>"I'm Batsatyr!" Hope shouts
>"And this is my trusty sidekick...!"
>...
>"Dad."
>...
>"Dad, this is the part where you say who you are!"
>...
>"Dad! Come on! You're embarrassing me in front of the bad guys!"
>You sigh
"Fine."
>"Ahem" she clears her throat
>"I am Batsatyr! And this is my trusty sidekick...!"
"Robin..." >you grimace
>"Dad, louder!" she whispers
>You sigh again, hating everything
"And I'm Robin...!" >you say a little louder, still falling short at the end from your lack of enthusiasm
>"And together we're Batsatyr and Robin!!" she proclaims, flinging her cape back and pointing to the sky
>You bring your hand to your eyes, whether in an attempt to quell the headache you feel building, or to stop the tears you wish to cry from flowing
>You're just hoping this will end soon
-------
>Lyra looks on at her husband and daughter acting silly and stifles a giggle
>Oh, you are so never going to let him live this down
 
>"Oh yeah? Well I'd like to see you two keep up with the speed demon known as the Flash!"
>Across from our heroic duo, stood Scootaloo on her scooter, wearing a red cowl with two lightning bolts sticking out of either side
>She scrapes one of her hind hooves along the ground, ready to prove her speed
>Hope- err, you mean, Batsatyr (she won't let you address her as her secret identity in public), stares the filly down, ready to give chase
>It's an epic showdown, eyes firmly locked on each other, waiting for someone to make a move
>A bead of sweat trickles down Hope's brow
>Scootaloo licks her lips in anticipation
>Before long, the silence is broken as Hope poses a rather curious question
>"Wait, why is the Batsatyr fighting Flash? We're both superheros!"
>Scootaloo shrugs
>"You're the one who wanted to play superheroes. You didn't say I had to be a villain."
>"Well this isn't going to work! Superheros can't fight each other!"
"Actually, they do it quite a lot-"
>"Just a second, boy wonder!"
>Hearing yourself referred to in such a manner makes you die a little on the inside
>"You be Zoom!"
>"No way!" Scootaloo yells "I want to be the Flash!"
>"Well I'm the Batsatyr and there's no one else I can be!"
>"Why not be the Joker?"
>"That doesn't make any sense! Why would I be chasing you? I don't even look like the Joker!"
>"Well I don't look like Zoom."
>They stare angrily at each other
>"Why does it matter so much to you?!" Hope shouts
>"I dunno, why does it matter so much to YOU?!" Scoots retorts
>"Flash, you're a butthead!"
"Hope-"
>"Batsatyr!"
"Batsatyr..."
>"Oh yeah? How about you catch me first, before you start mouthing off, Batbrain?" Scootaloo sticks her tongue out
>Hope is positively fuming at this point
>"Later, wonder twins!" she turns around and speeds off on her scooter
>That... That hurt...
>Hope screams in frustration
>"Let's go after her, Robin!"
>Before you can protest, she's already shot off with those powerful legs of hers
>You sigh, watching them head into town
>You look over to your wife, standing on the porch and smirking at you
>"You better go catch them" she says, waving a hoof at you while barely concealing a giggle
>You glare at her, before setting off yourself with a rather forced jog
>It takes all your effort not to keep reaching down and pulling on the tights riding up your crotch
>You pant and huff as you run in to town behind, cape fluttering behind you, cheap mask threatening to slide lopsided on your face from the motion
>Several ponies watch you run by, not even trying to suppress their laughter
>If your face wasn't so red from the exertion you'd definitely be seen as blushing right now
>You're too old for this shit, and you're still pretty young
>You pause on a nearby fence to catch your breath
>Hope has slowed down and now looks back at you, pouting
>"Come on, dad! We're going to lose her!"
"What happened to me being the boy wonder?"
>The mare watering her garden on the other side of the fence chuckles at you, earning a glare
>You've resigned yourself to your fate
>Enough ponies saw you, it wouldn't be long before the entire town knew of it
>You sigh and move away from the fence, forcing your now burning legs to get moving again
>You groan as you make your way by your daughter's side
>The chase is on again
 
