>You've been gone on a job for a few weeks.
>Come home late at night.
>Hear something as you put suitcase inside.
>An animal under the stairs.
>Get flashlight...baseball bat.
>Sneak up.
>It's just a goddamn fluffy pony.
>Stupid animal is fast asleep...didn't even hear you coming.
>You could bash its brains in right now.
>Then you'd have to clean it up.
>Too tired...wait until morning.
 
>Wake up late.
>Get coffee, remember your fluffy problem under the steps.
>You don't hate fluffy ponies.
>You just don't want one living under the steps.
>Knocking over garbage cans...shitting.
>Maybe you can scare it away.
>Fetch a garden rake from the shed.
>Not a pussy leaf rake.
>No...the kind with sharp steel tines.
>Move silently.
>Hear it babbling stupidly, it's a female.
>Who is it talking to?
>You only saw one last night.
>Fluffy ponies are dumb enough to carry on conversations with rocks.
>She's still under the steps.
>Sneak up from behind.
>Snag her with the rake.
>Fluffy screams in terror but you've got her.
>Roll her out into the grass.
>Bleeding fluffy pony cries for its life.
>"Whaaa! Munsta pwease nu huwt fwuffy!"
>She hugs two terrified foals to her fluff.
>Wait...what's this?
>One is pure white.
>White fluff, white tail, white mane.
>Wow that's rare.
>Grab the foal by its mane.
>It screams...the mother fights to hang on.
>"NUUU! Dun huwt babbee! Pwease!"
>Quick kick to the face shuts her up.
>Is the foal an albino?
>Its eyes are clenched shut as it cries and thrashes.
>Force one eye-lid open.
>Deep blue eyes, definately not an albino.
>You rub the squirming foal's head.
>There's a nub of a horn.
>Hot damn...pure white unicorn.
>This is worth some money.
>Check the other foal.
>No luck...ordinary blue earth fluffy.
>Mother hugs her remaining foal tight.
>"Pwease, pwease gif babee back! Fwuffy wuv babee!"
>No chance of that happening.
>This foal is worth some serious cash.
>What about the mother?
>If you leave her alive she'll just hang around begging for her baby.
>Nope...she's got to go.
>A quick slam with the rake shuts her up forever.
>The blue foal clings to her fluff and bawls.
>Pick them both up, toss them in the garbage can.
>Slam the lid on tight.
>You can barely hear the useless blue foal's pitiful crying.
>Several months later.
>Your white unicorn has adapted quickly to being a pet fluffy.
>She was terrified of you at first.
>Once she began to associate you with food & safety she forgot her old life.
>You did your research online.
>You could sell her, but the real money is in foals.
>A fluffy mare can reliably pump out 4-5 litters a year.
>Mating her with a pure white stud will be costly, but you'll manage.
>First she needs some blue ribbons.
>Enter her in local & state fluffy pony shows.
>She's a born champion.
>She wins the filly categories easily.
>As she gets older she wins the juvenile division.
>Now she's an adult and she's still collecting blue ribbons.
>Snowflake loves the show-pony life.
>She takes to it like one of those disgusting pageant kids.
>Your fluffy pony has a superior attitude, and looks down on "ugwy" fluffies.
>"Snowfwake am pwettiest fwuffy."
>It's not a question...she honestly feels that way.
>Snowflake plays well with other fluffies,
>As long as they acknowledge she's the prettiest.
>If they argue, she gets downright nasty.
>Snowflake can reduce another fluffy to miserable tears in seconds.
>She's a true prima-donna bitch.
>Other owners are already asking you when her first litter of foals will arrive.
>At home fluffy has plenty of room to play.
>Big safe-room...fenced in yard.
>You control her diet strictly.
>This keeps her turds regular & solid, so poop stains do not mar her fluff.
>Like any fluffy she whines for "sketties."
>She can have the pasta, but no sauce.
"The sauce might stain your pretty fluff."
>Snowflake is terrified of this.
>"Nuu daddee! Fwuffy nu wan' pwetty fwuff diwty!"
>Being a pretty fluffy is the most important thing in her world.
 
