Chaotic Mentor
Lesson One: "Never Trust A Stray Glass Of Chocolate Milk."
 
 
 
 
>Loading...
>Alright, twelve hours and still going strong.
>Class: Knight
>Level: 70
>Strength: 390
>Defense: 1000
>Health: 11200/11200
>Stamina: 5010/6000, steadily lowering due to running.
>Magic: 300/500, because giant rats are jerks.
>You were equipped with Touch of Zeus(Sword), Ice Shield, and Strategic Retreat(Special) for a quick getaway.
>Your name is Anonymous, and right now you're facing the biggest threat of your life as you're staring a giant, fire breathing dragon in the face.
>Ever since you started this quest you have awaited the day you could kill the beast.
>It's far too late for retreat as you have already invaded the scaly nemisis's territory.
>A dragon's pride is boundless, so you both knew a challenge would end in death for one of you.
>You slowly draw your sword and raise your shield.
"This is it Dragnaut! By my sword, YOU. SHALL. FALL."
>Suddenly, the beast releases a ferocious roar that quakes the earth as molten lava erupts all around the hollow crater.
>Dragnaut
>Class: Mythic Dragon
>Level: 89
>Strength: 900
>Defense: 2000
>Health: 90000/90000
>Stamina: 17000/17000
>Magic: 10000/10000
>Abilities: Doom(Instant Death), Inferno Soul(Natural Fire Resistance), and Molten Tail(Unblockable Tail Attacks).
"Alright you oversized lizard, show me what you got!"
>[Battle Start!]
>You charge at the towering dragon and activate your weapon's ability.
>[Dragon Slayer]
>The blade of of your weapon extends and suddenly becomes engulfed in black lightning.
>You can't help but smile to yourself as you remember all the time you spent learning blacksmith skills so you could reinforce demonic energy into your blade for extra damage.
>When you closed in for a move the dragon swiped at you with its giant claw.
>A move easily deflected with your shield.
"HA! Read the class scales for brain, knights are resistant to physical damage!"
>You took advantage of the opening as you stabbed your blade into the back of its claw.
>Dragnaut HP: 80690/90000.
>A blood curdling screech erupted from your foe's mouth as it ascended into the sky.
"Aww, I'm sorry. Did that hurt?" You taunted. "C'mere and let me give you another!"
>Dragnaut suddenly gathered energy in its mouth the size of a small planet.
>Then condensed it to the size of a small orb.
"Oh sonnuva-"
>With a bright flash the dragon fired the attack in your direction, and in one instant sent the entire crater you were on up in flames.
>...
>[Ice Fortress]
>As the smoke clears and the flames die down a miniature castle made of ice can be seen slowly cracking and finally shattering apart; revealing yourself completely un-scorched.
"Sorry bud, but my shield will make a miniature fortress against fire element based magic."
>Anonymous HP: 11000/11200.
"Hm, looks like I still got clipped."
>You quickly looked at the sky to find Dragnaut diving straight at you with another swipe.
>Quickly drawing your shield up you mocked the dragon.
"How many times must I deflect your stupid attacks before you get it through your head? Physical moves ain't got nothing on ME!."
>As you block the swipe for the second time you couldn't help but notice that last attack was a little weak.
>Though you don't realize its intention until you moved in for a strike.
>That swipe was merely a diversion for the dragon's real attack.
>You hold your shield up in an effort to defend against the dragon, but your worst fear came to pass as the beast did a one-eighty.
"No...no...NOOOOOOOO!"
>[Molten Tail]
>The dragon's tail came crashing straight down from above like a meteor and split your shield in two.
>The resulting impact sent you flying, and crashing head first into the ground.
>Anonymous HP: 5,900/11200.
>That moved would've killed you were it not for the knight's high defense.
>Shakily picking yourself up off the ground you grab your sword again, and face the dragon.
>It has already flown up into the the air again, only this time it seemed to be calling out to the sky.
>Wait a minute.
>Calling out into the sky?
>You remember a warning someone gave about that somewhere.
>It was a corny sounding rhyme.
>"With a dragon's plea faced towards the moon, the beast will surely bring about doom."
>"The beast will surely bring about doom."
>"Bring about doom."
"...Well screw me sideways with an iron pipe."
>[Doom]
>The sky darkened to a new moon black while the dragon screeched its prayer to the heavens.
>Before you could even move a towering pillar of white flames mercilessly burnt your flesh until nothing but a charred skeleton remained.
>Anonymous HP: 0/11200
>As you slowly broke apart into fine black ashes the dragon cries out in victory.
>Your story, your fame, your fortune.
>Gone, in a single instant.
>...
>GAME OVER.
 
 
 
>As you looked at the flashing message on your laptop the controller in your hand dropped to the floor.
"Dang, looks like they weren't kidding when they said Dragnaut was to be feared."
>You got up and stretched the stiffened limbs that were immobile the last twelve hours you were playing.
>The small black case on the table showed the game you had recently been so absorbed in.
>Dragon Doom: The Reign Of Dragnaut.
>A truly merciless RPG that gave you one life, and upon death deleted your save data.
>Twelve hours.
>Twelve freaking hours; wasted by a single feint.
>Needless to say your recent loss killed the desire to touch your laptop anytime soon.
>You could use a cup of coffee about now.
>After stretching some more you make your way through the living room and to the kitchen to pour a hot one.
