>”So Anon- Your name’s Anon right? How do you like Ponyville? Met any friends yet? Am I your friend yet?”
>Please god kill me now.
>Oh boy the others are looking at you.
>Laugh it up assholes, they’ll get theirs.
>”You’re going to love living with me. We can eat cupcakes, have parties, stay up till the sunrises, the works!”
“I don’t think that’s-“
>”Hiya Copper, nice seeing you.”
>He grunts, turning away in disgust.
 
>She just laughs, “Old Copper, still the grouch.”
>Another p0ny with a grudge, how fun.
>”Anyways, what were you saying?”
“Umm, I don’t think it’s such a great idea.”
>She stops, “What do you mean by that?”
“I need my rest. I can’t be off partying about in my state.”
>”That’s all? Why didn’t you just say so?”
>She giggles playfully, “I’ll just bring the party to us.”
>Oh boy…
 
>She turns down the street.
>”There it is, home sweet home.”
>Mary mother of god. It really is made of sweets.
>She speeds down the road, dirt picking up behind you, choking the passersby.
>”Sugarcube Corner is the best shop in Ponyville, plus I get to live there, which makes it even better.”
>Life force draining…
>She says hello to every-0ny she passes, spitting out greetings faster than you can comprehend.
>This girl is crazy. How the hell can anyone stand her?
>Who the fuck is she?
 
>She kicks open the door.
>Two ponies stand behind the counter.
>”Hi Mr. and Mrs. Cake. This is Anon, he’s going to be staying in my room for a while okay? Great, bye.”
>She clumsily drags you up the stairs.
>Each step tosses you about as you clamor just to stay on.
>You hold on for dear life, not wanting to endure another tragic fall.
>Is she actively trying to get you hurt again?
>Finally up the stairs she drags you into what you can only imagine to be her room.
 
>She shuts the door, her air deflating with a sigh.
>It’s like all her energy just… left.
>She looks at you, her eyes showing her fatigue.
>”Well here we are.”
>Her voice is sullen, nothing like it was before.
>”This is my bedroom,” she shows off with her hooves.
>”Down the hall to the left is the bathroom. I assume I’m going to have to help you.”
>You nod, the pink p0ny sighing once more.
>”Downstairs is the kitchen. I’ll be sure to grab you some appropriate food whenever I can.”
“Pinkie?”
>”Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, enjoy your stay.”
 
>She trots over to her bed, lying down on the cushioned surface.
“Are um- you alright?”
>“I’m fine Anon. Fine and dandy.”
>Her voice sounds contrary. You don’t get this p0ny.
“You don’t get a lot of time alone do you?”
>”Just enough. Just enough…”
>Holy shit she’s so depressing,
>She rolls up onto her hooves.
>”Set your stuff down, we have a party to set up.”
 
>She leads you back out of the room and downstairs.
>She stops at the bottom, breathing a sigh before perking up just as she was before.
>Hopping about, she takes you back to the Cakes, apparently the owners of this establishment.
>”Hello there Pinkie, nice to see you up and about as usual.”
>”Thank ya Mr. Cake. I’m planning a party again tonight, can I-?
>”Anything for you Pinkie.”
>”You’re just the best, mind watching Anon for me? I’m going to grab some stuff out of the back.”
>”Of course Pinkie.”
>You can’t understand this girl.
 
>One minute she’s happy, the next she’s a depressing sod, and then she’s perky again.
>Does she have a mental disorder or something?
>You almost don’t notice the Cake’s staring at you.
“Something you want?”
>”Us? Nooo. We’re great.”
“Ahuuu? Well if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you want to get something off your chest.”
>”Just perfect,” Mr. Cake mutters through clenched teeth.
“For fuck’s sake dude, don’t be a pussy.”
>Mrs. Cake nudges at her husband, who stands up straight in response.
 