>One day.
>Fluffy is playing in the yard.
>You are inside.
>The back yard is safe, and Snowflake would never roll in the grass for fear of stains.
>You listen to her giggle as she rolls her ball.
>"Hewwo, wan' pway wif fwuffy?"
>What? Did a stray sneak thru the fence?
>Better not be a horny stallion.
>You take a peek.
>Black fluffy with a white streak.
>Ohshit.mp3
>You rush to the door just in time to hear Snowflake shriek.
>The skunk scurries away, back thru the hole in your fence.
>Fluffy got sprayed right in the face.
>"WHHHHAAAAA! Daddee hewp fwuffy! Nu smewl pwetty!"
>Fuck...that's an understatement.
>You're not letting her in the house smelling like that.
>Snowflake scratches at the door, crying her eyes out.
>"Fwuffy wan' inside! Pwease huggies! Hewp!"
>Not a chance.
>You don't even open the door.
>Get the travel carrier.
>No, she's not going in the car smelling like this.
>Carefully bring it outside...not letting fluffy in.
>She sits on her rump, bawling and waving her arms for hugs.
>Carefully pick her up and put her in the carrier.
>"Nu smewl pwetty! Wan' huggies!"
>She'll be miserable in there, but at least she'll be safe.
>You need to go get the special skunk shampoo.
>The store doesn't carry skunk shampoo for fluffy ponies.
>Gonna have to use the old fashioned solution.
>Buy several large cans of tomato juice.
 
>Snowflake is still crying her lungs out when you return home.
>Her face fluff is totally soaked with tears.
>"Why d-daddee weave f-f-fwuffy? Why n-nu huggies?"
"I had to get some stuff to take the bad smell off you."
>She seems to accept that.
>Until she sees the tomato juice being poured into a bucket.
>"Whhhaaa! No wike! Sketties sauce huwt fwuff! Make fwuffy no pwetty!"
"Relax, Snowflake, it'll wash out."
>Nearly gagging on the skunk smell you pull your fluffy out of her carrier.
>She sobs and cries, kicking her little legs.
>"Nuuu! Fwuffy wan' be pwetty! Nu huwt fwuff!"
>You can't reason with a fluffy pony.
>Dunk her into the tomato bucket.
>Normally she likes baths.
>Now she's crying & struggling to get out.
"Stop it, Snowflake...you need to soak."
>Careful not to drown her, you pour cups of tomato juice over her head.
>Fluffy bawls through the whole ordeal.
>Wash her off...blow dry.
>It's not good.
>Yeah, the skunk smell is mostly gone.
>Her pristene white fluff is now stained dirty orange.
>Snowflake is depressed.
>Give her several more baths...no change.
>Her white fluff is lost forever.
>Snowflake doesn't play anymore.
>Being pretty was her whole identity.
>She lays in her safe-room, hugging her blue ribbons.
>It's just as well.
>Retire her from the pageant life...time to arrange for a stud.
>Her fluff might be stained, but her DNA is still valuable.
>One stormy night, fluffy loses her virginity.
>She cries as soon as she sees the snow-white stallion.
>A cruel reminder of what she once looked like.
>Snowflake tries to hide from him.
>"Fwuffy ugwy...no wook at fwuffy" she cries.
>You have to hold her down while the stud does his business.
 
>6 weeks later the foals arrive.
>Twins...not bad.
>One is pure white just like Snowflake was.
>The other is blue, like her sibling you got rid of.
>You get rid of this blue foal too.
>Increases chances of the valuable white one surviving.
>More milk...more attention from its mother.
>Snowflake cares for her white foal, but obviously doesn't love it.
>She's visibly jealous of its pristine white fluff.
>Whatever...just so she feeds it and keeps it warm.
>When the foal is big enough you find a buyer.
>You get an excellent price...people still remember Snowflake's show-pony record.
>When it's time to go the white foal screams and clings to its mother.
>"Nuuu! Hewp mummy! Fwuffy dun wan' go 'way! Fwuffy stay wif mummy!"
>Snowflake just snorts and pushes it away from her fluff.
 
>Snowflake has a 4 year breeding life.
>During that time she produces lots of white foals.
>You make a good deal of money from her.
>She's getting old now, almost time to retire her.
>You keep one of the white fillies to replace her.
>Enter it in a show to build up a reputation.
>The new filly proudly brings home her first blue ribbon.
>Holding it in her mouth, she rushes to show it off.
>"Mummy, mummy! Wook! Fwuffy am pwettiest fluffy!"
>Snowflake just glares at her.
>You didn't know it was possible for a fluffy pony to harbor so much hate.