>A couple of cups later you were feeling a bit better, not exactly refreshed; just not complete garbage.
>The light of dawn was creeping its way into the living room, and made it visible enough to not trip over your numerous game cases on the floor.
>One of these days you'll straighten up the mess so at least people visiting could see the actual floor in your apartment; not just games, accessories, and collectibles.
>Assuming people even visited in the first place.
"Hm? What's this?"
>You noticed your home phone was blinking with one new message.
>Probably came while you were caught up in Dragon Doom.
>A quick press later the message began playing as you leaned against the wall, still sipping the last cup of joe.
>"How do you do Mr. Anonymous? Let me start by introducing myself. I am Drocsid, supervisor of 'Chaos Inc.'."
>Chaos Incorporated?
>Doesn't sound like a very popular company if even you've never heard of it.
>"I understand you are a professional gamer of sorts that will take on any challenge for the right price, and boy do I have just the perfect offer for you."
>You continued to sip your coffee as Drocsid kept talking.
>"I have revolutionized gaming as we know it with my latest project, but I still require someone to help me test the latest version; however, if I get the necessary help I can proudly say that in the near future a complete virtual reality game will be available to the public."
>What Drocsid just said made you spit out your coffee in disbelief.
>Did he just say virtual reality?
>As in a game that completely immerses your senses in a computerized reality?
>Impossible, even with modern technology virtual reality is still a long ways away.
>"I understand that what I'm saying may sound a tad unbelievable, but I assure you that I speak the absolute truth, The only thing you need to do is test my game, and in return you will receive a six figure payment for your time and cooperation."
>Coffee sprayed out of your mouth for the second time that day as you stood by the phone in shock.
>Unbelievable, an unknown company wants you to beta test the worlds first full immersion virtual reality game for a six figure payment.
>This is actually happening?
>"Heh...hahahaha...no way."
>The mug shook as your hand trembled with something you haven't felt in a long while, and as you practically ran throughout your apartment and down the stairs to your car you had the dumb million dollar grin of a kid with a brand new game.
"Yeeeaaaahhhhh!"
 
 
 
"Oh..."
>Well this is the place.
>Or at least according to the address on the message, but this didn't exactly look like the right place.
>You kind of pictured a super science lab of sorts with a team of game developers.
>What was in front you looked like a broken down old house.
>It was a two hour drive from your apartment because it sat just outside the city.
>This had to be the place; there was no other houses or buildings for miles.
>Yeah, this is definitely raising some red flags.
>As psyched as you were about the whole situation you knew something wasn't right.
>Out here in the middle of nowhere anything can happen, and there would be no witnesses to anything.
>Decision time Anon.
>Option A: Turn around, go home, and act like this all never happened(remaining safe and sound).
>Option B: Traverse the unknown beyond the door(where absolutely anything can happen).
>You took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled before walking up to the door.
"OK...no turning back now."
>You knocked on the door a couple of times, but nobody came.
"Hello? Mr.Drocsid? I'm the beta tester you called!"
>No response whatsoever.
>Against your better judgment you tried the doorknob.
>It wasn't locked.
>Great, just great. Nothing unusual...except the obvious.
>The door slowly creaked open to reveal a completely empty house.
>You cautiously walked in and looked at the vacant area.
>No furniture, no paintings, and no person in sight.
"Hello! Is anyone here!?"
>Still a dead silent house.
>You continued walking around the house and discovered nothing was in any of the other rooms.
>They all looked like the first one; quiet and vacant.
>All except the master bedroom in the back of the house, which was the only closed room.
>There was no lock on the door so opening it was easy enough.
>The room was mostly empty like the others, but there were two items laying in the center of the floor.
>A black voice recorder, and a glass of what appeared to be chocolate milk.
>When you picked up the voice recorder there was a small note under it that read "Please Play Me!".
>Well it's not like you had anything to lose by playing it so with a small click it started up.
>"Good evening Mr.Anonymous, or may I call you Anon?"
>You immediately recognized the voice as Mr. Drocsid.
>"Now I know this place seems a tad suspicious, but I assure you that this is all just procedure. Now, I would like to direct your attention to the refreshment that has been placed on the floor by yours truly."
>You slowly bent down and picked the glass of milk off the floor and examined it as Drocsid continued.
"I would like you to practice a trust game with me by drinking the contents of the milk, and let me warn you beforehand that whatever is in the milk will make you a bit sleepy."
>What did he just say?
>Drink whatever the heck he mixed into this milk and fall out?
>Yeah the ride ends here, and you sure aren't coming back again.
>"Anon, wait."
>You almost thought someone else was in the room, but soon realized the message was still playing.
>"I know this is a bit much, but think about what CAN happen instead of what WILL happen. Sure this drink CAN possibly do anything to you, but if you leave now nothing changes and you WILL never hear from me again. I swear to answer any questions or concerns face to face if you decide to do this."
>With a loud click the message stopped and left you in a quiet room to ponder what to do.
>To drink, or not to drink...that is the question.
>You sat down with your legs crossed, staring at the chocolate milk that held all the answers to the big questions in your head.
>Just what the heck is this going to do you if you chug it?
>Is it safe?
>Why do you need to be unconscious before you meet him?
>Is someone waiting nearby to drag you off to who knows where?
>The last part of Drocsid's message was bugging you the most.
>...
>You sighed and hung your head in defeat.
>You knew what you were going to decide before you even came inside the house though; despite the reluctance earlier.
