>”Anoon.” Seriously? “Anooon.”
>Not again with this shit.
“Piss off Ramses, I’m tired of your shit!”
>”Hehehe, you kiss your mother with that mouth, or just your precious Dashie?”
>What?
 
>The voice lets out a bellowing laugh.
>”That got your attention well enough.”
“What the hell are you talking about?
>”Oh, but I think you do.” The voice lets out another chuckle.
>”What did you call it, a night to remember?”
>Jeez, how much did you drink last night?
>You remember the bar, some ponies, and a lot of alcohol…
>”Hmmm, do you really not remember?”
“Who are you? Show yourself!”
>The jimmies have been thoroughly rustled.
 
>”You don’t know me? I’m insulted.”
>A splitting headache erupts, your mind losing control.
>Your body feels constricted, claws brushing against your sides.
>”It’s only me…” The voice no more than a whisper.
>You can feel its warm breath on your ear.
>”Discord.”
 
>Your body springs to life, jolting upright.
>Sweat dripping down your face.
>Fuck your head hurts, but the voice… Discord’s voice… is gone.
>Just another dream Anon. Another terrible fucking dream.
 
>You feel around, trying to survey your surroundings.
>You’re in bed, the sheets sticking from your sweat.
>Ever so slightly you open your eyes, the sun’s ray forcing them back closed.
>Your first hangover, and by the way things are turning out, it’ll also be your last.
 
>You stumble out of bed, your body limp and fatigued.
>The window is just a few feet away, curtains wide open.
>The curtains scrapes, causing another barrage of pain.
>Seriously, fuck hangovers.
>You finally manage to unclench your eyes.
>The room is pitch black, the curtains finally serving a purpose.
>You hang your head noticing Johnson, your partner in crime, enjoying the fresh air.
>The bastard is always getting you into trouble.
 
>Let’s see… Time?
>11:36
>To hell with it, you can sleep in late for once.
>You make it back to bed, tripping over air a few times on the way back.
>Slipping under the soggy covers you curl up next to Dash.
>Enjoying a nice and quiet…
“Dash!”
 
>Wall and man are now one, or damn near close to it.
>Any more force and you might have had a new Anon shaped hole in the wall.
>Dash is still in bed, sleeping away, a little drool dropping onto your pillow.
>You’d d’aaw if you were sure you hadn’t taken a trip down animal lover lane.
>What did you get me into now Johson?
 
>You ease off the wall, kneeling next to Rainbow Dash.
“Dash.”
>Nothing.
“Dash.”
>You give a quick snap next to her ear.
>No Response…
“Don’t you ignore me…”
“DASH!”
>You give her a light smack on the head.
>We’ve got movement.
>She opens her eyes, giving you a smile.
>”Morning Anon.”
>You look her dead in the eye…
“Did I have sex with you last night?
 
>Poof! Wing boner.
“No! Did I or did I not, screw you?”
>”I thought th-“
“It’s a simple question. Yes or no!”
>Rainbow Dash remains silent, now somewhat glaring at you.
>You’ve seen this game play out before; you just hope it ends differently.
“Ok Dash look…”
>You calm down a bit, trying to settle things peacefully.
“I’m going to take a shower, and when I come back I want a straight answer.”
“Ok?”
>She just nods her head, giving you a look of contempt.
“Ok, I’ll be right back.”
 
>The water is extra cold today.
>Though you deserve as much.
>Snapping at Rainbow was completely uncalled for.
>She is probably just as confused as you.
>You scrub harder, trying to remove all the douche you have built up.
>Things were just starting to turn out well too.
>You get out and dry off, walking back to your bedroom.
 
>Rainbow seems to have made her way over to the window, unfazed by the light.
>Apparently ponies don’t have hangovers like humans do. Luck assholes.
>You quickly get dressed, tossing last night’s clothes in the hamper.
“Just start whenever you’re ready…”
>Sitting on the bed, you wait.
 
>She doesn’t even look at you as she speaks.
>”Yes.”
>Well there goes my weekend.
>You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out.
>What could you say?
>What CAN you say?
>You just shot your relationship with her in the knee.
>No apology can fix that.
 
“Do- Do you want something to eat?”
>”I think I’ll just wash up.”
>Yeah, you fucked up.
“Fair enough.”
>You stop in the doorway.
“Bathroom’s on the left.”
>”Thanks.” Not even trying to hold back the resentment in her voice.
 
