"I'm sorry, what?"
>You are Anon, and Twilight here has an interesting proposition for you.
>"It's just for a few days, Anon. All you...."
>She sighs and looks away from you in shame.
>"I know, alright? I can't bear to see the look on Dad's face when I tell him that I don't have a herd. My brother is already married, and bookish, friendless Twilight from the library hasn't even kissed a colt yet."
"And now they think that you and I are an item."
>Twilight winces.
>"That's right. I know what you're thinking, Anon, and don't worry; you won't have to kiss me or anything like that."
>She starts to pace in a tight circle, and you can just FEEL the self-loathing pouring off of her.
>Jesus, FINE.
"Look, Twilight, Twil - I'll do it, alright? Stop... lathering yourself up. Just tell me what I need to do, and I'll do it."
>She owes you for this.
>No more of that white-knight bullshit for at least a month.
>'Let me get that door for you, Anon!' ; 'No, I'll pay for lunch. It isn't proper to make the stallion pay.'; 'You look cold, Anon, do you need somepony to warm you up?'
>She's mixing her flirting with her sexist attitude, and it ain't giving her any brownie points.
 
>Back to the present, Twilight looks absolutely tickled.
>"Oh! Anon, thank you so much! It's really weird, I know, but just put up with me for a few days, okay?"
>Aww, this mare
>She's annoying, but you don't "put up" with her by any means.
>You reach out and mess up her mane.
"C'mon, Twilight, we're friends. Hanging with you isn't exactly a chore for me."
>After wriggling away from your hoof-spiders, Twilight gets a serious look on her face.
>"Now, there are a few things you need to do in order to fool my parents into thinking we're, you know, a herd together."
>Twilight's in full-on professional mode, now.
>"As far as behaviour goes, just be... I don't know, more affectionate. Act like a colt for once."
>Oh, well you can just fuck right off, Twilight.
>"Sit close to me if we're on the couch; maybe cuddle when appropriate."
"Sounds reasonable so far."
>"And I promise not to do weird things to you in front of my parents."
"....what?"
>"Oh! Were you expecting me to? I know it's expected for in some herds, but it's by no means required."
>God dammit, Twilight.
>You haven't even started and already it's weird.