>”Pinkie might have brought you in due to her good nature, but don’t think we don’t know what you’re up to.”
“Up to? I’m a bit lost here…”
>”Pinkie’s special to this town. You keep your twisted thoughts out of her head.”
“Twisted thoughts? The fuck do you think I am? I’m just trying to get better.”
>”I’m sure you are. For the record, we’ll be keeping out eye on you.”
>Something about that’s just downright unsettling.
>”Anoooon!” Pinkie booms from the back, “Can you help me in here?”
>If it means you can leave Mr. and Mrs. Conspiracy Theorist here then you’d be more than happy to.
>It takes a bit, but you manage to move your wheel chair into the kitchen.
 
>Flour coats the walls and countertops.
>You’re not sure what you expected; this place is a bakery after all.
>Pinkie’s off to the side, mixing away at some concoction humming a tune.
>You finally reach her, your arms already sore and exhausted.
“What’d you need?”
>”Can you stir this for me?”
“My arms are extremely weak, I don’t think I can-“
>”Pleeeeeease?”
>You can’t resist that smile.
“Hand me the bowl.”
 
>Damn it hurts.
>You’re already exhausted from before, and now this…
>Add another month to my recovery why don’t you.
>”We’re going to have so much fun together Anon, just you wait.”
>But boy can you.
“Hey Pinkie. Can I ask you something?”
>”Shoot.”
“Before- when we went upstairs. Something happened…”
>”Oh that! It’s perfectly normal. It gives me time to relax.”
 
“You call that normal? You were a completely different person.”
>”You can’t be two people silly. That’s just crazy talk.”
“But- you- I… Fuck it.”
>”Okie Dokie, frosting?”
>You can’t object before she shoves a hoof in your mouth.
>Bite down on that… Holy shit. This is good frosting.
>It tingles the bottom of your tongue in ways you couldn’t imagine.
>She removes her hoof, the fresh air only accentuating the flavor.
>”Well?”
>You swallow it down, trying to avoid eye contact.
“It’s good.”
 
>Her bottomless joy keeps you on your toes, so to speak.
>Pinkie is… eccentric.
>She’s like nobody you’ve met before.
>Her laugh is borderline infectious, and that smile…
>Don’t even get started on her smile.
>Time just seems to glide by while you’re with her.
>Maybe this won’t be as bad as you thought.
>”Can you pass the blender?”
“Yes ma’am.”
 
>By the time you finish your little cooking spree, you’re covered head to toe in flour, sugar and frosting.
>She puts the finishing touches on her latest conquest, a quadruple layered red velvet cake.
>You’re putting on weight just by being near it.
>You reach out to take a slice, only for her to slap you away.
>”Not until the party silly.”
“But I-“
>”No buts, wait until the party.”
“Alright,” You can get yours later.
 
>It’s not like there’s a lack of goodies to try.
>You look at the clock, eight 0’ clock.
“So when is this party supposed to start?”
>She gasps when she sees the time, “We don’t have time to waste!”
>She pulls you into the front room, stringing up decorations wherever she could.
>The Cake’s seem to have skedaddled.
>Partly, you don’t blame them; if things go south it’d be smart to be as far away as possible.
>Besides, they already made it clear you’re presence is barely tolerated.
>Pinkie hands you a bushel of ribbons, instructing you to set them up.
 
“I suppose you’re a bit late on the prep work?”
>”It’s not a problem, Pinkie is never late for a party.”
“How exactly did you get to send out invitations? I’ve been with you all day.”
>”I sent them out the day Twilight told me you’d be staying with me.”
“And when was that exactly?”
>”Last week.”
“She didn’t give you much of a window.”
>”I don’t dilly dally,” she says with that smile.
>You keep your own off your face, focusing on the decorations.
 