>As you held up the glass up you laughed at your situation.
"Haha...I must be crazy, but I really think the 'could' would've killed me if I had walked away."
>In one quick motion you chugged the milk and sat against the wall.
>Strangely enough it tasted really good; very nice quality brand mix.
>It gave you an unusual calmness though, like a cup of coffee on a cold winter day.
>You felt a warmth travel around your body as your eyelids slowly fell shut.
"Alright...Drocsid...your...move..."
>...
 
 
 
>Your eyes creaked open to reveal a blurry scenery.
>Was it side effects of the milk or something?
>Ah wait, you just needed to blink.
>…There we go, and now to check yourself ove- WHAT IN THE NAME OF SMOKY CHARLES IS THIS!?"
>Your hands looked...well, like a cartoon!
>In fact all of your clothes looked animated and overly colored.
>The room you were now in was a bright gold and white; complete with unnaturally colorful furniture, rugs, and banners.
>This definitely was not the place you were just at.
>You spotted a mirror just beside the bed you were in, so you jumped up and walked over.
>Sure enough the reflection in the mirror was you; only completely cartoon like and brightly colored.
>Despite this new circumstance you had to admit it.
>You made an awesome looking cartoon character.
>"Ah! The guest of honor has awakened." echoed a mysterious sounding voice.
"What the? Is someone here?"
>"Not some 'one' it's some 'pony', but then again I'm not any of those things entirely."
>With a sudden pop a weird 'thing' was sitting on the edge of the bed drinking a glass of chocolate milk.
>Its shape was identical to a dragon, but it had some other animal parts for limbs.
>The most noticeable trait about it were its crimson eyes that wandered around the room as it spoke.
>"Good evening Anon, welcome to the oh so wonderful land of Equestria."
"Equestria? What the heck? I was supposed to be meeting Drocsid for the game!"
>"Ah yes Drocsid...hold on, this room has been driving me absolutely bonkers for a while now."
>With a quick snap of his fingers the dragon made everything float into the air with zero gravity, including you and him.
>"Ah...much better."
"Whoa! Wait how are you doing that!?"
>"Hm, oh this? Well it took many decades of practice, but I have come up with the perfect technique for drinking a beverage while in zero gravity."
>"That's not what I meant. How are you making this whole room have no gravity!?"
>The cackling dragon simply took another sip of his drink, but in an instant teleported behind you.
>"Well isn't it obvious my dear Anon? Think a little and you could probably guess!"
>While floating upside down you cross your legs and fold your arms in order to maintain composure.
"Hmmm...Oh! I get it! I'm still hopped up on whatever was in the chocolate milk, and currently hallucinating!"
>"Wrong! Try again. You're still thinking too logically." he said with another sip.
"Ok...was I brought here by Drocsid and currently inside the virtual reality game?"
>The dragon lifted a goat like eyebrow to your answer before flying across the room; discarding his drink along the way.
>"You are half right and half wrong. Drocsid did indeed bring you 'here', but I'm afraid this isn't a virtual reality game Anon."
"Impossible, there's no way you could do any of these things in reality." you replied with a smug grin. "You can't just bend the laws of physics as you please."
>The dragon simply floated, giving you a deadpan stare.
>"Come now Anon, the way you're thinking is simply too plain and simple."
"They call it 'common sense' where I come from."
>"I know, and it's SO BORING to listen to."
>The dragon flew around some floating furniture before slowly wrapping behind you.
>He then put his bear paw on your shoulder and pointed with his dragon claw as if he were showing you something.
>"Imagine for a second Anon! You're in a new world entirely with it's own laws, culture, and species. Now! What could...no, what WOULD exist in that world that could possibly explain what you see before you? Think outside the box!"
>Think outside the box he says?
>What force could possibly be powerful enough to ignore reality that wouldn't exist on Earth?
>…
>That's when it hit you.
>The realization must've shown on your face, because the dragon was now giving you a big toothy grin.
"Its magic...isn't it?"
>"Bravo Anon!" the dragon praised. "See what happens when you think outside the box? You've hit the nail on the head."
>It was hard objecting to what the dragon was telling you; seeing as you're still rotating about ten feet off the ground.
>You still wanted to believe that you might be in the greatest virtual reality simulator ever invented.
>Though your senses are pretty sharp sometimes, and right now they're leaning towards the dragon's explanation.
>Despite how unlikely the situation seemed.
>Being transported to a new world was already hard enough to believe.
>But magic?
>Could it really be that?
"Ok, lets say for arguments sake this really is another world and all of this is magic. I still don't get exactly 'why' Drocsid would send me here."
>"Ah! We reach the 'why' of the questioning! I prepared something just for the occasion!"
>With a snap of his fingers the dragon returned the gravity to the room as everything floated back to where it originally sat.
>All except for you, who crashed to the floor.
"Ugh! Warn me before you do crap like that!" you yelled, rubbing your aching forehead.
>"Terribly sorry, I'm a little careless when preparing a show."
>The dragon the popped up beside you...in a pink nurse outfit.
"What do you think you're doing?"
>"Here, the nurse shall make it all better." said the dragon; applying a small bandage to your head. "There we go!"
>And with another 'pop' the dragon was back across the room.
>…
>Saying that what just happened was disturbing would be an understatement.
>So you just dropped it.
>The dragon had snapped his fingers again, and materialized a small box with a curtain.
