Picking up where Chapter Four left off.
>You sit upright in bed for a while, too afraid to move in the off chance you might wake either of the two sleeping mares.
>Thoughts race into your mind but one is more dominant than the others. ‘You have royally McFucked up, sir’. You had female friends on Earth and managed to not sleep with them. Well… most of them.
>Last night was replaying over and over again in your head. Each time a little more of the story would uncover itself.
>After arriving back at the castle with Spitfire and Misty, a guard had been so kind as to lead you back to your room. Then Spitfire gave you a… lap dance? Yeah… she said there were no strippers in Canterlot so she had to do it herself.
>You swore Misty had been reluctant to join in. But when she did, she was a lot more… forward.
>It’s always the quiet ones.
>The escapade moved to your bed shortly after, but that’s where things start to get a little… misty (I’m so sorry, I couldn’t resist).
>Your mind refocuses on the task at hand. This whole process would go a lot smoother if you could sneak out unnoticed. At least… in your head it would.
>Your attempt is cut short by the sound of the door being opened.
>Fleur returning instantly pops into your mind but you realize that it doesn’t matter who it is; it was going to end badly no matter what.
>The sound of claws clicking on the marble floor hammers the thought home that there is no way out of this.
>Celestia and Maya burst into the room. Maya instantly recognizes a foreign smell and rushes to your bed.
>OH GOD NO.
>PLEASE MAYA HAVE MERCY.
>You give her your best pleading face, but unfortunately she is a dog and cannot understand facial expressions.
 
 
>She leaps up onto the bed and lands between you and Spitfire. She edges towards the sleeping mare and begins sniffing her face.
>You can only look on as Maya begins licking Spitfire’s cheek, but nothing could prepare you for what happens next.
>Spitfire stirs slightly but stays in the same position she’s been in since you woke up.
>Spits: “You want to go again, Anon? I suppose…”
>She cuts herself short as she rolls over and notices the situation. Unfortunately, she could never stop short enough.
>You are truly speechless, as is the now wide awake Misty.
>Spitfire’s cheeks spontaneously combust as she dons the worst poker face you have ever seen.
>Celestia is the first to break the silence with a rather loud throaty chuckle. This causes both the girls to shit brix as they realize that Celestia herself is present in the room.
>Tia: “Looks like an even better morning than usual for you, Anon. Your guests are welcome to join us for breakfast if you’d like.”
“Uhh… y-yeah… I’ll… we’ll meet you down there.”
>She gives you her trademark smile and leaves the room, calling for Maya to follow before she shuts the door.
>An awkward silence fills the room once more, no one wanting to confront the elephant in the corner.
>Misty speaks up for the first time since she’s awoken.
>Mis: “Are we -seriously- going to have breakfast with her?”
>Spits: “Why not? You always wanted to meet the princess personally.”
>Mis: “Yes, I did. But not bucking like this!”
>Misty’s raised voice sends a surge of pain straight to your head, making you cringe in pain. The headache is starting to settle in after a rather flustered morning to the day.
 
 
“Look. I’m not dealing with this while I have a hangover AND an empty stomach… let’s just have breakfast and we can deal with this after.”
>Mis: “…Fine.”
>…
“Look, I know I must have been good last night,” Spitfire lets out a little giggle while Misty just scoffs, “but having breakfast does mean leaving the bed.”
>Misty takes the hint and you all hop out of bed. Doing a quick scan of the room, you realize your shirt from last night is nowhere in sight.
>‘Told you not to.’
>Ohhh. That’s right…
>Grabbing a fresh shirt and leading your party out into the hallway, you can’t help but notice how cheery Spitfire is, especially when you compare her to Misty.
>Maybe Spitfire got an extra go last night.
>You chuckle at your own joke, but recoil slightly at the realization that you’re talking about p0nies here.
>Literally fucking p0nies…
>Are you okay with this?
>You never managed a threesome with human women.
>Does that carry any relevance?
>…
>Fuck this shit. Maybe some food will assist your hung over thought process.
>The walk to the dining room is a quiet one, which is good because you really didn't want to deal with any more outbursts.
>Celestia is already sitting at the usual table, waiting for you. She's wearing a rather mischievous smile. It's a little unnerving, but the promise of food overshadows it.
>You take a seat at the table, Spitfire and Misty sitting on either side of you.
>Spitfire scoots her chair closer to you. Quite close... she might as well be sitting on your lap.
>A short silence falls into the room before Celestia speaks up.
>Tia: "Anon, you're being rude. Please introduce me to your guests."
"You know who they are..."
 
