This is the story of a man. The story of a man told through >Green text
 
>Be Anon
>No, wait, not him. You're ponyfag
>Be utterly depressed. No life, no friends
>tfw no qt 3.14 gf
>Sometimes it feels like technicolor ponies are the only thing keeping you from an hero
>Shit posting on /mlp/ one night
>Feel a tap on your shoulder, turn to see what it is
>It's Discord
>Holyshitwtf.jpg
>He tells you to calm down and get down from the top of your computer desk
>"I've got a proposition for you. I can let you meet those ponies you love so much."
"The fuck. What's the catch?"
>"No catch. I promise I'll send you to your dream world. It's relatively free."
>relatively
"Discord what are you implying?"
>"I'm not implying, I'm story telling."
Fine, whatever. Anything's better than this hell hole. Now how do I get there?
>"Ponyfag, fist you must look deep in your heart. You know how that quote goes, blah blah Darkness, heart of man, whatever."
"Wait, Discord, who are you quoting?"
>"/jp/ pls go."
>Suddenly, blackness all around you.
>As you awake, you find yourself in a bed.
>"Oh, my! You're finally awake."
>You look over and see Fluttershy beside your bed
>holy fuck it actually worked
"W-where am I?
>As if you didn't already know
>"Oh, you're in Equestria Mr...?"
"Ponyfag"
>"Oh, Mr. Ponyfag. I must admit, I'm excited to see another human here."
"Wait, what? There's another human?"
>"Oh, yes. His name is Anon. I can take you to meet him if you'd like."
>After a bit of preparing, you and Fluttershy begin walking over to this Anon guy's house
>From the way Fluttershy talks about him, he must be a very friendly and caring person
>Fluttershy seems quite taken with him
>When you get to his house Fluttershy knocks on the door
>Anon opens the door, not even noticing you because he automatically looked down.
>All his visitors have been ponies till now. Guess that makes sense.
>Fluttershy smiles and says "Hello Anon, I came here to-"
>SLAM
>He just slammed the door in Fluttershy's face.
>What the fuck
>She knocks on the door again, this time mentioning that she brought another human along.
>The door slowly opens again as Anon peeks out to see you
>He's amazed to finally see another human after all this time
>After a short introduction, Anon invites you in.
>Without Fluttershy
"What? What's wrong with you dude? Fluttershy's the nicest pony."
>He proceeds to tell you about all the weird things Fluttershy has done to him
>Fluttershy? Trying rape? What a bunch of bullshit.
>Eventually the conversion steers away from the supposed rape attempts and you talk with Anon about your home towns
>Turns out you lived pretty far apart from each other, but you still find a lot to talk about
>Anon especially seems to enjoy the talk. He's only had ponies to talk to for a while, afterall.
>It eventually starts getting late when Anon offers to put you up for the night.
>That's when you notice Fluttershy's hoovering outside the window
>The poor thing. She's been waiting for you all this time?
>You decide to decline and say you'll stay with Fluttershy for the night
>Anon looks flabbergasted by this statement, but doesn't really try to stop you
>As you're walking back, you laugh and tell Fluttershy about the little stories Anon told you about her
>She simply plays along as you both make your way over to her cottage
>Eventually though she caves and begins to admit everything's true.
>She begins crying, telling you how much she loves Anon.
>You begin to console her.
>Clearly this paranoid fool Anon has mistaken Fluttershy's nervous attempts at affection as "rape" attempts. He's probably from that site with the le funny alien.
>Fluttershy just seems so pitiful. You can't help but tell her that you'll help her win Anon over tomorrow. Somehow, it just seems like the right thing to do.
>Wake up the next morning. You feel itchy all over, especially along your scalp and your back
>Probably from fucking animal hair everywhere
>After a quick attempt at a bath you discuss plans with Fluttershy over breakfast
>You're going to help her by luring Anon out to the park, where she'll have a trap waiting for him
>You softly giggle with her as you work out your plans. It's going to be perfect.
>You knock on Anon's door a couple of hours later
>After a bit of conversation you invite him out to the park to play some football
>He raises an eyebrow to your request, looking at the spherical ball you hold while also questioning how to play football with only two people
>Fuck you've never been good with sports.
>Don't blow it now.
>Despite your bit of spaghetti spewing trying to keep your cover, Anon decides to go anyway.
>Poor guy. He must be desperate for human companionship
>You'll give him companionship alright
>You arrive at the park and begin tossing the ball around, making idle conversation
>You're really just stalling for time until Fluttershy gives the signal
>Oh, look, she's waving her wing right over there. Perfect.