>You pour yourself a bowl of Wonder Crisps.
>”The Breakfast of Champions” it boasts.
“I sure don’t feel like a champion.”
>You hear the water begin to run upstairs.
>Picking up a fresh towel, you climb up to the bathroom.
>A few sniffles and sobs manage to make it over the shower.
>I hope you’re proud of yourself Anon.
>You set down the towel and go back downstairs.
 
>The cereal tastes like shit, but you manage to get it down.
>Being an ass tends to put a bad taste in your mouth.
>You wash off the bowl, and place it with the others.
>Water finally stops running.
>You wait a few minutes for Rainbow to come on down.
>Hopefully you can think of something to say…
 
>Rainbow Dash comes bounding down the stairs.
>She gives you a glance before making her way to the door.
“Where you going?”
>”Where do you think?”
>She opens the door, only to have it slam closed.
“We need to talk.”
>She attempts to force the door open, but to no avail.
>”Open the door Anon!”
“Like I said,” sitting on the sofa, “we need to talk.”
>Her jimmies be a rustlin.
>”We have nothing to talk about, now let me out.”
>You shake your head.
“I know I’ve been an asshole.”
>”You’ve got that right.”
 
>This is going nowhere, but you have to try.
“I’m sorry, but you have to put yourself in my shoes.”
>”Buck you Anon. I thought we had fun last night.”
>Her eyes start getting watery.
>”And when you kissed me last night…”
>”I actually thought you liked me.”
>Step in Anon.
 
“I do like you Dash. You’re special to me.”
>You’ve got a bite, just reel her in.
“But you have to understand, I’ve never even been comfortable with other human girls.”
“And you’re not a regular girl to me.”
>Go Anon go.
“I wasn’t ready for this, not so soon.”
>Keep it up…
“I wanted this to be special, not just for me, but for you as well.”
 
>You open the door.
“If you want to go, then fine.”
“I just needed to let you know where I stand.”
>You put your head down, content with your speech.
>The door clicks closed, leaving just you and your thoughts.
“Cya Dash.”
>So this is what it feels like to lose something you love.
>A piece of you… gone…
>”I’m not going anywhere,” a familiar Pegasus sitting next to you.
>Fucking Troll Dash.
 
>”I guess I’m sorry about how I acted as well.” She wraps a hoof around you,
>”I shouldn’t have forced myself on you.”
“No no, it’s my fault. We were both pretty hammered; I just kept egging you on.”
>”Maybe YOU were hammered, but I was still going strong.”
“Pfft, whatever. How about lunch at the café my treat?
>”I guess I can stand to be around you a little longer.”
>She gives you a smack across the face.
>Everything went better than expected.
 
>God that sun is bright.
>You’ve still got a hangover, but it seems to have quieted down for now.
”Hey Dash, can I ask you a question?”
>”Shoot.”
“Promise not to laugh?”
>”Jeez, just spit it out.”
>You take a deep breathe.
“How was I?”
>She stares at you, cheeks puffed to full puffiness.
>She’s trying not to laugh.
>She’s losing.
“Oh come on!”
>Gone.
>”Bwahahahahaaaaa. Really Anon?”
>Your not sure how she can stay flying while laughing like that.
 
>”Boy Anon, they sure don’t make ‘em like you anymore?”
>You think for a second.
“So was that your answer?”
>Rainbow Dash breaks out in another burst of laughter.
>Turns out you should’ve been a comedian.
>”You were alright I guess, maybe not the best,” giving you a wink.
>”But you’re definitely in the top 5.”
“Top 5? How many stallions have you been with exactly?”
>You both arrive at the café, she takes a seat and extends a rather creepy smile.
>”Who said they were stallions?”
>Bitches be creepy yo.
 
>The rest of lunch was pretty uneventful, though the patrons gave you and Dash some pretty strange looks.
>Every time you looked at them they just looked back away.
>Fucking ponies.
>You hand over some bits, catching a few more glances from the other ponies.
>The fuck is wrong with them?
“HEY!” God dammit Ninja Pinkie!
 
>”Hey Pinkie.” She doesn’t even flinch at Pinkie’s appearance, something you will never understand.
“Hello Pinkie Pie.”
>”Ooh aren’t you two just so cute together!” What?
>”I always knew you would come around Anon. You know what this means…”
“Actually, Pinkie, I don’t.”
>”Me either. What in Equestria on are you on about?”
“The paper silly! Didn’t you see?”
>Pinkie pulls out a newspaper out of thin air, throwing it on the table.
>“See?
 
