>Saint Patrick's Day in Equestria
>Wake up
>Triple S
>Today is Saint Patricks Day back home
>You doubt cartoon technicolor horses celebrate it
>Doesn't matter, still getting shitfaced
>Go downstairs from your room and pour bowl of cereal
>Notice you are out of milk
>Shrug and pour bottle of alcohol into the bowl instead
>This pone drink was weak as piss anyway
>Raise first spoonful to your lips
>Knock knock
>You really weren't in the mood for lemon horse's daily fetish guess
>Get up and open the door anyway
>Bitch never quits until you answer the door
>Flutters is doing a hand stand
"Flutters what the fuck are you doi-?"
>You are interrupted by a warm yellow stream hitting your face
>I-Is this...
>"Is piss drinking your fetish Anon?"
>OH GOD IT GOT IN YOUR MOUTH
>You blindly slam the door and rush to the bathroom to spit it out and wash your face
>Afterwards you return to your now soggy cereal
"...Greeeeeaaat"
>Not even Flutterbitch's sick perversions will stop you from drinking copious amounts of alcohol
>You finish off the cereal and head out of your house
>You make a note to hose down your doorstep when you get the time
 
>You arrive in the middle of town
>You had been here for months yet you still had a problem memorizing the town
>Probably because you were drunk out of your mind every night without fail
>You stopped and asked a mint colored horse if she could give you directions
>She turned around and started licking your hands
>NOPE.AVI
>You quickly ran away
>As you stood, panting heavily, around the corner of a house you started to have hazy recollections
>You remembered several instances, when you were mindlessly drunk, when that minty horse had humped your hands to orgasm
>If this were a human woman you would be proud of yourself
>However this was a horse...
>As you stood there disgusted with yourself you heard a voice call out to you
>Your neck snapped around almost mechanically and you saw Berry Punch
>She was asking if you were there to pick up your order for the day
>You were confused but quickly came to realize this was her house
>You told her that you were
>She invited you in to pick up the two massive heavy crates
>This horse was the only one with decent strength booze
>"You should shtay a while"
>Were those seductive eyes she was trying to give you?
>Or was she squinting like a retard because she was going blind?
>You couldn't tell and you didn't want to find out
"N-no... Oh God no. I have to get into these bad boys"
>You picked up one of the crates and jiggled it for effect
>Before she could suggest drinking them there, you picked up the second heavy crate and retreated hastily
 
>You were about half way home when purple horse stopped you
>"Anon! Funny bumping into you here, I was just on the way to your house"
"Oh really..."
>She probably wanted you to be the guinea pig for one stupid ass magical experiment
>She noticed the tone in your voice
>"Oh no, I don't want you for anything dangerous or anything..."
>You were sure she was remembering last time when you grew horns out of your nipples
"Okay, so what do you need?"
>"Pinkie Pie has organized a party for tonight and she asked me to invite you. She said something about being too busy to invite everypony"
>You cringed
>"Everypony" always brought back memories of the autistic fans of the show back home
"Welp, no can do magical talking horse, I have a very special human ritual to attend to"
>Twilight looked like she was about to scold you for calling her a horse
>You cocked a leg up and balanced the crates delicately on it
>You freed one of your hands up and pressed a finger to her lips to silence her
>Before quickly hurry on home
 
>You arrived home with no sign of any of the other horses
"Good..."
>You rushed inside and placed the crates in the kitchen
>You suddenly realized you had no green shit
>Saint Paddys required green shit everywhere
>You hated green but it was the fucking rules
>You quickly rushed back out the door
 
>After a quick sprint you were at Stitchy Bitchy's boutique
>You rapped on the door roughly
>There was no answer
>You leaned against the door and heard whispering
>You decided to peek through the window
>You saw the perverted lemon horse and purple horse talking to Stichy Bitchy
>THIS DOES NOT BODE WELL
>You thump again and this time Rarity answers
>"Oh Anon, how simply wonderfu-"
"Spare the pleasantries, can you make me a green banner?"
>"Oh but of course I can, I'll make it out of my fin-"
>You cut her off and explained what shamrocks looked like and to put the words "Saint Patrick's Day" on it
>You noted she should use durable material, you were cheap so you wanted this to last for multiple Saint Patrick's Days
>"But of course Anon, it'll be do-"
"And deliver it. I'll pay any amount extra necessary"
>You didn't want to leave your house unguarded after watching those two horses conspiring with white horse
>"Okay Anon, I'll deliver it la-"
>You left before she was done, your abode needed defending for any possible onslaught from the horses
 
>On the way home you were stopped by rainbow horse
>"Hey Anon, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out?"
"No. Can't. Important human business"
>She seemed taken aback by the finality in your tone of voice
>"But hay now, you know we always have a good time"
>You cocked an eyebrow
>Her smile was suspicious and sweat was running down her brow
>SHE WAS IN LEAGUE WITH THE YELLOW ONE
>Without saying a word you started sprinting towards your house
 