>You suddenly toss the ball in a wide arc over Anon's head, sending it over to where Flutters is signaling from
"Oh, oops, sorry. Must have slipped?"
>Anon gives you a bit of a glare as he heads over to pick the ball up.
>You wait in anticipation for Fluttershy to spring her trap.
>Until Anon comes back with the ball completely unharmed.
>After getting the ball back you nervously send it back overhead towards the bushes
>Anon mouths a "wtf man?" to you as you nervously follow him to see what's wrong
>As you follow a few steps behind him, suddenly you get a sinking feeling
>You fall into a huge pitfall trap
>You suddenly hear some rustling from the bushes
>"Oh, Ponyfag! I'm so sorry! I- woah!"
>You suddenly see Fluttershy swinging past the hole's opening with a rope attached to her leg
>She must have panicked and ran out to help you, but set off another trap
>You call out from the pitfall for a little help
>Anon's already gone
>And he took your ball.
>After bribing the CMC to help you out of Fluttershy's traps, you spend the rest of the day going over more schemes
>The way Fluttershy fawns over him is so cute
>You think you're beginning to understand why she does
>Fuck why is it so itchy.
>It's like no matter how hard you scratch it doesn't work as well as this morning
>It starts getting late
>Decide to go for a brute force approach. It's now or never
>Knock knock knockin' on Anon's door
>He opens and immediately closes it in your face
>You knock again and start to apologize for earlier, saying it was all Fluttershy's doing, that she tricked you
>You try to clear your throat as you plead. Feels like something's caught in it.
>After much explaining, Anon slowly opens the door and agrees to let you in.
>You smile and hum a tune as you make your way to his couch
>As you lay down you notice he's kept his eyes on you the whole time
>For some reason he's looking kind'a freaked out
>He eventually agrees to get some tea and takes a seat in the chair across from you
>After some light conversation there is a long silence
>There's a thud from outside, but you two shrug it off.
>You're still so itchy feeling. And this shirt is so tight.
"Man, it's so hot in here. Mind if I take my shirt off? We're both guys after all..."
>Anon just silently nods, studying you intently.
>Off comes the shirt. That's so much better... something about you feels so much more... free.
>Eventually Anon speaks up
>"So, ponyfag... have you noticed... anything strange?"
"No, can't say that I have. Why?"
>He just looks at you with that same freaky look
>Is he... maybe he's being shy?
>Another thud from upstairs catches Anon's attention
>He starts to get up, but you try to talk him back down
>Another thud causes him to make up his mind
>You panic and try to think of something to distract him
>You leap up and do the first thing that comes to mind
>You kiss him.
>Full force.
>You can't help but feel something's a little off about it. Like it's the strangest kiss you've ever had.
>It's also the only kiss you've ever had.
>Anon forcefully pushes you away as he scrambles back toward the stairs
>What's wrong? Is he afraid? Embarrassed that you kissed him
>But you just couldn't help it
>You look up to see Flutters miss him as she dives down the stairs, colliding with the kitchen cabinet
>You slowly rise up on your four legs as you move towards them
"What's wrong Anon? You don't want me to kiss you? I swear it's no homo, bro."
>Anon's face has gotten even more freaked out. He backs away from you, holding a frying pan in his hand
>You look up at him from behind pink locks and give a gentle smile
"It's not gay... If I'm a mare..."
>You leap at him, missing as he side steps to avoid you
>Fluttershy finally gets back on her feet. She's giggling.
>"Tell me, Anon. Are Twins..."
"...Your fetish?"
>You finish her sentence with a devious smile
>You both make a dive for Anon
>He pulls some sort of ninja jump shit, causing you and Fluttershy to collide head on with each other
>You're both seeing stars at this point
>Suddenly Anon's carrying you both by the scruff of the neck
>Holy shit how is he even lifting two ponies in each hand like this
>He tosses you both out the door, telling you both to stay out as he slams it shut.
>After coming back to you senses, both you and Fluttershy sigh as you each begin walking back towards the cottage in the sunset
>Fluttershy holds her head down as you walk
>"Aw... another day wasted..."
>You mimic her expression, looking down, before finally wrapping your wing around her, before speaking in your quiet voice
"Um... don't worry, sis. I'm sure we'll do better next time."
>After all, it's not like this is the first time this has happened.
>Isn't having a set of twins every guy's dream?
>Fucking Anon.