>‘Anon’s Dash of Love’
>’Love is in the air at The Broken Record as Ponyville’s own Rainbow Dash and new resident, Anon, were seen sharing a romantic evening before retreating back home for a mysterious rendezvous. Will their physical differences be enough to stop the power of love?’
>”How the in hay did they get these?”
>”They just followed you around and took a photo silly. How else do people get pictures?”
>”Pinkie, how many copies are there of this?”
>”Dunno, the paper’s been printing it out all day.”
>”Anon, we have to get the rest of these before- the- Anon? You ok?”
 
“Oh me? I’m fine.”
>Your eye begins to twitch, your body shaking slightly.
”Just you know… rusted jimmies is all…”
“I’ll be going for a walk now.
>”This is a bit more-“
“Going For A Walk! Be Back Maybe.”
>You walk away, body convulsing as it tries to contain your jimmies.
>Hours pass…
>Just a barren field and the night sky.
>You pretty sure you’re out of earshot of Ponyville.
“KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!“
 
>You release your very jimmies into the sky!
“How. In. The. FUCK!”
“ONE FUCKING DAY! GOD DAMNIT!”
>Cursing just makes you angrier.
”Ffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-“
>”ENOUGH!”
>A group of humanoid dogs burrow out of the ground, surrounding you.
>”You too loud! You leave or Diamond Dogs MAKE YOU!”
“Make me faggot!”
 
>”Graaah!” Your attackers scream as they charge you.
>You raise your hands, imagining them wrapped around one of the dogs.
“Fuck you too.”
>One of the dogs collapses, it whimpering on the ground.
>Concentrate, make it suffer.
>You can hear its bones cracking at your will. Its eyes bulge as you force all the blood into its brain.
>One of the free dogs claws at your face before you can finish it off. He’ll have to wait.
 
>You step back, increasing the distance between you and them, if only for a second.
>You raise a group of shields, advancing on their position.
“Go time!”
>You drive your knee into the closest dog’s face, his nose gushing a torrent of blood.
>Keeping momentum, you leap frog over his head, planting your fist across his comrade’s neck.
>You notice several mutts make their way out of the ground, reinforcing their masters.
“More toys…”
>At this point you’re running on pure rage, abandoning all reason, just intent on ruining someone else’s day.
 
>You summon a few green orbs, not unlike those used by Twilight, just more dangerous.
>Most of the mutts dodge the first pair you throw, a few weren’t so lucky, collapsing in a heap of seared flesh.
>You grab another orb with your hand, dogs only seconds from melee range.
“RAAAA!”
>You manage to strike a mutt in the belly, focusing the orbs energy on that spot.
>Its body collapses on you, intestines spewing on your jeans.
“This was a gift!”
>You telepathically throw its corpse at an oncoming mutt, bouncing atop your feet ready to continue the fight.
 
>A hidden mutt manages to clasp on your back, biting down on your exposed neck.
>Reaching back, you gouge at its eyes with your fingers, using the sockets as leverage to throw him over you.
>You cover the wound with your hand, unable to stop the flux of blood.
>Numerous dogs converge on you, taking advantage of your situation.
>Desperately, you launch your shields at them, turning the shields into makeshift cleavers.
>The majority drop, nothing more than a pile of sliced meat now while the rest flee back down from whence they came.
 
>You limp back over to your original victim, still squealing from its broken bones.
“Didn’t th- *cough cough* think I’d forgot about you did you?
>You hack up some blood, infringing your speech.
“You should of- *cough cough* stayed in your- *cough* fucking hole.”
>”Please, ah spare me please.”
“No.”
>”Anon!” The mane 6, fast on approach, shouts at you, trying to get your attention.
>Not this time. Not this time.
 
>You raise your fist in the air, permeated with the anger and chaos you possess.
>”Anon wait!”
>You turn your head, noticing too late the orb that approached.
“Fuck.”
>The attack was only meant to stun you, but the loss of blood and sudden trauma cause you to gradually lose consciousness.
>”Get out of here,” Twilight sparing the Diamond Dog from his fate.
>You can hear the others mutter to each other, all just gibberish to you.
“You- *cough cough* do care…”
>Blackness. Peaceful blackness.
 
 
>”Hello Anon….”