>Yet again you are stopped
>This time the whole apple family are dragging heavy carts past your house
>This path is nowhere near Sweet Apple Acres
>They must be up to something seriously bad if they want to hold you up this much
"Oi apple horse, when will you be done moving this stupid shit"
>Granny Smith approached you
>FUCK
>"Hey now whippersnapper, you should watch that mouth of yours and this isn't stupid stuff, these are our finest apples"
>You mumbled an apology
>You always had a weak spot for being told off by your senors
>That and you were now fearing some long winded flashback story
>You caught sight of Applejack
>OH THANK YOU SWEET MERCIFUL LORD
>You shot off toward her
"Hey, when will this little convoy of yours be done?"
>"Oh I reckon maybe anuva hour or so, this here is a lot of apples"
>You literally growled before backing off and taking a look at the convoy from a distance
>It stretched off nearly further than you could see
>You noticed the rainbow one shoot overhead, in the direction of your house
>SHIT JUST GOT REAL
>You impulsively jump onto the back of a wagon and then jump off the other side
>As you sprint off you could swear you saw a purple flash behind you...
 
>The first suspicious thing you noticed was that your doorstep was clean
>Slutterfly must have done it so her friends weren't disgusted
>You sighed, defeated by the fact that this was happening no matter what
>You opened the door and...
"Nothing?"
>You peaked around the room you were in
>Maybe it was just your paranoia then?
>You walked into the kitchen, convinced you were just imagining it when you nearly died of a heart attack
>The first thing you saw was a pink horse being shot out of a cannon and slamming into your chest, knocking you to the floor and winding you
>"HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY, WHATEVER THAT IS. I DON'T KNOW BUT I'M STILL SO EXCITED FOR THIS. ARE YOU EXCITED? I'M E-"
>You pushed it off and gasped for air
>The purple horse rushed to your side
>"Are you okay? I tried to tell her not to but she wouldn't listen and-"
>You pushed her aside and forced yourself up
"How the fu-"
>Apple horse cut you off
>"Teleportation"
>Fucking horse magic, how does it work?
>You stepped into the kitchen and saw an overly decorated banner
>It was the one you described to the white horse
>You looked around the room
>All of the Mane 6 horses were there
>Even not-so-mellow yellow
>You grabbed a bottle from the first crate and roughly pulled the cork out, throwing it into the sink
>"So, darling, what does this little soiree entail?"
>You looked at White Horse
>HOLY SHIT
>You had never seen any of these horses consuming hard liquor before, just that piss weak shit
>You beamed a shit eating grin at the thought of getting them all drunk
"You drink as much as you can"
>You passed out bottles while you said this
>The mane 6 eyed them oddly, as if not trusting it
"Well, I mean you did plan a party around my human holiday. If you aren't going to participate and utterly RUIN it, that's cool"
>Dat guilt trip...
>They all assured you that was not going to happen and started to drink the alcohol
 
>At first there was a lot of grimaces, followed by forced smiles
>But then after the bottles were slowly drained, their faces started to seem a little droopy
>All except yellow horse who looked quite content and sober
>WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?
>You shrugged it off, maybe she was just drinking slower than the others
>You chuckled and started your third bottle
>Raindow Dash was hitting on Twilight and Twilight was just gushing about Princess Celestia's majesty and beauty
>You stifled your laughter
>White horse looked about ready to collapse
>Apple horse was talking to a rubber plant, asking it to give her apples
>Slutterfly was just sitting there silent, clearly quite sober
>You decided to check their bottles
>Rainbow had drank the most from it, followed by Apple horse, then Twilight and lastly Rarity
>But Flutters... Well, her bottle was dead empty
>She had to be up to something
>You drained that third bottle, giving her evil eyes
>She seemed not have noticed, or just ignored it
 
>After giving Flutters a second bottle and encouraging the others to finish theirs (egging Rainbow on by showing her that Flutters was on her second)
>You cracked open a forth bottle
>You wondered how many of these you could drink, Berry said they would be her strongest yet when you first ordered them
>You didn't care, alcohol poisoning was part of the holiday after all
>You noticed that Rainbow had fallen for it and asked for another bottle
>You made sure the first was drained and obliged
>You decided to watch her, you didn't want her killing herself on the stuff after all
 