>You had to admit you jumped a bit, anything can happen when this guy snaps his fingers.
>"Come now Anon, don't be shy." the dragon urged, beckoning you forward.
"What exactly am I supposed to do here?"
>"Have you never been to a puppet theatre before? Take a seat, relax, and enjoy the show!"
>A puppet show?
>Really?
>He couldn't just tell you?
>Whatever, you decided to play along and pulled up a chair.
>"Mares, gentlecolts, and humans as well, we now give you our featured presentation!"
>A spotlight suddenly shined over the box as the rest of the room dimmed.
>The curtains were pulled back to reveal a small puppet that oddly resembled the dragon in front of you.
>"Ahem. There once was a devilishly handsome ruler who relished in chaos and disharmony. He flipped mountains, turned night into day, and made it rain chocolate milk. Oh it was absolutely fabulous!"
>You watched the puppet dance around as paper-mache mountains flipped, the sun and moon constantly switch places, and pink clouds drizzle chocolate milk.
>"The ruler of chaos had it made, until a pair of nosy alicorns showed up and ruined the fun."
>As the dragon said that part you saw two puppet...unicorns with wings?
>Whatever they were, one was dark blue and the other was white with a multi colored mane.
>Each had a pair of stupidly large googly eyes and a idiotic grin drawn across their face.
>The dark blue puppet stepped forward as the dragon puppet master began speaking for it.
>"THINE FOUL BEAST SHALT FALL BEFORE MY ABSURDLY LOUD AND COMPLETELY UNECESSARY MANNER OF SPEECH!!!"
>The white puppet then stepped forward to back the blue one up. "We have come to liberate all ponykind from your reign of tyranny!"
>"The chaotic ruler simply laughed at the thought of two alicorns that challenged him." the dragon continued, switching back to being the narrator.
>"However the mares had a clever secret hidden up their hooves."
>Six small jewels dangled down from above as the dragon continued his story.
>"The sisters possessed the core six elements of harmony: Kindness, Loyalty, Generosity, Honesty, Laughter, and Magic! These six elements came together to make the ultimate weapon against the ruler. The battle was short, and the outcome left the glorious ruler a statue."
>The dragon made all the puppets act out his words, and after a snap of his claws the mini dragon turned into a small rock statue.
>"Many centuries passed and the times changed while the poor ruler was left to spend the rest of his days as a statue; but fate would have other plans for the ruler as a stroke of disharmony helped him escape from his stony prison!"
>The puppet dragon broke the stone mold surrounding it and started to fly around the little stage.
>"What luck the ruler had! Not only did the elements that sealed the ruler diminish, but the original holders of said elements were no longer connected to them; however, things weren't as simple as they appeared."
>As the dragon puppet kept dancing six new small pony puppets surrounded it; each with the same googly eyes and stupid grin on their face...except for one.
>"Alas, six new elemental bearers had already been chosen, and once again stood against the spirit of disharmony."
>There was a yellow, purple, pink, white, and orange pony puppet.
>As they stood forward one by one the dragon spoke as if they were introducing themselves.
>"I'm the element of magic! Despite my superior knowledge of spells, I consistently spam the same two until I conveniently cast a master class spell despite still being an apprentice." The purple one said.
>The blue pony puppet was flying in circles as it took center stage.
>"Loyalty here! Gotta go twenty percent faster than the speed of awesome dude!"
>As the blue one flew off the white puppet pranced into the spotlight.
>"I am the element of generosity despite being and over dramatic, gem hoarding mare; but you may have this tacky shirt I made in my spare time."
>A pink curly haired puppet bounced out from the left of the stage until it took the white one's place.
>"Hiya, I'm the element of laughter! That obviously means I must laugh at every single thing even if they aren't really meant to be funny! Whahahahhahah!!"
>When it was done a small lasso wrapped itself around the pink one and drug it off as an orange pony took its spot.
>"Hey y'all! I am tha element of honesty y'all! Despite bein one of the most plain and unnecessary ponies y'all dun eva seen! Did y'all know I like apples!?"
>Wow, that may have been one of the worst southern accent imitations you've ever heard.
>In fact, all of the characters seem to be saying stupid things about themselves.
>Is that how they really talk?
>The last to enter the stage was a little yellow pony, who was the only puppet that didn't have bulging googly eyes and a stupid grin drawn on their face.
>"Um, I represent the element of kindness...i-if that's okay with you." the yellow puppet squeaked.
>"These six warriors of harmony stood before the chaotic ruler to repeat what the previous two had done to him." the dragon said, back in narrative. "However the ruler had been expecting this, and devised a plan!"
>Suddenly a small grass maze appeared in the background of the stage.
>"A little white lie, a twisted slip of the tongue, had turned them all against each other one by one."
>The puppets argued back and forth; eventually splitting up in different directions while the dragon puppet flew around triumphantly.
>"The ruler had bested the elements and celebrated his victory. Chaos reigned once again!"
>The dragon was once again surrounded by flipping mountains and pink clouds that rained chocolate milk.
>"The ruler was admittedly overconfident in his victory, and didn't expect for the elements to come back with their bonds restored. Needless to say the dragon paid for his arrogance dearly by being imprisoned in stone once more."
>You saw the six ponies surround the dragon, petrifying him in stone yet again.
>"All seemed lost for the dragon as he was sealed again, but after little more than a year something...unexpected happened."
>The scene changed to an unfamiliar small town where the six ponies had released the dragon from stone.
