>Day Timelines in Equestria.
>Walking down the street to visit the market for some groceries, whistling Pinkie's smile song along the way.
>Bobbing your head to the catchy beat, you slide your hands in your pocket to count your bits.
"One, Two, Three- shit!"
>You fall face first into the ground, tossing your bits everywhere into the dirt.
>"Got you- damn it!"
>Looking up to see who is it, there's no-one around.
>Dusting yourself off the ground, you look back to see what you tripped over.
>There's nothing on the path.
>You must be hearing things.
>Cursing your bad luck and sanity, you pick up your bits and head off into the market.
 
>"Hiya, Anon! Back so soon?"
>Applejack smiles and wave at you.
>What? You just arrived...
>Disregarding the odd greeting, you smile and nod back.
>Picking up a few apples and tossing some bits her way, she nods again in thanks.
>Responding likewise, you proceed to move on.
>That's one item off your shopping list, now for the next.
>As you walk under the shade of a tree, the leaves start to rustle.
>It's probably just some rowdy birds going at it, you shrug.
"I've got you now, my prett- eep!"
>Hmm?
>You turn to look at the leaves, but they seem to stop moving altogether.
>You shrug again, and head off.
 
>Next stop, fish.
>The local fishmonger's very nice, but her prices are a bit steep.
>You'd haggle with her, but you wouldn't want to cause a roe.
>Groaning at your own pun, you mentally slap yoursel- owch!
>Did you... actually slap yourself with your mind?
>This day just keeps getting weirder.
 
>Fish, tick; Fishstick.
>Now to get bread, and then go home.
>Opening the door to Sugarcube Corner, you spot Pinkie humming a tune while baking in the back.
>Walking up to the counter, you gaze at the spectacular glazed donuts on display.
>"Hey wait a minute... How'd you get there so fast?"
>Pinkie's head peeks around the door and soon, the rest of her body joins her.
>Her eyes go wide in realisation and she gasps.
>"Do you know how to teleport too!?"
>She starts bouncing left and right, all around you, speaking garbled messages at the speed of pink.
>One second, she's in front of you, a blink later, behind.
>"Hi there Anon, what do you need?"
>The voice breaks you out of focusing on the pink blur.
>Looking back to the counter, you see Mr. Cake taking over serving.
>"Whenever Pinkie goes off like this, I take over. Which is almost all the time..."
>He sighs, then perks up again.
>"Say, weren't you just in the kitchen a few seconds ago?"
>You pout your lips and shake your head.
>"Well, my mistake, so what can I get you?"
>Before you can respond, Pinkie finally stops bouncing around and presents a box of muffins to you.
>"-and here you go!"
>Stare at her for a while, then shrug and grab the box.
>Deposit a handful of bits on the counter, Mr. Cake nodding vigorously in thanks.
>Walking out of the store, you notice a note sticking out of the box of muffins.
'Use on the yellow menace'
>Oh, it's one of these days.
 
>Finally, home, sweet, home.
>Putting your foot up, you sigh in relaxation as the day begins to wind down.
>Even though you expect a visit from Fluttershy anytime soon, you can't help but try to nap in this relaxing environm- oh who are you kidding, something bad is going to happen.
>And the knocking starts.
>Bracing yourself, you open the door to find said bad thing here.
>"Anon! I've got your fetish right here!"
>She produces a TV-remote looking thing from her satchel.
>"Time Travel!"
>You raise an eyebrow and kneel down to her level.
"I can't believe you'd be smart enough to invent a thing like that."
>Under your breath, you add,
"Probably stole it from Twilight."
>"Well, I am full of surprises..."
>She blushes and hides her head behind her mane.
>"Do you want to see what else I'm capable of?"
"No. You're full of shit, do you even know how it works?"
>"Umm, yeah... T-Twilight-"
>Called it
>"-said you press this button here, and-"
>Her hoof presses the back button, and a beam of red light shoots you.
>"Oh my!"
>Suddenly, your world spins and you black out...
 
>Day Timelines in Equestria.
>You wake up in the middle of a park somewhere around Ponyville.
>It's already approaching nighttime, the air is chilly and the sky is dark.
>Remembering how you got here... oh that's right, that bitch knocked you out!
>You begin to stomp angrily over to Fluttershy's cottage, but a clock tower starts ringing.
>One bong.
>Two bong.
>Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eig- wait a minute...
>It stopped at seven.
>Remember you're wearing a watch.
>It's seven... AM!
>It's even the same date!
>She did send you back in time!
>Well, off to Fluttershy's cottage to kill her, since you've got the perfect alibi.
 
>Sneaking in through a window, you carefully creep upstairs to Fluttershy's bedroom.
>You hear her cute little snores, and slowly open her door.
>Stealthily crawling to her bedside, you raise a pillow ready to smother her.
>"Anon... I love you..."
>She even squees in her sleep.
>...Maybe killing her is a bit too harsh.
>You set the pillow down, and get up to leave.
>Checking to see if anyone's looking, you turn around and quickly pet her mane.
>She coos and smiles back to silent sleep.
>Smiling, you think about how she's really gotten over her shyness by talking with you.
>Maybe she's not so bad after-
>What the fuck is this.
>Blueprints lay upon her desk, all read in bright red letters:
OPERATION RAPE THE APE
>They detail the ways she plans to kidnap you.
>"Oh Anon~!"
>Turning around, you're greeted by Fluttershy's marehood presented out to you.
>"Come and ravage me!"
>Nope the fuck out of that place.
 