>There’s a knock at the door, Pinkie Pie bouncing over and opening it.
>A fair amount of ponies start pouring in of all varieties.
>You notice Fluttershy and Twilight come in, along with Applejack and some others.
>The majority of the ponies either ignore you or flat out refuse to make eye contact.
>You’re not sure what you expected, you managed to scar at least four ponies in the first night you were here.
>They’re not just going to forget about that.
>”Something troubling you Anon?”
>You look to Fluttershy and shake your head.
>”You look kind of down,” Twilight joins in.
 
“I just don’t see the point.”
>”The point of what?”
“Why these p0nies even decided to come. They knew I was going to be here, so why bother?”
>”Why do you think they came?”
“Because they like Pinkie more than they hate me, but that’s just a guess.”
>”And chances are you’d be right.”
“That comforting.”
>”Sarcasm won’t make you feel better.”
“And neither will a party.”
 
>”Anon now, Pinkie put a lot of work into this. Would you just up and leave?”
>A couple months ago you wouldn’t waste a second, but now…
>She spent a lot of her time for you didn’t she?
“I guess not.”
>You force a smile on your face.
“Go on and enjoy yourselves. I’ll be alright by myself.”
>”If you say so.”
>They mingle with the other guests, talking about who knows what.
>You move over to the punch table, getting a cup for yourself.
 
>Sweet and fruity, exactly the type of drink that makes you a fag.
>Fuck it, it’s a party.
>You finish up your cup and toss it in the wastebin.
>”Whooops.”
>Some asshole spills his drink all over you.
>”Sorry dude. I slipped.”
>That mother fucker.
“Slipped my ass! You did that on purpose.”
>”Caught me there.”
 
>He laughs smugly with his buddies, all you can do is glare at them.
>”You going to do something about it, let’s just walk outsi- Oh wait you can’t now can you.”
>Rage increasing…
>By now the party has come to a standstill as all eyes are trained on your little scene.
>”He’s so scared he can’t move. Isn’t that right?”
“I will hurt you…”
>”Good luck with that freak. Just roll on home and leave our town.”
“Too far you piece of shit.”
 
>You lunge forwards fist first, the stallion backing out of the way.
>You hit the floor, scrambling towards him, fueled by your rage.
>”Can’t even land a punch, and you call yourself a hero.”
>The laughs… blood will flow.
>You try to stand, falling flat on your face.
>”Come on Anon. Show me what you’re made of.”
>A couple hooves grab your sides, pulling you back onto your wheelchair.
>Pinkie Pie gets in between the two of you.
>”Just laugh it off Anon.”
 
“I’ll laugh over his grave!”
>She keeps you still, “It’s alright Anon, just laugh it off.”
>There’s no point in struggling, you can barely move by yourself.
>”Talked down by a mare? Anyone else going to stand up for this freak?”
>”Eeeeyup.”
>A large crimson stallion steps out from the crowd.
>”I think it’d be best if you up and leave now, ya hear?”
>The stallions back away a bit, the intimidating stallion putting a number on them.
>”He’s not worth the effort anyways…”
>They take their leave, “Party’s over everyp0ny,” he says in his deep voice, “It’s time to head on home.”
 
>They shuffle out the door, only a couple left.
>”Anon…”
“I’m fine…”
>But you aren’t. You’re the opposite of fine.
>The stallion walks up to Applejack, “We’d best be going now.”
“Thank you. I…”
>He nods, the two of them leaving.
“I’m going to go take a shower now.”
>Pinkie just nods, “Do you guys mind-“
>”We’ll clean things up for you.”
>”Thanks girls.”
 
>She takes you upstairs, carefully this time.
>You take off your patient’s clothes, the flour and punch coating it in a doughy mixture.
>There are no wise cracks this time, no humorous one-shots.
>”I told you to laugh it off.”
>She pulls you into the bath, rubbing soap onto your back.
>She says it like it’s nothing.
“It’s not that easy. I’m not like you.”
>”And you think it’s easy for me?”
>You look back to her, Pinkie having reverted back to her depressing form.
“I didn’t-“
>”Well it’s not.”
 
