The Nine Falling Stars
Okay, I just read Chapter One. Turns out this Fic was even MORE autistic than i originally described
I starts with Luna having a dream about faceless pony that promises to "make her a nightmare again" when celestia bursts into the room to console her sister. she hears the description and decides to research the titular slenderman. It then cut's to Derpy, playing with a muffin toy when she hears shouting from beyond a hill. There, she sees some nine mysterious ponies arguing about "getting home." she is then spotted by sniper, who asks her to lead her to someone who can send them home (twilight). When they get into town they meet the usual crew where we learn that pinkie had a bad dream, and even asks if dash had all her body parts. The all the stuff you think happens, happens. (spy flirts with rarity, scout wants to challenge dash to a race) until they meet with Tinkles. Tinkles sends a letter to Sunlight, who says she saw nine falling stars. We also learn that Lunar can detect darkness, even the ones in peoples hearts, which essentially means that she can detect pure bullshit 1/x
Turns out they can't send them back because they lack the magical knowledge to send them, and will have to do more research. All of a sudden the town is attacked by a bunch of diamond dogs that have been turned black, reducing them to pure instincts to destroy and murder. Also they were corrupted. The mercs decide to burst into action because they want to take their minds off of thing with indiscriminate murder. Then a fight scene ensues. Soldier uses a trowel, heavy uses fists, spy somehow disappears and backstabs (even though they specified earlier that they only had basic weapons and magic) medic uses healing mejic, etc. But engie is in a predicament, he has no sentry gun! what will he do? Suddenly, he notices the gems on the dress. That's it! he yanks off the dress (with rarara's uneasy permission and builds a makeshift sentry gun with planks and magic that can burn people with plasma. also, sniper uses a raincloud as a sniper rifle to pick off the dogs. also, when each one interacts with them they feel a slight itch on their necks, for some spoopy reason but brush it off. 2/x
It was a this time that I remembered that Derpy was raising Dinky, which soldier saves from a Dog that was rushing them. The scene then transitions to the last of the diamond dogs, where the smartest diamond dog that realized how to actually block are standing. The medic realizes that he could have Tickles copy the spell. He proceeds to have twilight UberCharge the Princesses so they can destroy the last of the Black Dogs. Actually, there's only 27 killed when there was actually 30, so they look around and find Pyro doing unwritten things to the Dogs. Eventually they talk about the most enthralling part of the adventure, Housing. Demoman Works with Pancake, Scout and Snipperclip live with Dash, Medic with Tang, Hoovy and Engie with Appul, Spy with Rah, and Pyro with Flittters. We the learn how Luna was corrupted. Turns out she drank the red Kool-Aid. The End. The Fic finally Ends with Celestia seeing the semen-colored pony of legend herself 3/3
 
Adjustments and Absurdities
Oh hey, i’m back. We return to the scene with our heroes relaxing after the last battle, doing all their usual character things. Twi talks a bit about how she discovered warding spells after spike burned somethings she was working on so Flutewhistle can rest easy without having to worry about the forest being burned down. They also talk about how past experiences with the respawn, Solly mentions how he had a moisterious flashback when he saw the derpy family screaming for help, and how his memory was muddled after the war.
We then transition to Demo meeting the Cake couple, Where Mrs. Cake reveals the dream involved hurting rainbow (oh god) dismemberment (oh godder) and cupcakes (OHH NOOO). And then there are more Ponk antics. After a short cut to Medic And Magic, we cut to Spy, who tell Gemsnoot that when he was transported all his spy devices merged with him, allowing for infinite invisibility and disguise and i’ll give you one fucking guess what really happened. Also, Rarity decides to ask about “battlefield fashion” for reasons that are beyond me, and spy of course asks if she knows anything about hats. Als turns out there was a short socks craze. Thought it was interesting.
We then cut back to Saladman, who is uncomfortable in the relaxed situation of Horse Village. Als he is being haunted by the memories he repressed. Turns out Derps husband died in a chimera attack and didn’t decide to move away because “muh tradition.” We transition into Ranbow’s pace where we find Soup and Razorback talking about getting a job at the weather factory. Engineer and Heavy talk with Apples about past farm experiences and flinch at Big Mac because they must secure a future for the BLU race and defend against the RED menace. After some food, Heavy talks to Engineer about his Daughter and Ex-Wife, Getting Home and Medic’s edgy “This world is too good for us”attitude.
SHIT I forgot to mention the Implied relationship between Engineer and Pyro, who only listens to what Enige says because of reasons. Also we spend some time with Flutebutt And Pyrorama. All goes well until Pyro has a nightmare when she goes to bed, screaming about “Mommy” until Fingerbutter soothes her by singing a song. We also find out that Engie bonded with Pyram over the divorce and custody case.