>"The ruler had been given a chance to turn over a new leaf, a clean slate, a chance to reform. It was the perfect opportunity for the ruler...to spread more chaos!"
>You were starting to see a pattern here and could probably guess where this was headed.
>Before the dragon continued its show he peeked out from behind the small box and looked at you.
>"Now I know what the audience may be thinking, but just keep watching. This is where it gets good."
>Your only response was a raised eyebrow.
>"As I was saying, the chaotic ruler had been given another chance to spread chaos! To make matters even better a pony had been fooli-- er, kind enough to promise never to use an element of harmony on him again!"
>You watched as evil looking beavers flooded a big red barn; only to have the small dragon freeze the lake over and start ice skating.
>The other five ponies urged the yellow pony to use its gem necklace.
>Though no matter what the others had to say, the yellow one simply shook its head.
>"The ruler was enjoying his immunity from the elements of harmony and free pass for unlimited chaos when the element of kindness did the most unusual thing."
>The yellow puppet stepped forward as the dragon started speaking for it. "Return everything back to the way it was or I'll renounce our friendship!"
>You watched the puppet dragon skate a figure eight on the frozen lake as the small pony stood firmly.
>"The dragon mocked the naive element of kindness until he came to a startling realization. This was the first time in his entire life that a pony not only was his friend, but also cared enough to honor a promise made to fool them."
>The spotlight focused on the dragon puppet before he continued.
>"It was then and there when he felt it, the ruler changed thanks to the kindness of a pony he won't soon forget. He made a promise of his own that day. A promise to use his magic for good from then on...mostly."
>All the puppets stood beside each other and bowed as the curtain fell and the show ended.
>You turned to see the dragon floating besides your seat.
>He was throwing roses and clapping while cheering things like "Bravo!" and "Encore!".
"...Question."
>"Yes?"
"As interesting as that play may have been. What does it have to do with me being here right now?"
>"Ah yes, you see that was a little history lesson. It's what happened a year after what you just saw that explains why you're here right now." said the dragon, snapping his fingers yet again.
>The room started quickly rearranging itself every five seconds or so, causing you to be slung along with the chair every time it moved.
>"You see the princess of this land had a plan, she decided to make an official program founded around what happened to the dragon called "T.E.R.P".
>You were hanging from the ceiling for dear life as the dragon nonchalantly carried on.
>The only thing keeping you from crashing to the floor was the chair you were gripping from the sides.
"T.E.R.P? What the heck is that!?" you yelled from the ceiling.
>"The Equestria Reformation Program. To put it simply the goal here is to improve troubled beings, and teach them all the wonders of harmony." the dragon cackled.
>Before you could respond the furniture in the room once again shifted, and you ended up being thrown to the ground.
>"Argh! Frickin chair!"
>You kicked the chair in frustration, but in a couple of seconds it plowed past you as room shifted again.
>Just what you needed, more injuries.
>After dusting yourself off you try to get back on track.
"So Drocsid sent me here to...reform me?"
>"Ah! You're starting to get a hold of things, but you're not quite there yet." the dragon chortled.
>You slammed you're hand on a table that flew towards you.
"STOP BEING ROUNDABOUT AND TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON."
>"Well aren't we impatient! Hmphf! Fine then, I'll keep it brief."
>The dragon flew to the ground in front of you, lowering his head to eye level.
>"Anon! You have been chosen by Princess Sunbutt herself to be the first to participate in our newest edition to T.E.R.P; specifically designed to help troubled humans such as yourself discover the wonders of friendship and harmony!"
>...
>What?
>Something wasn't registering in your brain.
>Like it just tried to divide by zero, or comprehend infinity.
>This is too unrealistic.
>Wait. Remember to breathe.
>Breathe in, and out.
>…
>Okay just calm down and look at the facts, that's a good place to start.
>Everything's a cartoon.
>A talking dragon is saying a princess wants to 'reform' you for reasons unknown.
>YOU are a cartoon.
>Apparently this isn't Earth, and magic exists here.
>You are a FREAKING cartoon.
>…
>And now the room is spinning.
>No seriously, the dragon literally did something to the room to make it spin.
"That isn't helping!" you screamed, pointing towards the dragon.
"Hm? Terribly sorry Anon. I just get bored so easily, and I must find ways to entertain myself." the dragon said with a shrug.
>With a snap of his fingers the dragon returned the room to normal.
>You plopped on the chair near a table and slumped forward.
"Ugh! How did this day spiral out of control so quickly?"
>The dragon popped beside you and laid a hand on your shoulder.
>"Worrying about the how's will get you nowhere fast my dear Anon. The real question is what happens next!"
"But...I'm not a criminal or anything, so why me out of everyone else in my world?"
>The dragon stroked his small gray beard for a moment in though.
>"Princess Sunbutt was not looking for an 'evil' human, she was looking for a 'troubled' human. It is simply what you lack that makes you qualified as troubled."
"What I lack?"
>"Yes Anon, you lack one of the most fundamental joys that can ever be experienced in life!"
>After a short while you realized he was playing theatrics and wanted you to respond.
"So...this all important joy I'm missing is?"
>"Simple, you lack the joy of friendship."
>You slammed you fist against the table. "You ever think maybe there's a reason for that?"
>"Why of course, after all there's a reason for everything." The dragon grinned, "What we're doing is offering a way to help you fix these reasons."