>You can see the tears welling in her eyes.
>”I try to make everyp0ny happy, but it doesn’t always work. I know they laugh at me sometimes, and I just have to laugh with them.”
“I- I didn’t know.”
>This is making you feel like shit.
>”It takes its toll on you, you just have to stay strong.”
>You look down, Pinkie resting her head on your back.
>”Will you try?”
“I don’t know…”
>”If not for yourself, then for me?”
>All that built-up pain…
“I’ll try.”
 
>There’s that smile.
>She finishes rinsing the frosting off of you, turning off the shower and reclothing you.
>She rolls you into her room, throwing back the covers on her bed.
“So where will I be sleeping? The couch is good for me, hell even the-“
>”Don’t be silly Anon, you’re be sleeping with me.”
>The awkward train just left the station.
“Umm, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
>”Don’t make this weird.”
“I don’t think it could get any weirder.”
>She just rolls her eyes and pushes you to the bedside.
 
>”I’m not going to let you sleep on the couch, so just- get- up.”
>She pushes you onto the bed, sliding your legs over.
“This is… are you sure? I don’t mind-“
>”Don’t piss me off Anon.”
“Done.”
>She smiles, her hair puffing out slightly.
>Throwing the blanket overtop you both, she closes her eyes.
>You can feel her warmth next to you.
>It’s strange, but… welcoming.
>You don’t find yourself minding this.
 
“Pinkie Pie?”
>”Yes?”
“How do you do it? Stay happy all the time that is.”
>”I think of something I like, and don’t let go.”
“And if you do?”
>”Then you let it go and hope it comes back.”
“Just like that.”
>”Just like that.”
>She sighs, wrapping herself up with a blanket.
>”Get some rest. We’re having your afterparty tomorrow.”
>You can’t wait.
 
>You just lie in bed, awaiting your nightly visitor.
>Hours tick by.
>You keep your ears peeled for the beat of wings or some such thing.
>No noises come to greet you that night.
>Shame, you were looking forward to laying into that bastard.
>You close your eyes, fixating your mind on something else.
>Manticores jumping the fence always worked.
>You picture it in your head, the herd scouring the plain.
>The spot the fence and- fuck it you’re bored…
 
>You awaken to the chirping of birds.
>Yawning, you move to get out of bed, finding it difficult to move.
>You soon see why.
>Pinkie seems to have latched onto your body her sleep.
>Her nose is nuzzled into your chest, her heart beat vibrating through your arm.
>You attempt to free yourself, though ultimately succumbing to the d’aww factor.
>How could you get away from that?
>You lie there with her until she wakes.
 
>She lets out a loud yawn, tightening her grip on your chest.
>Her eyes pop open, yours connecting with hers.
“Nice to see you awake.”
>She retracts her limbs and scoots back, “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
>You think she blushed, but it’s impossible to tell with her pink hide.
>Does she- Do you…
>No. Get your head in the game Anon. It’s just another day.
>That’s it alright, another day.
 
>Pinkie spent the following days delivering invitations.
>After that mess up you had on your first night she made sure to limit those who were invited.
>No one wanted to have another incident.
>The date was set for the end of the month, much to Pinkie’s dismay.
>You reasoned that it would give you both adequate time to prepare.
>Though in reality you just wanted time to rest.
>Funny part was, as time went on.
>Rest was the last thing you wanted to do.
 
>Pinkie and you got along miraculously.
>Whenever you weren’t baking or sleeping, the two of you would just talk to each other.
>Twilight tried to do that, but it never worked out.
>But Pinkie? She could make you talk about almost anything. Almost.
>You pick up the bowl, stirring the contents gingerly.
“How many cups of sugar do we put in this?”
>”Just one.”
“Two it is.”
>The two of you laugh, a tear coming to your eye.
>Fuck yourself with a cactus if this isn’t one of the best moments of your life.
 