Okay, I just want to warn you, this is where the fics starts to go off the rails. We cut to three faceless ponies, each with a red circle that has a an cross through it. Apparently they are watching Engie And Peaches, and this is an excerpt of what the say
>ThE ChAtTeRiNg ClOwN...tHe RaGiNg WaR cRy...ThE lOsT sOuL oF fIrE...tHe LaUgHiNg DeStRuCtIoN...tHe BrUtAl JuGgErNaUt...ThE aNgEl-HeArTeD bUiLdEr...ThE dEaD oNe...ThE hEaRt Of IcE...tHe KiLlInG gHoSt...
And then they fucking vanish. The chapter ends with Celestia turning into a paranoid mess before seeing Slendermane in the window.
 
Nothing Can Stop It - Part 1
Before we begin, I need to preface this chapter. When I started reading this trainwreck, I was hazy when it came to my memory of slimjimman. I had thought that the writer had simply shoehorned the character in with no rhyme or reason. Which caused blindsided me when the chapter began with a TOTHEARK reference. What the hell does that have to do with slenderman? Well, while the character of slenderman was created on somethingawful, what made him POPULAR was a series on marble hornets. While I’m not going to take too much time explaining the plot (mostly because there’s a video that could explain more about the series than I ever could whilst being massively more entertaining https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_sACgfX50g) there was an anonymous creator that was a massive part of the lore called totheark. What does this mean exactly? It means that he had enough foresight to actually research marble hornets and watch the full series, but NOT enough to realize think: hey, maybe I SHOULDN’T put fucking slenderman in a My Little Pony fanfiction about TF2.
Anyways, Celestia has a dream about totheark and misses her cue to raise the sun. She asks for a book about “dreams and hauntings” and gets ready for the day. When we find Twilight she is having a chat with medic about a zombie plague he created, mostly showing the medic’s callous disregard for human life. It then shows Demolitions Expert being awoken by Plastic serenading him awake. After some boring stuff (soldier escorts dinky to school, spy disappears for a bit, demoman buys a bottle of scrumpy from berry) it cuts to the farm. Applebloimey asks Cumbersome what his cutie mark is, which he responds by saying it’s a weapon and leaving it at that. Also, Appleground realizes demoman is described as honest and straightforward, making her curious. Heavy also investigates the chimera attack, where Anglefruit’s parents died. Apparently There was only one survivor named screwball, and it Ponytraumatized her. After they talk for a bit about being Equine creatures, Soldier comes back saying he got a job at the school as a gym teacher. Then a royal guard bursts asking for the assistance of the mercs in tracking down the source of the Black Dogs (Who I learn to my disappointment are actually called Nightmare Dogs).
     Heavy, Medic, Pyro, and Spy along with Flutty and Rarity are chosen (the reason not all of them are going is because Flutewhistle has animal communication and Rocks because she had “past experience” but really we all know it’s so the characters are ambushed and need the _____ to save the day) Oh, spoiler alert: they’re ambushed. Also, Heavy was too heavy to be dragged off so they just leave him there.After they attach the crew to minecarts the dogs shove some special powder into Racketeer to preoccupy her. Eventually FullyCharged reveals the spy escaped a long time ago and frees Pyro and Luna who do unspeakable things to the dogs in a jumpcut.
After they interrogate the Dingos it’s revealed that they were drinking ‘curse water’ which hides their power level BUT if you drink to much the power consumes them, creating the Black Dogs. Once they follow the tunnel the Element Bearers feel a chill which Lulu explains might be caused by sensitivity to ebil magicks. After getting to the bottom Lander flips the fuck out at the black liquid. Turns out it’s grape Kool-aid (The Smooze).
It is this time when shit gets real. Spookermane shows up in front of Celly before a DIFFERENT Slendy pops up, this time with a horn but it’s described as looking more like a fucking sword which the cast calls Masky Unicorn. Apparently there is a trio of slenderponies working under the ACTUAL Slendermane as physical lackeys the actual characters can see. So after emerging from the Smooze Pond, Masky University tendril-stabs Spy which reverses his personality, transforming him into (drumroll please)... SPYDIER.
After that fiasco it cuts to the outside, where the regular dogs form a puddle of Smooze, which unleashed Masky Earth Pony. Masky Mudpone then tendrils Rarity and Fluttershy, unleashing FlutterCruel and oh god the memories are coming back. You see, when all of the Six transform, it’s not the regular grayscale. No the Author thought it was appropriate to make them have BLACK EYES WITH WHITE PUPILS. Anyways, the chapter ends with Twiledge and Masky Plank corrupting Spike to burn down the village.