>You are now running through the center of Ponyville
>Up ahead, Scootaloo is swerving around any obstacles in her path and launching from any rise she can easily roll across
>As you pass by Sugarcube Corner, you see a pink mare make her way over
>Pinkie Pie comes right alongside the two of you, simply skipping at the pace of your full out jog
>You stare in disbelief, nearly tripping over a crate from not watching where you're going
>"Heya, Anon! Hi, Hope!" she says in her usual, cheery tone
>"We're not Anon or Hope!" your daughter replies
>"Ooh? Then who are you?"
>"We're Batsatyr and Robin! Fighters of crime!"
>"Oooooh! That sounds fun! Can I join?"
>"We are on a deadly chase, it is best if you kept safe, citizen!"
>"Aww, okies!" she turns her attention towards you
>"Wow, Robin! You sure look like you're sweating! A lot!"
>You're too busy trying to breathe to respond
>"You look like you could use a refreshment!"
>From out of nowhere, she pulls out a cup of punch and hands it to you
>You don't know how she just did that, how she does a lot of things, but you're grateful for the drink
>She stops her hopping and waves the two of you off
>"Have fun with your race, guys! Hope you win!"
>She giggles as she turns your daughter's name into a pun
>It's not that kind of race, Pinkie
>"Da- I mean Robin! Hand me your utility belt!"
>You take off the belt and hand it over to your daughter, curious as to what she's going to do with it
>From one of the pouches she pulls out a coil of rope and makes a loop in it
>She begins to swing it overhead
>"Cider taught me this one!"
>You make a move to stop her before she causes an accident, but you're too slow
>She sends the loop sailing
>It falls over Scootaloo, too large to capture the filly, but ends up snagging on the board under her
>The board gets yanked back and she goes tumbling off
>You damn near Matrix as it gets sent flying your way, cursing as you feel something pop in your back
>Thankfully, your little outburst got you no attention from either of the girls or confused onlookers
>Scootaloo hits the road hard and rolls into Bonbon, on her way back from grocery shopping
>The impact knocks Bonbon on her rear, causing her bags to fall open and the contents to spill on the ground
>Hope tries her best to stop her running and comes to a skid, eventually tilting and going head over hooves, landing in the pile of groceries next to her friend
>They both groan and rub their heads
>They look up at each other for a split second, before Hope tackles her
>"You're going down, villain!" Hope shouts as she pulls out a batarang
>It's cute how she tries to look as threatening as possible with a plastic toy and a crude, homemade outfit
>"I told you, I am NOT a villain!" Scoots tries to push away, hooves in Hope's face
>"Yes you are!"
>"NO I'M NOT!" Scoots screams, flinging your daughter backwards
>You'd step in to break it up, but you're currently holding your back and panting like a mad man
>You try anyway
>"Why won't you just accept the fact you're a villain? Criminal scum!"
>Scoots looks down at her, angry
>"Because the Flash is the fastest! He's a good guy that everybody loves! He's super awesome a-and he kicks tons of butt!"
>Hope just stares at her
>"So?"
>"So? SO?! So, I want to be just like that! Fast, awesome, good, kicks butt! Just like the Dash!"
>"I don't see why you can't be a fast, super cool villain that kicks butt! Except mine, y'know, cuz I'm the good guy."
>As Scoots growls, something she said dawns on Hope
>"Wait, did you just say 'the Dash?'" she raises an eyebrow, confused
>"Ye- N-No! I mean..."
>Scootaloo looks down
>"He just reminds me so much of Rainbow Dash, I, I wanted to be like that."
>Hope considers her words
>She never understood Scoot's fascination with the older mare
>Sure she was cool, but nowhere near as cool as her dad!
>But she remembers getting into a fight about that, too, and the talk she had with her father later on
>So she does her best to understand her friend's feelings
>"W-Well, I guess you can be the Flash. We just need to find someone willing to play the villain."
>"But who?" Scoots asks "No one else wants to play superhero with us! All the other kids think it's lame."
>She crosses her forelegs, irritated that the rest of the CMC could never get into it like she could
>"There's Pip" Hope suggests
>Scootaloo scoffs
>"He always comes dressed like a pirate! What are we, Justice League of the Caribbean?"
>"That's true" Hope giggles, soon growing into a laugh
>Scootaloo quickly joins her in the laughter
>You look at the scene unfurl before you, having kept quiet when you saw that the fighting was dying down
>Smiling, you slump to the ground, exhausted by the whole ordeal
>You look over to Bonbon, who looks back at you with a rather annoyed expression on her face
>You let out sigh
"Let me pick this up for you. I'll pay for whatever got ruined."
>You get up and start putting things back in their bags, looking over every so often to the two young girls sitting and giggling at each other
>They're covered in dirt from head to toe, smudges on their faces and hair messy
>But no matter how filthy, nothing can dampen the shine from their smiles
>You're done quickly, apologizing to Bonbon once again for the mishap
>You walk over to the girls and grin, taking off your mask
>They gasp when you reveal your secret identity
>You can't help but chuckle at the sight
"Come on, girls. I think it's about time we headed home."
>They both let out an "awwwww" at their play date coming to an end
"How about I buy the two of you ice cream?"
>They both perk up at the promise of free frozen goods
"Then we need to get you two cleaned up. You're filthy!"
>They turn and grin at each other, hopping up and running over to you
>"I want chocolate!"
>"I want vanilla!"
>"Ew, why vanilla?"
>"Why not vanilla?"
>It never ends with these two
>The three of you head off with smiles on your faces and tummies eagerly awaiting treats
>By this time you've completely forgotten you're in spandex
>The town won't forget, though
>They'll remind you every day for the next week, and so will your wife
-----------
 
>"Hey there" Lyra says one evening at home
>"I'll be Poison Ivy if you be the boy wonder" she winks at you
>Good God, Hope, what have you done?