>You look back into the bowl, a pair of purple eyes staring back at you.
“Pinkie?! Pinkie?!?!”
>The creature lunges at you causing you to roll backwards in your chair.
>You desperately guard your face only for it to slip right through.
>”Anon calm down.”
“It’s biting me! It’s biting… me?”
>You stop your squirming, noting the lack of pain.
>Pinkie stifles another laugh.
>”Oh Anon, you’re so crazy.”
 
“What the fuck was that?”
>”Oh that’s just Gummy. He’s harmless.”
“That thing tried to kill me!”
>”Don’t be like that, he’s just playing is all, isn’t that right?”
>The small creature rolls down your arm, nibbling at your finger tip.
>He’s a baby alligator, and from the feel of it he doesn’t have any teeth.
>Must be why she calls him Gummy.
>You chuckle as he moves from one finger to the next, coating your hand with his saliva.
>”Grotty. You can’t bake like that.”
”Guess I need to wash my hands huh?”
 
>She points to your body.
>”Hands are the least of your problems.”
>Thanks to Gummy’s little sneak attack your covered in dough again.
“Can’t help you like this now can I?”
>”No sir you can’t. Let’s get you washed up.”
>She pulls you upstairs, the Cakes glaring at you on the way up.
>You make sure to give them the finger, for good measure of course.
>She tosses you into the shower, immediately rinsing you off.
>You make sure to get your own cheap shots in as well.
>It isn’t long before the two of you are giggling like children.
 
>You rest your back against the wall, taking a deep breathe between bursts of laughter.
“I haven’t felt this way since…”
>Your laughing comes to an end as you finish your thought.
>You never felt this way before.
>Fuck, when did you become such a depressing sod.
>”Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, it’s ok.”
>”You know that I’m here for you right?”
>You just smile and place a hand on her shoulder.
“I know.”
 
>Time just seems to fly on by.
>Every day gets shorter, every hour that much quicker.
>There just isn’t enough time in the day for all the things you want to do.
>You try to spend as much time alone with her as you can.
>Only then does she reveal her true colors, the insecure p0ny beneath.
>Ever since you arrived you’ve seen less and less of her.
>You chalk it up to her getting to know you.
>But you can’t help but feel that you’re not the only one recovering.
 
>Before you know it the end of the month is up.
>The voices from downstairs cue the inevitable.
>Tonight would be the last night you spent with Pinkie Pie.
>It brings more than a little sadness to think that you had to go.
>Pinkie picks up on this, she’s been good at doing that lately.
>”It’s not like you’ll be gone forever.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
>If only she knew.
 
>She plops you down the stairs, the room going quiet as you make your entrance.
>A couple raise their glasses in acknowledgement before returning to their peers.
>You move over to the red stallion from before.
>Pinkie doesn’t need to help push you along anymore, as enough strength has returned to your arms to enable you to move on your own.
>All that mixing really did help you recover after all.
>He nods at you as you get closer.
“Nice to see you again.”
>”Eeeyup.”
 
“I never did get to properly thank you for helping me out before.”
>”Eeeyup.”
>You cock your brow questionably.
“You don’t talk a lot do you?”
>”Nnnope.”
>You chuckle to yourself.
“Thought so.”
>You grab a cup of punch, sipping at the juice.
 
“I didn’t catch your name.”
>”Name’s Big Macintosh, but ya can just call me Big Mac.”
>You finish your drink, giving off an audible exhale.
“Well then. Nice to see you again Big Mac.”
>You say your goodbyes and move on to the buffet table.
>You’re eager to try the fruits of your labor.
>You pick up one treat in particular, a glazed vanilla cupcake with raspberry filling.
>It was the first one you made all by yourself.
>You sink your teeth into your creation, the explosion of flavor almost making you cream yourself.
 
>”It’s that good huh?”
>Your eyes go wide at that voice.
>”I didn’t expect you to be so lively with the screens I saw. Can’t win them all I suppose.”
>The cupcake loses its flavor as you swallow.
“Nurse Redheart.”
>”Oh so you do remember me. How grand.”
“What do you want?”
>”Oh nothing. Enjoy your cupcake?”
 