"..."
>The dragon noticed your stare and stopped talking for a moment.
>"Is something bothering you Anon? I mean besides the whole 'sucked into a new world' thing."
"You know I've been talking to you awhile now, and you seem to know everything that's going on."
>"Well of course I should know; I'm a part of this program after all."
"Are you...Drocsid?" you asked with uncertainty.
>The dragon answered with a demented smile. "You're correct, but not completely."
>You banged you're head against the table.
>This dragon can never give a straight freaking answer.
"So what exactly is that supposed to mean?"
>"I am indeed the one who coerced you into coming to Equestria, but my true name is not Drocsid per se. That was merely an alias."
>Okay, now we're getting somewhere.
"So what is your name?"
>"I've been called many names: Tyrant, The Spirit of Disharmony, The Chaotic Ruler, Drocsid, but you may call me Discord!" the dragon announced with a bow.
"...I see, so that's why you've been answering all my questions."
>"Consider this an orientation of sorts to help you get into the gist of things. Now, I'm going to make one thing absolutely certain before I leave you to mull it over."
"You can't blow my mind any further than it already is. Let me hear it."
>"What I have just told you is all merely an offer."
"Excuse me?"
>"The whole point in this program is to promote friendship and harmony! We can't very well maintain that image with an unwilling human now can we?"
"Why give me a choice when I'm already stuck here? It's not like I can get back to my world on my own."
>Discord flew down from the ceiling, and for the first time since meeting him looked serious.
>"Because you have to be willing to change. Trust me, it's worth trying."
"Trust you?" you asked, slowly rising from your seat. "The whole reason I'm here was based on a series of lies you told me!"
>"Now wait just a second," Discord said, teleporting behind your back. "Technically I only told you ONE lie, and that was about the virtual reality game. The rest were all your OWN misunderstandings."
>You thought back a little before answering.
>…
>Shoot, he was right.
>The only lie was to get you to the address for the game.
>The recording simply said to drink the chocolate milk so they could meet.
>He never mentioned anything about the game in the recording.
"...gehehe...hahahaHAHA! You got me Discord! With one little lie you managed to trick me into your world."
>Discord floated above the table with a new glass of chocolate milk; he appeared to be amused with your reaction.
>"Well you certainly don't look as angry as I'd expected."
"Nah, I consider it a loss on my part for not being more attentive. Though I am kinda bummed about there being no virtual game."
>"Hmm, so I see. What will you do now?"
>"I still can't be too sure if any of this is even real; however, I've decided to take it one step at a time, starting with my decision."
>You held out your hand at Discord.
"Gotta coin?"
>With a snap of his fingers Discord conjured a coin and gave it to you with a grin.
>"Deciding your future on a game of chance? I like the way you think!"
"I figure since a game was the reason I ended up here it might as well choose whether I stay or not."
>As you looked the coin over you saw one side was Discord giving a thumbs up; the other side was him giving a thumbs down.
"Thumbs up I accept, and thumbs down I refuse." you said, flipping the coin up in the air.
>As the coin gleamed in the light you thought about how much your life would change if it landed on heads.
>You would probably lose your stuff back home, but your 'Pro Gamer' ad was already failing so it was all going to be pawned for cash anyway's.
>Or maybe it would land on tails and you wake up in your apartment; wondering if this all was just a dream.
>As you palmed the coin you looked down to see what it landed on.
>…
"Discord."
>"The one and only."
"Tell this princess that Anonymous the human has decided to stay and be put in T.E.R.P."
>Looks like your life just got a lot more interesting.
 
 
 
>You were laid on a table, smelling nice and fresh.
>There were ponies in the room all surrounding you.
>Each of them had giant googly eyes and squiggle grins.
>The aroma you were giving off was making them all drool.
>One of them had a knife in their hoof.
>You screamed in protest, but they ignored you.
>The cold edge penetrates you as your insides are severed.
>You are quickly cut into pieces, and passed around the room.
>They mercilessly devour you entirely; licking your insides off their hooves.
>Your name is Anonymous, and you are a cherry pie.
 
 
 
"AH! STOP EATING ME!" you screamed, jumping awake.
>…
>Was that just a dream?
>You were being eaten alive...as a pie?
>What the heck was that about?
>Whatever it was you didn't like it.
>You slowly got up and stretched from where you were sleeping.
>After you finished you looked around to find everything still like a cartoon.
>Including yourself.
"Looks like I'm still here."
>…
>That's funny.
>For some reason after a good rest you felt like you had a better grip on things.
>The whole cartoon world was actually kind of cool after getting used to it.
>You sat back on the bed and looked outside the window.
>The sun was rising, making everything gleam with a tint of yellow.
>Last night after you gave Discord your answer he gave you a crash course on this world.
>In the form of another puppet show.
>You got the basics, but there was still a lot of things you didn't get.
>Apparently the main species in this world are ponies.
>Unicorns, Pegasuses, and Earth Ponies.
>Unicorns had horns and could do magic.
>Which was awesome.
>Pegasuses had wings and could fly.
>Which was also awesome.
>Earth Ponies were tough and were naturally gifted at growing things.
>Which was...productive.
>Then there was the rare breed of Alicorns, a mix of all three.
>Which was kind of cheap in your opinion, but cool all the same.
>Just then a knock at the door cut off your train of thought.
>"Breakfast cart for the uh...human!' a voice said with uncertainty.
