Anon bangs his fist on the door. The voices stop. A throat is cleared.
>”Who is it?” Asks the mare; the Mayor, you presume
 “Anon the human. Open up”
>The two voices exchange words, before the door eventually opens.
>The one opening the door is a handsome brown earth pony. He looks a little stressed.
>Behind him, sitting behind a furnished desk, is Mayor Mare.
>She’s looks quite relaxed, considering she had requested aide for an upcoming election.
>”Is that the advisor from Canterlot already? Oh, wonderful! Please, come in, come in!” says the mayor, waving.
>You are led towards the desk. There are no chairs.
>The Mayor gives you an inquisitive look.
 >”The human must be Anon, but…well, I’m afraid I don’t know your name…”
>Did the Princess not tell her you were coming? Are you really that unimportant? Anon raises an eyebrow at this.
“Her name’s Stargaze. She’s my personal aide. Say hello, Stargaze.”
>”Er, hi.
>He doesn’t mention that you’re on-you were on the Royal Council.
>”It’s very nice to meet you Stargaze. And you too, Anon. If I’d known you were coming I would have prepared something for you, but…”
>Both of Anon’s eyebrows are now raised.
“You didn’t know?”
>Mayor Mare shakes her head
>”We’ve not received any messages, no. Is that bad? Was there meant to be?”
>Anon is silent for a moment. Then he smiles.
”Must have been a simple mix up. No harm done, right? I’ll have a talk with the local mail office later on.”
>Oh, you bet he will.
“But I’m here now, and don’t worry: I’m here to help. Whatever problems you had, whatever worries you may have been feeling…that’s all in the past. Just tell me what your campaign is, and   what we’re up against, and I’ll take care of everything.”
>”That’s so good to hear, Anon” beams the Mayor. She points to the stallion.
>“This is Time Turner. He’s been acting as my…assistant during this. Be a dear and show Mr Anon my campaign plan for this week”
>Time Turner smiles and hands you both a sheet of paper. You look at it.
>”MONDAY: Give speech about the future
>TUESDAY: Give speech about the past
>WEDNESDAY: Give speech about Mayor Mare (That’s you!)
>THURSDAY: Give speech about the future, but louder
>FRIDAY-SUNDAY: Weekend break! : )
>”Pretty intense, huh? But you have to put in the hours to keep this job, trust me.” Says the Mayor
>Anon keeps smiling, somehow.
“I see. Was this you writing this?” >He asks Time Turner. The stallion nods.
“Ok. We’ll just…put that to the side for now. What have you got on the other candidate?”
>The Mayor ‘s face falls a little
>”That would be Filthy Rich. He’s a very wealthy pony with a lot of support…it’s going to be a tough election.”
“And that’s why you asked for me, aye? A wee bit of the old political dark arts? Can do!
>Anon flashes a grin. The Mayor and her assistant laugh nervously, sharing a look.
“So, what’s your plan of attack?”
>”Excuse me?” Asks the Mayor.
“I mean, what are you going to say about Richey Rich here? Negative ads, secret dirt, that kind of thing.”
>For the first time, Time Turner speaks up.
>”We don’t run that sort of campaign here, Mr Anon. If we win, we’re going to win it fair and square”
>”Yes, well put Turner.” Says the Mayor, nodding sagely.
“>Even if Mr Rich has been a little…aggressive.”
>”I’m sure that those cheap shots he’s taking aren’t working, Mayor. No one likes a negative Nancy.”
>Anon glances at you for a second, shaking his head slightly, before putting on his friendly mask again.
“Well, I think I can see where you’re having problems. Time to get cracking, eh?”
>”Yes, about that…what is it you’re actually going to do?” asks Time Turner
Anon’s face hardens.
“What was that, son?”
>”I said….er, what I meant was, what is it you were…”
>He tails off. Anon leans down at him.
“First thing’s first. You. Fuck off.”
>You see the Mayor’s jaw drop out of the corner of your eye. Time Turner turns pale.
>“E-excuse me?”
“Take your plans and your “assistance”, and kindly assist your arse out the door. I don’t work with amateurs, and frankly you clearly don’t have a fucking clue what you’re doing here, do you? Do you?”
>The tan earth pony moves his mouth silently, trying to conjure a reply. The Mayor emerges from her shock.
“Anon! This is hardly the language that a professional politician should be usi-“
>Anon slams his hands on the desk, and everyone else jumps back in surprise.
“I am here to win this election for you, and let me tell you, without me you are going to get fisted by this Bill Gates motherfucker. “Please vote for me”? “Weekend break?” Fuck me, this is worse than I thought. How on earth did you get elected in the first place? Who were you running against, Helen Keller?”
>Time Turner bristles slightly, and he seems to consider speaking out. Then Anon bears down on him.
“You are leading this mare down the path of political oblivion, so you have to go. Move it, or I will move you to the fucking Emergency ward. NOW!”
>Basic survival instinct takes a hold of the tan stallion. He flees.
“And tell Father Time down there to fuck off as well! I’ve seen dead people more on the ball than him!”
>Anon turns back to the Mayor, who is cowering behind her desk.
“You and I need to have a conversation about fucking reality here. We’ve got 3 weeks to turn this around, and I need to get you on message. From now on, you don’t even fart without me giving you the ok. Go it?”
>She nods
“Good. Stargaze, time to shine. I need to explain the facts of life to the Mayor here, but I’ve got a “To Bollock” list that’s longer than a dragon’s cock.”
>He starts writing down a list of names on the back of the now-defunct campaign plan
“ I need you to go find these ponies, and tell them to get their arse to the Mayor’s office for a meeting. I don’t care what they’re doing, tell them I’m asking for them. If they don’t know who I am, paint them a picture. I want to know who runs what by tonight”
>You pick up the note and stow it in your sidepouch.
“I’ll get right on it, sir!”
“Oh fuck off with your sir shite, it’s just Anon.”
>”Uh, right, Anon”
“That’s better. Now fuck off”
>As you leave the human and the Mayor to get acquinted, you realise that you don’t even flinch at his language anymore. You must be getting used to him. Hurray, you guess.
>When you make your way outside, past the still-sleeping receptionist, you fish out the list of names again.
>Which, on further examination, only contains one actual name.
“Weather Team Leader, Farm owner, Mail Office, Boutique owner, Twilight Sparkle
>Time to get to work.