>White horse collapsed after almost finishing hers
>Suddenly something dawned on you...
"Where is Pinkie Pie?"
>None of the others noticed you say this
>You looked around and couldn't see her anywhere
>You started to feel like the booze was finally taking effect
>You were about to give up when you saw some pink hair dangling from a light fitting
>You pushed a chair over and climbed up
>Inside was Pink Horse, passed out with 4 bottles beside her
>You expected a lot from this random crazy pony that seemed to always defy the laws of nature
>But she had managed 4 times the others?
>You gently took her down
>Before roughly throwing her on top of the passed out Rarity
>Now you had to check on Flutters and Rainbow
>Rainbow was on the floor with Twilight, licking and kissing her face
>Twilight was softly moaning about Celestia
>You can't contain it and burst out laughing
>Next you look to Slutters and finish off the drink
>Her second bottle was empty and she still looked sober
>You saw an empty bottle near apple horse and a freshly opened one that looked untouched
>You scooped it up, knowing she couldn't manage any more
>You drained it in one gulp before checking the sink
>It smelled strongly of the drink
>So... Fluttershy had been tipping it out while the other horses had you distracted
>You turned to confront her but suddenly your vision started to blur out
"Wadafak?"
>You managed to gasp out before collapsing and giving into the growing darkness
 
>You woke up on your bed
>"Wake up Anon, oh goodness I hope I didn't use too much"
>What the fuck was this bitch talking about?
>You remembered today was Saint Patrick's day so you would have to go get your special order from Berry horse
>You opened your eyes and groaned
>The first thing you saw was yellow horse
"Fluttershy? Did you break into my house?"
>"Don't you remember Anon honey?"
>You cringed... You hated her using terms of affection like that
>But then you thought about what you were supposed to remember
"OH GOD, DID YOU DRUG ME YOU PSYCHOTIC SLUT?"
>You had dealt with crazy stalker ex-girlfriends back home trying to get access to your D but you had never been drugged before
>"W-well, it's something Vinyl gave me. She said it makes you black out and have crazy dreams"
>Maybe the booze had counteracted the effect because he certainly didn't experience any whacked out dreams
"Are you... FUCKING NUTS?"
>"W-well Vinyl said she uses it so I knew it was safe"
>You gritted your teeth
>Vinyl was likely a regular user with higher tolerance
>There was no telling how bad this could have been
>You opened your mouth to say this but noticed that your limbs were tied down
"Did you... Tie me to my bed?"
>"Yes, I need you to hold still so you can admit this is your fetish"
>She uncapped a bottle and drank some right in front of you
>Not just a bit either, she drained half a bottle before stopped
>Considering the tolerance of the others, this would have turned you on if she were human
>You loved chicks who could drink good
>She slowly poured the rest down her front
>"This is the only way you're getting more to drink tonight mister..."
>You gulped
>You doubted your will power
>You NEEDED alcohol any night
>And this wasn't even any night, this was the night of an holiday dedicated to Alcohol
>You managed to hold out for about half of an hour (felt like a thousand long years) before leaning your head up and sucking the alcohol from the chest of the horse
 
>She moaned
>Oh God you felt filthy
>But you needed this sweet nectar
>You sucked lower and lower but stopped before her... AHEM 'Marehood'
>"What's the matter, Anon? Need more incentive?"
>She produced another bottle and poured some out on herself
>But only on her marehood
>FUCK
>You grimaced
>Were you really this much of a hopeless alcoholic
>'Yes,' said a little voice in the back of your mind
>You mentally shrugged and leaned up and took your first lick
>The alcohol taste was much stronger here, as she had poured much more here and the first amounted had ran down here as well
>Her moaning was horrendous as you licked and sucked away
>Your eyes were closed and you were imagining you weren't doing this
>But that little voice from before kept reminding you
>That guy is a dick
>Suddenly you felt wetness on your face and opened your eyes
>Slutters was pouring the rest of the booze she had over your face while moaning intensely
>Your licking got more forceful, enjoying the added liquor running down your face
>Suddenly Flutters moans turned to a scream as she orgasmed and fell back onto your chest
>Oh god, her juices had exploded all in your mouth in such copious amounts
>And you accidentally swallowed it, without thinking
>You turned your head to the side and vomited
>Fucking hard
>Some even hit the wall
>You struggled against your binds for a bit before eventually giving up and falling to sleep
 
>You woke up the next morning, untied
>You didn't have any kind of amnesia, surprisingly
>But you fucking wish you had
>You vomited off the side of your bed again
>Afterwards you immediately trekked downstairs
>Pinkie was bouncing around, apparently immune to hangovers
>Rainbow horse had her muzzle buried in Twilight's marehood
>As disgusting as this was to you, it was still kinda funny their drunk selves had gone so far
>Rarity was still passed out but somepony, likely Pinkie, had drawn goofy glasses on her face in marker
>Both Apple horse and Slutters were gone
>You found a note
>It read
>"Sory if ya were worryed wen I werent not there wen you woke up, gotta go work the farm. Gotta say that was sum hard stuf u had last nite Anon. Frum erplejerk."
>God that horse needed English lessons
>You turned it over and saw more, written in a different style
>"I know your fetish now Anon..."
 
>You promptly boarded the next train to Canterlot and booked yourself into the most successful rehab clinique in all of Equestria