"Come in, I don't bite."
>The door opened to reveal a brown earth pony dragging a small cart.
>Judging from the color of it's coat a male.
>You noticed he had a chef hat for a tattoo near his rear.
>Guy must really love his job.
>"Good morning sir! We've got a little bit of everything since we don't know exactly what you prefer." he said, clearing his throat afterwards.
"Thanks man, I could use something to eat."
>After he finished dragging the cart up you looked it over.
>Wow he really wasn't lying; they prepared a large variety of food for you.
>On the top shelf was all sorts of muffins, biscuits, fruits, pastries, and toast.
>Then on the middle there was ham, bacon, eggs, and baked chicken.
>The bottom had a row of juices, tea, and punch.
>...
>Hold on.
>Wait just a Mcflipping second.
>The earth pony saw you glaring at the cart and began sweating.
>"U-um...something wrong sir?"
"There's no coffee."
>"Pardon?"
"Coffee. You know, a dark and delicious beverage made from coffee beans that can be enjoyed with breakfast."
>"Terribly sorry, but since it's already here why don't you enjoy the breakfast while I see if there's any mo--"
>The earth pony fell silent as you put your hand on his back.
"Listen, I'm a merciful man. That's why I'm going to give you a chance to fix this."
>"But s-sir I--!"
"Shhhhh...now, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to PRETEND you didn't just walk in here without any coffee. You're going to get some coffee; then after you bring that tray back WITH coffee we can all have a nice, pleasant conversation about whatever...got me?"
>The earth pony gave a fearful nod and quickly sped from the room with the cart.
>It only took five minutes for him to come back with a fresh and steaming cup of joe.
>You graciously took the cup from him with a smile.
"Thanks man." you said, taking a sip. "Sorry about earlier, but without at least one cup of coffee my mood can turn for the worst."
>"It's quite alright sir, please enjoy your breakfast."
>With a slight nod the earth pony left the room as you started pilling food in your mouth.
>You attacked the meats first, and then moved on to the breads and fruit.
>Finishing it all off with a cup of joe.
>Who knew a race of sentiment talking ponies could prepare food so well?
>This was so much better stuff than the leftovers in your fridge.
>After a short while an empty cart with messy dishes was all that remained of the breakfast.
>You were picking your teeth when an armored white stallion came into the room.
>"Mr. Anonymous the human, the Princess has summoned you to the grand hall."
>Guess it's time to get things rolling.
>You hopped off the small bed and stretched your legs.
"Alright then, lead the way," you said, giving a thumbs up. "I'm right behind ya."
>You followed the golden plated guard out the room and down a large hall.
>That's funny, now that you think about it this was the first time you've been out of that room since coming here.
>There were long banners with different designs all through the halls.
>Some had moons, others had suns, and some actually had scenes with ponies sewn in the fabric.
>Towering stain glass windows showed different scenes of ponies as well.
>Yup...lots and lots of ponies.
>It was kind of awkward just silently following the stallion, so you decided to make small talk.
"Nice place you got here."
>"..."
>"Would be a real shame if something bad happened to it."
>The guard suddenly looked back with fierce glare.
>"Was that a threat?"
"What? No! It was a joke for fancy places I always wanted to use, honest!"
>The guard stared you down for awhile before he started walking again.
>You decided silence was the better option for the rest of the escort.
>After a short while you were looking up a ridiculously tall set of golden doors.
>The guard turned to face you before opening the doors.
>"One more thing before you enter."
"Oh? What's up?"
>"You may want to refrain from your human jokes," the guard warned. "Least you end up in the Canterlot Dungeon."
"Right...I understand." you sighed, hanging your head low.
>"Good."
> As the guard opened the set of doors his voice echoed throughout the room. "Presenting Anonymous The Human!"
>When the doors flew open the scene made you stop for a minute.
"Whoa..."
>You walked into a room filled with hundreds and hundreds of ponies.
>They were all cheering for you, some were throwing confetti while others stomped their hooves.
>Guess that's their equivalent of clapping.
>You turned and made your way down the isle where a tall white alicorn stood.
>She wore a small golden crown on the top of her head.
>Must be the princess.
>With a single 'ahem' from her the crowd fell completely silent.
>"Greetings everypony, we are all gathered here today to celebrate a very special event. This makes a full year since the founding of The Equestria Reformation Program; many have participated in this program, whether supervisor, mentor, or student."
>As she kept speaking a warm smile appeared on her face. "Let me take this moment to thank everypony from the bottom of my heart."
>Her thanks didn't go unnoticed as the crowd broke out in more cheers and hoof stomps.
>The princess waited patiently for the crowd to stop before continuing.
>"After a year of getting everything in order I am honored to announce the beginning of a new part of 'T.E.R.P' that can extend its help beyond even our world. This new branch will bring humans from a close world here to discover the joys of friendship and harmony."
>She turned and beckoned you towards the top of the stairs with a smile as warm as the sun. "Anonymous, can you please step forward?"
>You slowly climbed the stairs and stood in front of her.
>When face to face you noticed she may be the first pony there matching your height.
>If you count the horn she's actually taller than you.
>"I would like everypony to welcome Anonymous the human to Equestria, and treat him with the same kindness and respect of any other pony."
>The crowd broke out into another round of hoof stomping as Princess Sunbutt leaned towards you so you could hear.
>"Anonymous, may I please see your hand?"
