LinkAnon shorts
#1
>be LinkAnon, use Ocarina of Time to teleport to the Lost Woods
>you played a note too sharp, get teleported to Equestria via Everfree Forest
>the adventure begins
-----
>you begin killing creatures, cutting trees and slashing at grass
>must be a strict monetary system here, no rupees are coming out
>you stumble upon the forest temple of this world, has a boss lock on the door
>you search around and solve easy puzzles in the nearby shed, find spare key
>unlock door and enter the hut
>must be an easy temple, you’re already at the boss
>it’s an angry zebra looking demon, who throws potions at you
>you dodge and weave through the small arena, you send out your trusty fairy Navi to discover its weakspot
>“HEY HEY HEY LOOK LISTEN WATCH OUT”
>put Navi away, try to use your sword
>it works, boss is slashed in half, huh
>you rip out its heart container from the corpse’s ribcage, steal a mask hanging from above that looked fancy
>medallion of forest
-----
 
#2
 
>you exit the forest and try playing Epona’s song
>nothing works, you start shouting her name
”YAHHHHH! HYAHHHHHHH~!”
>she’s not here, must be stolen again
>you traverse Ponyville Field, which is stated bluntly on the screens
>you follow a pathway, leading you to the local ranch
>”Sweet Apple Acres”
>maybe you can get a bottle from here
>you approach a local denization, an orange and blonde colored pony
>interesting race, but you’ve dealth with sexually and racially offensive Gorons
>this is a walk in the park
>“What in tarnations are ya, and what do you want here, Sugarcube?”
“HAHHH YAHHH HOOOAHHH! … … HOAH.”
>“Link, and you’re from this Hyrule place, eh? Pleasure to meetcha, name’s Applejack, and you’re sure a cute thing!”
>she looks like a cartoonish version of Epona, somewhat
>there was no Epona in Windwaker, what is this bullshit
“Hyuh, aaagh… yaaagh?”
>“Have I seen a horse named Epona? I reckon I haven’t, she your special somep0ny?”
“YEEEAAAGH?!”
>”I’m just messin’ with ya, Sugarcube!”
>you try to explain the situation when Navi pops out
>”HEY HEY HEY HEY”
>you cork her in your only bottle
>you need more bottles, but explanation comes first
“HAHH, YAUGH HO-HA! YUURUGH, GYYAHHH…”
>”Oh wow, you need a good trusty steed that you can ride, eh? I got just the pony for ya!”
>sweet, this is the easiest sidequest yet
-----
>you spend two hours as Applejack fucks the hearts out of ya
>you’re gonna need a red potion or two after this
>”Easy there, fella, try to enjoy this with meh!”
>you’re shouting as you come five times in a row
“YAHHH! TCH! YAAAAUUGH, GUH! ARRRRRRUGHUH!”
>”Ah know dat feeling!”
>she finally plops over in exhaustion, loyally devoted to you
>Epona’s song is now Applejack’s song
>you go into her kitchen, and rummage her dishware
>you now have 12 bottles packed down
>time to find a fairy fountain soon
-----
#3
>back onto Ponyville Field, you run around, Applejack too tired for you to ride her
>you drop bombs by large looking rocks, exploding debris
>you’re suddenly stopped by a pegasus
>”Whoa whoa whoa! What are you doing, you can’t just blow up stuff around here!”
“HOOYA YAUUGH HAAA!”
>”Think you’re funny, eh? Try to take on my awesome speed then!”
>you recognize her, she’s a fucking takkuri
>bitch gonna try stealing your sword
>she swoops down on you, and you bash her in the face with your shield
>steal this motherfucker, she crashes into the dirt as you pull out ice arrows
>you fire two, freezing her into giant icecube
>you wait for the effect to thaw off so you can finish her off and grab the giant orange rupee
“…. HYUH?!”
>she’s not thawing at all, this might take a while
>you lose interest and continue towards what appears to be a town of some sort