>Goddamn it, it's getting late.
>Uh...I mean, evening of day five.
>You reach into the crate with a gloved hand and pick up the soiled corpse of the yellow earth fluffy.
>The five survivors all react in different ways.
>The two pegasus fluffies are still apologizing.
>The two earth fluffies are trying to charge your hand, but they can't get any traction.
>”Put fwiend down!” they yell.  “Fwiend no mean make bad poopies!”
>The sole unicorn is shivering violently, hiding in a corner.
>You lift the body out and walk out of sight of them.
>The earth fluffies are screaming bloody murder.
>”Gif fwiend!  Fwiend no weave!  Fwuffy wan' fwiend!”
>You throw her into the lake and come back.
>Those two fluffies seem genuinely pissed.
>”You meanie!  Gif back fwiend!” the blue one cries.
>The pegasus fluffies try to shut them up.
>”No angwy talkies!  We get sowwy-stick!” the red one says in hushed tones.
>They have none of it.  “Wan' fwiend!  Wan' fwiend wan' fwiend wan' fwiend!”
>You ignore them and consider your next course of action.
>And idly wonder how in god's name a 16 inch tall fluffy pony could contain this much shit.
>Fucking fluffy feces singularities.
>You decide to move them off the island, and call your friend over.
>The two of you bring the crate to the shore, and set it in the driveway.
>You must now figure out how to clean a fluffy using a hose.
>Without drowning it.
>The internet has nothing to offer you on this front.
>In fact, most of the responses to such questions on fluffy pony message boards just say 'if it's caked with shit, set it on fire and buy a new one'.
>Wow.
>Your friend has the unenviable task of keeping an eye on the fluffies while you look.
>He keeps yelling about wanting a gas mask to combat the funk.
>Finally, you decide that you'll just have to do it and hope for the best.
>You'd like to get them to the shelter today.
>You head out to the driveway, dragging the hose with you.
>”Pwease wet out!”, “Hung'y!”, “No sowwy-stick!”, “Wan' fwiend wan' fwiend!” the fluffies say.
>The crate is absolutely filthy.
>All the fluffies are brown.
>You attach the sprayer to the hose and signal your friend to turn the water on.
>You don't want to traumatize them any further, so you try the gentlest setting first.
>You pick up the unicorn and set her on the driveway.
>The angry earth fluffies try to charge your hand when you grab her.
>They slip in the filth and get nowhere.
>You hold the silver fluffy by the scruff and start spraying her.
>”Wawa cold!  Wawa cold!  Hewp!  Hewp!” the unicorn cries.
“You're fine, it's just a bath.”
>”Baff?  Wawa no mean to fwuffy?”
“That's right, it won't hurt you.”
>The unicorn seems to accept this, and relaxes in your grip.
>It's not really working.  You have to use a stronger spray.
>”Owwies!  Wawa hurt fwuffy!”
>The earth fluffies come out of their corner and attempt to charge you again, slamming into the side of the crate.
>They cry in pain and immediately apologize to themselves and the crate afterward.
“Quit pitching a bitch, I'm not hurting her.”
>”You take fwiend!  You make wawa hurt fwiend!  You meanie hooman!” they shoot back.
>You continue to wash the unicorn, which is slowly becoming silver again.
>”Fw-fw-fwuffy c-c-cold,” she stutters.
>The earth fluffies have settled in their corner again, but they still mutter about their lost friend.
>Unicorn isn't coming totally clean.
>Have to use a stronger setting.
>“Waaaaaaaaah!  Wawa hurt fwuffy!  Wawa cold!  Hewp!  No wike dis baff game!  Wan' pway somefin' else!”
>Adorably furious earth fluffies stand up.  ”Weave fwiend 'wone!”
>You squirt them.
>The pegasus fluffies are huddled in another corner, mumbling fearfully and shaking.
>Silver unicorn fluffy is finally silver again.
>You hand her off to your friend for drying, and pluck the blue earth fluffy from the crate.
>Her tone changes immediately.
>”Put down!  Put down!  Fwuffy sowwy!  Fwuffy no mean be bad fwuffy!  Fwuffy wuv you!” she sobs.
>Proceed to clean crying blue earth fluffy.
>Her purple friend continuously slams her head on the side of the crate in an attempt to get out.
>Or, you thought that's what she was doing at first.
>”Wook!  Wook!  Fwuffy hurt self!  Fwuffy hurt self!  No hurt fwuffy's fwiend now!”
>Big sigh.
>Once the blue one is finished, you grab the purple one.
>”Fwuffy sowwy!  Fwuffy sowwy hurt self!  Put fwuffy back!  Fwuffy be good!”
>You clean her, but it's difficult.  She wriggles and bucks with all her fluffy strength.
>The pegasus fluffies in the crate huddle together.
>At this point, all they know is that the poopies have caused their friends to get taken away, one by one.
>They don't want to be next.  They begin to mumble 'sowwy' through fearful hiccups.
>The red pegasus is taking it the worst.  When you reach in and grab her green friend, she panics.
>”No!  No take wingie fwiend!  Wingie fwiend sowwy!  Fwuffy wuv wingie fwiend!  Wingie fwiend good fwuffy!” she screams.
>You ignore her and clean the green pegasus.
>While you're busy, she shuffles around in the now empty crate.
>”Pwease gif fwiends...” she cries.
>It takes you a while to clean the green one.  She thrashes and kicks as if her life depended on it.
>You only notice how quiet the red one has gotten once you reach in for her.
>She's wedged herself into a corner, curled into a ball with her back facing up.
>In fact, she's jammed in there so tight, you have to pull to free her.
>She's dead.
>The red fluffy got so terrified, she tried to hide herself.
>She only succeeded in choking on her filth-soaked fluff.
>The five fluffy ponies are now four.
>Shaking your head, you go to dispose of her body.
>Once you return, you power-wash the crate.
>Night has fallen, though.  It's too late to take them to town.
>Your friend has to get back home, so you'll have to keep the fluffies overnight.
>herewefuckinggo.bmp
>You get inside to find your friend has put the four of them in your bathtub.
>”Where's the other one?”
“Suffocated herself to death by accident.”
>”Oh man, what a way to go,” he says, trying not to puke.
>You bid him goodbye and look at your tub full of fluffies.
>”Where wingie fwiend?” the green pegasus asks.
“She's gone.”
>”Go sgetti-wand?”
“...sure.”
>They all say they want to go too, but it's not with the same gusto as before.
>Whenever you move to one end of the tub, they all stumble and slide to the other end.
>They run away from your hand whenever you reach down to pet them, screaming and crying.
>”Pwease no take fwiends anymo'” the earth fluffies beg.
>Big.  Sigh.
>Since this tub is a combination with a shower, you decide it'll be safe enough for them overnight if you shut the door.
>You leave some water in bowls for them.  You consider food, but you don't want a tub full of shit in the morning.
>You'll probably get one anyway.
>As you go to bed, you hear shouts of 'hung'y!' and 'miss wingie fwiend!'.