>How could you refuse that warm, sweet smile?
>As you lifted your hand she tapped the back of it with the tip of her white horn.
>Just then a relaxing heat spread over your hand as yellow light traveled down the back of your palm.
>The light formed into a small heart surrounded by dark clouds and a black background.
"Whoa, what the--!?"
>"I will explain everything in due time, but know this spell will not harm you."
>You looked at the small, dark, heart and felt a twinge of unease.
>You didn't like the looks of it, but you also didn't feel any different, so you decide to let it slide.
>After the princess finished with whatever the heck she did to your hand she stepped back.
>"Anonymous, welcome to Equestria and The Equestria Reformation Program." she said, cheerfully smiling.
>The best you could muster was a weak, sweaty grin.
>"U-uhh...thanks."
>As she giggled you couldn't help but feel a little nervous; she just had that charm about her.
>With a wave all the chatter and cheering quieted as she began speaking again.
>"Now, without further delay I would like to announce the mentor of the first human student ever to participate in T.E.R.P. This mentor will guide this student down the correct path of friendship and harmony."
>Anxious chatter spread among the crowd of ponies, but for the first time you saw the princess hesitate to speak.
>She actually looked pretty nervous about what she was going to say next.
>"The mentor assigned to guide Anonymous the human...will be..."
>The murmuring was growing in the crowd with questions of the princess's strange behavior.
>"...Discord."
>…
>Silence.
>Absolute silence; like someone just froze time kind of silence.
>The crowd of cheering and talkative ponies were frozen in utter horror at that name.
>…
"Sooo...can't help but feel like I'm not getting something here."
>Before the princess could answer a booming laughter echoed through the room.
>With a sudden bright flash of light Discord had appeared right beside you.
>He had a maddening smile and couldn't stop snickering.
>"Greetings Anonymous! I will be your mentor and you the student. We're going to have so much fun learning the wonders of friendship and harmony together!"
>…
>One of the ponies in the crowd screamed, and like a chain reaction the whole lot started to run and scream from the room.
>The guards tried their best to calm the crowd, but were trampled in the process.
>Amongst the chaos Discord had a pleased look.
>"Ahh...nothing like a little bit of chaos to start the day!"
>The princess stomped her front hoof; glaring at the dragon.
>"Discord!" She exclaimed. "How many times must I tell you to not send my loyal subjects into a panic?"
>"Terribly sorry Sunbutt, but I couldn't hold my excitement and appeared before everypony!"
>"I also have asked you numerous times to refrain from calling me that name."
>"Ah, but remind me." Discord said, flying beside the alicorn. "Which Alicorn princess said I could come up with a nickname as a sign of our new found friendship?"
>The princess struggled to answer a small "I did." before looking away in frustration.
>Ah, so Sunbutt was her nickname.
>You were so close to calling her that too.
"So anyway," you said, breaking the momentary silence. "What's the deal with everyone running away like that?"
>Discord looked at you quizzically. "Didn't you pay attention to the puppet show Anon? I thought it would've answered that question already."
>You mean the one about the chaotic ruler? Yeah I remember that one."
>"Well apparently even after a year some of the ponies still aren't quite used to seeing the reformed spirit of disharmony."
>...Wait a minute.
"YOU'RE THE CHAOTIC RULER!?"
>Discord folded his arms. "Well," he said, turning his back to you. "looks like a certain human wasn't paying attention last night; and to think I went through all the trouble."
>The princess had stepped forward between the two of you with a look of uncertainty.
>"Discord, I assumed you had Anonymous well informed of everything here."
>"Why of course I did, he just had a slight misunderstanding."
"Slight like heck! You said that crap went down hundreds of years ago!"
>"And it did," Discord said with a shrug. "What's not to understand?"
>Was this flying lunatic seriously not seeing the problem here?
"HOW ARE YOU BOTH  STILL ALIVE?"
>"Anonymous," the princess cut in. "We are both creatures that lack mortality."
"Lack mortality...you mean like you're both immortal?"
>"In a sense, yes." she smiled.
>"Is this matter settled then?" Discord asked. "If so then lets move on."
>"Just a second Discord. I understand our 'agreement' was to let you have Anonymous as a student, but let me remind you of my condition."
>Discord rolled his eyes in annoyance.
>"Yes, yes, the purple one is to be my supervisor in Ponyville while I teach Anon."
>"I would also like to remind you that any out of control magic that harms anypony is strictly forbidden."
>Discord suddenly popped into a green scout outfit.
>"You have my word Sunbutt," Discord saluted. "scout's honor."
>"Discord, you're not part of the colt scouts."
>Suddenly Discord grabbed your collar and ascended into the air.
"Whoa just what're you doing!?"
>"Why heading to your home away from home of course!" Discord chuckled. "Ponyville awaits!"
>"Discord wait!" the princess called. "There's a train ready for you and Anonymous!"
>"Flying is much more interesting! Wouldn't you agree Anon?"
>Discord was laughing joyfully while flying straight out the castle doors and into the sky with you in tow.
>"Ohohoh!"
"AAAAAHHHHH!"
>Yep.
>Things were definitely going to get interesting from now on.
"I wanna take the train! I WANNA TAKE THE TRAIN!!"
>That is if you didn't die making it to Ponyville.
>After all, your friendship mentor is an ancient reformed spirit of chaos.
>"Can't hear you Anon!"
"DISCOORRRDDD!"
 
 
/End.