>OH shit what’d she do to it!?
>She laughs heartily, “Exactly the reaction I was looking for.”
>That bi- Calm down, remember what Pinkie said.
>You begin to laugh along with her, cutting her off.
>”Why are you laughing?”
“It’s funny. Why else would I laugh?”
>”But I-“
“It’s cute, really it is. Maybe one day you’ll grow out of it.”
>You roll away from her, confident in how you handled yourself.
 
>Pinkie wraps her hoof around you.
>”I’m happy about how you acted there.”
“I figured I’d give it a shot. You can’t take all the work.”
>You score the rest of your cupcake in her mouth, the mare eagerly accepting the treat.
>She swallows and licks her lips, “Hmmmm tasty! You’re almost as good as me.”
“Almost.”
>That smile of hers…
>You can’t help but smile back.
 
>The party rages on for some hours.
>Ultimately though, it’s the slow and steady who win the race.
>Unless you’re Pinkie though, she always wins.
>The Cakes help the tired p0nies out the door, leaving only a few left.
>Twilight’s talking to another unicorn by the door while you help Pinkie clean up.
>”So did you enjoy your party Anon?”
“Depends, did you?”
>”Only if you did.”
“Then I guess we’re at a stand still. We’ll have to see next time.”
>”I’ll hold you to that.”
 
>The pair of unicorns approaches you, Pinkie Pie disappearing as per usual.
>”So this is the gentlemen you told me about?”
>”Yes, he’s a bit overbearing, but I think you can handle him.”
“I am right here you know?”
>You laugh as they try to apologize.
“It’s alright, just don’t make things weird.”
>”Are you alright Anon? You seem a bit-“
“What? I feel great, like I could run a marathon. So to speak…”
>You catch her off guard once more, the mare stumbling on her words.
 
>”Well- This is my friend Rarity.”
“Sup.”
>”And this is Anon.”
>”Charmed.”
>You can sense some inner hostility, but nothing you haven’t seen before.
“I presume I’ll be staying with you next?”
>”That’d be correct.”
“So, tomorrow morning you can pick me up. What time sounds reasonable to you?”
>”Actually, you’ll be going with her tonight.”
“Tonight? But I thought…”
 
>”Rarity works in the morning, so we planned for you to leave with her tonight.”
>But you looked forward to that one last night here.
“There has to be some way…”
>”Did you want to stay? If you really want to-“
>Listen to yourself Anon. Remember who you are.
>Who you are… Or is it who you were?
>Dammit this is confusing…
>You shake your head.
“Whatever works for you.”
 
>”Good,” Twilight says, “I’ll go get your stuff.”
>”We should probably wait outside.”
“Yeah ok.”
>You roll out the door, the cold air hitting you like a brick wall.
>”I don’t know how the others treated you, but in my house there are some rules to be followed.”
>And here we go…
>You tune her out, focusing on the pleasant breeze.
>The familiar heat of the bakery is absent outside the walls.
>You’re not sure if any other place will quite match up.
 
>Twilight and Pinkie emerge from the door, Twilight plopping the bag in your lap.
>”Well I better be headed home. I shouldn’t leave Spike alone for very long.”
>She trots off after saying her goodbyes.
>”We best be going as well Anon, come.”
“Give me a second alright.”
>You roll next to Pinkie, her hair slightly deflated.
“I wis-“
>She wraps her hooves around you.
>”I know Anon.”
>You hug her back, enjoying the rhythm of her heartbeat.
 
>”So what did you think of the party?”
>You pull back, a grin swept across your face.
“Depends on you.”
>”Depends on you.”
>Your laugh is soft and tender, mirroring her own.
“Let’s do this again sometime.”
>”And I’ll hold you to that.”
>You roll down the street beside Rarity.
>You look back, Pinkie waving one last time.