>It's the afternoon.
>That's when the blueprints of Fluttershy's operation said it'll start.
>Around the time you'll be walking to the market.
>And there you are, the handsome hunk of a man.
>You don't blame Fluttershy for wanting some of that.
>Speaking of, there she is propping herself on a slingshot pointed straight at you.
>Shit!
>Sprinting towards the past you, you see yourself humming the smile song.
>You're now putting your hands in your pockets and counting your bits.
>Fluttershy is now at maximum slingshot potential.
>"One, Two",
>With a loud whipping noise, Fluttershy flies out of the slingshot faster than 3 sanics.
"Three-"
>You desperately dived in vain, and hit the foot of yourself.
>"Shit!"
>Down you go, face first into the dirt, Fluttershy shooting past you above.
>"Got you- damn it!"
>She continues flying all the way and crashes into a tree further down the path.
>Quickly scrambling to your feet, you dive into the bushes.
>"Just my fucking luck..."
>You mumble of into the distance.
>Tick that one off the list.
 
>Apparently, behind the bushes was a neat shortcut to get to the market much quicker than before.
>Also, you realise that you haven't eaten since breakfast.
>Getting really hungry, you visit the stall closest to you.
>Oh, it's Applejack's.
>"Hiya, Anon. What can I get ya?"
"Oh just an apple, thanks."
>You toss her a bit and take an apple.
>Before you're able to bite into it, you see yourself turning the corner.
>Diving into a bushel of apples, you come by Applejack's stall and buy more apples.
>"Back so soon?"
>Silence.
>Sounds of bits hitting her bitbox.
>"Y-you too"
> ...
>As soon as the coast is clear, you burst out of the bushel and scramble to climb the big tree.
>Fluttershy is poised above a branch, overlooking the path.
>Any moment now, you're gonna be under her trap.
>Not if you can help it.
>Swinging from branch to branch, you close the distance between you and her.
>"I've got you now, my prett- eep!"
>Before she can finish her sentence, you tackle Fluttershy and put a hand over her mouth to silence her.
>She struggles for a bit, before realising it's you.
>She moans deep into your mouth, before passing out.
>Did she just? Eww.
 
>Now that Fluttershy's been taken care of, you decide to stalk yourself walking to the fishmonger's.
>Isn't this where you...
>You run past yourself with an outstretched palm and give yourself a well deserved slap.
 
>Running all the way to Sugarcube Corner, you slip into the back where Pinkie is busy glazing her donuts.
>"Hi there, Nonny! Wanna help me glaze these donuts?"
"Uh, sure, only if you bake some muffins for me."
>"Deal!"
>You start to glaze the donuts while Pinkie stirs up the batter for the muffins.
>While she isn't looking, you hastily scribble a note and slip it into the box.
>You start humming the catchy tune of Pinkie's smile song from this morning.
>"Oh I know that tune!"
>She hums it too.
>Goddamn catchy beat.
>She's starting to pour the batter into the molds now, just as you're finished with the glazing.
>"Good job, Nonny! I'll go display that right now for the world to see your spectacular work!"
>She grabs the tray of donuts and brings it out to the front.
>She returns just in time for the muffins to be ready.
>As she turns to remove them from the oven, the doorbell rings and you dive under the table.
>"Huh? Nonny, where'd you go? Hey wait a minute... How'd you get there so fast?"
>You sneak out the back.
 
>On the way back home, Twilight calls out to you from the library.
>"Oh Anon, could you please help me with this?
>You shrug and oblige.
"What do you need?"
>"I'm working on this Time VoRtEx ManipulatOr TEchnology (or TV REMOTE, for short), but I don't know whether it works or not, and I'm too afraid to test it on Spike. Could you please go make sure it's safe before I use it? For scientific research purposes, of course."
>She hands you the device.
>"Thanks Anon!"
>She slams the door on your face.
>Well shit.
>Now you have to hand it over to Fluttershy, but she's still in the tree passed out.
>Sigh.
 
"Fluttershy, wake up."
>You nudge her ribs.
"Fluttershy!"
>You poke her slightly harder.
>Sighing to yourself for the millionth time, you whisper in her ear,
"Twilight made this remote that lets you travel through time. Time travel is-"
>You gulp.
"-my fetish."
>Almost instantly, Fluttershy springs back to life and snatches the remote out of your hands.
>She tries to fly over to your house but can't shake the stiffness out of it.
>She gallops off into the distance, in the direction of your house.
"Well, I guess that's it."
>You relax up in the tree, comforted in knowing that you've trapped yourself in a never-ending cycle of a time paradox.
>"Is that your fetish, Anon?"
>Your timeline Fluttershy snuggles up to your side.
>The tent in your pants doesn't lie.
"Yes it is, of course it is."
>And for the rest of the time, sex happened.
 
THE END