 
>Spitfire and Misty are a little taken back by your shortness with the princess. You couldn't care less. She was going to enjoy this breakfast.
>Tia: "Be that as it may, it's still polite to introduce them."
"Spitfire and Misty, Celestia. Celestia, Spitfire and Misty."
>Mis: "It is truly an honour, princess."
>Tia: "It's always a pleasure to meet one of Anon’s… special friends."
>Celestia’s casual manner seems to have caught Spitfire and Misty off guard; they both fidget nervously on their seats.
>Tia: “So, how was it?”
>All three of you do a simultaneous spit take with your imaginary drinks. Spitfire and Misty stammer over different words, forming half sentences and the like, both of them blushing heavily.
>For a lack of better options coming from either of the mares, you decide to just say something.
“It was… fine.”
>Good choice of words, idiot.
>Spits: “Just… fine?”
>Oh boy, here we go.
“Look, I don’t even remember much of last night…”
>That was a lie. You’d pretty much regained all memories of last night, save for a few places where it gets a bit hazy.
>Spits: “What do you mean d…”
>Misty hushes Spitfire before she could finish her sentence. She gives Spitfire a harsh look before returning back to the princess with the biggest fake smile you’ve ever seen.
>Tia: “So your birthday was… just fine?”
>Birthd…
>oh…
>OH.
>Fuck.
>You can see Celestia is fighting back laughter at the moment. She hides it well; Misty and Spitfire probably have no idea how close she is to breaking out in hysterics.
>Waiter von Waiterson the Third finally -blesses- you with his presence. You're not in the mood to fuck with him but the two mares at your side speak louder than anything you could say.
 
 
>Tia: "Ahh, Mr. D’oeuvre, we have some guests with us this morning, I hope that isn't a problem?"
>Mr. D: "Not at all, princess. It's nice of you to introduce Anon to some members of the Wonderbolts. Have you got their autograph yet, Anon? I'm sure it must be hard for a -monkey- to socialize with members of such a high class."
>That does it.
"I fucked them both last night."
>Mr. D: "I... What?"
“I. FUCKED. Them. Both. Last. Night.”
>Waiter von Waiterson the Third’s jaw hangs agape. You weren’t going to give him any shit today but he fucking pushed it.
>You give him a few moments to collect himself, but he just stands there with the same dumb expression on his face, staring off into nowhere.
>You snap your fingers in front of his face,[spoiler] [/spoiler]“Are you going to take our orders? Or just stand there, looking stupid?”
>Mr. D: “I… uh…”
“Fried eggs and bacon.”
>He fumbles for his notepad before jotting down your order. The rest of the table place their orders and he leaves without another word.
>Mis: “You’re very rude to him, Anon.”
“Yeah? Well he deserves it, lousy prick. He’s the one who spread the rumor about me and Fleur.”
>Spits: “That you two are bucking?”
“YES… that one.”
>(Idle chat resumed until Waiter von Waiterson the Third returned with your food.)
>This…
>Bacon…
>Is an orgasm in your mouth.
>Maybe you should be horrible to Waiter von Waiterson the Third more often.
>Tia: “So Anon, did everyp0ny enjoy it?”
>Not falling for that again Celly.
“My Birthday? Ye…”
>Tia: “No, I mean the sex.”
>Well...
>This just got a lot more awkward.
>Celestia is looking at you all expectantly; you're going to have to get her back for this one.
 
 
>Spits: "It was just fine, princess."
>Tia: "The noises you were making last night say otherwise."
>Spitfire crosses her forelegs and looks away from you; she lets out a loud huff as she does.
>Mis: “It was great, princess. For all parties.”
>Where the fuck did that come from?
>It certainly shut Celestia up.
>Misty turns to face the two of you, “Shall we get going then?”
“Yeah... thank you for the meal, Celestia.”
Tia: “It was my pleasure, Anon. I thought it'd be nice to meet the two who kept me up last night.”
>She winks at you as you all vacate the table.
>Fucking Trolestia.
 
>You walk out into the gardens. Celestia was right: It does help you clear your thoughts.
>Misty sticks to your side the whole time whilst Spitfire hangs back a little with Maya keeping her company.
>Misty stops you. “Anon, I'm going to head off.”
“What? I thought we were going to talk about... you know.”
>Mis: “I'm not the one you need to talk to about it.” She glances back at Spitfire who is still catching up. “I'll see you around, yeah?”
>You give her a nod and she takes off into the sky.
>Spits: “Where's she going?”
“Shit to do, I suppose...”
>...
“Look Spits, I... last night... what I said at the table...”
>She gives you a rather confused look. “Just spit it out, Anon.”
“Look. What I'm trying to say is... I didn't mean what I said at the table, last night was amazing... I'm just not used to the idea of... you know.”
>Spits: “Bucking p0nies?”
“Yeah.”
>Spits: “Well maybe we could… because I really like you and…”
“Are you saying we could be fuck buddies?”
>Spits: “Uhhh… yeah, that’s what I was gonna say.”
 
 
“I thought you were just about to ask me to be your boyfriend or something. Could you imagine that? Us in a relationship?”
>Spitfire scoffs at the last bit. She looks rather annoyed actually.
>Spits: “What would be so wrong about that?”
“Come on Spits… We’re best friends. Best friends don’t date. I thought you only wanted to be fuck buddies?”
>Spits: “Yeah, I do… but…”
>You get down on one knee and grab where you’d imagine her shoulders to be, locking your eyes with her own.
“I’m only agreeing to this because I trust you Spitfire. There’s no other p0ny who I’d do this with. You’re my best friend and I wouldn’t want to fuck that up.”
>A smile creeps onto Spitfire’s face and you pull her into a hug. You place a small kiss on her cheek as she pulls her forelegs around you.
“So do you wanna do this?”
>Spits: “I… Yeah. I do.”
>Are you really doing this?
>…
>Yeah.
>You guess you are.
>And there’s no one else you’d rather it be.
>…
>Right?
END.